We all have different beliefs in terms of the life beyond this one, beliefs cultivated over the years by who raised us and how we were raised, what we were taught, which part of the world we live in, which schools we attended, what we watch, what we read, and whom we listen to. Who or what you say is “God” or the “universe” may be completely different from my view. Even two people who sit next to each other in church week after week aren’t necessarily going to have identical beliefs. But those differences are not important when it comes to recognizing signs from the other side. Anyone can do it. The only belief we have to share is that it’s possible to receive those signs.
Many people, out of curiosity, ask me about my beliefs. You may find my faith a bit complicated, but I can tell you that it is based on the Christian upbringing my grandma provided. No matter your denomination, you will likely find some commonalities between what I believe and what you believe.
In order to understand my belief system, first you need to understand my grandma. Although I know she loves me — the boy she raised and the man I’ve become — she does not love the part of me that you know, the medium. I honestly think it scares her. It flies in the face of her own belief system. As a devout Christian, she always keeps a Bible nearby. She prays daily and isn’t afraid to preach the word of God publicly. And it is her courage to speak her beliefs that I so deeply admire and respect about her and cherish so dearly. When I was young, she would put on Bible-based cartoons for me to watch, and I enjoyed them. She is very “old-school” when it comes to her religion. She has lived her life with integrity and honesty, and she no doubt has earned her ticket to heaven.
She has never felt comfortable with my work as a medium because the Bible says to steer clear of communicating with the dead. She believes that the devil is somehow behind what I believe is my God-given gift. She doesn’t believe I am the devil, as my dad once suggested long ago. She believes that the devil is tricking me and using me by posing as good spirits to try to infiltrate the lives of others. For example, if I tell you that your mom is coming through to me, my grandma would say it’s really the devil pretending to be your mom in order to gain clearer access to you. This is completely false, and it comes from a place of fear. People often ask me if I am ever contacted by dark forces. The answer is no, because I protect myself with the white light of God before channeling.
While I completely understand my grandma’s perspective, I obviously don’t agree with it in light of my personal everyday experiences, all of them positive. I am convinced that God — a very loving God — gave me this ability and that I am doing what the Bible says with respect to using my God-given gift to serve others. In fact, this gift has not only helped those I share it with grow in their faith; it has helped me grow stronger in mine. My relationship with God has become more personal, I have learned how to pray, and I have realized that I am under an obligation to share this beautiful gift with the world.
So, what do I believe?
I believe in a spirit world called heaven that we enter when we leave our physical bodies behind on earth. Heaven is a spectacular place, but we enter it at different levels based on the lives we live as humans — what lessons we learned and those we failed to learn. The better people we are on earth, the better our position in heaven. However, I also believe we can move up levels once we are in heaven by acknowledging the errors we made when we were in human form, which are much more easily recognizable once our souls are separated from our bodies. We go through a life review to see how we could have done things differently and where we could have been more godlike, compassionate, and loving. Just as we learn, grow, and evolve while in the flesh, we continue to do so in spirit form.
I believe in reincarnation — that we all lived many lives before this one. I see earth as a classroom that was set up for us when we were in spirit form, where we chose which lessons our souls would benefit from, before incarnating into human form. We created a road map of sorts that detailed the experiences we could have in this life. That road map has many avenues, and because of free will, our decisions influence which is taken. Ultimately, which path we take can affect whether we fulfill our purpose and learn the lessons we were supposed to learn in this life. I believe that any “déjà vu” we experience is a quick snapshot of that road map, a confirmation that we are in sync with what we had planned our earthly experience to be.
I believe each of us is part of a preplanned soul group. For example, before you were born into this life, you made an agreement with your soul group, souls you traveled with in previous lifetimes. Those souls include blood family — parents, siblings, children, and so forth — along with non–family members. Together, you are all soul mates.
We generally refer to our romantic partner as a “soul mate,” and they could be, but a soul mate could also be your good friend Bob from high school with whom you have a strong connection. It could be a teacher who had a profound effect on your life. It could be a neighbor who becomes your best friend over time. Soul mates are usually people who bring you feelings of connection and peace and love. A soul mate, however, could also be an alcoholic ex-husband who abused you but whose behavior taught you lessons about self-worth. We came into this life to learn those lessons and to grow from them.
Sometimes learning the lessons we need to learn in life requires a little help. I believe that spirit guides play a significant role in influencing our path. Spirit guides can be those who have transitioned to the afterlife but may not necessarily be anyone whom we’ve known in this life or who is part of our own soul group — although they can be. It is their duty to guide us and support us in specific circumstances. We are all given a spirit guide at birth and can gain more guides as we age. Spirit guides will help us through bumps in the road, trials, and tribulations, especially when our loved ones who died cannot help us.
For example, if you are having serious money problems and your late father, who could never manage his finances when he was on earth, is the only person close to you who has passed, your spirit guide would be the one to help you. If your father couldn’t manage money here, he is not going to be the person on the other side you will want to call on.
I also believe in angels, beings that have never been in the physical body. They have always been in heaven and are the lightest and highest vibration of energy. We all have a connection with them, and they offer us a guiding hand in our lives and can make miracles happen. For example, if you have ever escaped death, chances are that an angel had something to do with that. Each angel is specific to a different theme. Michael the archangel is one you may have heard of. In the Bible, he is called on multiple times to protect people from evil. So, when we need protection, Michael is one angel who may be helping us.
I do believe in Jesus, a prophet sent here to offer us universal lessons of love and coming together. Christ is what many have called an “ascended master” — someone who was a highly evolved being who came here to help teach us the lessons we are here to learn, much in the same vein as Buddha or Gandhi.
I do not believe that God is an individual man or being above all in heaven (that is, God the Father) but more of a universal power that is limitless. We all make up the web of this greater power in both the physical and nonphysical forms, but in the physical form, our egos make us feel separate from one another. However, we truly are connected and always have been since the beginning of time. So you and I; your grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, and friend; your friend’s aunt; and everyone else make up God. We are all one. But it is when we cross over to the other side and enter our nonphysical forms that we recognize that unity. We all are born from the same spiritual fabric — love — and we all return to that same spiritual fabric in heaven.
So, in a word, God is love.
I understand that if you are Catholic, Baptist, Muslim, Jewish, or any other religion, you are not going to agree with everything I’ve just stated. Hopefully, though, you can see some beliefs we all share, the primary one being that the foundation for our existence is love.
As I’ve mentioned, no matter what your beliefs, all you need to be able to recognize signs from heaven are an open mind and heart.
Opening your mind to receiving signs simply means believing it can happen. If you have faith in God or in the next life, you are already ahead of the game. If you don’t have a deep-rooted faith in God or in anything else, don’t fret; you can still do this. How? By detaching yourself from your ego and rational mind for a period of time.
When it comes to receiving signs, our egos and rational minds do us a disservice by trying to find logic in the most incredible messages from the other side rather than accepting those validations for what they are. Set aside any cynicism, any doubts, any preconceived notions, and be open to the possibility that there is something larger than yourself, a kind of energy that is simply above and beyond the human or material.
That energy can be a gut feeling. We all have intuition. You no doubt have gone with your gut when making an important decision, and you have trusted it. That feeling is guidance from God and the spirit world. It’s that part of your soul that is connected to divine knowledge and wisdom, which can be attained by disengaging yourself from your ego and fear-based thinking. Even if you don’t think of spirits as being the source, you can still understand this feeling to be an energy inside you that is instinctual and that you know has guided you in the past and you have been able to trust.
You can believe in the energy of the universe, an intangible force around us that comes from the stars, the planets, the galaxy. You may not believe that God is behind any of it, and that’s okay — as long as you believe there is an energy beyond the scope of human life that is greater than you and me.
Another type of energy you can tune in to that can open your mind, one that many people don’t think of as an energy, is confidence. Whether you are a superstar basketball player, a dentist, a mechanic, or a famous singer, when you tap into the energy that enables you to perform at your highest level, your gifts shine. If I am not in a confident mind-set, I won’t be a clear channel to give effective readings. Like an athlete who needs to stretch, I have to warm up my mind, which I do through meditation and other methods (which I will share in a moment). The more I warm up, the more my confidence level increases, which puts my mind into a positive and open space.
So, is there any hope for an atheist to receive signs from the other side? Well, that would be difficult to do, considering an atheist doesn’t believe there is an “other side.” But here is an interesting story to ponder.
A friend of mine told me about one of his friends who is a hard-core atheist. This friend had always been adamant that there is no God or spiritual world or life of any kind beyond this one, and he wouldn’t hesitate to debate anyone on the subject — which is what makes this story so fascinating.
Two days after a natural disaster had occurred in his community, he was volunteering his time at a local organization he belonged to. The organization was a very well-respected non-profit known for its charity work. In the case of this disaster, he and other volunteers there were accepting donations of clothes and then sorting them and distributing them to families in need. When his work was finished at the end of the day, he was reflecting on what he had experienced, and he was deeply moved by all that had been accomplished and by the outpouring of love and support from donors and volunteers. He was so moved, in fact, that he said that throughout the day he had felt the presence of the long-deceased people who had founded the organization years earlier, as if they had been watching over him and the other volunteers. It was the first time my friend had ever heard him allude to the possibility that there was something beyond this life.
Was he no longer an atheist after that feeling? No. His beliefs, or nonbeliefs, hadn’t changed at all. But he certainly felt something or he wouldn’t have made that comment.
To me, there is no question that those founders were there with him and the others. His feeling was real. Unfortunately, he probably released that feeling soon after it arose, listening instead to his rational mind. But it’s proof to me that even those who may think there is no such thing as a spirit world are part of that spiritual web I talked about, whether they know it or not. Had he continued to let that door open wider when he felt what he’d felt, rather than allowing his ego to slam it shut, it potentially could have changed his worldview.
Signs are always right in front of us. Your loved ones who have passed have probably already sent some your way today. But, without an open and aware mind, they will be useless. It is much like having a conversation with someone. If I explain something to you and you sincerely listen to me, you will understand what I am saying. However, if I tell you something and you don’t listen, my words will still be there, but they will have no effect on you, because you didn’t pay attention.
Some things you can do to help you open your mind to be more aware of the other side and your psychic senses are pray, repeat affirmations, and meditate.
Prayer is the personal and intimate relationship we have with God, or whatever our higher power may be, to communicate our current and future hopes and desires. Simply put, it is talking to God. Prayer, as it relates to this book, is a way to communicate with our deceased loved ones, asking them to show us signs that they are with us. Everyone who believes in something greater than themselves prays in some way. Even those who say they do not believe in anything will often engage in a form of prayer without really knowing it.
I often see nonbelievers on social media say “Please send good vibes” or “Positive thoughts are appreciated” for intentions they post about. They don’t want to use the term prayer, because they automatically connect prayer with God or some other form of energy beyond this life. But even in cases where they are putting forth an intention without calling on a specific higher power, an inner dialogue is taking place that I would classify as a form of prayer.
Prayer connects us to our highest good and to our intuitive selves. It is like casting a fishing net into the ocean, trying to catch something nourishing in its depths. Prayer is a way for us to set our intention.
How can you use the guidance of spirits for your benefit? It can be as simple as saying to your deceased grandmother, “Grandma, I need your help . . .” That request will lift your energy and vibration from your earthly mind-set to a higher, spiritual level.
In the physical form, we are going to experience difficult times and negative thoughts. We are programmed as human beings to always be in survival mode (or worry mode), thinking ahead about money, safety, work, shelter, and where our next meal will come from. That fear is part of our human fabric. But we always can tune in to the love of the other side, the love of God, which truly does transform our thinking into the positive. Those fearful thoughts are reminders to use prayer to plug back into the space of universal love, where anything is possible.
If your mom is very ill and the prognosis is not good, the immediate thought of losing her from your life would obviously be worrisome and stressful. But if you pause that negative thought for a moment to pray — to surrender that which you cannot control to the other side and to watch for signs of comfort — you will be able to see through the darkness that has shrouded you. Maybe, as you are holding your mom’s hand while she lies in her hospital bed, you hear a song playing in a nearby room that she and your deceased father used to call “their” song. Or maybe the nurse who comes into the room to take care of her has the same unusual name as your mother’s deceased sister. Perhaps one of the numbers on the monitors she is hooked up to reflects the date of your parents’ wedding anniversary. These could all be signs that you would have never noticed without praying to your father or aunt.
Prayer is how we invite spirits on this journey with us and ask them to provide the stepping-stones we need to get to a space of truth. When we live in our truth, we can change our course for the better, but we need to be clear on what that road looks like first. Otherwise, we will go in circles throughout life without any real direction.
An affirmation is a declaration that, with repetition, can transform our thought process, better our emotional state, and raise our vibration. All change begins in the subconscious mind. An example could be the word love. When you think of the word love, it should stir positive emotions. When you say it repeatedly, it should make you feel blissful, connected, supported, and beautiful, overwhelming any negative thoughts or feelings you may have.
When you wake up in the morning, a great way to begin your day is with a positive intention, picturing yourself going through your activities surrounded by the light of God that will guide you to miracles and blessings and protect you from harm and evil. You can then “supercharge” your intention by using affirmations to help maintain your positive mind-set. If you are seeking confidence for something you have to do, tell yourself “I am confident now.” If you are trying to lose weight, tell yourself “I am grateful for the weight I have lost, and I am going to continue on this journey today.”
Being aware of the words we use makes a difference. It is a way to program our minds while, at the same time, sending a positive signal to our higher power that this intention is what we want, similar to prayer.
In terms of recognizing signs from the spirit world, an affirmation you might repeat if you need some strength from your deceased mother could be “Mom, I know you are with me today. I am open to receiving signs from you, and I trust they will bring me the comfort and strength I need now.” By setting an intention to hear from her in spirit, you automatically cast the net into unlimited possibilities of how she may present a sign that she is near and well.
There is never a guarantee of how we will receive that sign, but once the request is made, those on the other side work in miraculous ways to show us that they are around. The more aware we become, the easier it is to recognize these signs.
I mentioned in the introduction that I had asked my mom to show me a sign that she was with me while I was going through a difficult time. But I didn’t just stop there. I continued to think of her in a very positive light and talk to her all day and into the night, keeping my eyes open for any kind of sign. The next day was when I saw the license plate with her name. I certainly wasn’t looking for a message in a license plate, but I was looking for something from her. The repeated affirmations helped me recognize it.
It’s not a bad idea to say every now and then, “I am aware of the signals and signs from the spirit world, and I trust myself more in acknowledging them now,” or something along those lines. While I believe that spirits can sense when you are in tune with them, it can’t hurt to verbally let them know, just to be sure.
Meditation is very similar to prayer, though it is more about listening than talking to God. It is about bringing inner peace, stillness, and focus to your mind rather than making a personal request to a higher power. It can involve techniques such as deep breathing, chanting, or simply sitting in silence to connect with the center of your soul.
The practice of meditating to de-stress was once regarded by mainstream society as nothing short of absurd, and it still is today by some who have never tried it or explored its potential benefits. Those who don’t understand it may also view it as a time waster that can slow down productivity at work, school, or home, or as a sign of weakness: if they can “make it” through the day without meditating, then everybody should be able to. But science has proved again and again that meditation can significantly improve our short- and long-term productivity and our overall effectiveness by strengthening our mental and physical capacities.
Studies on meditation have revealed that it can increase our focus, improve our ability to multitask, give us better control over our emotions, decrease depression and stress, boost our immune systems, and lessen our physical pain — all of which, of course, can open our minds to recognizing signs from the other side.
There is no one way to meditate. Meditation, like prayer, isn’t limited to a particular place, time of day, or duration. You don’t have to be sitting in a relaxed position in the center of a quiet room with the warm rays of the morning sun and a light breeze streaming through your open window (though that sounds lovely). People meditate by writing, exercising, or chanting. They meditate at home, at their desk at work, in a dressing room before a concert, or in a locker room before a game. They meditate as soon as they wake up in the morning, before bed in the evening, or in the afternoon while their children are napping. They meditate for intervals as short as a minute or as long as their day is, depending on the time they have or what their culture or religion dictates.
The key to successful meditation is removing all distractions — those that are physically around you and those cluttering your mind. The more ego you can eradicate, the more space within your mind for the work of spirits around you to be recognized. Even with those distractions removed, meditating can be frustrating at first because your mind will wander. That’s okay. This is new to you. Just allow the process to unfold. Let your thoughts gently flow through your consciousness and out of your mind. Don’t force it. When you force it, you negate the purpose, which is to be in the moment.
There is a meditation in Expect the Unexpected that I have used quite frequently. You can also find many simply by searching online. Eventually, if you meditate enough, you will be able to develop your own meditation, one tailored to your specific tastes and available time.
Here is another example of a meditation you can try:
Close your eyes and focus on your breath.
As you inhale, notice the air traveling down your torso and filling your entire being. Hold it for a second.
As you exhale, feel all tension leave your body, sending it the signal for pure relaxation.
Again, inhale and hold it for a second. As you release your breath, surrender anything that sits heavy on your heart — sadness, anger, guilt, fear. It will not serve you. Let it all go.
Now, visualize a crystal-clear white light entering from the ceiling above you. (If you can’t visualize this clearly, just set the intention that it surround you. In time, this will become like second nature.)
See this white light flow down like a waterfall and enter the top of your head, filling it with light and clearing away any negativity that stands in your way, blocking you from aligning with the unconditional love and energy from the other side.
With each breath, feel this white light continue to travel down through your head, your neck, your shoulders.
See and feel this light travel into your chest area, specifically into your heart.
Feel the white light connect with your heart chakra, and ask for your heart to be opened to the unconditional love of the spirit world.
Once you feel this connection, continue allowing this light to travel down your torso and legs, through your feet, and into the earth.
Feel that connection to the earth, the universe, spirits, and the divine energy that is God.
Once you feel this flow, ask that it surround you and protect you throughout your day so that you may be an extension of God’s love all day long, living with compassion for others and accepting others.
Sit here for a few moments, until you feel completely present and centered. Allow this light to recharge your soul, which will positively affect your mind and body.
After a few more moments, when you feel ready, mentally bring yourself back to the room and open your eyes. Wiggle your toes to be sure you are fully back in your body and it is physically safe to get up.
Now, go about your day with this newfound energy, recharging at other points with the same meditation or a similar one if you feel you need it.
The most beautiful aspect of spirits is that they don’t discriminate. Every single one of us has multiple connections with the other side — those who will listen to us, who will guide us, who will help us with whatever we need. It’s very similar to our lives here on earth. There are people who will listen to, guide, and help us, but we are not going to recognize them for who they are if we close ourselves off from them, if we don’t allow them into our lives to be of service to us. If we don’t open our minds to those on the other side, they will still be there showing us signs, but it will all be in vain because we aren’t letting them in. If we do open our minds, it will feel like we have opened up a whole new world outside the physical one we live in each day — because we have.