I’M NOT A MORNING person. Anyone who knows me, or who has had to put up with me over the years, will testify to that.
So it’s fair to say Fernando Ricksen was my worst nightmare.
I’d be sitting there, at Murray Park, having a cup of tea and some breakfast, just minding my own business, taking it easy. The way I like it. And then the doors would burst open and in he’d come. Always at 100mph. Fernando did everything at 100mph – it’s just the way he is.
Anyway, I’d roll my eyes and think to myself, Oh shit, here he comes – bang goes my peace!
The truth is he didn’t shut up. Ever. The guy was completely hyperactive and always had to be getting up to something or other. He couldn’t sit still.
So, yes, I admit it, there was a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I saw him bolt in through those doors with that big grin on his face, like a kid on a sugar rush. He was a total pain in the arse; but, deep down, I loved the guy for it.
So I can’t begin to explain the sense of shock I felt when I received the first message about his TV appearance in Holland, during which he revealed he was unwell. My first reaction was to dismiss it; there must have been some kind of mistake. But as the texts kept coming, I realised it must be true. My old teammate had contracted motor neurone disease.
Now don’t get me wrong, I knew right away it didn’t sound good. But it was only when I went away and researched it online that I realised the full extent of what Fernando is going through and of what lies ahead for him. A disease they cannot cure? It’s just too horrible for words.
No one deserves to suffer in that way. But Fernando of all people? Sometimes this world is too cruel, because you will never meet a more kind-hearted guy. He was – no, still is – a crazy guy, but one with a heart of gold. There was never a dull day with this Dutchman.
People made him out to be a lunatic because of all the stuff he got up to, but he wasn’t anything of the sort. I remember him as a big kid who didn’t have an off button – and that’s hardly unusual in this line of business. Paul Gascoigne was the same type of character and there have been plenty of others. But that didn’t make him a bad guy and certainly not the kind of monster he was sometimes made out to be.
He was a beast, for sure – especially on the pitch – a hungry animal that needed to be fed on silverware. That’s why it was so good to have him in the team. Fernando may not be the world’s best footballer, but he was a born winner. A fighter. That’s why he was always so popular among Rangers fans. They love a guy who throws himself into the cause with utter commitment, doing everything he could to win. He loved the club and the club loved him.
So he might take some comfort now, in these challenging days, from knowing that the whole football world is behind him. And all of us are sending him our support.
Honestly, you could not meet a nicer guy than Fernando. And I don’t say this because he says I’m the best footballer he has ever played with – which, looking at all of his former teammates, is an enormous honour for me.
It always made me laugh when I heard some of the nasty stuff people would say about him. These were the thoughts of absolute idiots who did not know the first thing about him as a human being. Yes, Fernando’s image suffered because he was capable of doing some stupid things on and off the pitch. But aren’t we all? And, mind you, I am quite envious of some of those ‘stupid things’. I mean ... waking up next to Jordan, are you kidding me? That’s the stuff legends are made of. And Fernando, truly, is a legend.
He was a fiery guy on the park too and sometimes he got carried away there as well. But he wasn’t out there trying to hurt or maim people; he was just one of those guys who got so wound up in a game that sometimes the heat of the moment got the better of him.
But that same enormous drive led to international honours with Holland, silverware for Rangers and Zenit Saint Petersburg and his induction into the Rangers Hall of Fame. Some people have said that his induction is because of his illness, but that’s as callous as it is untrue. The man won prizes for the club and he was our captain. If you have done that, you belong in the Hall of Fame.
The way he lived his life, the way he played on the pitch, was always on the edge. He was whole-hearted in everything he did and I love the guy for that.
By the time I came back to the club from Blackburn for my second spell at Ibrox, Fernando was the team captain and I saw a huge change in him as a player. He thrived on the extra responsibility and from moving into midfield from full-back. I thought we complemented each other really well and I enjoyed playing beside him. We thought we could take on anyone together.
The crazy thing is, that was only eight years ago. And now he’s fighting a battle against a killer disease. The idea is that he can’t win this fight. But we’re talking about Fernando Ricksen here. Not many people can fight like him. Just wait and see, the guy is not going to give up just like that.
Still, I have to admit that I didn’t realise just how bad the diagnosis was until I read up on it. It took me a full week until I found the strength to have a look at the TV footage of him, talking for the first time about MND. That’s because not everybody is as brave as Fernando. Anyway, after reading all those text messages and having done my research, I found myself doing a strange thing. I put my iPad down and went into the next room to lie down with the kids and watch TV. Something inside me made me need to be close to my family.
The proudest part of being a father is watching your kids grow up and playing a part in their development into adults. That’s what being a parent is all about. But Fernando has only just become a dad to a baby girl. He is probably not going to have that joy. And that’s the saddest thing of all.
I guess it just proves a point. That you’ve got to live life to the full because you don’t know what’s around the corner. And at least that’s what Fernando has done. He has lived his life to the full. You find all the proof you need of that statement in this book.
And, whatever happens, I will remember him the way he was. With that big smile. About to ruin another bloody breakfast.
Barry Ferguson
May 2014