17   “I Am Happier Than I’ve Ever Been”

In the story about Phyllis and her dream about Mike, you read that she had a gut feeling upon waking that something had happened to her former boyfriend. Further signs that day and an eventual phone call from Mike’s mother proved that her feeling was accurate. But sometimes messages from spirits in dreams can be even more direct. As you will read in this story, what a man named Roger experienced in his dreams was an incredible gift from his grandfather, the kind of vivid signs we all wish we could have after a loved one passes.

Roger’s grandfather was eighty-two years old and had cancer when he died, so his death wasn’t totally unexpected, but Roger was still deeply saddened because the two were so close. A few weeks afterward, Roger had the first of three dreams in which his grandpa would visit him. These weren’t dreams about his grandpa but ones in which his grandpa actually appeared to him and, in two of them, verbally communicated with him.

“I’d never experienced anything like them,” Roger said. “I knew I was dreaming while it was happening. I knew in each dream that I was asleep and that I was in the midst of a dream in which my grandpa was about to make an appearance and talk to me. The level of comfort and confidence I felt was indescribable.”

In the first dream, Roger was sitting in a chair in his grandfather’s living room. “My grandma and cousin and I were there,” he said. “They were both crying as my grandpa’s dead body lay on the couch, while I was excited with anticipation. Even though I knew he was dead, I knew that he was about to get up to talk to me. When he finally did rise from the couch after a few seconds, I guess my grandma and cousin couldn’t see him, because they continued to cry and paid no attention to him. I was jubilant and said hi to him. He was very serious and just said, ‘Come with me,’ as he walked past me.”

They went into the kitchen.

“He said that he didn’t want my grandma to hear him say it, but she was going to need medication to combat depression because of how sad she was that he was gone. We then walked around the house, room by room, where he seemed to be making sure things were in order. Then we went outside, where a woman was backing his giant Cadillac out of the garage. I have no idea who she was, but when she backed out, she ran over his lawn mower. He turned to me, shaking his head with disgust, and said, ‘Thank goodness I have your dad to take care of things while I’m gone.’ ”

The dream ended and Roger woke up.

“I felt wonderful, but I was also disappointed it was over,” he said. “It was one of those moments that you wish would never end. I received a real visit from my deceased grandpa. I just wished that I had more time to talk to him.”

Acting on the dream, Roger called his father the next morning and told him about what he had experienced. His dad was his grandmother’s primary caregiver after his grandpa’s death.

“I asked him if Grandma was on medication for depression. He said they had just gone to the doctor and gotten her some. Then I told him how grateful Grandpa was that he was taking care of Grandma. My dad was never much of a religious or spiritual person like I have always been, and he really struggled after my grandpa’s death. There was no question, though, that what I told him had a significant impact on him. I realized that the dream probably wasn’t so much for me as it was for him. I think my grandpa knew that I would be very receptive to him appearing to me, whereas it might have freaked out my dad a little bit if Grandpa had gone directly to him instead.”

The second dream came a few weeks later and would be even more comforting. This time it opened with Roger in his grandpa’s basement.

“It was a dark, old unfinished basement. The only reason I can figure why we were down there is because the rest of the family was upstairs being loud as they laughed and watched TV. The basement was a private place without any commotion. I was standing there by myself waiting for him to appear. I didn’t know why he was coming, but I knew he was. After a few seconds, he was just there. Again, he looked very serious. We were staring at each other when I finally said, ‘Hi, Grandpa. How are you?’ He said, ‘I am happier than I’ve ever been.’ ”

In his dream, Roger was so excited by his grandpa’s response that he wanted someone upstairs to come down to hear it, too.

“I was yelling up to my sister. It was so loud up there that she couldn’t hear me. And, for whatever reason, I knew that if I went up to get her, Grandpa would be gone when we got back. I didn’t know what to do. But since I had heard what I had wanted to hear, I decided to take a chance. I ran up as fast as I could and told my sister to come down. She was having so much fun up there that she wouldn’t listen to me. So, I ran back down myself and, sure enough, Grandpa was gone. I was disappointed, but I was overjoyed at the same time because he had told me what I wanted to hear. I called my sister the next morning after I woke up and let her know what she’d missed. She was sincerely apologetic. I laughed, but I do wonder what would have happened if, in the dream, she had come down and seen him.”

The third dream was just days after the second one and lasted only a few seconds.

“I was awake late at night. I was in bed thinking about Grandpa and the dreams I’d had. As I was lying there, I asked him in my mind why he hadn’t smiled at all in either of those dreams. ‘You always seem so serious,’ I said. ‘Even though you said you were happier than you’ve ever been, there was no smile. It would be nice to see it in your face.’ I wasn’t being overly serious but just making a point to him as I was thinking about him. Soon after, I fell asleep and found myself in the same situation as the previous two dreams — I knew I was dreaming, and I knew he was about to show up.”

This time, though, Roger wasn’t anywhere in particular.

“I wasn’t at his house or mine. It was like I was in an empty space staring straight ahead. Suddenly, just his face appeared right in front of me. He started out looking serious, but then he put his index fingers in his mouth, one on each side, and he stretched his mouth and stuck his tongue out at me. It lasted about two seconds and he was gone. I woke up laughing so hard that I was crying. He’d obviously heard my plea to look happy.”

That would be the last time Roger’s grandpa would appear to him in a dream.

“It has been seventeen years since he died, and just a little less than that since I had those dreams. I wondered for a long time why he never came back. I’ve asked him to return, but he never has. My wife and I moved a few months after those dreams, so I wondered if that had anything to do with it, but I don’t think so. He had no real connection to my old house. I just think he said what he had to say, and he told my dad and me what we wanted to hear, and that was all that was needed — for him and for us.”

Roger advised, “If anyone ever has a dream like those three — where you are being visited by someone who has died and you are fully aware that you are dreaming — embrace and take advantage of every second of it. Because even though it is a dream, it is a real connection to the other side. I have never felt anything like it since, and I may never again.”