We arrived at the studio, and I hadn’t taken even one bite of rice. I wanted to, but my stomach was on clog-dancing-butterfly mode. Mom agreed that I could go into the studio by myself if I wanted, so I walked into the waiting room and all the adults stared at me. There were two big couches and only three people sitting down, but no one made an effort to move any of their bags and props. Seriously? They were going to hog both couches with their junk? I wasn’t about to ask them to move anything, so I just stood there like an idiot. The production assistant, Jalen, came in and told us what order we’d be going on, which I figured gave me just enough time to fix my hair, get prepared… and quite possibly vomit from stress by the way my stomach was churning. No, no! I was not going to throw up here. There would be no nervous puking today. I would just focus on positive things and ignore the fact my stomach once again felt like the psychotic clog dancing butterflies were back, but this time they brought friends — with football cleats.
A singer named Melvin Bowmers walked into the green room ahead of me.
“No, no. This will not do,” he said.
“I’m sorry, sir. What seems to be the problem?” Jalen asked.
“There’s no separate dressing room for me,” he said.
“Oh, there’s a restroom right there if you need to change.”
Melvin sighed. “Fine, I guess we’re slumming today,” he said. “Get me a water.”
“There might be some in the fridge,” Jalen said, and then he motioned to me where I should stand to do my bumper commercial where I waved in between the show and the next commercial.
“Excuse me! There’s no water in here,” Melvin said.
Jalen raised his eyebrow at me as he explained the fridge wasn’t always stocked. Melvin raised an eyebrow as if he expected Jalen to run across the street and get him some, but Jalen walked out of the room to prep the next guest.
“What am I supposed to do now?” Melvin asked his assistant.
“I thought I packed some—”
“Well, obviously you didn’t.”
“There are paper cups on the vanity,” I said. “You could drink water from the sink.”
Melvin didn’t even look in my direction as he said, “I haven’t had tap water in seventeen years.”
The next guest came into the room then. I recognized her from being on a singing reality show. I couldn’t remember her name, but she had stood out because of her super red hair and tan skin. Up close her hair was the color of fruit punch and her skin was slightly orangey. She gave me a big smile, and her hot pink lips revealed blinding white teeth. She reminded me of one of my old dolls.
“Hi y’all. I’m Kami Rae,” she said.
“And I am your biggest fan,” Melvin said, folding his hands over his heart. “I have been rooting for you your entire career.”
“Oh wow, honest? Thank you,” she said. “That’s so nice to—”
“I cannot wait to see you win the competition. When does the final round air?” he asked.
Now I didn’t even watch the talent program she was on, but even I knew the show had ended well over a month ago and she hadn’t won. Some country singer from Texas had. So it seemed odd that Melvin, Kami Rae’s biggest fan, didn’t know about the hugest event in her life.
“Oh, well, it already aired,” she said.
“And… how did you do?” Melvin asked as he and his assistant leaned forward all eager.
“Well, I got a lot of support from the fans, but I-I came in fourth place,” she said.
Melvin and his assistant’s faces fell. “Well, we were cheering for you all the way.”
I wanted to say, “How were you cheering for her if you didn’t even know the competition was over and done?” But I just sat there. Kami Rae’s face reddened, all embarrassed. I had seen a clip of her singing on the local news.
“You were amazing when you sang that movie theme song,” I said to her.
“Thank you.”
“I did a TV competition, too. I didn’t get as far as you did, but I know how nerve wracking it is,” I said. “You were so confident on stage.”
“Thanks. That means a lot.” She sat next to me and asked me about the show I was on. We sat as she showed me pictures on her phone of her last performance, while Melvin took over the bathroom as his dressing room. I stared at the restroom door and hoped he’d hurry up in there just in case I did have to throw up.
“Kami Rae? We’re ready for you,” Jalen said. She got up and walked out. Jalen poked his head in the room and saw that Melvin and his assistant were in the bathroom getting him into his stage costume.
“Didn’t you think he was already in costume?” Jalen said to me quietly. “I mean, he wears orange leather pants just to arrive someplace?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I thought that was a costume, too.”
“I overheard you suggest he drink tap water. I was dying.”
I started to laugh, but then the bathroom door opened. Jalen winked at me as he walked out. Melvin and his assistant went on set next, and I went to check my makeup in the mirror. Even though I had put on mattifying lotion, oil-control foundation, and tons of powder, my stupid oily skin was shining away like a mirror in the sun. Seriously? How could one person produce so much nasty oil? I was disgusting. Taking a tissue, I blotted my forehead and nose and then pulled out the Little Rose compact in my purse and started to cover up the sheen. Talisa Milan said in a magazine that if you had oily skin you should buy your touch-up powder either in translucent or one shade lighter so it wouldn’t turn you orange. I had gotten the translucent light color, which was a little too pale for school days, but perfect for when I had any modeling stuff where I got nervous and sweated a lot.
I stared at the clock and I had ten minutes until I was on, so I pulled out my phone and took a few selfies in the room. My eyes were shut in the first one, the second one was blurry, and somehow I cut off my own head in the third one. I positioned myself near the mirror so I could see my face, then I took a deep breath, tried to smile naturally, and took the picture. The pic wasn’t bad, but I looked, well, like me. I had been hoping it’d look like a mature, sophisticated model — someone a casting director (or some actor like Bradley McMillian or my favorite soap actor, Colin, from As the Days Roll On) would see on TV and feel the need to meet, but nope, I appeared just like a fourteen-year-old who was terrified and wearing too much lipstick. I sighed and blotted my lips.
“Landry? We’re ready for you,” Jalen said.
I followed him down the hall. He asked if I was nervous and I nodded, afraid to open my mouth and puke everywhere.
“You’ll be fine. Pretend it’s just you and the host having a regular private conversation. All you have to do is focus on Nadia and not worry about anything else, okay?”
Yeah, except for the fact about a million other people would be watching, too. Well, maybe not a million, but all the people who ate breakfast around this time in Grand Rapids anyway. That and my older relatives in Chicago, who my mother told me had somehow, even though they couldn’t download anything to save their lives, now knew how to livestream a talk show in Michigan. Just my luck they’d all get technologically advanced in time to witness my humiliation.
Jalen walked me onto the set, which was way smaller than I imagined. I sat next to the host, Nadia, who was reading some cards.
“Hi,” she said holding out her hand. “Nice to meet you. Okay… American on-jah-new. On-jah-new,” she said. She shrugged. “Sorry. I’ve been struggling with that word all day. Okay, we’re ready.”
The director counted us down, and all of a sudden, Nadia sat straight up like her spine was on fire.
“Welcome back! Today we have local model Landry Albright with us. She was a contestant on the American…” she paused, “Inge—Ingénue contest.”
Somehow seeing Nadia get thrown by how to pronounce the name of the show made me relax.
“Now tell us, Landry, how did you get chosen for the show?”
“I tried out a few months ago when they had auditions at the Perry mall. And then I got called back a few times. I didn’t make it into the final round, but they called me back for the Wild Card round.”
“How exciting. What was it like to get a second chance at this competition?”
My mind went blank. I knew I wasn’t supposed to talk about what happened with sabotage, so I said, “It was an amazing opportunity. I met a lot of great people and got a new hairstyle.”
The crew laughed, which I wasn’t expecting, and I felt kind of stupid. Did I sound like a little kid talking about my hair?
“Well, it looks lovely,” Nadia said with her white teeth gleaming. “Is modeling what you want to do after you graduate?”
“Well, after high school, I plan to go to college, but I’d like to keep modeling, too. And maybe even try acting.”
“Great, great. What do you want to major in when you get to college?”
With the hot lights beating down on me, I couldn’t even think of what people did major in other than what my own parents did and I couldn’t say, “Med school like my dad,” because no one would ever believe me, so I said, “Business, like my mom.” I said, “She’s my role model,” to earn extra brownie points with my mother.
“Oh, that’s so great. So you hope to follow in your mother’s footsteps?”
Um, no — bor-ing! “Well, my favorite Ingénue model, Talisa Milan, studies business so she can learn to read her own contracts and I admire her, so I’d like to be able to do that, too.”
“Talisa is quite the pioneering model, isn’t she?” Nadia said. “Well, thank you so much for coming on today, and we wish you the best of luck.”
“And we’re clear,” a voice boomed out.
Nadia nodded to me. “Good job.”
I got up and walked off the set and realized I had no clue where to go next. Jalen walked me back to the green room and told me I did “Awesome.”
Then he said, “I’ll go get your mom from the set.”
From the what? Then I saw her — my mother walking from the direction of the set.
“Hi, hon,” she said. “You did so well.”
“You weren’t — you didn’t—”
“Well, they weren’t sure about you being alone, you know, the fact you are a minor, so they let me come and be on set. I hid behind a camera so I wouldn’t make you nervous.”
Ugh! My mommy had to be on set? How embarrassing!
“Now before you get all upset, just remember that model Melani Parkington’s mother goes with her on shoots all the time,” she said.
“That’s because her mother is her manager.”
“Hey, now there’s an idea — kidding! Come on, let’s go get breakfast, and I’ll take you back to school.”
“Can we go to a restaurant?”
“No time. The school allowed you an hour and a half as a favor, so we only have about a half hour left. I’ll get you a fast food breakfast sandwich and you can eat and change in the car.”
How glamourous. I’m sure Talisa ate breakfast burritos and changed into navy blue school pants in the back of her mommy’s car, too. Why was my life so lame? I mean, I was just on TV, shouldn’t I at least get, like, a pretty salad and some water in a fancy glass with a slice of lemon in it? Not a paper cup of orange juice with a clown on the front.
“You did so well today. I was proud,” Mom said.
“Did you catch the role model part?” I asked.
“Yes, you are a convincing little liar,” she said laughing. “You might have a career in acting after all.”
I made a face.
“What? Oh, come on. I’m your mother. I could tell business school just popped into your head and you added that last part to sell it.”
“Well, the part about me thinking it was cool that Talisa was majoring in it was true,” I said.
“Yes, but you hate math with a passion, so I can’t see you pursuing it. Trust me, if I thought there was a chance, I’d be the first one doing cartwheels.”
“Okay, fine. I didn’t know what else to say other than that or med school, and nobody would have bought that.”
“Whoo boy, no, they wouldn’t. You begged me to write your science teacher a note saying our religion forbids you from dissecting animals.”
“Well, that’s just gross and cruel to cut up a little animal.”
“Agreed. I think you’ll probably end up as an English major or in journalism.”
I shrugged because I was planning on becoming a famous model/actress/writer and just going to college to help… what was it Melani always said? “Help me to learn my acting craft or something?” Besides, there was a chance I’d become so famous that all the best acting programs would be begging me to apply there. Or I’d get so many movie roles that I wouldn’t have time for college. But no, my mom would lock me in my room if I didn’t attend a university. She and my dad were pretty clear on that. Oh well. Fame and fortune would just have to wait until after I got my degree.