“I’m fine. Will you stop fussing over me? I’m trying to watch the game, J.J.” Dad grimaced as he sat up in his hospital bed. We were back home after a brief scare in the ER. His blood pressure had dropped to scary levels and there was fluid built up, causing digestive problems.
A few days had passed since the big blowup with Ethan. I’d analyzed the situation from every possible angle, and come to the conclusion that I was maybe a bit harsh. At the same time, Ethan needed to understand that I was irrational with everything that was going on. I mean, Dad had been taken to the hospital, I didn’t know what was happening, if he was okay—if he was alive. I didn’t know what to think of him lying about the client meeting. It was such junior high, schoolboy antics. We were supposed to be adults.
If he wanted to go on a date with me, why didn’t he just ask? He’d have had to work for it, but I’d have been lying to myself if I said I would’ve turned him down. And holy shit, that kiss, and the back of the car—wow.
“Would you just talk to him already?”
I turned to Dad with a blank stare. “Huh?”
“You’ve been staring at anything but the games all day. You keep pulling out your phone then putting it away. Just call the guy.” He snickered.
“I can’t. It’s been too long.”
“Oh, what the fuck ever.” Kelsey walked through the door, grinning.
“There’s my other favorite daughter.”
Kelsey leaned over Dad’s hospital bed, which hospice had brought in, and pecked him on the cheek. His face tightened and his frail arm quivered as he reached up and put a hand on her cheek. “Would you talk some sense into that one.” His index finger turned slightly in my direction.
Kelsey laughed. “Oh, no. That one does what that one wants.”
His arm dropped back to the bed. “Don’t I fucking know it.”
They both laughed and I couldn’t help but do the same. This—this right here was my life. Everything in the world that I needed was in that room, now threatened by a timer that counted down the minutes like a bomb that couldn’t be defused.
Dad was a fighter, always had been. Proof positive was that he had to raise a daughter on his own. No matter how frail he appeared, his voice didn’t change. The doctors said he had months at best.
“J.J., you see where the Red Sox got Dunn?”
I stared blankly, my mind still racing a million miles an hour. “Huh?”
He grinned at Kelsey. “Will you tell her ass to call the guy? It’s like she ain’t even here.”
Kelsey shot me a stare. “Seriously. He doesn’t even know if your dad is okay.”
“I’m not calling him, texting him, or showing my face in that building ever again.” It was an overreaction, but it felt good to say it. The fact was we needed the money and I knew deep down that I’d have to return to work.
I whipped out my laptop and flipped the lid open so that it faced Dad. There was a big fantasy league champion 2015 sticker on the top.
“Still rubbing that in my face, huh? We’ll see. Your head ain’t in it this year.”
I didn’t look up from my computer. “Second place will look good on you once again.”
“Pfft.” He turned his head back to the game on the television. “In your dreams, princess.”
It got a laugh out of me while I logged into my bank account.
“I’m going to head out then.” Kelsey wrapped her arms around Dad and squeezed and then walked over and put a hand on each of my shoulders. “Text him.” Her long hair fell over the screen, forcing me to look up at her eyes.
I gritted my teeth. “Fine.”
She rose, taking her hair with her. “Good! Catch you guys later.”
I saw my first paycheck from Mason and Associates in the account. I’d been working remotely and hadn’t been denied access, so I assumed I still had my job. There hadn’t been any messages suggesting I’d been terminated.
When I looked at the current balance in my bank account it seemed like way too much money.
“What the hell?” I refreshed the Web browser. Everything stayed the same. Great, another problem I had to deal with.
I scrolled down trying to figure out what the issue was. It didn’t take long, considering most of the expenses were medical bills that were set up on auto-draft.
Kelsey froze in her tracks. “What is it?”
“None of the medical payments came out of the account this month. Jesus, I can’t catch a break. I’ll have to call them.” I picked up my phone. I’d forget if I didn’t handle it right now.
I dialed the hospital business department—I had them on speed dial—and a lady answered.
Kelsey stuck around, presumably in case I had another meltdown. After a few long pauses, and some clicking of keys, the lady informed me Dad’s accounts were paid up. I hung up the phone.
My heart thumped with excitement and I stared at Kelsey with a stupid, sheepish grin on my face.
“What? What is it?” she asked.
“A cancer nonprofit paid all of Dad’s bills.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Kelsey squeed, again. She was turning into a squee girl.
I sat my laptop aside and jumped up to hug her. She wrapped her arms around me like a python, threatening to cave my chest in. I didn’t care.
“This is fucking amazing!” she said in my ear.
I took a step back and covered my mouth, all of it sinking in. My eyes misted and the waterworks started. Happy tears, all of them. I rushed over and gripped Dad harder than he was expecting apparently. I got the familiar back pat he was so damned good at delivering. I sobbed into his shoulder and his hand ran through my hair, pulling me closer. I’d cried more in the last six months than I had my entire life.
I glanced back and I swear Kelsey’s eyes were watering, even though she’d never admit it. She didn’t cry about anything, ever. It was kind of her thing, to the point she bragged about it on occasion.
“I really have to go, you guys. But just—” She grinned a big toothy smile. “This is so amazing! Even with you crying like a little bitch, this is so amazing!” She laughed and sprinted over and hugged Dad and me at the same time. “I love both of you.” She gave us each a kiss on the forehead and ran toward the door. “Oh, and, Jenn. I can stay with him a few days so you can get back to work.” Her smile turned devilish. “Text him. Okay, thanks, bye!” She waved super-fast and ran out the door before I could scold her.
I turned my gaze to Dad.
“Go, call that boy. You’re interrupting the game.” He chuckled.
“Fine!” I finger-combed his hair and smiled one more time before walking over to my phone.
Dad’s eyes were on me the whole time, even though he pretended to be watching the game every time I looked at him.
“Will you stop? Seriously.”
“Didn’t say a word.”
I snatched my phone and swiped the screen. What was I going to say to Ethan? What was there to say? Keep it short and sweet.
Me: My dad is back home. He’s okay.
Within seconds the dots were bouncing up and down on the screen, Ethan typing a reply.
Ethan: Thanks for letting me know. I’m sorry.
Me: Me too.
There was an awkward pause. Dad stared at me. I could see it out of the corner of my eye. For some reason I couldn’t peel my eyes from my phone to scold him for being nosy.
Ethan: Are you coming back to work?
That answered the question as to whether or not I still had a job. I couldn’t believe he hadn’t let me go. It felt all wrong. Anyone else and Ethan wouldn’t have let them past security. I didn’t like people doing me favors. Despite Dad’s bills being paid, we could still use the money, and it was my dream job. But what about Ethan and me? He knew how to heat me up, but he knew how to turn me to ice just the same. There was no middle ground with us.
Me: Can I think about it and let you know?
I wanted to go back tomorrow. I wanted things the way they were before the other night. What I wanted most of all was for him to just ask me out like a normal person, and then more of what happened before the phone call. I scissored my legs and my face burned hot just thinking about it.
Ethan: Sure, just let me know.