I
hope the previous chapters have given you an insight into your social anxiety and provided you with the tools to help you find peace, act with courage, and live a life closely aligned to your values. The challenge now is for you to weave the practices and exercises into your everyday life in a way that is sustainable in the long-term. To do this, you will need to try out the different exercises and decide which ones work best for you. Choose the exercises you find most effective, enjoyable, and fit best into your daily routine. Keep in mind you do not have to stick rigidly to your original choices; you may find as time goes by your choices and preferences change. Different experiences and different demands on your life may make some exercises more applicable at different times. So be open, aware, and flexible.
I would suggest you check-in on your values and reaffirm them often (Preparing to Change Exercise 1: Who Are You?
). We need reminding of who we are and what we stand for regularly, particularly when we’re facing challenges or going through a stressful period of life. Similarly, be aware of your energy levels, particularly when life is busy, and take time to consider if you’re living a balanced life that includes activities and experiences that nourish you (Preparing to Change Exercise 2: Balancing Life
). Sleep, physical
exercise, and social media diet are key foundations in controlling stress and anxiety, and maintaining positive physical health.
Continue to practise the mindfulness exercises, these will strengthen your ability to calm your mind. The benefits of the exercises will build over time, so I would suggest you practise them daily, or at least on a regular basis. Consider extending your meditation sessions to up to 20 minutes. After some practice you may find that you can meditate without audio guidance, but use the guidance for as long as you find it helpful. I still use guided meditation in my everyday practice. If you feel, after giving it a reasonable try, that meditation is not for you, try to practise mindfulness in other ways. Take the time to notice what is going on around you and inside you. Notice your environment, your thoughts and how your body is feeling and reacting. Remember, mindfulness is just noticing and training your attention.
When anxiety arises, remember to use the ACT mindfulness skills you’ve learned — defusion, expansion and engagement — to effectively deal with unhelpful thoughts and uncomfortable feelings — it gets much easier and more intuitive as time goes by. Don’t allow your anxiety to stop you from growing; keep seeking challenges that enrich your life and don’t let anxious feelings keep you from tackling difficult and uncomfortable situations.
The Social Anxiety Action Plan
encouraged you to start small and gain momentum. Use the strategies in this plan to overcome the paralysis that social anxiety can cause, but don’t be afraid to dream big and set larger goals.
I’ve regularly had to use the skills I’ve written about to overcome my own social anxiety, and while life can still be challenging, learning to change my behaviour using the skills included in the book changed my life.
My final request is that you start to practically apply the exercises. It will take courage and persistence, but it can be done. Remember, change is possible, it’s important that you embrace a mindset that allows you to believe this. Nothing will change if you only read the book. You must take action
.
The next part of the book is an extra section that focuses on emergency exercises, and will be useful for those who suffer from the extreme symptoms of anxiety and stress, and often feel on the edge of ‘losing it’. These are helpful for all types of anxiety situations, including social interactions and gatherings.