The day unfurled in a whirl of games, laughter, and reading from the safety of their couch in front of the fire. At noon I called Maverick and told him the sordid details of what had happened, but only after I secured his agreement not to tell Bethany yet. With every word, I felt a little better. More firmly rooted in reality.
For me, the quiet day was almost perfect. Mark paced the attic and popped in and out. JJ inventoried his climbing gear and muttered to himself.
Time with the Bailey brothers hadn’t been what I’d expected. JJ had a restless energy of his own, different from Mark’s. He seemed . . . bored. Uncertain. Mark was exactly like I thought he’d be, but kinder.
In the depths of my heart, I couldn’t believe I’d spent the day with them. My mind couldn’t seem to wrap around it.
It was too distracted by JJ’s sincere smile.
Part of me never wanted to leave. Another part couldn’t wait to go. Real life awaited. The more I lingered here, the closer I felt to JJ.
Sweet baby pineapple, but this whole living-a-romance-plot was not what I’d hoped. The books made this all so romantic. So simple. Instead, I felt stressed out by the fact that I’d almost died and annoyed that I couldn’t stop looking at JJ.
At 9:00 the next morning, my breath puffed out in front of me as JJ led me to the Zombie Mobile. The truck rumbled to life with Mark in the driver’s seat, and the tailpipe belched black smoke. Three feet of snow ringed us on either side of the pathway Mark had cleared. The banks glittered in the bitter-cold sunshine.
JJ wore no coat, just a simple jacket that zipped all the way up. A hat covered his head and pushed his long hair onto his neck. I wanted to run my fingers through it. Although I was eager to prepare Bethany’s house for their return, I wished I could stay and observe more.
What was JJ hiding?
What had really made him look so cornered during our conversation yesterday?
Someone had broken his heart, and I wanted to know how. Likely he thought me a romantic fool for believing in love like I did. He wasn’t the only one. Others had certainly told me as much. I always ignored them easily, but something about the wariness in his gaze wouldn’t leave me.
JJ faced me with a smile. “Thanks for the company, Lizbeth. It’d be great if you could be here every time we were snowed in.”
“Thank you,” I said with a laugh, and cleared my throat. “I mean . . . for everything.”
The first hint of a rueful smile crossed his lips. “Anytime.”
“Listen, I—”
“I’ll see you in town?” he said at the same time.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Yeah, of course.”
“Did you have something else you were about to say?”
Just don’t stop being my friend? I thought. Never cut your hair? Sweep me off my feet?
“No.” I shook my head and cursed my awkwardness. “Nothing.”
Mark banged a hand on the roof of the Zombie Mobile. “Regulators!” he shouted. “Mount up.”
JJ grinned. “You’ll win bonus points with Mark if you rap the rest of that song on the way into town.”
My lips twitched. “I happen to know it. Come in for free green tea anytime. On the house.”
His half grin broke into a true smile that melted my heart. If he looked at me like that every day, I’d never get anything done. Pinnable would be forgotten. My romance books would burn to ash in my hands. The world would fall apart. I could stare into those warm eyes for the rest of eternity.
So that feeling in the books wasn’t a lie.
My parting words failed halfway out of my mouth, landing in my lap in a garbled heap. His brow lifted in silent question as I stood there, half-gaping at him. A thousand words whipped through my mind, but I couldn’t bring myself to say any of them.
Will I see you again soon?
Do you think I’m crazy because I love romance?
“Bye, JJ.”
My insides turned to mush when he yanked open the ancient truck door. Although I could have stared at his jawline all day, I felt a modicum of relief that I could leave the pressure of being around him. It had been years since I’d crushed on anyone this hard.
An almost-romance was exhausting.
As I turned to go, I hoped for a classic romantic ending to this highly romantic situation. A hand on my wrist, maybe. He’d stop me. Nervously lick his lips, then ask me to stay. Maybe laugh about his brashness and say it’s just not like him to ask that. Or tell me he’d never opened up like that before, and he felt something. Wanted to see what would happen if we indulged in it.
But no touch on my wrist followed.
Instead, I climbed into the ancient truck that groaned under even my paltry weight. Out of sheer pride, I refused to look back. He called out a cheery farewell. I thought I saw him wave from the corner of my eye as I managed a blind wave back.
I didn’t want to see him standing there in the winter brilliance, as far from me as any person had ever been.
“Don’t let him scare you off. He’s a total teddy bear.”
Mark made that announcement as he plowed a narrow path down the road. Snow scraped the side with an intense grating sound. I held onto a bar above my head as we bounced along, and thanked the goddess of winter storms that JJ, rather than Mark, had found me.
“Wh-what do you mean?” I called.
“JJ.” Mark glanced at me for a second. “He’s like a freaking acorn. Hard as hell on the outside, but the goodness is really inside.”
Awful metaphor aside, he couldn’t be more wrong.
“JJ is the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. He’s not hard on the outside.”
“Sure. Unless you’re interested in him, like you are. Then he’s a nightmare.”
Mark chuckled when my eyes widened, then he downshifted and shaved off a healthy chunk of snow as we turned a sharp corner. The back wheels slid into a snowbank, and the entire truck shuddered. Although I braced myself for the inevitable crunch of whipping into the bank, it never came. The reliable old monster just kept eating up the snowy road.
“Who said I’m interested?” I managed to choke out.
Mark scoffed. “Right, Lizbeth. As if your entire heart isn’t written on your face. You’ve always crushed on him. You light up like a Christmas tree when he walks into the Frolicking Moose.”
I scowled. He laughed. I folded my arms over my chest, and my cheeks flared with heat. This situation had always been way funnier in the books. Novels never emphasized the pure mortification of being read so easily.
Of course, I could deny it, but what was the point? Mark already knew. And if he’d seen it, JJ might know. That explained his very normal goodbye. Maybe he’d intentionally interrupted me earlier and made it look like an accident.
Friend-zoned.
“Well,” Mark called over the rumble of the truck. “At least you aren’t denying it.”
“No. I’m not going to deny it. JJ is . . . special.”
“You’re in good company. Women flock to him. It’s the most aggravating thing. He’s got those great eyelashes, the sexy hair. Then women talk to him and he’s gentle, cares about animals and people’s emotions, then, bam! Walks away, leaving broken hearts in his wake.”
“Why?” I asked, shivering and pulling my sweater tighter around me. The Zombie Mobile wasn’t any better at producing heat today.
Mark shrugged. “To be fair, he doesn’t do it on purpose.”
“Doesn’t he want a relationship?”
“Nope.”
“Who broke his heart?”
Mark chuckled as he downshifted. The bridge loomed ahead. Flashbacks of two nights ago raced through my mind. I dug my fingers into the seat.
“He broke his own heart. Kind of. JJ used to be a wild romantic. Flowers. True love. Sparkle lights, or whatever that crap is.”
My heart thudded as we rattled over the old bridge, but it had nothing to do with the river frothing below. Sparkle lights? I wanted to say. Are you five? It’s twinkle.
“You’re lying,” I said.
“I swear it.”
“What happened?”
“Not my story to tell. Romance? Dating? That stuff just doesn’t reach him anymore.”
“Then what does?”
“Climbing.”
Mark’s enthusiasm for the topic would be borderline comical if my heart wasn’t the punchline. My nose wrinkled as I comprehended his subtext. Mark was warning me.
“Thanks,” I said.
I startled him by meaning it. He glanced at me twice for only quick flashes, keeping his attention on the road.
“Sure.”
“Think he noticed?” I looked out the window as he pulled onto the canyon road.
“No.” He blew a bubble with his gum. “Your secret is safe with me.”
I groaned. A satisfied grin overtook his face.
Well, what a great plot twist that made.
Didn’t matter, anyway. JJ wasn’t the picket-fence type. He was almost a decade older than me and wanted to branch out to grasp at the unlimited freedom of untethered bachelorhood. Live life on his own terms. At least, that’s how it had sounded.
We fell into silence for the rest of the trip back to the Frolicking Moose.