Not so fond of the name your parents gave you? You can always pull a Chad Ochocinco like these folks.
1 Schoolteacher Feels the Force
When Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace hit theaters in 1999, one North Carolina woman managed to cash in on the hysteria. Sixth-grade teacher Jennifer Briggs heard a radio promotion that offered $1,000 to anyone who legally changed his or her name to Obi-Wan Kenobi in honor of the film’s Jedi master. Briggs took the bait and became Obi-Wan Kenobi Briggs. Given her job, it might have been a brilliant decision; what sixth grader wouldn’t listen to Obi-Wan?
On the 2001 New Zealand census, 53,715 people listed their religion as “Jedi.”
2 Attempted Name Change Gets Dogged
In 2010 Pennsylvanian Gary Guy Mathews attempted to legally change his name to Boomer the Dog. Mathews enjoyed dressing as a dog and took the name from the short-lived 1980s NBC series Here’s Boomer. According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Mathews was so serious about changing his name he even removed his dog collar for his day in court.
A Pittsburgh judge didn’t think the name change was such a great idea, though. Judge Ronald W. Folino denied Mathews’ petition on the logic that having a man named Boomer the Dog could lead to serious confusion. In his ruling, Folino noted that if Boomer the Dog had to call 911 in an emergency and identify himself, there was a decent chance the dispatcher would think it was a prank call.
3 Inventor Embraces His Inner Pronoun
Branson, Mo., inventor Andrew Wilson successfully changed his name to They in 2004. Just “They,” no surname. The newly minted They admitted to the Associated Press that the name was a bit of a joke on people’s tendency to refer to an abstract “they” in conversation. “‘They do this,’ or ‘They’re to blame for that.’ Who is this ‘they’ everyone talks about? ‘They’ accomplish such great things. Somebody had to take responsibility,” They said.
4 New Name Transforms Man
When Ohio’s Scott Nall turned 30, he decided he was tired of being Scott Nall. As a birthday present to himself, he legally changed his name to Optimus Prime, the lead protagonist of the Transformers line of toys and movies. Optimus the guy had more than a little in common with Optimus the brave robot, too; he has served as a firefighter in Iraq.
5 Ukrainian Politician Chooses Default Name
In 2009 Ukrainian pensioner Vasyl Humeniuk decided he’d had enough of his country’s politicians, so he changed his name to Vasyl Protyvsikh. (For the few readers who don’t speak Ukrainian, the new surname translates into “Against-Everyone” or “None of the Above.”) Protyvsikh then announced that he was entering the country’s upcoming presidential election.
Offering voters a chance to cast a ballot for “None of the Above” is an inspired political ploy, but it didn’t work out so well for Protyvsikh. He failed to pick up even one percent of his country’s votes.
“Velcro” is a combination of the words “velvet” and “crochet,” the French word for “hook.”