All of the characters in The Downstairs Neighbor are grappling with the question, How well do we really know those closest to us? Spouses, children, parents, and neighbors all have something to hide—what is each character hiding, and how do their secrets impact one another? How does keeping secrets endanger or protect each of them?
Did you find any of the narrators in the novel to be more reliable than others? On a different note, did you find certain characters to be more relatable (regardless of their reliability)? Did your perceptions of each narrator change over the course of the read?
How does the setting of The Downstairs Neighbor impact the plot? Could this story have taken place if all of the characters lived in separate homes? What does having all of our characters—and suspects—under one roof add to the narrative?
How do the experiences of our teenage years impact us as adults? Take a look at Emma, Kate, and Freya’s time as teenagers in particular.
Compare and contrast the different relationships between mothers and their teenage children in the novel. What parenting mistakes do Emma, Steph, and Kate’s mother make? What do they do right?
Is eavesdropping or spying on your neighbors or family members ever permissible? Under what circumstances?
Discuss the ways that the past—or misconceptions about the past—impact Paul, Steph, and Emma. Do you believe that in the end they are able to move beyond past traumas? If so, why?
Why do you think Emma agrees to keep Steph’s secret for her, and why is she so intrigued by the Harlow family? Why do you think the two women feel connected to one another?
Both Steph and Paul have changed their identities over the course of their lives, and go to great lengths to prevent their loved ones from finding out about their pasts. How does not being able to talk about their previous identities hurt the two of them individually and as a couple? What are the psychological effects of burying a previous identity?
What do you make of Steph’s final words in the novel? Do you think that she and Paul will stick to their resolution to be more honest in the future? What do you think is next for the Harlow family?