Dressed in faded jeans, an old work jacket and leather gloves to protect her hands, Toni felt as unfashionable as possible as she climbed aboard one of the new ATVs Wyatt had bought. She hadn’t ridden one of these since high school, and she was sure it would feel odd to go tearing up the hill to the small mesa on the Brody ranch.
Wyatt and James had taken a steep route and made it near the top. Sandy had stayed lower. Toni was taking another route, also not as steep.
Limestone shards and fossils decorated the clay soil of the entire hill. While some stunted mesquite trees grew near the base, only a few bushes and some prickly pear cactus hung on the slopes. A few larger rocks poked through the dirt.
“I’m not going very far up,” she told the group. “Don’t try to goad me into more.”
“You do whatever you want,” James said.
“It’s fun, but I didn’t go too high, either,” Sandy added.
“Come on, babe,” Wyatt said near her ear. “Go for it.”
She frowned at him. “Easy for you to say. You’re an adventurer. The most exciting thing I do in a normal week is tear out drywall.”
“Here’s your chance, then. It’s safer than skydiving or windsurfing.”
“Two other activities I’m not trying.”
Wyatt laughed. “Okay, I get the picture. Wussy girl.”
She pointed her finger at him. “Don’t start on me, Wild Wyatt McCall. I know your reputation.”
They all laughed. The bantering reminded Toni of when she, Wyatt and James had been in high school. He’d been so polite and gentlemanly lately that he had hardly seemed like the old Wyatt. This was what she remembered…and loved.
Toni pulled down her safety goggles, shimmied on the seat until she felt she was in the right position, eased off the brakes and turned up the throttle. The vehicle took off, so she rolled back the gas a little, then surged forward again at a better rate. There, much smoother. She started going up the hill, which seemed steeper than when she’d looked at it from below. Rocks and pebbles flew from the rear tires. She heard the machine scrambling for purchase on the shifting soil and turned the wheel slightly for a better angle.
“That’s it, babe! Go for it!” she heard Wyatt yell from below.
She felt an exhilarating lift when she realized she was gaining ground. The slope’s angle changed, and she gave the ATV more gas. It leaped forward about the same time the front wheel hit a large rock that was partially covered in limestone shale. Rocks flew everywhere and the wheel started to slip. Toni tried to compensate, but she couldn’t get it straight. The wheels continued to spin, propelling her sideways.
“Toni, use the front brakes,” she heard Wyatt yell. “Don’t let it flip!”
She couldn’t get the ATV straight; she could only fall sideways. The last thing she saw before the bike went out from under her was a prickly pear bush in her downward path, and the last thing she did was try to jump clear of the needles. This is going to hurt, she told herself as she hit the ground and rolled. And rolled.
“I’M FINE,” TONI SAID, swatting away the nurse’s hand as she dabbed at a cut on her knee. Her ripped jeans had been cut away and thrown on the floor in the corner. They were spotted with blood. Every time Wyatt saw them, he nearly lost his lunch.
Toni sat on an exam table in the emergency room. She wore a pale blue printed hospital gown and an irritated expression. Her left wrist was covered in a brace, since it was sprained. She’d been given a painkiller, so Wyatt knew she wasn’t suffering a great deal from her injuries, but she would as soon as the drug wore off. She’d feel terrible, and it was all his fault.
He shouldn’t have insisted they ride the ATVs. Hell, he probably shouldn’t have bought them. He definitely shouldn’t have teased her into trying to make it up the mesa. He’d been irresponsible, as usual, and now Toni, the one woman he couldn’t stand to see suffer, was covered with cuts and bruises. Not to mention regret and probably anger.
“I’m so sorry,” he said when the nurse quit dabbing Toni’s scrapes and left. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me. I fell off the ATV.”
“It’s my fault,” he said. “It was my gift, my idea. Now you’re all banged up and you’re supposed to be at a Christmas party tonight.”
“Oh, well. This will give me an excuse to get out of going to the Russells’ Christmas party,” she said with a breezy wave of her good hand.
“You could have been hurt far worse.”
“Yeah, but I’m tough.”
She’s loopy, he thought as he watched her unfocused brown eyes, bright cheeks and restless movements. She doesn’t realize the danger she was in.
When he’d realized she was sliding off the ATV, then going over, he’d run, his heart nearly ready to explode. When she’d started up that hill, he’d urged her on, told her to go for it.
Called her a wussy girl. And here she was in a hospital gown, battered and bruised, her wrist sprained.
“You could have died,” he said softly.
“Oh, don’t be silly. I’ve fallen off ladders and through sub-floors before. I’ve never died.”
Sandy Brody stepped forward. “Wyatt, she’ll be okay. Don’t beat yourself up.”
He shook his head. “It’s my fault. She knows what a daredevil I was. I am. She was trying to keep up, trying to show me she’s tough. I know she’s tough.”
“Hey, where’s my juice?” Toni called out, her words slightly slurred.
Sandy found the cup of juice and held the straw up to Toni’s lips. Her beautiful lips, which Wyatt had kissed in the early morning hours at the bed-and-breakfast, the sun filtering through the lacy curtains. She’d looked so peaceful and happy lying in the canopy bed, her pale skin unblemished and luminous.
He’d planned something far different for this afternoon, but then he’d gotten the phone call from James and all he’d thought about was how much fun it would be to go ride the ATVs on the ranch, just like old times.
He was an irresponsible fool. Risking his own life was one thing, but putting Toni in jeopardy was inexcusable. Unforgivable.
The doctor came into the room.
“Hiya, Doc,” Toni said with a grin.
“Someone is enjoying her meds,” the doctor said, taking a look at Toni’s pupils. “I won’t even ask you how you’re feeling, because you probably don’t know.”
She waved her good arm again. “I’m fine. I keep telling him—” she pointed at Wyatt “—that I’m fine, but he won’t believe me. Tell him, Doc.”
“She needs bed rest until the hydrocodone wears off. Some people have this reaction. She should be fine in four or five hours. After that, I’ll give you a prescription for Tylenol. She shouldn’t have such a reaction to that.”
“This stuff is good,” Toni said. “Where’s my juice?”
“Are you her husband?” the doctor asked.
“No.” Wyatt took a small step back. “No.” I’m the jerk who caused the accident. “We’ve been…dating.”
“What’s that mean?” Toni said. “We’re dating now. This was a date, wasn’t it?” She grabbed the doctor’s sleeve and tugged. “We went to Granbury last night and stayed at a bed-and-breakfast. We had a really good time,” Toni said with a wink.
“Okay, too much information,” Sandy said, handing Toni the cup of juice again. “Here, sip.”
Wyatt felt his head ready to explode. This wasn’t happening. Toni wasn’t injured and she wasn’t loopy and telling the doctor that they’d done the wild thing at a B and B. That feeling came over him, the one where he had to do something or else. Itchy. He had the urge to run.
“I’ll give some general instructions,” he heard the doctor say to Sandy. “She has a slight concussion, so she’ll have a headache. Keep her awake until tonight. She’ll be sore after the painkiller wears off, but she’ll be fine in a few days.”
This time, Wyatt thought. What about next time? The next time he did something stupid?
“You behave yourself, young lady,” the doctor told Toni, and Wyatt wondered why the doctor wasn’t scolding him to behave himself. He was the one who’d screwed up. The doctor left to the sound of Toni’s giggles.
I can’t stay here, Wyatt thought. “James, can you and Sandy take Toni home? No, not home. To her parents’ house. Take her there. They’ll take care of her.”
“Where are you going?”
“I…I have to leave. Something’s come up.” He’d driven Toni to the hospital in Graham in his rented SUV, and James and Sandy had followed in James’s car. Fortunately, not Sandy’s little sports car. “Would you please have someone pack up my things and send them later? Um, check all the drawers. I’ll pay, of course.”
“Where are you going?” Toni asked, her voice revealing disbelief and hurt. “Can I go, too?”
Wyatt forced himself to step to the exam table and take her one good hand in his. He looked into her wide, slightly unfocused eyes. “I have to go, babe. I’m not good for you. I…I screwed up. I hurt you.”
“No! You keep saying that. I was just rusty. Come on, we’ll try it again! I’ll bet I can make it up the hill this time. I’m not a wussy girl,” she said, giggling.
Wyatt felt his skin shrinking, his head expanding. “No, Toni, you can’t. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m so sorry. I have to go, okay? Please, don’t be mad at me. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“It’s okay, Wyatt. Don’t be sad,” Toni said, squeezing his hand.
“You…You do what the doctor says, okay? You follow those directions and get better soon.”
“Wyatt,” she said, but he started to pull away. He had to leave. Now. He didn’t want to shake off her grip. He just wanted to go away.
“Hey, Toni, how about some more juice,” Sandy said, stepping between them, giving Wyatt a look that said she was disgusted with him. Toni finally let go of his hand.
The last thing he saw as he paused in the doorway was Toni’s sad eyes, looking over Sandy’s shoulder, silently asking him why he was leaving.
It’s for your own good, babe. He walked as quickly as possible to the SUV and headed for the airport.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE HE’S GONE,” Toni whispered as she stood in the doorway of the honeymoon suite of the Sweet Dreams Motel. The bed was made, the white Christmas tree’s tiny lights blinked merrily from the dresser and a basket of baked goods sat on the cabinet that held a small refrigerator and microwave. His personal items were on the dresser, the nightstand, the bathroom countertop, as if he might return any moment.
Oh, God. Had he put away the condoms? Did everyone know that she and Wyatt had been here in his room, making love?
“He must have had an emergency,” Christie said, pocketing the master keys.
“Something like that.” Emergency-room panic attack. Emergency itchiness. Whatever you called it, he was gone. He’d taken the easy way out three days ago.
Toni had waited for him to return. To call. Long after the painkiller had worn off, she’d felt numb. Her injuries were healing, but her heart was broken. Again. When she’d realized what had happened, what Wyatt had done and why, the feelings had come back in a rush.
He’d left her again. This time out of guilt. Before, out of fear. Fear that he wasn’t able to commit, that he wasn’t “husband material.”
“Um, do you want some time alone?”
“I guess so.”
“If you’d rather not, I’ll have the manager pack up his things. You don’t have to—”
“No, I want to. He left because of me and I need to do this.” She did. That didn’t mean it would be easy.
“Don’t try to lift anything with your wrist,” Christie reminded her, pointing at her brace.
“I won’t. I’ll roll the suitcase, and I’ll let you help me into the car with it.”
“Okay, then. Just let me know when you’re finished.” Christie left. Toni imagined that her friend and business partner understood, or at least suspected, far more than she’d ever reveal about Toni’s relationship with Wyatt.
With a sigh, Toni walked to the open closet and retrieved the suitcase. Wyatt had obviously unpacked everything, which meant all his personal items were in the drawers. She had a lot of packing to do.
Touching his things was harder than she’d imagined. She remembered so much. He’d worn the cable-knit fisherman’s sweater when he’d come to the office the day after the stagecoach abduction. She found the jeans he’d worn on their first real date, the cowboy boots he favored and the bandanna he’d used as a disguise the night he returned.
She folded each item and placed them all in his suitcase. She then went into the bathroom and packed his toiletries into a leather kit that, thankfully, concealed the condoms they hadn’t used the other night. She found his shampoo and shaving cream, even his deodorant and toothpaste. Unscrewing the lid of his aftershave, she took a sniff and remembered how he smelled when she buried her head in the crook of his neck.
“God, this is hard,” she said, clutching the bottle to her chest. She wanted him here, where they could hash out all their problems. Work through their issues. Make a decision together about whether she’d run for mayor again or where they might live if their relationship continued. Decide on a vacation spot they could visit together, someplace that wasn’t too adventurous but would be interesting for both of them.
Surely they could compromise. Surely they could solve any problems if they just tried. But, no, he’d run instead of trying. He didn’t have the guts to face her.
Why was he like this? She didn’t know, and damn it, she couldn’t very well ask him when he was all the way out on the West Coast, sitting in his big house with his cat and his housekeeper and his infinity pool overlooking the Pacific Ocean.
She knew he was there because she’d called Cassie to ask where to send his personal items.
By the time she got to the nightstand, she was so angry that she was stuffing things into his suitcase as quickly as possible.
The only item in the nightstand drawer was an unmistakable square blue box. Was it even his? What was this Tiffany box doing in Wyatt’s room? But then she remembered he’d gone Christmas shopping one day. Maybe he’d bought this for his mother. Maybe he’d ordered it for her.
She was just about to put it in the suitcase when she remembered that you weren’t supposed to pack expensive items, because sometimes the bags had to be inspected and—rarely—an unscrupulous baggage handler took things out of luggage. She’d lost a camera once that way.
Just a peek. She’d see what Wyatt had bought at Tiffany for someone, probably his mother, for Christmas. She opened the outside box, then the inside lid. A ring. Her heart began to beat fast. An engagement ring.
A huge diamond engagement ring. “Oh my God,” Toni whispered. What was this? Was it what she thought? No, she shouldn’t think that. She lifted the ring from its white velvet cushion and held it to the light. The diamond absolutely glowed. The facets created dozens of tiny rainbows. The setting was so beautiful it took her breath away.
As she tilted it back and forth to catch the light, she noticed the engraving on the inside. Feeling like a complete voyeur, she pulled it closer and read aloud, “‘Toni, only 15 years late. Love, Wyatt.’”
Tears filled her eyes. “Damn you, Wyatt McCall. How dare you buy me this ring and run off to California?”
WYATT PUT HIS FEET UP ON THE end table, leaning back in the chair and watching the sun set from his balcony. Tiger sat on the wide arm, letting Wyatt stroke his back and giving him a rough purr as if he were bestowing a gift on humanity.
Below, the surf beat against the shore and the waves were tipped with pink. High clouds coming in from the northwest streaked the sky with purple, coral and yellow. This was one of those picture-perfect California days, but he didn’t feel the joy or the peace. He didn’t feel the Christmas spirit, not like he’d experienced it in Brody’s Crossing.
He felt empty. Sometimes, when he had time to think, he wondered what had come over him when he’d looked at Toni in the emergency room. But then he remembered. He wasn’t good for her. He’d been on his best behavior for several days and they’d had good dates. She’d even come to his room. Then he’d jumped at the chance to ride ATVs when he should have been proposing. When he’d finally decided he could take the plunge and get married, because that was the only way he could have Toni in his life forever.
And instead of getting a ring, she’d gotten a concussion, a sprained wrist, a dozen bruises and cuts. His heart had just about stopped when he’d seen her come off that seat, when she’d hit the rocks and rolled lifelessly down the hill.
He put a hand over his eyes and tried to rub away the image of Toni holding her wrist as he drove her to the emergency room in Graham. She’d told him even before the painkiller that she didn’t blame him, that she wasn’t mad at him, but she was far too forgiving. He’d screwed up and she’d see that sooner or later.
“Mr. McCall? You have a visitor,” Mrs. Nakimoto said from the door to the balcony.
“A visitor? Not Brian or Cassie?”
“No. A lady. She said she must see you now.”
“Is she waving a gun or a machete?”
“No, sir. She is a pretty lady, but not dressed as your other ladies dress. And she has a suitcase.”
A suitcase. Surely…No, everyone traveled with a suitcase. That just meant this lady was not from around here.
“Okay, I’ll come inside.” The sun was almost set anyway. Darkness descended slowly, even on these shorter days. “Come on, Tiger,” he said as he pushed out of the chair.
His cat hissed at him and twitched his tail. “Or stay here,” Wyatt muttered.
He entered the clean, open living area of his house. Mrs. Nakimoto had not turned on many lights, knowing he didn’t like a blazing-white interior, especially while the sun was still setting. He didn’t see anyone at first, then he heard the whish-whish-bump of suitcase wheels across the big tiles.
She came into view. Toni, dressed in jeans and a loose cardigan sweater over a T-shirt, with sneakers on her feet. Her hair appeared slightly disheveled or windblown. And she was pulling his suitcase.
“When I asked someone to pack up my things, I didn’t mean I expected them to be delivered personally,” he said, walking toward her. His heart raced and he focused every bit of energy on remaining calm. Detached. “What the hell are you doing here? You should be home resting.”
“I’m fine, you big jerk,” she said angrily, coming to a stop. “I maxed out my credit card with a last-minute ticket purchase. I just spent all day at the airport and on a plane, much of that time sitting on the ground waiting to take off, to bring you this suitcase—” she fished around in her sweater pocket “—and this.”
She smacked the blue box into his chest. Oh, yeah. That. What did you say to the woman you’d jilted twice? To the woman who had obviously read the engraving on the ring he’d hoped she’d wear forever?
“Well, do you have anything to say?”
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Did you mean it? That you loved me? That you were intending to ask me to marry you?”
“Yeah, I did.” Last week. A lifetime ago. “Before I screwed up.”
“Screwed up by leaving Brody’s Crossing?”
“No! Screwed up by getting you on that ATV and then taunting you into riding up that hill. You say you weren’t seriously hurt, but the point is you could have been, and I would have been responsible.”
“Do you honestly think that I’m so feebleminded that I make decisions based solely on whether you taunt me or not? How dare you imply that I’m that stupid!” She clenched her hands into fists and started pacing. “I’m not some weak-minded fool, Wyatt. Believe it or not, I make decisions every day without your input, and if you gave me advice on my business and I didn’t agree with you, I’d tell you so and ignore it.”
“This is different. You told me once that you couldn’t think when I was around, or something like that.”
“I wasn’t talking about when you were around me like in public or the same county! I meant…intimate. You know what I mean,” she said, waving her arms, then immediately winced.
“Please, don’t hurt yourself.”
“It was my choice to do something stupid, Wyatt.”
“It’s still my fault. We shouldn’t have gone riding. I was going to propose to you that night, when we got back from Granbury. I had it planned. Nothing spectacular, because I was trying to be ordinary. Just a nice dinner and the ring. But, no, I had to jump at the chance to go ride ATVs with James. What does that tell you about me?”
“That you were practicing avoidance, the desire to put off what we aren’t comfortable doing. That’s all that means.”
He felt stunned. She was turning everything around, making it seem simple when it wasn’t. He’d put her in danger because he…Why? Had he ever thought about the danger? No, he’d only thought about the fun.
Because it was easier to have fun than to make permanent commitments.
He looked down at the ring box. When he’d chosen ATV riding over proposing, he’d been thinking only of himself. Selfish, just as he’d accused his mother of being selfish. She drank. He had adventures. Both were unfulfilling. Both were self-centered.
Why had he never seen that before?
“Okay, you figure this out,” Toni said, standing maybe five feet away. “I don’t know how we would have made everything work. You live here, I live there. You like to travel, I have responsibilities. I love my family, and you barely tolerate yours. But I do know that I love you, Wyatt McCall, and if you come to your senses you know where I’ll be.”
She started for the door.
“No, Toni, wait!”