Hamilton Horse Ranch

Baker Prairie, Oregon

December 25th, 1857

 

Little fists pounding against the bedroom door jerked Luke awake.

“Mama! Papa,” Nattie and Amy shouted, but, as they had been taught, the girls didn’t open the door.

Nora slipped out of bed. She leaned down to kiss Luke’s cheek. “Go get dressed. I’ll distract them until you’re ready to join us.”

Ten minutes later, when Luke stepped out of the bedroom, breasts bound beneath her shirt and vest, Amy and Nattie jumped up and down in the parlor.

“Papa.” Nattie grabbed her hand and dragged her over to the window. “Look. It snowed.”

It wasn’t the mountains of snow Luke had grown up with back east, but a bit of snow had fallen overnight. Now three inches of snow covered the corral, the tree branches, and the hills around the ranch. “So Santa shouldn’t have had any problems delivering presents last night,” Luke said. “Maybe you should go check your stockings.”

“Wait.” Nora laid one hand on each of the girls’ shoulders, then glanced at Luke. “Can you go and get Phin first? From the look of things, I bet he never got to celebrate Christmas before.”

Luke went over to the bunkhouse, where Phin had spent the night.

When she opened the door, Toby was putting a new log into the cast-iron stove. Hank sat on his bunk, but the two other beds were empty.

“Where’s the boy?” Luke asked.

“Gone,” Hank said. “He’d already left when I woke up.”

Luke trudged back through the snow to the main house, trying to find the right words to explain it to her family. The girls would be disappointed. They had wanted to show off their presents to the newcomer, and Nora had wanted to spoil him with good food and motherly warmth on Christmas.

A strange noise from the ranch yard made her turn around before she reached the veranda.

There, in the middle of the ranch yard, stood Phin. Sweat shone on his brow, and one sleeve of his threadbare coat was ripped. Both of his hands were wrapped around the slender trunk of a young white oak.

Luke squinted over at him. “What are you doing?”

Slowly, Phin crossed the ranch yard and propped the tree up against the veranda railing. Brown leaves bobbed up and down on the ash-gray branches. “Thought since you forgot the Christmas tree because of me, I’d get one.” He nodded down at the tree, cautious pride glowing in his eyes.

Oh, Lord. Luke bit back a laugh. Guess we should have told him that Christmas trees are usually pines or firs. She reached out to give him a pat on the shoulder, but when he flinched back, she settled for a nod of appreciation. “Let’s get your tree inside. You’re just in time for presents.”

 

* * *

 

A tug on her sleeve made Luke look away from Phin and Nora, who were trying to find the best place for their Christmas oak.

“Papa.” Nattie pointed to the tree. “That’s not how the Christmas trees look in the pictures.”

“Ssssh.” Luke pressed a finger to her lips. “Phin didn’t know that. You don’t want to hurt his feelings by telling him he brought us the wrong tree, do you?”

Black braids flew when Nattie shook her head. “It’ll be a secret,” she whispered. “Maybe next year, Amy and I can help him pick the right tree.”

Next year. Luke paused but didn’t want to lie. Since she couldn’t tell their daughters the ultimate truth about herself, she’d sworn to at least be truthful about everything else. “Sweetie, Phin won’t be here next year.”

“Why not?”

“Nattie,” Nora called before Luke could answer. “Come help decorate the tree.”

When Nattie hurried off, Luke blew out a breath. Saved again.

Nora walked over and joined her, perching on the edge of Luke’s armchair.

Luke slung one arm around Nora’s hip, holding her safely, and leaned her head against Nora’s.

Together, they watched the girls hang apples and straw stars onto the oak branches. Phin picked up Nattie so that she could place a little doll on top of the tree. When he put Nattie back down, she threw her arms around his waist and hugged him.

He stiffened and stared down at her as if her arms were poisonous snakes slithering up his body, but then he slowly reached out and put his hand on her shoulder.

Nora chuckled. “He reminds me of you.”

“Me?”

“That’s exactly how you looked when Amy hugged you for the first time.” Nora’s grin disappeared, and she looked into Luke’s eyes. “He’s starved for love.”

Luke closed her eyes. She knew what was coming.

“Can’t we take him in and give him a home?”

“Nora.” Luke opened her eyes. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? Surely letting him stay with us would be better than letting him fend for himself.”

The armchair creaked as Luke turned to face Nora. “It would be a big risk for me. One more person around who could find out who and what I really am.”

“You took the same risk when you hired Toby and Hank,” Nora said. She rubbed Luke’s shoulder, tenderly massaging her tense muscles. “What’s this really about?”

Luke squeezed the bridge of her nose while she tried to give voice to her feelings. “Toby and Hank are adults. Phin is still a boy.”

“And?”

“If we take him in, he might look to me as a father figure. A role model. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

Nora slid closer, now almost sitting on Luke’s lap. She frowned down at Luke. “But you’re a wonderful father for Amy and Nattie. You don’t still doubt that, do you?”

“No. But Amy and Nattie are girls. They’ll model themselves after you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Nora laughed. “When I was ten, I didn’t wish for a horse for Christmas. Amy takes after you just as much as she takes after me.”

A smile trembled on Luke’s lips. The thought was as scary as it was elating. “Yes, but still, the girls will learn what it means to be a woman from you.” She lowered her voice to an almost inaudible whisper. “How can I teach Phin how to be a man when I’m ...” Gesturing down her body, she fell silent.

“How about teaching him how to be a decent human being first?”

“Yes, but—”

“Tell me one thing a man could teach him that you can’t,” Nora said, her voice low, but firm.

Luke’s thoughts skipped from idea to idea like a flat stone over the surface of a lake. Riding. Fighting. Gentling a horse. Building a cabin. Shaving. Protecting the weak. Treating women with respect.

She’d done all of that many times.

Surprised, she looked into Nora’s eyes. Could she really do this?

“A boy could have a worse role model,” Nora said. “In fact, I suspect that his father beat him.”

Luke’s stomach clenched at the thought.

“Mama, Papa, look,” Amy shouted from across the parlor. “The tree is ready. Can we open our presents now?”

There, next to Nora’s rolltop desk, stood the merriest oak Luke had ever seen. Its branches hung low with nuts, apples, cookies, straw stars, and colorful ribbons.

“Sometimes,” Nora whispered, “an oak makes the best Christmas tree. And sometimes, a woman makes the best father figure.” She kissed Luke’s temple and walked across the room to help Nattie take her stocking down from the mantle.

Stunned, Luke stayed behind.

Phin wandered over to her, hands stuffed in his pockets. “I better go now. Thanks for the food.”

A squeal from Amy distracted Luke. She looked across the room and saw Amy hold a new wooden horse in her hands. Amy ran her hands over its red-dusted coat.

Luke grinned. Just wait until you find out we’re giving you a real-life horse for Christmas too.

When Luke turned her head back around, the boy was gone.

She jumped up from the armchair, crossed the room in three quick strides, and threw the door open. “Phin!”

He turned on the top step of the veranda.

Luke cleared her throat. “Why don’t you stay?”

“Christmas is for families,” Phin said.

“That’s why we want you to stay.”

Now Phin turned fully and stared at her. “I told you I can take care of myself. I don’t need your pity.”

Tread carefully. Don’t hurt his pride. “I’m not offering pity. I’m offering ...” She hesitated, and then her gaze fell on the bunkhouse. “I’m offering a job.”

“A job?”

“You any good with horses?”

Phin shrugged.

Luke decided to take it as a yes. “Good. Then you’re hired. If you want the job.”

The wooden step creaked as Phin shifted his weight. He met Luke’s gaze, silently probing. Then he nodded. “I want it.”

“Then come on.” Luke held open the door, and she could already feel Nora’s proud gaze rest on her. “I think there’s a stocking in the parlor with your name on it.”

Phin stepped past her, this time not flinching away from her light touch to his shoulder.

For a moment, Luke stayed behind, silently taking in her family gathered around the Christmas oak. Then she grinned and went inside to join them.

 

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