part0015

W hen things get busy and we’re not leading a balanced life, we often let go of the things or activities that nourish us, and instead focus on what seems more important or pressing at the time. However, without the things that nourish us, stress increases and we give up more and more of the activities that replenish us. When this happens, we’re only left with work, chores, difficult challenges, or other stressors that deplete our resources, and we can become exhausted or burnt out. Our lives become narrow and we get stuck in, what stress researchers call, an exhaustion funnel .24 It’s easy to get sucked into this process because we often have pressing demands, and when we do, the more pleasurable things in life seem optional and are easier to give up.

However, despite thinking we have no choice, have too much to do, or don’t have the energy to do other things, it is vital we balance our lives during these times, or at the very least spend time on activities that nourish us. Although it may feel counterintuitive, in order to do the other things well and to maintain our energy, we need to make time for replenishment and nourishment. This will give us the extra time, energy, and perspective needed for the challenging parts of our lives .

An experiment at the Bethlehem Steel Company in the 1940s measured the efficiency of its workers loading pig iron onto trains. On the first day the men were told to load as much pig iron as they could without stopping. On average the workers loaded 12.5 tons until they were exhausted and could do no more. The following day they were told to load the pig iron for 26 minutes and then rest for 34 minutes, meaning they rested more than they worked. Using this method each worker managed to load an average of 47 tons, almost four times as much as working flat out.25

If you’re still unconvinced that balancing your life, resting, and doing things that nourish you is a good idea during busy periods, I’d like to point you in the direction of some research demonstrating why a balanced life is both more enjoyable and productive.

Firstly, scientific evidence has emphasised rest aids decision making. Research by Dutch psychologist Ap Dijksterhuis (I can’t pronounce it either), suggests actively trying to work through a number of decisions, particularly when tired, will lead to a worse outcome than going through all the relevant information and then taking a break, or moving on to something else.26 During rest periods, the subconscious mind is able to sift through lots information and this helps us to make clearer, more helpful decisions. Some of my best ideas and most helpful decisions have come to me when I have been out walking my dog in the countryside, after periods of intense work.

Secondly, research has demonstrated rest replenishes our resources and helps us to work more effectively. Attention Restoration Theory (ART) — an area of academic research that investigates our ability to maintain attention over time — suggests concentration is limited and we can exhaust our supply of focused attention. When this happens we’re unable to work effectively or to concentrate properly.

Scientists involved in ART research suggest we should take regular breaks or switch activities when our attention is tiring. Particularly recommended is taking a break in nature. This is because there are normally less obstacles around in open spaces and therefore less decisions to be made, enabling us to switch off more completely.27 However, if taking a break in nature is not possible, we can still be more effective at stressful tasks just by ensuring we take the time to rest, or switch to an activity we enjoy, especially something that gives us a break from concentrating or focusing intensely.28

Finally, work we do when tired or depleted can often be of very low quality. Recent research has indicated we have a limited capacity to do work that is difficult and demanding, especially tasks that require our attentional resources.29 Studies have shown more often than not, the activities or work we do when we are feeling tired or depleted will be substandard, or at least not our best work.

Additionally, trying to work when depleted often results in errors that have to be corrected at a later time, or redone. So staying up late to finish a report for work when feeling tired and depleted will often result in low quality work that has to be corrected or redone the following day. So when extremely busy, while we think we must keep on going, we cannot afford a break or the time to do an enjoyable activity, we can actually save time in the long-term by taking the time to nourish ourselves.

This is not just about resting or taking time to relax, although that is vitality important, it is also about ‘play’ — taking the time to have fun. The greatest source of nourishment often involves doing things that we really enjoy. Think about what you liked to do for fun as a child or teenager, when there was no pressure to please anyone else. What did you do with your spare time? Now that you’re an adult, what could you do that is similar to that?

When we’re considering activities and situations that nourish or deplete us we should also reflect on the impact our social relationships can have on us. In the late 1980s, by reaching for his lunch, an Italian academic made a remarkable and unexpected discovery about how the behaviours and emotions of others can directly impact on us.

Giacomo Rizzolatti and his colleagues had implanted electrodes into the brains of a number of macaque monkeys in order to study their brain activity while they performed various motor actions, including clutching food. One day, as a researcher reached for his own food while glancing at the feedback on his computer screen, he noticed neurons firing in the premotor cortex of one monkey — the area that showed activity when the animals made a similar hand movement. How could this be happening when the monkey was just sitting still, not reaching out to grab food, but just observing him?

This accidental revelation led to the discovery of mirror neurons — a distinct class of brain cells that fire not only when an individual performs an action, but also when the individual observes someone else making the same movement. Further research into the workings of mirror neurons demonstrated that this effect goes beyond motor movement. We now know when we see someone else experiencing an emotion, whether it be positive or negative, our brain ‘tries out’ that same emotion to imagine what the other person is going through.30 It does this by trying to fire the same neural pathways in our own brains so we can attempt to relate to the emotion we’re observing.

This is how we experience empathy and can get caught up in both the positive and negative emotions of others; from angry mob mentality, to the solidarity of grief during and after tragedies. It also means we are directly impacted by the attitudes and beliefs of those we spend most time with. So if we’re continually influenced by critical, cynical, fearful, and pessimistic attitudes, we’re continually firing those synapses in our brain, rewiring it towards anxiety, fear and pessimism; rather than peace, confidence and optimism.

So when we’re evaluating our lives and considering how best to balance the activities that nourish and deplete us, we should also take into consideration the company we keep and whether we can take steps to change this, and if not, consider what can we do to improve things. Not that we shouldn’t be there for friends who are having a hard time; those who need an empathetic ear or help to work through a difficult situation. I’m also not suggesting we can never be critical, or never talk about our anxiety, fears or worries; as positive change usually requires critical thought. Only that we should consider who we consistently spend time with and are influenced by.

Write a list, like the one below, of between 1 to 15 typical activities you do most weeks. Then state which ones nourish you by putting an N in brackets beside the activity, and similarly which ones deplete you by putting a D brackets.

By nourishing, we mean an activity that lifts your mood, gives you energy, or makes you feel calm and centred. Remember this is not just about rest, but also about play. By depleted we mean an activity that drains you, takes away your energy, and makes you feel tense. There are no right or wrong answers, what may be nourish you may deplete someone else and vice versa.

1. E.g. Constantly checking my email (D)

2. E.g. Going for a walk (N )

3. E.g. Checking the news often (D)

There may be some depleting activities you can immediately stop, eliminate, or do less of, and also some nourishing activities you can do more of. Go carefully through the list and make a note of those activities, both depleting and nourishing, that you can change. Don’t provide any detail of how you will do it at this stage, just put a mark next to the activity. You can also consider and make a note of any new activities you don’t currently do but know from past experience are nourishing for you.

There will be some depleting activities you cannot change, especially not immediately (e.g. work, dealing with difficult housemates). If there are depleting activities on your list that are unavoidable, there are a few different approaches you can use:

Now it’s time for you to think about how to alter and commit to the changes that will improve your life balance. Write five ways in which you can practically change things. Don’t worry if you can’t think of five straightaway, write the others when they come to you at a later time.

It’s important that you focus on small, doable changes, not life changing activities. So don’t include, ‘Move to Hollywood ’, ‘Run a marathon ’, or ‘Marry Brad Pitt ’, but focus on small changes, like the examples below. These small changes are a crucial part of the practice.

1. E.g. Checking my emails only twice a day at 10am and 4pm

2. E.g. Going for a 15 minute walk during my lunch hour and 30 minute walk on the weekend

3. E.g. Checking the news once or twice a day only.

At first, you may not be aware of what activities nourish or deplete you, so it may be a case of trial and error. Be aware of this and be open to having some of your preconceived ideas challenged.

We can often think some activities are enjoyable, but when we really consider how we feel after them, we realise they deplete us and vice versa. For example, I used to build periods of internet surfing into my day because I thought I found it enjoyable and relaxing, but when I monitored and became aware of how I really felt during and after various activities, I realised it often left me feeling tired, unsettled, frustrated, and mildly anxious. Conversely, I used to consider mowing my lawn was a depleting activity, but after some reflection, I realised it often left me with a feeling of satisfaction and had the effect of calming my mind.

Review your activity lists every so often, particularly if you start to feel life is becoming busy, stressful and unbalanced, and consider if you need to make any further changes.

There are a number of other things we can do to calm our minds and protect ourselves from constantly teetering near the edge of anxiety and stress. I wanted to keep this book short, simple and manageable, with the intention of not overwhelming people with a whole host of changes that need to be implemented over a short period; this is a recipe for failure. However, it would be remiss of me not to mention a few of the most freely available, cost-effective, and important contributors to overall wellbeing and positive mental health: sleep, physical exercise, media diet, and social interaction.

These powerful essentials are often discounted or ignored as people look for a shortcut to good mental health or a magic bullet for social confidence. Putting together a strategy for overcoming anxiety with the best methods and research available, but giving no attention to these foundations, is like building a solid house on quicksand.

Getting enough sleep is crucial to both our physical and mental health. We can implement every other mental and physical health strategy to perfection, but if we’re not getting enough sleep, we will never be at our best. Research indicates that sufficient sleep has a large positive effect on a whole host of physical and mental aspects of our health, including: emotion regulation, cognitive thinking, decision making, attention, memory, and it also plays a large role in protecting the immune system.31

Until recently we have known very little about what happens in the brain when we sleep, and although we still have much to learn, we are starting to understand more about what happens when we go to bed at night.

We now know we cycle through different periods of sleep several times a night, and in the final stage of each of these cycles we enter Rapid Eye Movement sleep (REM), the period when dreaming occurs. It’s thought REM sleep is particularly important for our wellbeing, as it’s involved in replenishing our neurotransmitters, cleaning out toxins, and consolidating our memories. Research has also indicated those who have more REM sleep tend to have lower amygdala reactivity, and as a result, less anxiety.32 So getting a good night’s sleep plays a key role in calming the amygdala and decreasing anxiety. Lack of sleep increases reactivity in the amygdala, raising our general levels of anxiety and making us more sensitive to other emotional states such as anger and irritability.

So how much sleep is sufficient? Eight hours of sleep is normally the magic number suggested to ensure the brain is performing at its best, but recent research suggests it varies from individual to individual, and the optimal time is somewhere between seven to nine hours. However, these recommendations miss out on an important understanding of the sleep cycle.

The full sleep cycle lasts around ninety minutes and goes through five stages, with the REM part of the sleep cycle being the last stage:

After completing a full cycle we return to the first stage again and repeat this pattern throughout the night. The first few sleep cycles of the night contain relatively short periods of REM sleep, but long periods of deep sleep. However, as the night progresses, the periods of REM sleep increase in length, while deep sleep decreases. By morning, we spend nearly all of our sleep time in stages 1, 2, and REM.

If we wake up during one of the ninety minute cycles, we start again at the first stage when we go back to sleep, regardless of what stage we woke up in. Then we cycle through the stages until we get to the REM stage again. So two hours of sleep, followed by a period of being awake, and then another five hours sleep isn’t necessarily the same as seven hours of continuous sleep. You don’t carry on where you left off in the cycle, you have to start again at the beginning. Keep this in mind when you’re assessing your quality of sleep.

Getting a good night’s sleep is often a struggle for people with anxiety because the amygdala is regularly in an aroused state and the sympathetic nervous system is chronically activated. This makes going through the sleep cycles more difficult and is often compounded by worrying thoughts that make it more difficult to drop off. So the key to sleeping well is (1) to ensure you’re in as calm a state as possible before going to bed, and also (2) finding a strategy that enables you to fall asleep without too much trouble. You may not always have the time to create a calm environment but it’s important to take some time do so if sleeping is a problem for you. Once you’re able to sleep consistently well, you will be able to be more flexible with your routine.

Activities that will help you to enter a calmer state before going to bed include:

A consistent and relaxing routine before bedtime – stick to a consistent bedtime on most nights, at least until you start to sleep well. By repeating a regular pattern, you will condition your body and mind to realise it’s time to go to sleep. Begin your routine about 30 to 60 minutes before bedtime and build activities into this time that will reduce stimulation and help you relax; such as reading, having a bath, or listening to music.

Eliminate as much light as possible – avoid television, computers, tablets and smartphones. Numerous studies suggest blue light in the evening disrupts the brain’s natural sleep-wake cycles.33 If you do go online, use an app or software that eliminates blue light on electronic devices. Many can be found by searching for ‘blue light’ in both iPhone and Android app stores.

Create an environment conducive to sleep – make your bedroom as dark as possible and remove all distractions to sleep out of the bedroom (electronic devices, televisions, work items etc.) .

Avoid caffeine, alcohol and spicy foods from early evening onwards – these will stimulate your brain and body.

Exercise earlier in the day – physical activity will help tire your body and make it more ready for sleep, but try to exercise no later than early evening to avoid over stimulating your body before bedtime. This doesn’t have to involve going to the gym or running for miles. A short brisk walk can have an excellent impact.

Avoid napping during the day – this is especially important if you’re not getting a full night of sleep.

Just before you get into bed do some relaxed breathing or a short meditation - Try the ‘Panic Attack Exercise 1: Deep Abdominal Breathing’ or the ‘Calming the Mind Exercise 1: Mindfulness Meditation’ .

If none of these strategies appeal to you, do anything you want to do before bedtime, but ensure that in the last two hours before you attempt to go to sleep you avoid work, food, exercise, blue light, and pornography (this is not a moral judgement but a strategy to reduce stimulus before bedtime).

While changing your bedtime routine to maximise the chances of going to bed in a calmer state of mind will help with getting to sleep, people who struggle with anxiety often find as soon as they get into bed and can no longer distract themselves, they start worrying or ruminating. This worrying stimulates the cortex, activates the amygdala, and can make dropping off to sleep very difficult. So what can we do to help us drop off to sleep quickly?

Some of the traditional methods used for getting to sleep, such as counting sheep, are often ineffective. Just knowing we are consciously trying to get to sleep often makes it very difficult, and boredom inducing strategies tend to make our anxious thoughts even more attractive and often keep us awake for longer. However, there are some exercises known to be effective:

Cognitive shuffling – This involves mentally picturing a random object for a few seconds before moving onto another: a carton of milk, a car, a castle, a paperclip, and so on. It’s important to ensure the sequence is truly meaningless, otherwise you’ll drift back into rumination.

This method was developed by Canadian cognitive scientist Luc Beaudoin, and described by journalist Oliver Burkeman in his health and wellbeing column in The Guardian newspaper.34 The exercise is based on the theory the brain tests if it’s safe to fall asleep by checking what our cortex is doing. If the cortex is engaged in rational thinking activity, it determines that it may be considering dangers and it would therefore be best for us to stay awake. However, if the thoughts are random nonsense, the brain considers we are relaxed and tired, and sleep should be induced.

Cognitive shuffling also reduces rumination because it’s difficult to focus your attention on more than one thing at a time. It’s hard to ruminate about a problem at work if you’re busy generating images of balloons, cheese, and train carriages. Beaudoin has an app that provides random words and speaks them into your ear. However, I’d suggest avoiding using an app or headphones in bed, as sleep aids like this, while useful for a time, can act as a crutch, and make sleeping without them difficult in the future. Instead, it would be more effective create these random words yourself by going through the alphabet and naming as many items as you can think of for each letter before going on to the next.

Scanning through your day in detail – This exercise involves mentally going through your day in detail, starting from the moment you woke up. So when you get into bed, close your eyes and recall the very first moment of the day you can remember, and then scan through the day as if you’re fast-forwarding a video. Don’t do this too quickly; just do your best to remember all the different parts of the day. It has a certain rhythm to it. So it might be something like this: I woke up – walked to the bathroom – went to the toilet – brushed my teeth – had a shower – woke my child – went into the kitchen – made the breakfast – brushed my teeth – walked to the car – drove to work, and so on.

Just work your way through the day remembering all the different things you did. It should take a few minutes. You may get to parts of the day you’d like to pause and spend a little of time thinking about, but don’t pause, just keep going, leave that behind. Let go of the conversation or situation you’d like to focus on and continue to work your way up right up to the present time when you're in bed. Notice when your mind wanders off from scanning the day, and when you realise it's wandered, just gently bring it back to the scanning, starting up again from you left off.

When you’ve finished scanning through your day, very slowly start to notice your breath. Don’t change it, but just be aware of it. Count your breaths until you get to ten. If you lose count or your mind wanders, don’t worry, just bring your attention back to your breath and start again from one. If you’re still awake at this stage, count backwards from 100 right the way down to zero, not with the intention of falling asleep but with the intention of getting to zero. If you’re still awake after reaching zero, start again at 100 and count down again, and keep repeating this.

Sleep meditation – If you find you are still unable to sleep, there is an extended audio guide version of the above exercise, with a few extra stages in, including a meditation tailored for sleep. You can access and download the exercise here: Dr Matt Lewis – Sleep Meditation

https://soundcloud.com/dr-matt-lewis

I think we all now know physical activity is good for our physical health. There’s growing evidence physical activity can lower the risk of a number of ailments and disorders, ranging from type 2 diabetes, to heart disease, to cancer.35 However, maybe less well known is the gathering evidence illustrating the positive impact of physical exercise on mental wellbeing,36 and more specifically, anxiety.37

Research has shown physical exercise can measurably reduce anxiety in around twenty minutes, which is less time than it takes most medications to work.38 Physical activity is not only effective at reducing the physiological symptoms of anxiety, but has also been demonstrated to calm the amygdala – reducing its reactivity – meaning anxious feelings and their symptoms are less likely to start, or are much reduced.39 & 40

This shouldn’t really surprise us, as when anxiety triggers the fight, flight, or freeze response, it prepares our body to move quickly and powerfully. Physical activity uses the emergency response in the way it was intended – by moving and being active. Being physically active lowers the levels of adrenaline pumping through the body and uses glucose released into the bloodstream. So exercise calms the amygdala and reduces anxious thoughts and the physical symptoms. Importantly, it also positively impacts on mental health by producing feelings of wellbeing and exhilaration, prompted by the release of neurotransmitters called endorphins, which also work on reducing pain.

However, exercise is not just an antidote to acute anxiety symptoms, it has also been shown to have a long-term effect on anxiety, with evidence it significantly reduces chronic anxiety, working at least as well as medication over long periods.41 & 42 Regular exercise also has the benefit of providing long lasting muscle relaxation, which, like the muscle relaxation exercises we outlined earlier, reduces muscle tension throughout the body and in turn dampens amygdala reactivity, further contributing to lower levels of anxiety.43

Exercise can also be particularly beneficial for people who struggle with panic attacks or the strong physiological symptoms of anxiety or stress. Moderate physical activity can act as a type of exposure treatment, helping us to get used to the physical sensations often experienced when anxious or stressed. Experiencing similar sensations while exercising (increased heart rate, rapid breathing, elevated blood pressure) helps us to realise they are not harmful, but we can cope with them and get used to the discomfort.44

I’ve read and taught about the benefits of physical activity for a long time, but have also noticed, despite growing evidence of the benefits of exercise and exhortations to get more active from the media, health experts, and government campaigns, most people still don’t exercise regularly. In order for people to be motivated to exercise they must either enjoy what they are doing, or it has to be a part of normal everyday life, whether it be through necessity or choice. My love of walking came from having to walk 25 minutes to the train station from my home and then another 20 minutes after getting off to the train to my place of work every day. If I’d had a car, I probably would have driven to the train station. However, four years of enforced walking turned into a habit I love, and I’ve long continued to walk every day despite no longer needing to do the same daily commute.

People often find physical activity difficult to start and maintain because it is seen as a chore. Exercise has become synonymous with going to the gym, and while some people love visiting the gym, for many of us, the gym is a sterile, artificial, and intimidating environment that can be off putting. So the most important criteria for deciding on what type of exercise you should do is enjoyment. If we enjoy what we are doing we are more likely to keep on doing it. Think about what exercise you can do outside of the gym, whether it’s at a club, at home, or outside.

Exercising outside – in nature – known as ‘green exercise’, has been shown to have extra mental health benefits above and beyond physical activity. These include improvements in mood and self-esteem, and reductions in anxiety and depression.45 I may be biased due to my love of walking, but having taught about the benefits of exercise for many years, I am convinced that if there is a panacea in medicine, it’s walking. So if you do nothing else, walk for 10 to 20 minutes a day and slowly introduce more walking into your everyday life. The recommended dose is 10,000 steps a day, which is about 4.5 miles. Get a pedometer or activity monitor, such as a Fitbit, to see how far you’re walking. Build up to a level of fitness that allows you to walk briskly for some of the time.

Whatever exercise you do, try to do it with moderate intensity and also make sure your doctor approves it. Think about incorporating it into ‘Foundational Exercise 2: Balancing Life’ outlined in the Calming the Mind part of the book.

Our human negativity bias, a survival strategy inherited from our early ancestors, who lived in very dangerous environments, naturally draws our attention to negative news stories. This is why negative stories dominate the media and why we feel compelled to watch. So it’s natural to want to follow updates of terrorist events, violence, shootings, and war, both on television and social media. However, repeated exposure to trauma by the media can have as similar an impact as experiencing the event first-hand.

You may think it is necessary to keep up with the news, and those who follow the media are more informed about the dangers of the world, but this isn’t the case. In fact, people who digest more media, grossly overestimate rates of violence.46 We can compound this and raise our levels of anxiety and helplessness further by reading fearful and angry public comments on what has happened and what action should be taken. Consuming the news in this way makes us far more anxious and afraid because we don’t tend to be very good at assessing risk. We overestimate our chances of being in danger due to a number of irrational ways of thinking. Some of these include:

If a recent event is particularly dramatic and receives saturation coverage in the media, we tend to overestimate the risk of something similar happening to ourselves. We do not see dramatic in-depth media coverage of other causes of death, which are more common, such as road traffic accidents, so we assume the events that receive more coverage are more dangerous to us.

We lack awareness of the more common positive or neutral events. We don’t focus on the far more common non-events that occur every day, such as the number of flights that safely arrive at an airport, or the number of positive social interactions between people of different religions. These events, which are a far more accurate indicator of reality, do not make the news as they are common and are more likely to occur.

We succumb to the recency effect. We think a dramatic event is more likely to happen if a similar event happened recently. This is the case after terrorist attacks, virus outbreaks such as Ebola, and aeroplane accidents .

Although it sometimes feels like the world is becoming less safe, peaceful and united, and therefore more dangerous, violent, and divided, is this actually the case? If you look at the measurements objectively, the world we currently live in is probably more peaceful, safe, and less dangerous, than at any other time.47 & 48 Despite this, most of us have never felt as disturbed about the world before, so it feels as if things are worse.

What has changed is how we are getting our information; there are now far more cameras to record both small and large incidents, an internet that helps us to spread information more easily and widely, and also the far reaching effects of social media. So the type of information we now receive has changed, along with the way we get it.

We are living in an attention economy and the information that gets the most attention is extremism and fear mongering. As we’ve discussed before, our negativity bias naturally gravitates towards this type of information, even if it is unbalanced. So extreme views are rewarded with more attention, more shares, and more comments. Social media, some news channels, and the internet in general, have developed a medium in which moderate views, respectful discussion, and reasonable behaviour is considered boring and uninteresting.

Continual media exposure also distracts us from getting on with other activities we need to do, or would benefit from, and can also overload our thinking. Endless access to new information easily overwhelms our working memory. When we reach cognitive overload, our ability to transfer learning to long-term memory significantly deteriorates. It’s as if our brain has become a full cup of water and anything more poured into it spills out. So we leave ourselves with little time to do other things properly and are also unable to focus as well on other information .

You also may have noticed once you start looking at news and social media, it can be difficult to stop. It almost becomes an addiction. Our brain craves continual stimulation, is drawn to novelty, and likes to be instantly gratified. Continually watching or reading updates creates a compulsion loop, and like drug addicts, we need more and more ‘hits’ to get the same effect. Try to be aware of being caught up in a compulsion loop. Notice it when you can, you may be surprised how mindlessly you do this.

The main aim of news websites and social media apps is to keep us viewing for as long and as often as possible. The design of the apps and websites, along with the algorithms that drive them and notifications produced by them, have one aim - to make as much money as possible from our continued use. We are often being manipulated by computer code written by people whose job it is to keep you hooked. To make sure, in other words, that almost everything else you could be doing seems boring by comparison. For example, one way they achieve this is by the reinforcement trick of ‘variable reward’, ensuring that when you click, swipe or hit refresh, you’re sometimes – but not always – rewarded with an update, email, like, etc. (If you always got the reward, you’d soon get bored.) Notice when you open Twitter, there’s a tiny pause before you’re told your number of notifications. This is deliberately engineered, so you’ll be on tenterhooks every time.

You can be held hostage to a news cycle that’s primary aim is to make money from your fear, outrage, and mindless dependance for more of the same. We don’t gain anything by consuming news constantly and would be just as informed if we checked less often. We get hit by wave after wave of ‘breaking news’ but never see the ocean.

As a personal example, I remember when I used to view social media very frequently. I found sometimes when I closed my eyes at night, went in the shower, or did anything that didn’t take up my full attention, my head would be full of the voices of those I followed on social media. They were constantly swirling around my head. I’d be party to arguments between others that didn’t concern me, engrossed in problems I could do nothing about, and overloaded with so much information I couldn’t process it all. We can lose our own language, our unique way of thinking. We are fed clichés and we repeat then in our heads and in our conversations with others.

After a while I realised the thoughts of others were robbing me of any peace or quiet and were not even allowing my own thoughts to come through. My head was full of well-meaning advice, angry views, outraged voices, stories of injustice, fear, grudges, research findings, funny quips, and many polarised opinions. Meanwhile I realised my life was being lived through the lens of others.

Not that we should never catch up on the news or engage in social media, or it always has a negative effect. The internet and social media has also been a vehicle for good and provides some people with a voice and positive connections they previously didn’t have access to. However, we should raise our awareness of how often we access certain types of media and reflect on how we feel after this exposure. We should consider what types of news we digest and what sources we rely on. We have the power to decide.

Plan times when you want to catch up with the news rather than accessing it continually and try to notice when you’re automatically checking for updates without being aware of what you’re doing. Particularly consider your exposure to social media and news in the morning. Waking up and being bombarded by anxious news at the beginning of the morning can set your mood and pattern of thinking for the rest of the day.

If, after reflection, you become aware your media diet is problematic and adds to your anxiety, consider how you might change the way you consume the news and any other media, and incorporate it into ‘Preparing to Change Exercise 2: Balancing Life.’

What we do with our time and how that affects our energy levels and mood is crucial to our mental wellbeing. Our energy levels have a huge impact on the way we feel, how well we can handle our emotions, how prepared we feel for challenges, and how effectively we can perform a number of tasks and activities. So it’s vital these foundations are in place when we are making changes to our lives.