Jake
The events of the last couple of days were weighing on me, and I couldn't tell just anybody what I'd been through. I picked up the phone to call Preston. I knew he'd understand. I knew that in my soul. If I was going to tell anyone, it was him.
When Preston opened the door, I could see the concern in his face. We walked into the living room and I sat down. I couldn't imagine how to start. Preston sat on the couch and I thought for a moment about how I was going to tell him. After a few seconds of quiet, I realized I was stalling. I just decided to tell him the whole damn story from the beginning. I knew that for this whole thing to make any sense at all I had to leave nothing out.
"You know how you stopped giving me relationship advice because I never took it anyway? Well, now I'm asking for your help. Something strange is happening to me and I don't understand it. It all happened so fast. Yesterday I was heading downstairs from my apartment to go to the library when I ran into a neighbor of mine. He lives downstairs and he gives me the creeps. Every time I'd pass him in the hall, he'd look at me funny. I avoid him whenever I can, but that day, when I stepped off the stairs, his door was open, and he was standing in the entry. I said 'hello' not to be rude and he stopped me and started chatting.
"'You're that guy who lives upstairs, aren't you?' he said. 'I'm Robert. I've seen you in the hall, but we never really met.'
"So I said 'Hi' and introduced myself. He reached out, shook my hand, and said, 'I'd like to show you my apartment. I'm an artist and I just hung some of my works up to kind of decorate the place.'"
Preston had that look on his face. I'd seen it before. When he looked like that I'd always felt like he was getting ahead of me, making a judgement before he'd heard me out, like he knew something I didn't. I hated it when he did that because he'd keep it to himself and then drop the bomb. He'd started doing that when I was telling him about my boyfriends. At the time, I ignored it because I knew he had like zero experience with dating guys. This time was different. This wasn't like bragging. This time I was embarrassed, but determined to tell him the story and get his advice. I hated hearing advice from him, but he was usually right.
"At first, I thought it was odd, maybe even pushy, but being an artist I figured he wanted to show off his work. A few minutes later, I'd seen the paintings on the walls and the sculptures that decorated the tables. He really is talented. It wasn't long before he was leading me down the hallway toward the bedroom, showing me his paintings and photographs lining the walls.
"I don't know what it is about him that upsets me so much. He's never been rude to me or even talked to me before now. There was just something about him that I can't stand. It's sort of a knowing look, like my brother used to have when he knew I was about to get in trouble, when I didn't know yet."
Preston interrupted, asking me what he looked like. Realizing he wanted a visual, I started to describe him as best I could.
"He's taller than me, has dirty blonde hair that's really straight and kind of long. He's darker skinned than I am, and his chest is hairless, but he's nicely built. He has a six pack that will… take… your breath away."
Preston waved his hands to stop me. "Hold on, you didn't tell me he had his shirt off."
"I'm getting there. Let me finish. Now, he's got these big hands and feet too. I mean massive. He wears a size thirteen shoe."
"Stop. He's showing you his artwork and you asked him his shoe size?"
"No. Not exactly. I never asked, I just saw it later."
"Later?"
"Would you stop interrupting me? Now, where was I? Oh yeah, his eyes are green. Actually, now that I think about it, for a guy who gives me the creeps, he's really kind of a stud.
"Anyway, as we got to the bedroom, he followed me in to show me more of his paintings. I turned to make a comment about one of them, and he was right behind me. I just stood there. I'd forgotten what I was going to say. For a few seconds we just stared at each other. It made me a little uncomfortable, so I stepped back to casually wander out of the bedroom, planning to leave, when he closed the door in front of me.
"He had that look again. I'd recognized it from the hallway. Before I could get around him, he wrapped his hand around my belt buckle and pulled me up close. I couldn't take my eyes off him and for some reason I felt powerless to stop him.
"Before I knew it, he'd buried his face in my neck. He was smelling that tiny bit of cologne I like to use. Then he turned his head and kissed me. He's actually a good kisser. Then he whispered into my ear, 'Do you want to undress?' Now is that an asshole or what? Why would he just assume I wanted to get naked with a guy I just met? The thing is, he's kind of cute and normally that wouldn't bother me in the least, but it was his attitude. I felt like I had to do it."
"What did you say?"
"Again, with the questions. I told you to listen; I'll get to it. I didn't say anything. I just kicked off my shoes. I felt like the first time a guy ever came onto me. I wasn't sure he really meant it… you know what I mean? About then, he started to unbutton my shirt.
"Then he said—no, more like ordered, 'Take your pants off.'
"'Oh… sure,' I told him. By that time, I figured he was for real, even if he was a tad on the direct side. What the hell, I thought. He's nice looking and I've got some time even if he is a bit creepy. He reached down, opened my belt buckle, and before I knew it, I'd slipped out of my pants. I was almost totally naked, but he was completely dressed.
"I was getting paranoid again, like he was seeing how far he could get the gay guy from upstairs to go. Is he just playing games with me, I thought. I was about to reach down and grab my pants and get out of there when he finally told me to help him with his shoes.
"'Sure,' I said. I dropped down and untied the knots in his sneakers. Then I slipped them off one by one. That's when I saw his shoe size. When I peeled off his socks, I was stunned. I just stared for a few seconds at those feet of his.
"'What's keeping you?' he asked.
"'It's just that you have really nice feet. No seriously, you could be a model. Your feet are perfect.' I looked up at him while I was explaining, and he was smiling that creepy smile of his again. 'Unbuckle my belt,' he said. I thought it might have been nice if he'd asked or done it himself, but it didn't seem like a good time to split hairs, so I reached up and unbuckled it."
I could tell that Preston was getting a kick out of my story. "So… you're on your knees, he's standing and telling you to unbuckle his belt. I have an image and I'm dying to hear what you did next."
"Shut up, Preston, get that look off your face. I'm going to tell you everything." Then I continued the story.
"When he slid off his pants, I could see he was already getting hard. It pressed against his briefs, curving downward, straining at the fabric.
"He saw me staring and said, 'You like that don't you?'
"The thing is, I think I did. I finally looked up and told him that yes, I liked it.
"Something was happening to me, Preston. Robert kept asking me questions and telling me what to do, and I just… did it."
"He dropped his briefs and I must have reacted, you know, made a noise or something, because he snickered. My gaze was frozen. I was looking at the most beautiful, tempting thing I'd ever seen, and it was throbbing right there in front of me. He was… magnificent. The whole thing curved forward, bobbing up and down. He had the dark hair neatly trimmed, but not shaved. It ran all the way up to his navel.
"A tiny drop at the very tip was already shining in the light from the window. He leaned over, placed his palms on the sides of my head, turned my face up to him, bent over, and kissed me. I was surprised. He seemed like the kind of guy that just wanted to get off and get out. You know the type."
"Not really," Preston said, reminding me that he'd only been with one guy.
"I was still kneeling, and he was holding me in place exploring my mouth with his tongue. He licked across my lips and whispered. 'You're gonna put it in your mouth, aren't you?'
"I just nodded. Honestly, I didn't know what else to do. We both knew it was gonna happen, so why play games, I thought. Everything he said was true.
"He reached behind my head and pushed me onto him in one slow movement, until he was deep inside. I'd never been with a guy shaped like him. His curvature fit perfect. It didn't curve up at the back of my throat like other guys. He just kept pulling me forward. I was expecting to gag, but I didn't.
"He still held my head with both hands. Rocking back and forth he went deeper and deeper until I had to swallow it. Then he pushed some more… all the way. Preston, it was amazing. Everything he had was down my throat. I held my breath while he rocked back and forth. He'd pull out just long enough for me to catch my breath. By the time he stopped I felt kind of lost. I'd never been with anyone who just took what they wanted even though he sort of asked each time. All the while this was going on, I wanted to be outraged, but instead I hoped he'd never stop."
The know-it-all look on Preston's face was gone. My words were apparently getting to him. "Dude, that sounds so hot."
"I know…right? Let me finish, there's more. I really want your advice, but you need to hear it all. Anyway… he pulled his t-shirt off and leaned to one side. I was holding him by the thighs. He reached down and pulled one of my hands away and put a tube of lube in it. I looked up and saw his six-pack and chest. 'You want me… to lube… you up?' I asked.
"'Would you rather I not use lube?' he said. That creepy smile of his was back, so I looked down. I saw that curve bouncing in front of me, imagining what he was about to do with it. I didn't want to say anything, so I started slathered the lube all over it. I don't know why, but I knew I had to do anything he said, and I was getting off on it.
"His bedroom floor had nice thick carpet. Once I had him lubed, he squatted down in front of me and rolled me onto my back, right there on the floor. Lifting my legs, he ran a finger over the lube I'd administered so carefully and inserted a slick finger inside me, taking a minute or two to lube me up and get me relaxed. Then he put the head in place and just sort of pushed. A second later he was balls deep. The thing is I think I wanted it so bad it didn't hurt, not even at first. He started rocking and his speed kept building. Before long, it felt like he was pounding me, but he was actually pulling me onto him really hard, driving deep. After a while he slowed down, leaned into me, looked down a second, closed his eyes and kissed me again. This time it was different. We were tied in an embrace, he was deep inside and I felt his whole body pinned against mine. And I was kissing him back like there was no tomorrow."
Preston interrupted me again even though I'd continually asked him not to. " Stop. You didn't say anything about reaching for a condom. Didn't he use protection?"
I could see the judgement in Preston's face. I took a deep breath and continued. "I'm getting there," I said. "Just wait. So, I realized that he'd forgotten something. 'We aren't using a condom. You have to stop.'"
"He pushed inside and laid his weight on me again, whispering into my ear. 'It's okay, I just got my school physical. I'm clean and you're the only guy I've ever done this with. So we can do this as long as it's just us.'
"I've always been the poster boy for safe sex; you know that. I started thinking he was one of those conceited assholes. You know the kind. The guys who spread everything because they think it could never happen to them. At the same time, I was getting excited that he intended to do this regularly. Then my will to stop him was just out the window. I knew in a few minutes he was going to let go inside me and I wanted that.
"He pulled back and looked down at me with that look of his and said, 'I'll stop right now if you want me to.'
"Even though I'd told him he had to stop, my desire overcame my good sense. 'No please… don't stop,' was all I could say.
"Can you believe I did that? Why would I ever let him do that to me?
"A few seconds later, holding me tight with our mouths still intertwined, he made a noise and I felt him getting thicker and pushing just a little deeper.
"He finally sat back, staying inside. He stared down at me and rocked back and forth really hard pushing into me as deep as he could. A few seconds later I totally glazed myself. I'd never even been touched.
"He laid his body down in the mess, ran his pecs up and down, smearing it over both of us. He was still hard and deep inside. He'd pulled me down so he'd be as deep as possible a few more times and I knew he'd already shot. His muscles relaxed, and he just laid his full weight on me as he caught his breath.
"I didn't know what to say. He got up and said, 'Stay,' like I was some kind of dog. He stepped away and dashed into the bathroom, just long enough to toss me a wet rag to clean myself off with. After that, we got dressed, and I headed for the door.
"He called out after me. 'Stop. Give me your cell number.'
"I told him my number and he punched it into his phone. 'What's your…last…name?' I was speechless, realizing I'd just been royally pounded, then bred by a guy who didn't know my last name, even worse, I didn't know his. He grabbed my phone and started punching in his information. A minute later he showed me an icon on the home screen. He swung his arm around my shoulder and said, 'The next time you need me just hit that little icon.' Can you believe the nerve of that guy? He just assumed I needed him and would be calling him.
"What an ass. I know I say that a lot, but it's the perfect word for a guy like that. Like I'd even consider calling him, whatever made him think I'd do that?
"On the way to the library where I was originally going, I planned to tell him the next day that this wasn't about to happen again, but this morning I was exhausted. I'd spent half the night berating him and half the night fantasizing about him."
Preston had that look again. Maybe it was the way he held his mouth, I couldn't put my finger on it, but I'd seen it a thousand times. While I hated it, I knew it meant he knew something I needed to know. He stood up and clarified what I'd just told him. "So, you spent the whole night thinking about him one way or the other."
"Well yeah, I guess so, but let me finish. I decided there's no time like the present, so I marched down to his apartment, and knocked on his door.
"He opened up the door with that smile of his and ushered me in, swinging the door wide open.
"After he'd closed the door behind us, he walked over to a big chair in the corner and sat down so his ass was on the edge. He spread his legs and said, 'Come here.'
"He was sitting there in a pair of shorts and nothing else. Those feet of his were getting my attention again. How someone that size has feet that big I'll never know. I was trying to phrase my words better than the ones I'd planned. He was being nice to me and I wasn't as mad as I'd been when I started down the stairs. Then he said, 'You're looking at my feet again, aren't you?'
"'Yeah,' I said. 'You just have really nice feet. I don't have a foot thing or anything like that. They're just really nice.'
"So, he looks at me with this puzzled look on his face. 'Are you really sure? I mean, that you don't have a foot thing?'
"'Yeah, I think I'd know if I did,' I said.
"He grinned at me. It kind of reminded me of the way you're looking right now. Anyway, he said, 'Not necessarily. You don't know if you have a thing until you try it. It's okay with me if you do. I get a kick out of your foot compliments. You ever put a man's foot in your mouth?'
"My mind was racing. 'No, absolutely not!" Nobody'd ever talked to me like that guy. He was so direct and pointed.
"Then he said, 'Do it! Don't think about it, just get down on all fours and do it… NOW! You know you want to. If you like it, you'll know. I just got out of the shower, so do it!'
"I was shocked! 'You want me to put your foot in my mouth?' I said with a hint of outrage, but Preston… I was already starting to kneel.
"'Besides,' he says, 'I want to see how my foot feels in your mouth, so stop thinking about it and just do it… NOW!'
"Preston, a few seconds later, I was on my knees running my tongue between his toes and licking the bottom his feet. A few seconds later, I was trying to fit all five toes in my mouth. I was so turned on. I don't know if it was his order that turned me on or if I actually do have a foot thing. I never noticed before him.
"I looked up at him, with his toes still in my mouth and he was smiling down at me, opening his shorts. I pulled myself up off of his foot for a better look and to get into position, when all of sudden he ordered me back down. 'Put my foot back in your mouth. I like it.' Preston, before I could even think about it, his foot was in my mouth again. When I ran my tongue between his toes, I wondered if it tickled but he didn't say a word.
"After a while, he reached down and grabbed my hair, pulling me into position. This time, he didn't give me a command. He just pointed. I grabbed his shorts and pulled them down to the floor and off one foot. He wasn't wearing briefs.
"I jumped back into position and pushed his legs apart. I started to lean forward only to feel the butt of his palm against my forehead stopping me. 'Do you want something?' he asked.
'"Yes, I thought you wanted me to…'
"'I'm not interested in what I want right now. You'll do whatever I want. I want to know what you want.' Grabbing himself he waved it around and said, 'Is this what you like?'
"'I do,' I said. 'Really, I'd like that… a lot.'
"'Do you want it enough to ask for it?'
"I was floored. So I started to let him have it. 'You expect me to…'
"He stops me mid-sentence and says, 'You're going to be doing this a lot, and I need to know if you'll ask for it. So just answer the question.'
"By this time, I really just wanted to get busy, you know what I mean? So I just asked. 'Can I please…'
"'What was that last word?' he said.
"Rage began to boil in the pit of my stomach. He expected me to beg him for the honor to suck him. Meaning to be sarcastic, I begged him again. 'Please… Sir, can I suck your magnificent beautiful tool?' As soon as I was done, he grinned, and patted me on the head like a dog. After I thought about it a second, I realized that I hadn't sounded sarcastic at all, but actually sounded kind of pitiful.
"I could see he was spreading his legs farther apart to welcome me. Within seconds I leaned forward, took him deep, and went to work. For the next few minutes I worked on him like it was my only purpose in life. I was filled with passion, wanting to give him the best blow job he'd ever experience. It was wonderful, but somehow it didn't feel like me. It was like I was someone else, but whoever I was, I was having the time of my life.
"Before I could finish him off, he stood up, pulled me up off the floor and marched me back to his bedroom. In one quick motion he pulled my shorts off, bent me over the bed, and with a little spit he slowly slid back inside. I was still aching from before. After withdrawing and thrusting back inside, he pushed me down on the bed. My feet were still on the floor. Gradually he pushed me up onto the bed by thrusting from the inside watching me crawl up a little with each thrust. Once I was on the bed he grabbed my hands and pinned me in place. 'This is the way you want it, isn't it?'
'"Yes,' I whispered. By that time, he had me. I wanted it just like that and he seemed to know it.
"Then he starts playing games with me again. He says, 'Yes what?'
"So by now I've got this guy down pat. He wanted to make me feel bad, but I didn't. So, I figure I'm going to play along. 'Yes, Sir.'
"He continued thrusting into me and then he stopped. He lay there on my back without moving.
"'Is anything wrong, Sir?' I asked.
"'No. Nothing wrong.'
"'Okay,' I said. I didn't know what else to say. He continued to be motionless inside me. It seemed so out of place. 'Are you sure,' I finally broke in.
"'Do you want me to move?' I couldn't tell for sure, but I thought I felt a throb.
"'Yes… Sir," I said.
"'How much?' he asked.
"'A lot, Sir.'
"'Do you want it enough?' His question puzzled me. I wasn't sure what he meant.
"'Enough?
"Then it started to make some sense to me. 'Tell me how much you want it.'
"He apparently wanted me to beg again. The whole thing didn't sit well with me, but he obviously got something out of it and I knew he'd never move again until I begged him, and I really wanted it. At that moment, I needed it more than anything.
"Now that I knew this was one of the things that really turned him on I couldn't resist. 'Sir…I want you to move. I want you to hold me down and take what you need. I want you to do it over and over. I never want you to stop. Please do it hard. Give me everything you've got. I… need… you.'
"'Good boy,' he said. 'Now that wasn't so hard was it?' He plunged deep inside and began to pound me like he too wanted only that and never wanted it to end. He lasted a lot longer than I thought he could and finally slowed down. His pounding was deeper, and it felt like he was breathing deeper, and then his breathing stopped altogether as a kind of grunt told me he was finishing deep inside. In a couple of seconds, I could feel his breath on my neck as his muscular frame rested on my back, but he didn't move and I didn't want him to. I guess that's his usual MO.
"As I lay there, I remembered I'd come to tell him off, but once again I'd followed every instruction he'd given me.
"After a couple of minutes lying there with him draped across my back, I began to stir as an indication that it might be time to get up. 'Don't move. I'm not done,' he said. 'My folks will be coming into town tomorrow to take me to dinner. I won't be able to do this for you tomorrow.'
"As you might imagine, the 'for you' comment pissed me off. I was about to tell him to go to hell. The very idea that he was just doing this for me made me feel dirty. Then he said, 'So I'm going to do it for you again right now.'
"I don't know why, but as he started to move again the rage I'd been building flew out the window and in seconds I was pushing up to meet his thrusts. For a creep, he's actually great in bed, and the idea that I could use him as much as he uses me started to seem appealing, but his power over me was unacceptable. He was still just as hard as he was a few minutes earlier. He began to pump with renewed vigor. 'This will take longer than the last time,' he said. I realized later that he was telling the truth.
"I just seemed to go somewhere else. I wanted him to hold me there with his body pinned against me holding me down and thrusting into me forever. For that moment, I was the biggest bottom boy I'd ever been. He felt incredibly good, different than anything I've ever experienced. When he finished his second round, he climbed off my back and I rolled over. I reached down to feel the stiffness that was waiting for me and he slapped my hand away. 'Not today,' he said. 'I want you good and ready when you come back, day after tomorrow. You can wait till then, right?'"
As I continued the story, Preston started to pace with that same smirk on his face, but now he looked happy about it. I figured when my story was through he was going to razz me something awful. I'd expected that before I started. I knew it wasn't a judgement, not with Preston. When he was done razzing me, I knew he'd give me good advice. For a guy with no experience, he was uncommonly knowledgeable.
"So, after you did all of that, he told you to wait for two days, ordering you to refrain from any sex to guarantee you'll be ready when he summons you. Dude, that's kind of hot."
I could see he was already scheming, putting together a solution. I'd been through a number of problems over the time I'd known him, and he'd never failed me.
"So did anything else happen before you left?" Preston seemed to be enjoying this.
"When I got over the idea that he expected me to wait two days, he gave me an ultimatum. 'Listen carefully to me,' he said. 'This is going to continue, so you need to do just as I say.'
"When I was about to leave, he stopped me. 'You know, now that I think of it, since we have to skip tomorrow, I think I'll need you again about seven o'clock tonight. Does that work for you?'
"I turned around, considering for a minute that now was the time to shut him down, but instead I just nodded my head. I went back to my apartment and decided to call you. I need help finding a way to let this guy down.
"I sat on my bed. I knew I had to call you for advice, but I needed to sit down a few minutes first to calm down. I was totally outraged, but at the same time I was thrilled, like I'd just received a proposal where I didn't get a say.
"I have until seven o'clock to somehow decide what to do. I can allow him to use me any way he pleases, or I can go tell him to shove it. Being in that position scares the hell of me. The thing is, when he's in the room with me, it's hard to stay mad, but when I see him tonight, I need to tell him something. I can't just let him use me like that. If I do, I'll never be able to… well I don't know what, but something just isn't right. I can feel it.
"The most frightening thing is I keep handing myself over to him and I'm afraid I'll do it again. I've been doing a piss-poor job of telling him off. So there, I'm done. What do you think?"
"I hate to tell you this," Preston finally said. "But you're not ever going to let that guy down. I'll bet you ten bucks that a couple of years from now you're married to that boy. He sounds super hot. Why would you want to get rid of him?"
"Because of the way he treats me. He seems to have assumed that I am his piece of meat to do with as he pleases."
"Well, that's because you are."
"No, I'm not! I don't belong to him."
"Yes, you do. He's dominating you and you've fallen right into place. From what you just told me you're totally a submissive. He obviously sensed that, and apparently, he's taken with you. That's the creepy look in the hallway you told me about. When he told you, he wasn't going to do that with anyone else he was telling you something. Were you even listening?"
"I'm not submissive."
"Are we back to that? That's a given as far as I'm concerned. Listen a minute and see what you think. When he tells you to do something, or if he even suggests it, you have to do it. Right?"
"Yeah," I said. "Why is that?"
"You can't help it. You need to please him. It's who you are. He knew you were a sub. He probably doesn't know what it's even called, because he sounds like a natural Dom. It's time you realized that you're a natural sub."
"But I can't stand him."
"You're crazy about him. Listen to me. You let him shoot inside of you because you wanted him to. Then you let him do it again… twice. You put his foot in your mouth, for God's sake."
"Oh… my God. You're right. I am a sub. I do anything he tells me to. I get all queasy if he orders me. He makes me beg for him and I do it. How did this happen? I've never been like that before. When did I get so weak?"
"Weak? What the hell are you talking about? You know you're not weak. Before you can be a decent sub you have to put your own insecurities to rest. You can't submit your will to someone else unless you're already comfortable with who you are. You're confusing voluntary submission with fear and intimidation. You aren't afraid of Robert, are you?"
"Well, no."
"He made it happen and you were ready for it. Jake, it's not a bad thing. Look I can tell you're a sub because well… I'm a sub too. I think I always knew. Maybe that's why I waited so long to start. I read all about it when I was doing my research."
"You mean Kyle is a Dom?"
*~*~*
Preston
"Yes, he is. I'm not supposed to tell you what we… do, but he never had me do the foot thing. Then again, he also doesn't have Robert's feet. Hey, this could be great. Now we have each other to talk to. Being a sub tends to be something you don't spread around. Most people just don't get it."
For the next hour I violated my promise to Kyle and told Jake about our relationship and my own special feelings. I explained the importance of finding their own path and how trust was vital to the whole thing.
While I was advising Jake, I was careful not to mention that Dexter was also a sub. That was his business and something he'd have to tell Jake himself. Having my two best friends share this terribly intimate propensity was wonderful. I was taking a risk assuming that perhaps Kyle was referring to people outside the lifestyle when he made me make that promise. Jake was definitely a member.
When I was done, Jake had a new look on his face. This time he seemed worried. "Well, that's all great," He said. "It is nice to have someone I trust to talk to about this, but now I'm worried."
"About what?"
"Losing him. I still don't know if he's being dominant because he's a Dom or if he's really just an ass. Up until a few minutes ago my vote was 'ass.' If I didn't understand that I was doing as he commanded because I like it, why should he?'
"You need to talk to him tonight. You said you were supposed to see him at seven?"
"Seven tonight. He ordered me to return when I was leaving."
"That's so hot," I said. "He ordered you back to perform for him? Perfect."
"I'm not used to talking to him. Mostly I just obey."
"Understood. Just don't beat around the bush. Make it immediate and short. That's what I did with Kyle. Look right at him and say, 'Are you a Dom? Are we getting into a dominant-submissive relationship? Because if we are, I want to hear what that means for you.' Look at it this way; you can't sub well for him if you have this hanging over your head. Can you?"
"You know Preston, I think my day is going to be shot until I know one way or the other. I'm going over there right now."
As he started to leave, I called after him, "Go easy on him. Remember, this is probably all new to him. You didn't understand you were a sub and he may not understand either. This could open up a lot of new doors for both of you. Once he understands where you're coming from and the effect he can have over you he might get creative. Oh, and Jake, we're having that dinner over here on Friday so if you can, bring him along."
"You know, if this goes well, I'll ask him. It would be good to get to know him on another level."
When Jake walked out the door, I felt like my batteries were charged. If this worked out, I'd have two friends I could confide in. The three of us were being pulled away from one another by our own individual romances and I'd been wanting to bring us all back together. Kyle didn't even know my friends who meant so much to me. Now it all seemed so ideal. Apparently, we all had one very important thing in common. I realized looking back how the three of us had grown so close so fast. We were all too similar.
The next morning, I was already on campus and heading for the library when my phone rang. "Are you at home?" Jake asked.
"I'm on campus, but I have a few minutes. What happened?"
"Well, when I got back I knew I had to deal with Robert. I just had to know. I went straight to his door and knocked. He was getting ready to leave, so it didn't look like I'd have a lot of time. Robert answered the door and before he had a chance to say anything I blurted it out. 'Are you and I in a dominant-submissive relationship?'
"His face fell, and he looked shocked, almost panicked. I had a feeling it was not going well, but instead it might backfire. Looking up and down the hall to make sure that nobody was around he pulled me into his apartment, shut the door, then hissed, 'Relationship? You think I'm gay'?
"Can you imagine that? I had a bigger job than I thought I did. I didn't even know what to say to that. I wasn't prepared to deal with a guy who was so far in the closet that he still thought he was messing around like some kind of pre-pubescent kid. Messing around didn't involve heavy making out, at least not for me.
"I knew full well he was gay or at least seriously bi. I was furious, but I also pitied him for not having dealt with it yet. 'Look,' I said. 'As crazy as it sounds, you are gay.' I was so upset I just headed for the door. When I got there, I stopped and turned around. 'Robert,' I said. 'When you're sitting here alone tonight thinking about this and it gets to be seven o'clock and I'm not here, I want you to remember me looking up at you with your foot… in my mouth. I want you to think about how I was willing to do anything you asked of me and just how that made you feel. You need to know that I'm not afraid or intimidated by you. But most of all, I need you to know I think I really like you and if you don't get over the ridiculous idea that you might not be gay or at least bi you're going to ruin the best thing that ever happened to you. On top of that, you'll never feel the way I made you feel today. Like it or not, you're coming out some day. If you wait, I'll be long gone. All you have to do is come up and get me. But if you do, it means you not only know you're gay but you're my Dom, mine. It's up to you.'
"Then I walked out. When I got to my apartment, I slammed the door, sat in my bedroom, and cried. I can't imagine him taking me that far and not even seeing himself as gay. I was ready for 'I'm not a Dom' but not 'I'm not gay!'"
"Yeah that's a bit much to swallow," I said. "So did he go to you?"
"Well, let me finish. Then, last night there was a knock at the door. Robert was standing on the other side. He had a sheepish look on his face. I think he'd been crying, too. Looking at the floor he said, 'I'm yours, just like you said.'
"I gestured him in, closed the door behind us, and threw my arms over his shoulders. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and we just stood there with our arms around each other. With everything we'd done, he'd never held me before. I buried my head into his right shoulder and he was leaning against mine. I glanced at my watch. It was seven o'clock. I told him, 'I know what it's like to wake up one day and realize, whether you like it or not, you're gay. Almost all of us think of the playing around we did as kids as experimenting. In the end our hearts give us away.'
"He pulled his head back to look at me and said, 'I think I want to keep you around.'
"I told him that wouldn't be too hard. I'm crazy about him, Preston. He's got nothing to worry about, I'm not going anywhere. The thing is, I barely know the guy.
"Later, after we were done… you know, he rolled over and said, 'So I'm a Dom?'
"'Yeah and there's someone I haven't even met yet, who I want you to talk to. We've been invited to dinner on Friday, at my best friend's house. He's a sub and his boyfriend's a Dom like you. He might be able to explain more about that side of it. Maybe you can even get a few pointers. I can't explain any of it because this is as new to me as it is to you.'"