Chapter Twenty-Four

Isabella booked a seat on the coach that was leaving Narrabri for Brisbane on Friday. The more she thought about it, the better the arrangement was. Tonight would be the time to say her private goodbye to Sebastian, and if she shed a tear—and she knew she would—he would be the only one to see it.

It was going to be so, so hard to leave him, but she knew Sebastian had commitments here. Watching the three men work together in the cattle yards today had gone a long way to making her realise that this was his place. He might not be sure of that yet, but he was a decent man, and she knew he would do the right thing.

By his family.

But what about me? a little voice whispered. Was it the right thing to do, letting her leave his life? She forced herself to sit up straight and fight to see sense.

It was a holiday romance. That’s what they had both agreed. Now her holiday was almost over and it was time to move on. Just a shame it had taken them so long to get together.

Isabella closed her laptop with a loud snap, and her father looked over at her.

“Okay, cara?”

“Yes, all good, Dad. I’m booked on to the coach from Narrabri on Friday morning.”

His thick black brows beetled into a frown. “So you are going to leave.”

“Of course, I am. You know I was only here for a short visit.”

“What about Sebastian?”

“What about him?” Isabella folded her arms and stared at her father as his brow stayed wrinkled.

“I thought—”

“There’s nothing to think, Dad. We’re good mates and that’s it.”

This time his eyebrows rose, but his voice remained mournful. “A father can hope.”

“And so can a daughter. Did you think any more about going to see Mum?” Turning the tables on him took the pressure off her. She was so close to tears it would only take a few words and she’d lose it.

And she still had five days to get through. And tonight with Sebastian.

“It is a coincidence that you mention it.”

“Oh?”

“I was talking to your mother while you were out.” The frown was still there, but the voice was lighter. “We have decided that if you persist in this notion of moving to England, we will come and visit you in the summer.”

“We?” Isabella watched as a smile tilted her father’s mouth.

“Yes, I am going to visit your mother for Christmas. It will be nice to have Christmas in Florence.”

Isabella squealed, and he opened his arms for a hug. “Oh, Dad, I am so happy.”

“Don’t go getting your hopes up. It’s only a visit.” His grin was devious. “But she was very happy to hear from me.” He held her close. “As long as you are happy, Bella. I am happy.”

“There’s no need to worry about me, Dad. I’m a big girl now, and I’m really looking forward to going to England and starting my new job. And it’ll be even better with you and Mum coming to visit.”

“Would you like to come to the club tonight? We could have dinner after my game?”

She shook her head. “One other night this week. Seb’s on his way in. He’s going to take some photos, and then we’re going out for dinner.”

“I might see you at the club then after all. Being Sunday night, there’s nothing else open,” he said.

She caught his eye and smiled. “Sunday night? There’s nowhere else to eat any other night, either. Not since the Chinese restaurant closed.” Isabella picked up her laptop and headed for the small bedroom. “Anyway, I’m not sure where we’re going, but Seb told me to get dressed up.”

“That will be nice for you. It might be a long drive to Dubbo, but there are some good restaurants there.”

She pushed open the door of her bedroom and put the laptop on the small desk before she crossed to the wardrobe and took out the blue silk dress. She would always remember the Pilliga—and Sebastian—when she touched this dress. Because once she’d worn it out tonight it would be put away. To be pulled out when she was feeling lonely and she would remember the great time she’d had here with Sebastian, and the rest of his family.

It was going to be hard to leave on more than one level. Not only would leaving Sebastian be a huge wrench, but she’d gotten to know Lucy and Jemmy all over again, and meeting Angie had been great, too.

Her first impression of Spring Downs had changed. It wasn’t that there was nothing much to do here. Life was what you made it with friends and family. After the first week of being a little bit bored, her time here had been busy and satisfying.

Full of fun and happiness.

And love. Yes, that was the one thing she would have to move away from. Because once she left, she would lose touch with Sebastian. You couldn’t have a love affair over Skype.

A holiday romance. And it was coming to an end.

She headed for the shower, trying to come to terms with life without Sebastian.

…

Sebastian made a couple of calls after Isabella left and then went into the laundry where Gran was peering into the freezer.

“I was just looking to see what you can have for dinner. Harry and I don’t need much more than a piece of toast. We had a baked dinner for lunch, and Julia made us her famous pavlova.”

“Got a big favour to ask you, Gran.”

She closed the lid of the deep freeze and turned to him. “A favour? What would that be?”

“I’m taking Bella over to Baradine to get some sunset photos for my contract. And then we’re staying at a farm a friend of Garth’s owns. Problem is, there’s no one there and I’ll have to take our dinner. I was wondering—”

Before he finished speaking, Gran was reaching for the apron hanging on the back of the door. “So I guess this is a special dinner? A special night? The night when you’re going to tell Isabella how you feel about her.”

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “If it is, she’ll be the first to hear it, no one else.”

“Don’t you get stroppy with me, young man.”

“Sorry, Gran.” He ran his hand over his head, trying to hold back his temper. His grandmother could always get a rise out of him.

“Have you told her yet, you’re in love with her? And don’t deny it. I’ve seen the way you look at her. Are you really going to let her go?”

“It’s my last chance, isn’t it,” he said quietly as Gran bustled around the kitchen. He pulled out a chair and sat at the big scrubbed wooden table and a memory of sitting here with his mother and chatting to Gran as she’d cooked many years ago flashed into his mind. Even in those days, Gran had been the one to come to whenever someone had a problem. He’d forgotten about that—or had he blocked it from his mind as he’d tried to deal with his mother’s death?

He looked up at her as she stopped beside the table. “I’m sorry, Gran.”

“And what would you be sorry for now?” Her voice was brisk as always, but Sebastian knew that she wasn’t one to show her feelings. It was very rare to see Gran let go.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t say thank you to you. That I never showed you how much I cared about you, Gran.”

He widened his eyes as she brushed away a tear with the back of her hand. “Get away with you, Sebastian. You don’t have to tell me. I know you do.”

Even at the funeral of her three daughters, Gran had been stoic and strong and made sure that the four of them had been okay. She’d looked after Liam and Jemima, and Lucy and him on that dreadful day, and then kept in touch with them as they’d made their way out into the world.

Gran had been the one constant in their lives. And when she’d needed them, they’d all come home.

Eventually.

He owed it to her to stay and help Liam with the farm. It was time to grow up and realise this was where he needed to be. A dark-eyed, dark-haired beauty had taken his focus away for the past few weeks, but he knew where he needed to be.

Tonight he would see if Isabella would stay here with him.

“Would a chicken casserole and some fresh made bread be all right?”

“Perfect. Thank you, Gran.”

Gran flicked her fingers onto the leather tie holding his long hair back.

“And when are you going to grow up and get a haircut?”

“I’ll think about getting one this week, if you let me pick all the roses in your garden while you cook. And maybe let me filch a bottle of champagne out of Pop’s fridge?”

She smiled. “Whatever you think it will take, Sebastian. I love that girl, too. She’s the right one for you.”

“Um, one more thing.” He fiddled with the leather hair tie. Do you still have that sapphire ring of Mum’s?”

An hour later, Sebastian had loaded two eskies, his tripod, and cameras into the back of the ute. He’d pulled out his black jeans and his mum’s ring was tucked into the pocket of his best black long-sleeved shirt. He smiled. He was feeling like himself again. Seventies music filled the ute as he drove into town, and he was in a fine frame of mind when he parked outside the milk bar. Isabella opened the door with a big smile, and his confidence strengthened.

I can do this.

“Hi there,” he said. “Your chariot awaits, madame.”

“Dad’s already gone.” She handed him a small bag and closed and locked the door behind her. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope. It’s a surprise.”

“And all I needed was a toothbrush? I got your text.”

“That’s all you need.” Her nod and smile sent a ripple of pleasure down his spine.

Don’t rush. Handle this carefully. He’d practised what he was going to say, and when he was going to say it, all the way into town.

They chatted as he headed through town, past the high school, and then he glanced across at Isabella when he turned onto the Baradine road.

“Baradine?” Her eyebrows lifted. “Isn’t that smaller than Spring Downs?”

He nodded. “Best sunsets over there, they tell me.”

“So why did you tell me to get dressed up for dinner?”

“We’re not going to eat in Baradine. Photos first, then dinner in Bugaldie.”

“Bugaldie?” Her brow wrinkled in a frown. “That’s even smaller. What are you up to, Sebastian?”

He decided to tell her some of his plans.

But not all.

“A friend of Garth’s has a farm stay just north of Bugaldie. It’s nestled in a valley west of the main road and it’s ours for the night.”

“And dinner?”

“Courtesy of Gran.” He gestured to the eskies on the back seat.

“Sounds very well organised, but two coolers? You must be hungry,” she said with a smile. “How far away? It’s not long till sunset.”

“Less than half an hour to where I’m stopping to take the photos. Then we’ll head to Troy’s place.” He reached over and held her hand. “And yes, I’m hungry. Very hungry.”

A short while later, the dirt road to the small lookout appeared on the right. He turned the ute onto the road and focused on the rough four-wheel drive track ahead. It narrowed and climbed the hill before it levelled out to a large flat area. A couple of kangaroos bounded away, and once they were gone, there was not a living soul to be seen.

He swallowed as he turned the ignition off and practised his words in his head. Isabella opened the door and walked over to the edge of the hill as he unpacked his camera and tripod and one esky. He patted his pocket and was surprised to see his hands shaking.

Great photos these would be if he couldn’t stop shaking. He took a deep breath, slung his camera over his shoulder, patted his pocket one more time, and picked up the esky and tripod.

“Oh, Seb. Look at this. How beautiful it is.” Isabella twirled and the silk of her dress caught the fading light as the sun hovered above the far horizon. The sky was a brilliant soft blue with shards of gold streaming from the low clouds to the west. The flat plains of western New South Wales stretched as far as they could see in all directions, broken only by the narrow ribbon of road leading north and south.

Not a car or a homestead to be seen. The light was perfect. Bloody perfect. Best he’d seen since he’d arrived.

“Bella?”

She turned and looked at him.

“This wasn’t part of my plan, but can I take you in the photo? Those two blues together are amazing.” He frowned. “You’d have to sign a disclosure so I could sell them commercially.”

“Of course. Just tell me where to stand.”

“Wait till I get set up.” He knew his voice was clipped, but between his nerves and waiting to get this perfect shot, he felt like someone else. When the creative urge filled him, it was as though he was a different person.

Isabella looked at the esky curiously as he set up his tripod and changed the lens on his camera.

Please don’t ask why I took the esky off the ute. He had to get this photo before the light went.

“Okay. You ready?” He lifted the camera and she nodded. “I want you to twirl like you did before. Hold your hands out, lift your chin, and look up at the sky. Let your hair fly in the wind.” His voice shook. “You’re beautiful.”

…

Isabella was nervous. She couldn’t put her finger on the reason, but there was something in Sebastian’s voice, something in his manner, that was different. His usual happy-go-lucky demeanor had been replaced by an intensity that she’d only glimpsed the first night she’d been with him when he’d taken the photos out near the racecourse. His eyes stayed on her every time he lowered the camera, and he’d point to a place for her to move to. She moved and he took hundreds of photographs until the sun slipped behind the horizon in one final flash of brilliant gold. The sky softened to apricot, and the evening stars appeared above.

Sebastian didn’t speak as he lowered his camera but held his hand out to her. Isabella took it and walked beside him and waited quietly until he had put the camera and tripod into the ute. When he turned back to her, his eyes were still intense and dark. His voice was low and husky.

“Close your eyes for me, Bella.” He put his finger on her lips and smiled. “Don’t ask. Just do.”

Isabella lifted her shoulders in a shrug, but still the nerves were fluttering in her stomach even more now. She did as she was told. As she stood there with her eyes closed, she could hear Sebastian moving around and a rustle of paper and the sound of the esky being opened. Next minute, his breath brushed her cheek.

“Keep your eyes closed and take my hand.”

Again she obeyed, and he led her a few steps. She wrinkled her nose. A strong floral fragrance surrounded her.

“I’ll hold you while you sit down.” He held her hands as she lowered herself, and she smiled when she realised she was sitting on the esky.

“One more minute. Eyes closed.”

She jumped as a cork popped and the next minute the sound of liquid being poured into a glass reached her. She shook her head as her trepidation increased.

She knew him too well and wasn’t sure she liked the way this was heading. Unless…unless he’d decided to come with her.

To leave the farm and follow me to England? Maybe? She kept her eyes closed and hoped…and hoped. She fought down the flare of anticipation that was getting stronger every second.

Silence for a moment and then a rustle in front of her, before her hand was picked up in his.

“You can open your eyes now, Bella.”

Sebastian was kneeling in front of her. It took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust and she looked around. Roses were strewn on the ground around her, and as she watched, he lifted a glass and passed it to her.

“A real date, Seb?” She smiled. “Roses and champagne, finally?” Her voice trembled with emotion.

Sebastian shook his head. “More than a date.” He reached into his shirt pocket and Isabella widened her eyes as certainty flooded through her.

“Bella. I’ve thought long and hard about this, and I know that time is short.” He reached out with his other hand and lifted her chin so that she looked into his eyes. His expression was filled with love and certainty, but she knew his certainty was different to hers. “Maybe if you weren’t leaving on Friday, I would have waited but I can’t risk losing you. I want you to stay.”

She shook her head and bit her lip as her throat ached. Regret sat in her chest like a stone.

No. But then she realised she’d only cried it in her head. She opened her mouth to stop him, but gentle fingers brushed over her lips. “Let me finish.”

As he spoke, the tears welled in her eyes and slipped down her cheeks, but he kept talking.

“I love you, Bella. And I know that I want to spend my life with you. I have the perfect solution.”

But where? Is he going to say he will come to England with me?

Please.

“I can take on more photographic contracts to supplement the work at the farm, and we can travel around the Outback. There’s no need for you to go to England.”

All her hopes and dreams sank like a stone.

The tears fell and he lifted his thumb and wiped them away. One cheek, and then the other, and horror filled her when he opened the small black case he held.

The box was dark, and the stone was dark. It was how she felt, as regret became heavier.

“Will you marry me? Make a life together out here?”

Isabella’s breath hitched and finally the words came. “No. Seb. Please stop.” She jumped up from the cooler, and her flat shoes crushed the roses as she walked away from him, her fist to her mouth, the sweet fragrance making her feel sick. She looked down wordlessly as the glass she had been holding slipped from her fingers and smashed on the ground.

“I can’t. This was only a holiday romance. It was never going to be forever.” Even as she said the words, she knew she loved him, but she couldn’t compromise. If she said yes, and stayed here with him, what would happen to all her hopes and dreams? She couldn’t push them aside to stay here, even though the temptation was so strong. After a few weeks—months—maybe, she’d regret it, no matter how much she loved him.

She had come to terms with leaving, and now he had brought all of the emotion surging to the surface again. Shaking her head, she cried out to him.

“Why did you have to do that? Why did you have to ruin everything? I was going to say goodbye to you tonight and make it a night we would both remember. I do”—her breath hitched—“I do care about you…but I can’t give up my dreams. If you don’t know that, you don’t know me.”

She stood there shaking as Sebastian got up from the ground and picked up the bottle. He walked over to the edge of the hill and tipped the liquid out, before he came back and opened the esky and put the empty bottle inside. Without a single word, he pulled out some newspaper and crouched down and picked up the broken glass. Then he picked up the esky and put it in the car before he turned to her.

“Get in the car, Isabella.” His voice was quiet and flat. “Please. I’ll take you home.”

The trip back to Spring Downs was silent. The crushed roses beneath her feet as she walked back to the car was a memory that would stay with Isabella for the rest of her life, as was the desolation in Sebastian’s eyes as he parked outside the milk bar and waited for her to get out of the car.

“Goodbye, Seb. I’m sorry.”

The last thing she saw before she shut the door was the glittering darkness of his eyes.