Seventy

The scream of a cougar brought Night Shadow Star wide awake in her blankets. She’d heard it before on this trip, but at a distance, far back in the forest. That it was so close—her thought was that it had been at the foot of her bed—had her heart pounding in her throat, her every muscle tense.

She stared around the dark camp, seeing the porters and their dogs outlined by the glow of their fire not five paces from the one she and Winder shared. As the dogs barked their warnings, the porters, too, were sitting up, staring out at the inky forest that rose above their camp.

“She-cat,” Winder told her from his blankets. “Probably with kittens. My guess? She was leading the young ones on a hunt. Some trick of the wind hid our scent until the last instant. That we were so close and so many, not to mention the smell of the fire and dogs, must have given her a real start.”

“What do we do? How do we defend ourselves in the dark?”

“She’s long gone, Lady.”

“I didn’t hear her leave. Remember those elk we spooked yesterday? You could hear them crash and bash all the way up the mountain.”

“Those were elk, these are cougars. Nothing is as silent in the forest as a cougar. Well, maybe an owl. I’ve had them glide past my ear and not a sound. Nothing but silence.”

“How do you know all this?”

“How do you not?”

At the other fire, the porters were talking and laughing, quieting their dogs and lying back down in their blankets, obviously relieved.

“I lived all my life in Cahokia.” She felt like she was physically forcing her heart back down into her chest. “This whole trip has been a learning experience. The rivers, the forest, the camps and creatures. I almost got lost once back downriver where we camped at Maygrass Town. Went for a walk in the forest. Got turned around. Started to panic. And I remembered something one of the Traders said: ‘Follow the water. It will always lead you to the river.’”

“Good advice.”

“But I’ll never forget that sense of panic, of being lost. Terrible feeling, suddenly having no idea where you are, which way to go. That you might lose everything, flounder about and starve alone.”

“It is.”

“What about you? You were raised in Cahokia. You came from the city. Where did you learn about cougars and owls?”

“That was part of becoming an ‘influential’ man. I was already rich, but being a big man? Depending upon which people you’re living among out here that can mean a lot of things. For many it involves having some kind of skills in the forest. The forest, you see, is in their blood. Real men are hunters, warriors, people who can survive in the backcountry. Either I learned, or I would have been the subject of ridicule and derision.”

She lay back in her blankets, listening to the crickets, heard the plaintive call of a nightjar. And in the far distance, high up the mountain, the eerie howl of a wolf carried over the rushing sounds of the river down below them.

I am, once again, becoming someone else.

Did it never stop? Was the woman called Night Shadow Star as shifting and impermanent as a sandbar on the river? Here one season, then washed away and re-formed somewhere else downstream in the river of life.

“How many peoples have you lived with?”

“A great many,” he told her.

“How many women do you have?”

“A great many.”

She laughed at that. “And you would still add me to your list?”

“Faster than a heartbeat.”

“You’re more of a scoundrel than Seven Skull Shield.”

“Less, actually. The difference between us is that I try to keep mine.”

“It would never work.”

“Because you’re a lady and I was an orphan? You never know. I might have been one of Black Tail’s sons, stolen from birth by Spirit Raven to grow up as an orphan in the city, only to become a wealthy Trader who would be there for you to fall in love with. The ending of the story is that together we remake the world and unite Power. Or at least, that’s how it will be told on down through the ages.”

“Nice try.”

“Stories have to begin somewhere. Come, slip over here to my blankets. It’s a cool night, let me share my warmth. Two people, alone like this on a long journey, it might just be comfort, or perhaps, if we give it a try, we really can spin that magical story.”

“Just like that?”

“It’s only coupling, Lady. A man and a woman doing what men and women have done from the Beginning Times. And, just because we share moments of pleasure and delight, I’ll make no claim on you.”

“Indeed. Just a passing comfort?”

“A moment for the souls to enjoy the reassuring sensation of another caring body against yours. Just a hard shaft and a willing sheath. That burst of delight down in your hips, and then the security of being held close, warm, and safe.”

“And if you plant a child?”

“I assume you know your body well enough to know when a man’s seed might take root. I have no problem avoiding that quarter moon when your loins are fertile. Nor am I squeamish, given that you neglected to inform us of your flux a couple of days ago. By the way, that was admirably done. The porters hadn’t a clue. Must have been a light discharge.”

“Seems that way ever since I’ve been working as hard as I have paddling and packing. But that’s beside the point. It really wouldn’t work.”

“How so?”

“Even if Fire Cat wasn’t the one I will love forever, you’re not the kind of man who can spend the rest of his life balancing precariously on the edge of darkness. You’re the type who plots and plans for the future—the kind of future that’s filled with smiles and hearty slaps on the back for a job well done. You see good times ahead, feasts, laughing, and frolicking with your women. Being honored and adored. Being—how did you put it? ‘A big man.’”

“Is that so impossible for you?”

“No. But it is for Piasa and Power.” She smiled wearily. “Your future is festive. Mine is tortured and dark. Suppose Fire Cat and I survive my confrontation with Walking Smoke, it will just be the beginning of another trial. Eventually, Piasa is going to pull me under for the last time. When he does, you don’t want to be around.”

“Maybe there’s a way you can change that. Maybe I could change it for you.”

She shifted in her blankets. “Don’t even try. I mean it. Get that notion out of your head. I don’t want to be the one to go back and tell Seven Skull Shield, ‘I’m sorry, but when we were in Cofitachequi, I got your best friend killed.”

“Bah, I’m hard to kill.”

“Not when it comes to Walking Smoke. The last time he and I faced each other, he didn’t understand who I’d become. This time he does, and you can bet he’s planned for it.”