Gin Blossoms: ‘Hey Jealousy’
The air simmered with heat, despite it being early October. Erin and Greg were standing on the edge of Highfields Park boating lake, squinting out at the water.
‘You sure you’ve got time for this?’ Greg said, as a small rowing boat bobbed in front of them.
Erin checked her watch. ‘Yeah, there’s plenty of time. Adam won’t be here for ages.’
Greg tried not to flinch at the mention of Erin’s boyfriend – this enigmatic man he’d heard so much about and who he already detested with every fibre of his being – and held out his hand.
‘Come on then, let’s get going.’
They clambered aboard and Greg pushed them away from the bank. The air was cooler out on the lake, the heat of the sun scattering across the water, sparkling back at them like diamonds as they headed out, away from the crowds. Erin leaned back, hooked her elbows over the edge of the boat and pulled her sun hat down over her eyes. She peered into the blue-green depths of the lake where fish moved about just below the surface. What else was down there, hidden in the depths?
‘This is better than studying any day,’ she said, squinting at Greg as he pulled the oars back and forth. She tried not to notice the way his biceps flexed, or the way the sun had turned his skin a golden brown.
‘Too right. Might as well make the most of this last blast of sunshine.’
They might have only met two weeks before, but Erin and Greg had become best friends since then. A frisson shimmered between them, some unspoken connection, but they were both content to settle for friendship. For now at least, Greg told himself.
He was dreading this afternoon though, because Adam was coming to visit, and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to contain his contempt for the man who’d stolen Erin’s heart so completely. He sounded, in Greg’s humble opinion, like an utter arse.
He stopped rowing for a minute and let the boat float lazily. A breeze rippled across the surface of the water and lifted Greg’s hair away from his face. He closed his eyes and held his face up to the sun.
‘Are we stopping?’ Erin said, leaning forward to poke him in the belly. He jumped as though he’d had an electric shock, and felt his face burn. He turned his head away and reached behind him for his rucksack.
‘I’ve brought a few things.’
‘Oooh, what is it?’ Erin said, trying to peer into the bag. Greg snatched it away and held it in the air.
‘Hey, hey, patience.’ He grinned.
‘Come on, what have you got in there?’ Erin half-stood and tried to swipe for the bag. But as she did she lost her balance and tipped forward and, as if in slow motion, she fell, landing on top of Greg, her palms against his chest and her face pressed right up against his. He thought his heart might stop beating as they lay there, momentarily stunned. It would be the easiest thing in the world to snake his arm round her, turn his head ever so slightly and kiss her, gently. But before he could do anything, the moment had passed, and Erin pushed her body off him, leaving him lying there, flooded with desire.
‘Oh God, I’m so sorry,’ she said, her face flushed, laughter bubbling out of her.
‘It’s all right,’ Greg said, sitting up and brushing non-existent dust from his shorts. ‘But that’s what you get for being impatient.’
‘Sorry.’ Erin stuck her bottom lip out and Greg had to look away. ‘But come on, show me what you’ve got in there.’
‘Well, it’s probably not that exciting now you’ve built it up so much, but here you go.’ He pulled a bottle out of his bag and handed it to Erin. ‘Ooh, Asti Spumante,’ she said, reading the label.
‘Yeah, sorry, it’s all I could afford. I reckon it’ll be okay though.’ He pulled out a couple of plastic pint glasses – ‘I swiped them from the Union’ – and a Tupperware box containing cheese slices, Jacob’s cream crackers, a bunch of grapes and a melted bar of Dairy Milk. ‘I got these too,’ he said, pulling out a tube of Pringles. ‘I know it’s not exactly high-end dining, but I thought it would be nice to have a little picnic. A bit of a celebration, you know…’ He trailed off, suddenly unsure of himself.
‘That’s so lovely,’ Erin said, yanking the top off the Pringles and peeling a couple of crisps from the top. ‘What are we celebrating?’
Greg looked at her for a moment as she chewed, watching her face for any reaction. Her eyes were wide and bright, her skin shone in the sunlight, her sunglasses pushed back on her head as the sun surrounded her like a halo. His own perfect angel, he thought.
‘Just – well…’ He stopped, took a breath. ‘Me and you. You know, our friendship.’ He gave a small smile. ‘I know it’s silly.’
‘It’s not silly at all; I think it’s lovely.’ She reached out and pressed her hand into his. His skin was warm where they touched and he pulled it away and picked up the bottle.
‘Want some?’
‘Of course!’ she said, crunching down on a cracker and holding out a plastic glass. ‘Fill me up!’
Those ninety minutes on the lake drinking cheap fizz and eating dry crackers on that sunny Friday afternoon were among the happiest of Greg’s life so far. They were alone, just the two of them, and he could get to know this wonderful, funny woman without anyone else interrupting. He could have stayed there forever, but of course all good things must come to an end, and in this case, they were brought to an abrupt end by a text message. He knew it was all over the minute Erin’s phone buzzed, and yet he still hoped otherwise.
‘It’s Adam,’ she said, squinting down at her phone. ‘He’s arrived.’
‘Oh, great,’ Greg said without a hint of enthusiasm.
‘Sorry Greg. This has been really lovely but do you mind if we head back now? I haven’t seen him for two weeks.’ The light that shone in her eyes felt like a dagger to his heart because he knew she was no longer thinking about him, but about Adam. Bloody Adam.
‘Sure,’ he said, taking up the oars once more and turning the boat round. The sun was behind him now and he rowed in silence, letting the lapping of the water and the occasional shriek from the nearby park fill his mind.
As they stepped onto the lake edge, there was a shout from a distance away. Greg turned and could make out the silhouette of a man heading their way.
‘Oh it’s him!’ Erin squealed, taking off, and Greg watched with a heavy heart as she launched herself at Adam. When they eventually peeled apart, Greg slung his rucksack over his shoulder and planted his feet firmly on the grass, his fists clenched, taking the time to study his rival. He had the rockstar look down to a tee – long scraggly hair, leather jacket (in this heat!), tight ripped jeans, fag hanging between his fingers. He looked like a total fucking cliché. But worse was the air of arrogance as he swaggered towards him, and it was all Greg could do to force a smile.
‘Greg, this is Adam,’ Erin gushed, her hand still clasping Adam’s tightly. ‘Adam, this is my friend, Greg.’
Greg tried not to bristle at the word ‘friend’ and stuck his hand out in greeting. ‘Nice to meet you,’ he said, and Adam shook his hand with a smirk.
‘I’m so excited you two can finally meet,’ Erin said, seemingly oblivious to Greg’s sudden change of mood. She turned and looked longingly at Adam. ‘It’s such a nice day; do you want to stay here and chill for a bit?’
Adam glanced round him, taking in the groups of students sitting in huddles, then looked at Greg. He shrugged. ‘I guess so. We’ve got plenty of time to be alone later eh?’
Greg had never wanted to punch someone so much in his life.
Even though the last thing Greg felt like doing was spending the rest of the day being a gooseberry, he also wasn’t ready to give up his day with Erin. So the three of them made their way to the slope of the riverbank, away from the boat hire, where Erin immediately pulled off her shoes and walked straight into the shallow water.
‘God, it’s freezing!’ She fizzed with laughter and Greg had to tear his gaze away from her. As he did he found Adam staring at him.
‘So, how long have you two been friends?’
‘We met in Fresher’s Week, so only a couple of weeks.’
Adam nodded. ‘Right.’ He looked back at Erin. ‘Great, isn’t she?’
Unsure whether it was a test, Greg hesitated. ‘Yes, she is,’ he said eventually. ‘How – how long have you two been together?’ He knew, but couldn’t think of anything else to say.
‘A year or so.’ He took his hat off and lay back on the grass, his arms behind his head. Greg hugged his knees into his chest.
‘Don’t you miss her when you’re away?’
‘Yeah, course. But I’ve got the band as well, and Erin gets that.’ He glanced over at Greg again. ‘I’m glad she’s met some new friends though. Someone to look after her.’ Was it Greg’s imagination or was there emphasis on the word ‘friends’? He met Adam’s gaze pointedly. ‘I’ll definitely look after her, don’t worry about that.’
The meaning sizzled in the air between them, so many unspoken words filling the gaps it was a wonder they could breathe. And then the moment was broken by the sound of someone nearby blasting out music from their speakers.
‘I love this song,’ Erin said, appearing in front of them both like a mirage, water running down her pale legs.
‘Oh, it’s “Hey Jealousy” by the Gin Blossoms,’ Adam said, deliberately not looking at Greg as he said the song title loud and clear.
‘It’s a great song,’ Greg said, ignoring the jibe.
Adam snorted.
‘What?’ Erin sat down between them, dripping cold water over them both. ‘It is a great song.’
‘It’s shit,’ Adam said. ‘Anodyne and trite.’ He sat up and pulled his hat back on. ‘You wouldn’t catch me playing something like this.’
‘Just as well we all like different things then, isn’t it?’ Greg said, the words ‘arrogant prick’ fortunately staying safely on the tip of his tongue.
Adam turned slowly to face him. ‘Yes grandma, I suppose it is.’ He grinned. ‘It’s still a shite song though.’
‘Oh stop it you two, it doesn’t really matter. You like it, you don’t. Let’s talk about something else now.’ Erin looked from one to the other and neither spoke. ‘Aren’t you going to get your feet wet? It’s gorgeous.’
‘Nope,’ Adam said, pointing down at his scuffed Doc Martens.
‘Greg?’ Erin said hopefully.
‘Go on then,’ he said, pulling off his pristine Reeboks and heading down to the water’s edge. But by the time he’d hitched up his jeans and turned round to see if she was following him, Erin and Adam were lying back on the grass, their faces pressed so close they were almost kissing. Greg thought he might scream. He turned away again and swallowed down a lump in his throat.
‘Sorry Greg, I think we’re going to go back to mine for a bit. Will you be all right on your own?’ Erin’s voice sailed through the air. He turned to see Adam sliding his hand up her thigh and Erin swatting it away, and he had to look away again.
‘Yeah, no worries. See you later.’
He watched the water lap against his feet, trying not to think about Erin and Adam together, trying not to think about anything. Out on the water there was a splash, trails of white flicking up as a couple had a water fight on a rowing boat. It had been such a lovely day, just him and Erin. But now the whole memory had been tainted, distorted by a feckless, selfish man who Erin was too blind to see was no good for her.
Well, it didn’t matter how long it took her. One day he would make her see that it was him she wanted. One day, she would look at Greg the way she looked at Adam.
One day.