Relinquish Control of Your Man
All control is based in fear. If you’re not afraid, you don’t need to try to control what your husband says on the phone, what he eats for lunch, or how much money he spends.
If you’ve ever corrected your husband’s driving or told him what to wear or when to mow the lawn, you were suffering from the illusion that you could control him.
I know this sounds extreme—I once thought so too. But over time I came to see that knowing where I end and my husband begins, and behaving accordingly, was absolutely critical to having a great relationship. It improved the rest of my life in big ways too.
Prescription: If you have a hard time refraining from commenting on something that is your husband’s responsibility or decision, ask yourself:
1. What am I afraid of?
2. Is my fear realistic?
3. Can I actually control the situation?
4. Is it worth the intimacy it would cost me to try to control?
When you feel the urge to control, try asking yourself these questions first to empower yourself to make a choice about whether to say what’s on the tip of your tongue or to focus on your own happiness and self-care instead.