“HEY. ARE YOU listening to me?”
Jared nodded quickly at the attractive woman sitting across from him. They occupied a narrow wooden booth in a honky-tonk on the outskirts of Carbondale. The dive reeked of spilled beer, burnt popcorn and stale body odor from the herd of cowboys who’d stampeded in for tonight’s ninety-nine-cent wing special and the latest Diamondbacks game. Wall-mounted speakers blasted a thumping Tim McGraw tune he recognized. “A Real Good Man.” A crowd of line dancers dipped, clapped and twirled on the scuffed wooden dance floor.
His stomach twisted. He’d been anything but a good man to Amberley today. And nowhere near a good friend.
“Jared!” Long, glitter-tipped nails drummed on the tabletop.
“Yep. Sorry.” His eyes drifted over the petite blonde whose electric blue eye shadow matched her camisole top and the floral clip in her hair. She’d sure gone to a lot of trouble for their first date, and she deserved a better time than he was showing her. He’d been looking forward to tonight, right up until the unforgettable kiss with Amberley that’d left him staggering and off balance all day.
Why had he done such a fool thing?
And why couldn’t he stop thinking about it?
She’d felt right in his arms, her mouth beneath his sweet and incredibly tender.
“Yes, what?” his date demanded.
Now, what was her name...? He’d been in a fog since leaving Spirit Ranch and forgot to double-check with Jewel.
“Sorry, Lori. I—”
Penciled brows met over her short, flat nose. “It’s Layah.”
“Well, that’s a real pretty name. Just like you,” he said sincerely, ducking his head and smiling at her from beneath the brim of his hat. His friends called it his lady-killer smile, though Jewel told him serial killer was more like it.
A preen replaced Layah’s pout. “Why, thank you. You see, my grandma’s name is Leigh and my pa is a big Star Wars fan so—”
The woman’s voice drifted as his mind replayed earlier events. Seeing Amberley struggle in the ring today nearly broke his heart and then, when he’d found her crying—crying, when, he’d never so much as heard her sniffle in all their years as friends—the effect devastated him. For the first time in his life, he’d felt helpless. He needed to dry her tears, heal her wounds, stop her pain. He’d swept her into his arms before he thought twice about it. In an instant, she’d become someone else, a stranger, a warm, beautiful vulnerable stranger that his heart responded to in an altogether different way.
He relived the feel of her in his arms nonstop. The unguarded expression on her face had done something crazy to his heart, like nearly stopping it altogether.
“So when my ma went into labor during Return of the Jedi, well my pa said they couldn’t just leave—”
Jared nodded and smiled along to Layah’s harmless prattle, trying hard, but failing to focus. Amberley’s accusation echoed in his head.
“You felt sorry for me!”
No denying, he had pitied her, the last thing in the world a gal like Amberley ever wanted or deserved. He’d be lying to himself, though, if he blamed sympathy for his passionate response.
No woman ever affected him that way, and it blew his mind that Amberley, his best friend, had done him in. The way she’d responded had made him lose his head and nearly his control. Electric. Passionate. Unbridled. It’d been like holding on to a rocket ship that’d lit out for the moon.
And he hadn’t wanted to let go.
“The contractions started coming fast when the Emperor—” Layah paused to sip the last of her beer “—when the Emperor shot Luke with those laser fingers. Never could figure out why he could do that since Jedi used light sabers.”
Jared caught their waitress’s eye and crooked a finger, signaling for another round. “He was a Sith.”
Layah’s navy-coated lashes blinked at him. “A what?”
“He was a Sith Lord.”
“Huh.” Layah lifted the edge of her empty bottle’s label with a fingernail and shrugged. “Anyways, the usher told my parents—”
Jared grabbed his bottle and gulped the rich local brew, his eyes peeled on Layah’s fast-moving mouth, his thoughts adrift despite his best efforts.
Could he have feelings—romantic ones—for his longtime friend? Impossible. Amberley was a pal. A rough-and-tumble gal far different from the girlie-girls he dated, like Layah. In fact, strange as it sounded, he’d never thought of Amberley being a woman much, given she gave as good as she got whenever they’d competed, raced motorcycles, camped, fished and ridden the range.
Yet that kiss had ripped off his blinders. Would he ever see Amberley the same way again? Could he forget the responsive woman who’d driven him senseless and transfixed his heart?
She’d been right to send him packing. Crossing the line didn’t come close to describing the wrong he’d done to her...done to both of them. The kiss tested their friendship’s bond, but would not break it, he vowed. From here on out, he’d keep his distance, romantically.
He wouldn’t stop helping Amberley, however. He’d find another way was all. She’d looked good up on Harley, and come hell or high water he’d get her back in the saddle and out into the world. Life was a dimmer place without her in it.
He needed to apologize for starters. Then he’d present her with a new plan of action, a grand gesture that’d convince her to give him—and herself—another chance.
“So, they stuck me in the popcorn maker to keep me warm until the ambulance arrived,” Layah finished with a flourish. She beamed a bright smile at their returning waitress and accepted her new beer.
“The popcorn maker?” he echoed after their server whisked away their empties.
“Mmm-hmm,” Layah murmured, the bottle to her mouth.
He stared at her for a minute, and then she lowered her drink and burst out laughing. “I got you!”
“Was any of that story true?”
Her left eyebrow twitched. “My dad is a Star Wars fan.”
“I’m sorry.” He reached across the table and took her hand in his. Her fingernails scratched against his palm. “Guess I’m not at my best tonight.”
The tip of her tongue appeared between her teeth as she regarded him. “Even halfway for you is still awesome.”
“Now you’re being too easy on me.”
“Probably.” She giggled. “But you’re worth it.”
And that was the problem, he thought, staring into Layah’s twinkling, iridescent coated eyes. Things came too easily for him. Somehow that didn’t set so well anymore after watching Amberley and the kids at the program battle their challenges. Despite their hardships, they fought on. That seemed more heroic than his life, no matter his achievements.
If he didn’t work hard for his blessings, did he deserve them as much as they did?
Amberley was correct to call him out for quitting football when he wouldn’t let her give up. And she didn’t even know the full story. If she did, she’d call him a flat-out hypocrite.
And she’d be right.
“I’ve got to get up early tomorrow for my hospital shift, so...”
“Occupational therapist, right?” He threw some cash on the table, stood and walked around the table to pull out her chair.
“You remembered.” She slid her purse strap up her arm.
“Miracles happen.”
A smile played on her lips. “Yes, they do.”
“Can I make it up to you another time, darlin’?”
“Depends.”
“On...?”
“If whoever you were really thinking about tonight will still be on your mind.”
His eyes dropped at her direct stare. “I’ll make sure of it.” No more dwelling on Amberley as anything other than a friend, he vowed silently. Or on that kiss.
“I’ll hold you to that.” She trailed a finger up his bicep, then squeezed. “My,” she breathed. “How many footballs you think you’ve caught with these?”
“Not enough,” he said as they headed to the exit. His agent had left another “last chance” message about trying out as a free agent again.
As they passed the line dancers, a familiar silver-haired woman caught his eye.
“Ma?”
She didn’t hear him over the thumping music and continued stomping forward and back next to, of all people, Boyd Loveland. A few of her church friends fanned out on each side. Did they meet by chance or plan?
Their beaming smiles suggested this was no coincidence. Why keep this from the family? Sure, they’d all landed in jail the last time she’d tried dating Boyd, but she owed them the truth.
Just last week the Lovelands sold off their antique tractors at a local auction to raise cash. Everyone knew Boyd would do about anything to scrape together the money to save his ranch...and it seemed courting Ma still topped that list.
Not on Jared’s watch.
His boots carried him to the edge of the dance floor. He crossed his arms and waited for his mother to notice him. The hem of her skirt floated around her knees as she twirled, and her smile flashed beneath the twinkling lights strung from the overhead beams.
When was the last time he’d seen her so happy and relaxed? he thought with a twinge.
“Is that your ma and pa?” asked Layah, pointing to the laughing couple.
“My father died eleven years ago.”
The song ended and Boyd brought Ma’s hand to his mouth. Their eyes locked.
“Ma!” he called.
Her head whipped around and her face fell. She hurried over, Boyd hot on her heels. Behind her, the DJ and his crew began dismantling their sound equipment.
“I—I didn’t expect to see you here,” she said, breathless.
“You look pretty tonight,” he said. She smoothed down her skirt and returned his uneasy smile. “What are you doing with him?” He angled his head at Boyd.
“Howdy.” Boyd stuck out a hand and Jared shook it reluctantly.
He wouldn’t be rude and make a scene like he and his siblings had at last year’s Christmas party. It’d devastated his ma. Afterward, she’d retreated into the sad silence that had surrounded her after Jesse’s death. Tonight, she resembled her old self, though—the vibrant mother he missed.
“I came for the line dancing.” Boyd faced Jared full on, eyes steady, jaw firm. “And for Joy.”
Ma twisted the turquoise pendant that matched her skirt and dyed snakeskin boots. “May and Jessica drove me. We met Boyd here.”
“You planned on seeing each other?” Jared asked, careful to pitch his voice low. If his siblings knew about this, they’d blow a fuse.
“I’m Layah Jennings, by the way.” Jared’s date smiled politely at his ma and Boyd.
“Layah, this here’s my ma, Joy Cade.” He stressed the last name, his intent gaze never leaving Boyd’s unflinching face. He’d give the old cowboy one thing. Like all Lovelands, he was tough as boot leather and didn’t give an inch.
“Bye, Joy. Bye, Boyd,” called May and Jessica on their way out the door.
“Don’t you need them for a ride?”
Boyd swept an arm around Joy’s shoulder and they swapped a long, indecipherable look. At Joy’s nod, Boyd said, “I’ll see her to her door.”
“So you two are...”
“Friends,” Boyd finished, resolute. “And I’m honored that Joy will allow me that much. She’s an incredible woman.”
Yes, she was. No one knew that better than her kids. He didn’t need Boyd telling him so.
“Cades and Lovelands aren’t friends,” Jared said through clamped teeth. Boyd might claim a platonic relationship, but Jared had believed the same about himself and Amberley...right up until they’d kissed.
Boyd released his mother and stepped closer. His expression softened. “Son, may I give you a bit of advice?”
“I’m not your son.” Jared shoved his balled hands in his pockets. Once he filled his siblings in on Boyd’s reappearance, they’d figure out how to get rid of this Loveland once and for all.
“Well, now.” Boyd rocked back on his heels, looking more thoughtful than offended. “True enough. But age has a way of teaching you a thing or two, and here’s one I’ve learned. Best get your own life in order before ordering others around.”
His mother enveloped Jared into a vanilla-scented hug. “Sorry, honey,” she whispered in his ear. “We’ll talk at home.”
He squeezed her back. He wouldn’t blame his lonely mother for wanting attention. Boyd was just the wrong guy to lavish her with it. “Sounds good.”
Layah squeezed his arm once his mother and Boyd disappeared through the exit. “You alright?”
“Fine,” he assured her.
But he wasn’t fine, he mused, as he held the door for his date and walked her to his pickup. Much as he hated admitting it, Boyd had a point. His life wasn’t in order.
And he’d spent a lot of time recently ordering others around, starting with Amberley. He’d selfishly used her to distract him from dealing with his dismal future.
Seeing Amberley struggle in the saddle today made him question how he’d handled his career setback. A zero chance of achieving glory didn’t mean Amberley should give up.
Did that apply to him, too?
He’d thought quitting while ahead meant staying a winner. A hero like he and his father wanted.
Now he wasn’t so sure.
After a chaste peck on the cheek, he dropped Layah home and headed to Cade Ranch. A new moon hung high in the bright sky and his headlights bounced off long stretches of rail fences that ran along the deserted rural route. Out here, in the pitch-dark, it felt as though he floated through space, aimless and drifting, without direction or purpose.
But that wasn’t living, was it?
Not a hero’s life after all.
He’d contact his agent tomorrow and give him the go-ahead to float his name as a free agent. In the meantime, he’d begin working out on the ranch. Maybe he’d prove those sports doctors wrong and get back into top athletic condition again.
It’d be hard work with no guarantee of success, but he demanded that from Amberley. Much as he hated admitting it, Boyd’s point resonated. Jared had to put his own life in order and lead by example, become another kind of hero, if he had any chance of getting through to his friend.
And despite the kiss, that’s all they could—should—ever be, especially when they needed each other now more than ever.
His tires churned up the gravel-lined drive to his front door, and he cut the engine. Petey bounded his way, tail beating harder than a helicopter blade.
He hopped out of the cab, slammed the door, then ruffled the mutt’s soft, floppy ears. “Hey, boy,” he crooned.
A rough tongue licked every inch of his face. He’d never owned a pet as affectionate and devoted as Petey. Despite being smaller than the other cattle dogs, and a stray, he never quit, working hard to prove himself to the humans he adored.
Then a thought struck him.
Petey.
He could train Petey for Amberley. No dog on the ranch took direction better. His siblings often joked Petey could read their minds. He’d be an excellent service dog and the tool Amberley needed to regain her independence.
Better yet, Petey personified the big gesture he needed to convince Amberley to give him, and their friendship, one more chance.
And this time, failure was not an option.
* * *
“AND HOW OLD is he?” asked a caller responding to the online ad Amberley placed last night. Beyond Harley’s stall, a rooster crowed and the blurred morning completed its shift from gray to pink to golden. The clear, crisp air brushed cool fingers against her skin.
Amberley groped for the shelf at the back of Harley’s stall and stowed a pair of clippers, blinking gritty eyes. She’d gotten up at 4:00 a.m. to care for her horse and avoid Jared. Not that she had been able to sidestep her nonstop thoughts of their kiss.
“He’s eleven years old. I bought him from Sunnyside farms. His grand-sire was Scamper.”
Harley stretched his neck and pressed hard against Amberley’s hand, shamelessly begging for a scratch and nearly knocking the phone from her hand.
“Behave,” she whispered. Harley nickered and stamped his hooves. “Fine.” She shifted the phone to the other hand and ran her fingernails lightly behind his ears the way he liked.
Would his new owner know how to give Harley affection? Would they cut the apples in quarters the way he preferred? And that overdramatic yawn of his. Harley opened his mouth really wide and threw his head way up and off to the side. If his halter was adjusted too tight for him to open his mouth all the way, he’d get testy, do a little half rear and give a squeal of anger.
A sigh escaped her. She needed to write a long instruction list for Harley’s new owners, though it didn’t guarantee they’d follow it.
Would he be happy without her?
She sure wouldn’t be without him.
Harley lifted his head, his signal for his favorite thing: a hug. Her chest tightened as she wrapped her arms around his neck and he laid his head on her shoulder. The familiar musk and warmth of him enveloped her. Letting him go would break her in two, but Harley’s needs came first.
After a couple more questions and answers, the caller promised to contact her again after he’d talked it over with his wife and daughter, an aspiring competitive racer.
She pocketed her phone and pictured Harley, his tongue between his teeth, his lips curled back, when he acted silly. The caller had sounded a little stern. What if they didn’t appreciate Harley’s goofy side or got scared when he shifted around for a butt scratch, thinking he might kick them...especially when he raised his back left leg like he often did?
Keep him here, whispered the devil on one shoulder. That way you won’t have to worry.
Think about Harley. The exciting life he deserves, trilled the angel on the other side. Do the right thing, Amberley.
“I will,” she exclaimed. “Stop nagging.”
“Amberley?”
She cringed at Jared’s deep voice. Her heart beat a fast staccato.
“Morning, Jared.”
“Mornin’. Didn’t expect to see you here till later. Hey, Harley-boy. Got this for you.”
Harley advanced to the front of the stall, and she heard him crunch on something that smelled sweet.
Apple.
How kind of Jared. He’d always been sweet like that. Thoughtful.
And the way he’d made her melt in his arms...
Amberley shoved her hands in her pockets. “Oh. Yeah. About that. I don’t think I’m going to class today.”
The wood beams of the doorway groaned a bit where Jared must have leaned on them. At over six feet, he blocked out the strengthening sunlight.
“Just today?” he asked.
“Anymore,” she amended, head lowered. Was he thinking about their kiss? Had he relived it, over and over and over, as she had? Her pitiful lack of experience didn’t match up to his Don Juan reputation. Her only serious relationships involved horses.
“Is that because of yesterday?”
Her feet shuffled and a flush started up her neck and crept into her cheeks. “No.” She groaned. “Yes.”
“I’m sorry, Amberley. I should never have kissed you. You’re my best friend, and I crossed the line.”
Strangely, his apology only made her feel worse. Didn’t she want him to regret it as much as she did?
But you don’t regret it, do you? whispered the devil on one shoulder. You liked kissing him.
Accept his apology, twittered the angel on her other shoulder. Then you can both move on and forget it ever happened.
“No, you shouldn’t have.”
His hard-tipped fingers reached across the stall half door and laced in hers. “I’m also sorry I let you think I kissed you only because I wanted to comfort you.”
Her pulse stuttered. “What other reason was there?”
“Because I wanted to.” His voice deepened and grew rough. After a beat of awkward silence, he cleared his throat. “You’re beautiful, Amberley.”
She jerked her hands away and dropped her gaze. “I’m not one of your girls.”
A short, humorless laugh escaped him. “No. You’re my best friend and I won’t jeopardize that again. In fact, I have a surprise for you if you’ll come meet him.”
“Meet him?” She lifted the latch and stepped gingerly outside. Immediately a warm, wet nose butted into her hand. An insistent tongue rasped against her palm.
A dog.
She went to her knees and a shaggy, medium-sized dog pounced on her lap, dropping heavy paws on her thighs. “Oh, aren’t you a cutie.”
“His name’s Petey.”
“Hi, Petey.” She ruffled his long ears, feeling the large notch in one that suggested Petey hadn’t had a very easy life.
“And he’s yours.”
She blinked up at Jared, trying to read his face but catching only flashes of teeth in what might be an uncertain smile.
“I can’t take care of a dog.” Petey sniffed behind her ear, then began vigorously licking her jaw.
“Not yet, but you will after I train him.”
“Train him?”
“He’s going to be your guide dog.”
“Jared, I don’t...”
“Petey, fetch me a soda.”
With a bound, the dog flung himself from her lap and disappeared. “Did you just send him to the store?” she joked.
“Not quite.”
Scattering pebbles heralded Petey’s return a moment later.
“Give.” She heard Jared say, then, “Good boy.” Petey woofed.
A second later, something cool and metallic pressed into her palm. She ran her fingers over the tab, marveling. “How did you... How did he?”
“He got it from the cooler—a trick he learned in one night.”
“You taught him?”
“Yep. He’s a stray who showed up on the ranch a couple months ago. Only took him a week to catch on to cattle herding and become one of our best. He’s the smartest dog I’ve ever known and yours if you’ll have him.”
She buried her nose in Petey’s soft fur. “You don’t have to spend all that time. The doctor said he could find someone—”
“Please let me do this for you.”
She released a breath. “Okay. Thank you. And I accept your apology.”
Jared cared for her more than anyone besides her mother. He’d seen her at her weakest, her worst, and yet here he stood, still by her side, not giving up on her, as pushy as ever, and she loved that about him.
She really did.
“An apology isn’t the only reason I stopped by.”
Petey stuck close as she pushed to her feet, stick in hand and tossed it. With a joyous bark, he raced after it. “What do you want?”
“Your help. Your tumble yesterday taught the kids something valuable.”
“It did?”
“Yeah. That even champions get thrown and make mistakes. What counts is the getting back up.”
She chewed that thought over, then nodded. “True.” When Petey dropped the stick on her boots, she grabbed it and winged it away again.
“I was wondering if you might come back to class as an assistant,” Jared continued. “It’s clear you don’t need help with horses.”
As if to emphasize the point, Harley leaned through the stall door and pressed his clenched teeth into her shoulder with his lips slightly parted, another quirk of his when he wanted attention.
“Was this your idea or Maverick’s? Yesterday you wouldn’t let go of Harley’s bridle.”
Jared’s head seemed to tip back. “I’m sorry about that, too,” he said to the sky. His face lowered and she felt, rather than saw, his eyes on her. “I was just being—”
“A jerk?”
He chuckled. “I was going to say protective, but I suppose both are true. Anyways, the idea’s mine and Maverick agrees.”
“You talked to him?” she asked, surprised. “Alone?”
Petey’s panting breath sounded as he returned at a gallop.
“Down,” Jared instructed, and she glimpsed the dog’s furry outline drop instantly to the grass. “You know I’d do anything for you, darlin’. Even if that means conversing with a Loveland.”
A short laugh escaped her, then she sobered. “But how can I really help without my...my...vision? Won’t I be a burden?”
“You?” scoffed Jared. “Not a chance.”
Pride spread like warm honey in her veins at his admiring tone. “Just seeing you out there is motivating to the kids, but more than that, you can teach them how to handle the horses, groom them, clean their stalls...”
She turned and eased back into Harley’s stall. “I’m still aces at that, at least.”
Jared joined in her ironic laugh, and suddenly it felt like old times, the rhythms of their friendship returning.
“You’ll do a lot of good. Maverick and I also need help planning and running new activities like taking the horses through obstacle courses with barrels and such. I’d appreciate your expertise.”
She cocked her head, considering. As an assistant, she’d regain some of the pride she’d lost yesterday, but how to handle being around Jared, and her unwelcome new feelings for him?
“We’ll take it day by day,” Jared said, sensing her silent reservations. “And anytime you want to quit, you just say so.”
“I don’t like quitting.” The words flew from her lips, from the gut-level spot where her grit used to be. It felt good to find it again.
“I was counting on that.” She could hear the smile in Jared’s voice. “Class starts in thirty minutes.”
“See you then, friend.”
His hand cupped the side of her cheek, and the fluttering in her stomach made the gesture feel anything but “friendly.”
“Later. Come on, Petey.” He whistled.
After Jared left, she rested her head on Harley’s back and closed her eyes. What had she just committed herself to? She’d be working with Jared in the program and with a service-dog-in-training.
Since the kiss, an even more bittersweet memory haunted her: the feel of Jared’s arms wrapped around her, the strength, the firmness of them, the way they’d made her feel safe and strong again and something more...something that’d made her heart pound harder than ever before around him.
Was she developing romantic feelings for him? If so, the timing couldn’t be worse. Even on her best day, she didn’t remotely resemble feminine types he usually dated. Crazy her to keep thinking of him that way.
A shiver tore through her. Get a grip, girl. Even if Jared could get serious, he’d have more power in a relationship with her because of her blindness.
Better to keep her distance and work on regaining her confidence all on her own.
And forget that kiss ever happened.