Inservice 22

Dealing with Negative Co-Workers

PURPOSE

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Negative Nelly

Negative Nelly teaches at my school

She thinks that being negative is cool

She warns of bad students, bad adults, and bad things

Each day, it’s a song of doom that she sings

She’s managed to acquire a very small following

Of other naysayers intent on wallowing

In gossip and pettiness and bitterness and complaints

All who will listen, Nelly gladly taints

So do not listen, and do not follow

In anything negative, do not wallow

Just be the most optimistic teacher you know

And down Nelly’s path, you’ll never go.

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You know this teacher. She’s on every faculty, and there’s just no pleasing her. The students are bad, the parents are bad, the administration is bad, and bashing all of them is good. She is probably a good person, somewhere deep down, but she has developed a very bad habit, one that is actually quite dangerous on any school campus.

Although it’s obvious that Negative Nelly (or Nelson) is not very popular with the majority of the faculty (or students or parents), and many tend to avoid her, at all costs, most of your teachers do not realize that they don’t have to avoid her at all. Instead, they can use some simple techniques to defuse Nelly and her negative behavior. Today you’ll show them how.

INSERVICE

Begin the inservice by sharing the poem about Negative Nelly. Then say, You may have never yet encountered this type of teacher, but some day you might. What you’ve done here is given Nelly an “out.” Maybe you’re not speaking about her. Maybe you haven’t noticed that she leans in a negative direction. Maybe no one else has noticed. Or have they? You see, you’ve got Nelly thinking. You’ve got her followers listening. And you’ve already got the positive teachers silently cheering you on.

Next, ask the following questions:

• Have you ever known a negative person? No names, please. Just get that person in your mind.
• How do you feel around that person?
• How do others feel around that person?
• Have you ever known a negative teacher? Maybe you were taught by a negative teacher when you were in school? Again, no names, please.
• How was that teacher viewed by you and others?
• Did you or others try to avoid that teacher?
• Was that teacher a little intimidating?
• What kind of influence do you think a Negative Nelly (or Nelson) would have on a faculty or on students?

Discuss the fact that most teachers tend to avoid Negative Nelly. Worse yet, some even engage in negative conversations with her. It’s not necessarily that they enjoy it, but many don’t know what else to do. Tell them that today you’ll show them a very productive (and fun) way to stop avoiding her and start removing her fuse. Say, I’m going to show you all how to strip Nelly (if you should ever meet her) of all her power.

You may be thinking, “But Negative Nelly will be sitting in this meeting. Once I share the secrets of defusing her, she’ll know what the others are doing when they use these techniques on her.” Exactly.

Here are a few quick and easy ways for your teachers to remove Nelly’s power and to send a message, loudly and clearly, that they won’t become her followers:

• The next time Nelly speaks unkindly about a student, simply say, “I love that student.” Even if you’ve never met that student, say, “I love that student.” Nelly will have no comeback for that, and you will have made a very powerful, positive statement about how you feel about students.
• For teachers new to the faculty, Nelly is a magnet. She loves warning of the bad students they will be teaching. When she does, there’s a trick to defusing her. Simply say, “Thank you so much for telling me about these students. These kinds of students are the reason I became a teacher. You obviously must care a lot about them to have taken time out of your busy schedule to come and speak with me about them. I’m so glad they’ll be in my classroom. They obviously need caring teachers such as you and me. I’ll keep you posted on their progress.”
• If Nelly ever approaches you offering any type of gossip, you can always say, “I’d love to chat, but I’m in a rush. See you later.” And then leave. Gossip is hot. She’ll quickly feel the need to find another listening ear. But if you’re all using this technique, her gossip will never travel!
• When Nelly speaks unkindly about a parent, say, “Whenever I think about the fact that not all parents rear their children as we wish they did, I quickly remind myself of how lucky some students are to spend so many hours with positive people like us at school each day.”

IMPLEMENTATION

Tell your teachers that the bottom line is that Nelly continues her negativism because someone is enabling her. Challenge them never to be enablers of negative teachers. Tell them there’s just no place for Negative Nelly in a school setting.

Send them off with two tasks: (1) to attempt to use the techniques you just shared if they ever encounter Nelly or one of her followers, and (2) to send you a quick note or stop by to tell you about their successes in using these techniques. Now you’ve really put the ball in Nelly’s court. She’s now going to be very careful about saying anything negative about anyone. First, it would be embarrassing to recognize that some of her co-workers are using these techniques on her, and second, she’s worried that someone might report her if she does. Nelly is much less powerful already. From enabled to disabled in ten minutes!