It took me quite a while to turn back into myself. Once Rayce instructed me on how to let myself turn back, it was a different feeling altogether. When my bones went back into place, it felt like I was getting a massage, and the mist surrounding me cooled my body temperature.
Rayce sat with me on the porch swing quietly with his arm draped over my shoulders. I couldn’t have felt luckier than I was in that moment. My past had been nothing but a roller-coaster ride of horrible experiences. Life since Rayce has blossomed into magnificent possibilities.
Going from thinking he hated me to now knowing he loves me, has filled me with hope for the future. In order to move forward, I had to open my book. I didn’t want anything looming to surface later, ruining us.
I put my head down on his shoulder, “Rayce, I have a few things that I think you should know.” His body remained relaxed next to me. “But, I fear what I’m about to tell you may jeopardize our future together.”
“Your past is what made you who you are today, and I love this person,” he said softly, stroking my arm with his thumb.
He always knew what to say but I was afraid what I was about to tell him would turn him away. It was something taboo, something that was frowned upon, and it would break my mother’s heart if she knew. It was a struggle for me to make the final decision, but it was for the best.
I took a much-needed breath. It shook as I let it out. Shame washed over me as I finally spoke the words, “I had an abortion.”
His breath hitched and he leaned forward slightly, causing me to sit up away from him. His chocolate eyes burned with questions as they danced across my face. The sadness behind them, “Why would you do that?”
“I had no other choice.” My voice was suddenly defensive.
“No other choice?” he growled slightly and stood from the swing. He marched over the stairs and stepped out into the yard.
“I know it’s frowned upon, but why are you so upset?” Then I realized my error. I walked over to him and found his eye were glistening with tears.
“How could you do that?” he asked in a whisper.
I forced a smile and stroked his arm tenderly, “Baby, this was years ago,” I explained.
He wiped his eyes before the tears fell, “It wasn’t recently?”
“No, love,” I said softly. “I’m sorry. I should have been more specific. I’m an idiot, ok?”
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my hair as he sniffled, “I overreacted,” he said.
“No. You didn’t,” I said and smiled. “I would never do that to you, Rayce.”
I felt horrible. He thought I had aborted our child without talking to him first. I would never do that. I didn’t even do that when I had the procedure done all those years ago.
“Please continue,” he said still holding me.
I could live in his secure arms, “Shawn is the reason I moved to Devils Bend in the first place. When we started dating, I was nothing more than a child in a sense. We were middle school and high school sweethearts.”
“Shawn is the asshole who left you?”
“Yes,” I sighed and continued. “Even though my parents thought different, he promised me a good life on a farm. I was naive enough to believe him. We moved to Devils Bend. He had a job and we had our own apartment. It wasn’t exactly a farm but I thought we were happy.”
“Until?” Rayce asked.
“He stopped coming home. After I started working at the bar, I discovered Shawn had an extensive drug addiction and a girlfriend.”
“Unbelievable,” he said deeply.
“He was all I knew for many years. My life was crushed,” I confessed. Telling him the next thing was probably a mistake but I couldn’t hide it. He had to know. “I confronted him. Verbal abuse started but quickly turned into weekly, drunken, drug filled beatings.”
“He beat you?” A growl rumbled in his chest.
I never told anyone the true story. “I found out that I was pregnant.” I looked up at him with pleading eyes. “I did do a lot of thinking before I made the choice. I didn’t want to risk having a child with an abusive drug addict. No child should have to experience that growing up.”
“Were you alone?”
“Yes. I had nobody here and I couldn’t tell my family.”
“Why not?”
“I was ashamed,” I expressed. “I didn’t listen to my mother when she told me that Shawn was no good. I was a stupid love-struck woman who got knocked up by an asshole,” I sighed shamefully. “Rayce, that choice was one of the hardest choices I have ever had to make in my life, and it haunts me every day.”
“What happened to the guy?” he asked angrily.
“Do you remember the guy to asked so kindly to leave my house?”
“Oh, that guy.”
“Yes, that guy.”
“Did you tell him?”
“I think that is when the beatings began to grow even more horrific. We found out at the hospital when he broke my collarbone.”
“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” he said and hugged me tighter. “I would love to give him a good beating.”
The weight on my shoulders lifted the instant I finished speaking. “I appreciate that, but he’s truly not worth it.”
“He hurt you, babe.”
“I know but I got away from him, and now I have a man worth his weight in gold,” I said smiling.
“Thank you for telling me about that part of your life,” he said and took my hand. “I’m sorry I overreacted earlier.”
“I understand.”
“I guess, I’m just tired.”
“Go inside and rest, baby,” I said softly.
“Aren’t you coming?”
I smiled, “I will soon. I’m still a little amped up.”
“I know,” he said smiling down at me. He kissed me and stroked my cheek with his knuckles. “Don’t stray too far.”
“I won’t leave this property,” I assured him. The threat of Gage still lingered on our radar. “I’ll be inside soon.”
He left me there in the garden. I took a chance to look up at the star filled sky. I had let go of something I had been holding on to for what seemed like an eternity. Now, I would be able to move on with Rayce. Being a vampire hunter was a hard job and you had to have the brass to do it. I would never have been able to do the job if I hadn’t experienced what I did.
I took a look at the house and everything Rayce had done for me. It was amazing how my life had changed. I was a hellhound, the only thing I wanted next to Rayce, and I finally had it. Before, I thought I needed the vampire blood to feel beautiful, but I was wrong. Being what I was, I could see, smell, and even hear everything. I felt complete.
An hour passed when I finally decided to join Rayce in our new bed. I opened the door slowly and he had his naked back to the door. The blanket was down low enough for me to see the cleft of his adorable ass. I grinned as I stripped my clothes and climbed in with him. I wrapped my arm around him and sighed as comfort gripped me. He turned over and put his arm out. I slid in next to him and he wrapped it around me. This was my favorite snuggling position. I draped my leg over his.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you, too,” he sighed. I could tell something was bothering him.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Now that I know about a painful time in your life, I would like to share one of mine with you,” he said.
I was instantly intrigued and sat up so I could see his face. “Go on.”
Sadness washed over his handsome face, “I had a twin brother who disappeared when we were two years old.”
I gasped, “What happened?”
“The story goes, that we were playing outside and he went missing.”
“Kids don’t just go missing, Rayce,” I said.
“Everyone looked for him but he was nowhere to be found. After almost a year of searching, my father called off the search for him and declared him dead.”
“Jesus,” I sighed sadly. “That must have been hard for him to do,” I said. “Your poor parents. It had to have been painful for you too.”
“My brother, the one I shared the deepest of bonds with was gone. I never believed him to be dead. I couldn’t.”
“Twins have a connection only they can understand,” I said. “I’m so sorry, honey.”
“Thanks.”
“What was his name?”
He took a deep breath, “Chayce…Chayce Michael.”
A tear rolled out of the corner of his eye when he spoke his brother’s name. I wiped it away quickly. Seeing Rayce cry was heartbreaking.
“My brother is the first born. If he were here, everything would be different. Maybe he would have stepped up to the plate when the time came to be a leader, and everything wouldn’t be so screwed up.”
“And where would that leave us?”
“Together, without worry.”
“If your brother would have taken the position when your parents passed away, we could have never met,” I explained.
“True.”
“Would you change it if you could?”
“I would have loved to have my brother with me, but honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. I love you and will fight for you until the end. I have to try and kill him. You have to believe me when I say, I will fight to the death to protect you, to protect what is ours.”
I had to do something to prevent that outcome. I wouldn’t let him die, “Now that I’m one of you, will you teach me how to fight like a hellhound?”
“Babe, you have no need to fight.”
I was supposed to be strong, but my emotions got the best of me and my eyes began to sting with tears. I didn’t want to lose Rayce, he’s everything to me. “You feel like you’re going to lose or even die, don’t you?”
He turned over to face me. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear as he inspected my face, “If anything does happen to me, remember I love you. The house and land are yours. Jay and Marie will protect you always,” he promised.