STORM
I blink away the tears I managed to hold in until Mom left the kitchen with Jude as I work on mixing the salad, and she returns and walks over to me to wrap her arm around my shoulders.
“Hide those tears, Storm. You don’t need him seeing them.”
Shit.
I nod sharply and drop the spoon to swipe them away, then turn toward her. “I’m sorry, Mom. I just…his eyes.”
So full of fear and empty of anything else…
I know what that’s like, to feel empty, lost, alone. After Ben died, nothing, not even Angelina, could pull me from the black abyss I found myself in. For so long, I lingered there, hoping to join him, but then Landon came along and changed everything. He allowed me to live again and see how much joy I had all around me with these people, especially Angie.
Mom squeezes me and gives me a soft smile. “You all are keeping whatever happened to that boy from me. I don’t know why you thought I wouldn’t see it.”
Maybe because none of us really knew how bad it would be except Stone and Nora.
I release a heavy sigh. “We didn’t want to upset you on Christmas, Mom.”
She presses her lips into a thin line. Even in her seventies, the woman can still freeze you with a single look. “After everything I’ve been through in this life—losing your father and Star, almost losing Savage. Gabe almost dying. Then losing Ben…”
At the mention of his name, my chest tightens, but unlike in the beginning, when hearing it would bring nothing but pain, now I’m able to smile and remember the good times and incredible gift he gave me by loving me and leaving me with Angelina.
Mom swallows thickly, fighting her own emotions. “Do you really think I couldn’t handle knowing the truth about what happened to Jude?”
The tears for what that little boy has suffered return, and I swipe them away again in case he reappears in the kitchen. “It isn’t that, Mom. We just…”
Try to protect her the way she always protected us.
Skye approaches and thankfully interjects before I’m forced to try to explain it to her. She wraps her arm around Mom’s shoulders and squeezes. “We didn’t want to ruin the holiday.” She smiles. “Everyone’s trying to keep the mood up.”
Mom’s eyes dart between us, and she finally releases a sigh. “Before this day is over, someone is going to fill me in.”
Or she’ll overhear enough to figure it out herself.
Skye kisses Mom on the cheek. “Okay, Ma. I’ll make sure you get filled in later. You brought Jude back to Allie, Pope, and Isaac?”
She nods. “Yes, and of course, Allie practically launched herself at him.”
I can’t fight my laughter, and warmth now replaces that sense of dread that has been sitting on my chest. “If anyone can make him feel at home with us, it’ll be her.”
Mom squeezes my shoulder. “That was my thought, too. You have a wonderful daughter.”
Skye’s jaw drops. “Oh, what, and Astrid is chopped liver?”
Mom scowls as she walks over to the oven and pulls it open to check on the lasagna. She slams it closed. “No. Astrid is probably the most genuinely kind-hearted person I’ve ever met, but she’s a teenager, and she and Atlas have developed a bit of an attitude as of late.”
I chuckle and point at my younger sister. “She’s got you there. Allie’s still young enough to be sweet and innocent.”
Angelina appears at the entry to the kitchen and scans the counters. “Mom, you ready for my help?”
“Yes.” I motion toward the lettuce and other salad ingredients spread out across the cutting board to my right. “I need you to make the salad and start bringing some things to the table. Can you grab your sister and have her come help, too?”
Angie gives me a once-over, narrowing her eyes on me—probably easily seeing the signs of my recent tears. But she thankfully gives me a reprieve from the third degree. “Got it.” She leans out to peek in the living room. “Where is she?”
I force a smile that I hope Ang buys. “One of the bedrooms, with the boys.”
“All right.” Casting another questioning look at us, she disappears down the hallway to find Alessandra.
Everything’s almost ready, and dinner can’t come soon enough. All the tension in the house waiting for Luca and Byron to arrive with Jude needs to break, and the laughter and good-natured ribbing that always happens around the Hawke family table is a great way to do that.
I scan the kitchen. “Anything else we need, Mom?”
She frowns. “It sounds like we’re going to need a few extra bottles of wine.”
My bark of laughter makes her jump slightly. “That’s probably true. I’ll go grab some from the wine fridge.”
And check on the “boys,” who have been left unattended for far too long in the living room.
I make my way out of the kitchen and find Saint, Caroline, and Savage talking with Luca and Byron while Gabe and Landon bicker over a game of Scrabble at the corner table.
Fighting a grin, I sneak up behind Landon and scan his letters, then lean in and whisper in his ear, “Ecstasy, triple word score.”
He jerks his head up toward me, his eyes wide. “Wow. How did I miss that?”
The corners of my lips curl up, remembering the shower last night, and I slide my arms around his neck and down his chest to whisper in his ear again. “I don’t know. You never seem to have any problem giving it to me.” I lean down and press a kiss to his grin. “You guys doing okay?”
He nods and glances back toward the hallway. “Yeah, I saw Ang go back there. What was she doing? Looking for Allie?”
Before I can answer, Angie reappears, her brow furrowed, and walks into the room, bee-lining toward us, but Savage turns away from his conversation with Luca and Byron and raises a hand, stopping her.
“You need something, Ang?”
Her lips twist, and she scans the room. “Has anyone seen Allie?”
My chest immediately tightens. While Allie has always been a bit reckless and precocious, she usually doesn’t disappear. She sticks to Pope like glue when she isn’t with Angie.
Savage shakes his head, looking my way. “No. Why?”
Angie shrugs. “Isaac and Pope said she went after Jude.”
Luca and Byron exchange a look that sends a shiver through me as Savage drums his finger on his knees.
Byron climbs from his seat. “We’ll help you find him.”
He steps up to Luca and whispers something in his ear, and Luca nods and gives him a tight smile, his already dark eyes darkening more than usual.
They approach Angie, and Savage motions toward the bedrooms. “Angelina and I will check the house.” His gaze darts to Luca and Byron. “You two check outside and ask the other kids out there if anyone has seen them.”
Everyone nods their agreement, and Byron and Luca beeline for the front and back doors while Savage follows Angie down the hall toward the bedrooms.
I start to pull away. “I should go after them, help them look for Allie.”
Landon reaches out and grabs my arm. “No.” He shakes his head. “Too many people he doesn’t know descending on them. Leave him be.”
Worry eats a pit in my stomach, but I release a heavy sigh as Landon’s grip tightens around my arm. “If he’s with Allie, he’s fine, and I’m sure they’ll find them. They can’t have gone far.”
“I know. I just…”
Landon’s soft-green eyes—the ones that dragged me out of the abyss—meet mine, and he tugs me down onto his lap, wrapping his arm around me. Gabe watches us from across the table but doesn’t say anything as Landon feathers his lips against my ear.
“You, of all people, should know that this family can bring anyone back from what they think is unlivable, right?”
His words claw at that old scar, the one from losing Ben that can never be erased, and he tightens his grip on me. “The boy will be okay. I promise. Hawkes always rise, right?”
I nod. “Hawkes always rise.”
He presses a kiss to my lips, and I slide off his lap. He smacks my ass. “Now, get back to the kitchen where you belong.”
I laugh and roll my eyes at him.
That man can always break the tension.
He brought me back from the brink of losing myself, and now, hopefully our daughters will do the same for Jude.
* * *
LANDON
Angelina carefully scoops out a little bit of each dish from the table onto two plates while the rest of us slowly pick at our food. Everything is just as delicious as always, but the empty chair where Alessandra usually sits and the one next to hers that Nana put out for Jude are giant elephants in the room.
Storm’s gaze remains locked on her eldest daughter. I know she wants to jump in and offer to help her making the plates for Allie and Jude, but Angie has already made it very clear that she thinks no one else should go back to interrupt them.
I’m not entirely sure how I feel about them eating in a dark closet, but if that’s what it takes to make Jude comfortable, then that’s what is going to happen.
Ang finishes by adding a piece of garlic bread to each plate, then lifts them from the table.
I push my chair back and hold a hand out to stop Storm from doing the same. She’s too emotional about Jude to go back there. “I’ll grab a couple of sodas, so they have something to drink.”
It will save a trip, and I want to check on Allie—even if I keep telling Storm she’s fine and not to.
Angie hesitates for a moment. “That’s a great idea. Thanks, Landon.”
That little pang that always hits me square in the chest when she doesn’t call me “Dad” after all these years returns, but I brush it aside, the same way I always do.
Because I understand why.
I may have stepped in and taken over that role after she lost her father, but I’ll never replace him and would never even try. Ben became a Hawke the moment Storm saw him and fell in love with him, and Angelina is the best of both of them.
She may not be my flesh and blood, but she’s mine in every way that matters, even if she can never think of me as “Dad.”
I move to the kitchen and grab a couple of Cokes, then head down the short hallway to the bedroom that used to belong to Storm. Angie’s soft voice floats out the cracked door, and I slip in to find her on her knees in front of the open closet door, talking quietly with Allie and Jude.
For a moment, I lean against the jamb and watch her, pride swelling in my heart for the strong, thoughtful woman she’s become. She hands the plates to them, and I clear my throat.
She glances over her shoulder at me. “My stepdad brought you guys some sodas.”
I make my way over and squat next to her. Jude and Allie sit with their backs against the closet wall, plates on their laps. Jude gives me a dubious look, but Allie grins.
“This is my dad.”
Jude looks over at her and back at me, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Hey, buddy.” I set the drinks on the floor in front of each of them and give him a little half-wave. “I’m Landon. I’m glad you could join us today.”
Allie rests her plate on her legs and grabs her soda. “Thanks, Dad.”
I reach in and ruffle her hair. “You’re welcome, kiddo. You two enjoy.”
Angie smiles. “I’ll bring you pie later.”
She and I both push up to our feet, and Angie slides the doors halfway closed again, sealing the kids back inside but allowing a sliver of light to stay on them. She follows me out into the hallway and pulls the bedroom door shut behind her. We make it a few steps down the hall before she releases a heavy sigh and leans back against the wall, closing her eyes.
I stop in my tracks and take a step back toward her. “Are you all right?”
Her lids flutter open, and she looks up at me with tears shimmering in her eyes. “I don’t know.”
“I saw you talking with Luca earlier.”
She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and nods. “Yeah. He said…” She trails off. “He said Jude’s dad did something to him.”
I grind my jaw to keep the truth from slipping out. Angie may be an adult now. She may be capable of handling and processing what really happened to Jude, but it isn’t really for any of us to be telling it to the kids.
It isn’t fair to him to have everyone know.
Only the adults do because we need to protect him, to ensure that nothing like this can ever happen to him again, so that we make sure we’re careful with him and give him everything he needs.
“I think Jude will be fine. He seems to really enjoy your sister.”
Angie grins. “Yeah. I have a feeling if he sticks around for a while, they’ll be thick as thieves.”
I wrap my arm around her shoulders and urge her down the hallway back toward the dining room, where the clank of silverware against plates echoes out to us. “I know this has been an unusual Christmas with everything going on, but I want you to know how much your mom and I appreciate what you’re doing for him and for Allie.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
I pull her to a stop before we hit the dining room. “Yes, you are. Whatever happened to Jude…he needed somewhere safe. And he found it. You’re helping protect that space for him—even if it is in a closet. That means a lot.”
Tears well in her eyes, and she swipes them away. “You gave me that, too.”
A vice tightens around my heart. “What do you mean?”
Her lips tremble. “I know it’s hard for me to show it sometimes because”—she swallows a sob—”I really miss my dad, especially on days like this when I can still remember sitting on his lap and opening presents. But I’ll never forget what you did for my mom and for me. Before you came along, she was broken. And I don’t think she would’ve put herself back together if it hadn’t been for you.”
They’re the words I’ve always wanted to hear, that I’ve spent almost fifteen years hoping were true.
And now, my eyes burn with tears that match hers. I reach out and pull her to me, squeezing her tightly and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you, kiddo, you and Allie and your mom, more than anything.”
She nods. “I know.”
“And you never have to apologize to me for how you feel about your dad. Okay?”
She nods and squeezes me back, then releases me as we both try to wipe away the evidence of our little heart-to-heart.
“Let’s go eat. Okay?”
Her head bobs in agreement, and we slip back into the dining room. I had hoped we’d do so without drawing any attention, but all eyes turn our way.
Nana raises a brow from the head of the table. “Everything okay back there?”
I smile. “Yep.”
Angie nods. “Yep. They’re eating. I told them I’d bring them pie.”
Nana smiles. “Good. It wouldn’t be Christmas without a piece of my apple pie, right?”
Everybody murmurs their agreement, and my gaze immediately darts to Storm, who watches me carefully, her eyes bouncing between Angie and me. She knows something else happened. The woman can read me and her daughter way too well to let it slip past her.
The moment I retake my seat, Storm slides her hand over my thigh and squeezes it, leaning in. “Are you two okay?”
I drop a kiss on her cheek. “Better than okay. I promise. And Allie’s fine.”
“Good.”
Savage clears his throat from where he sits at the foot of the table, across from his mother. His bright-blue eyes scan over every one of us, and he raises his wine glass. “I’d like to make a toast.”
Everyone drops their silverware and grabs their glasses, even the kids, whose glasses are filled with sparkling grape juice.
“I know this Christmas has offered us a surprise, but I just wanted to say how happy I am that everyone has stepped up and done their part to welcome Jude for as long as he may be with us.”
His gaze darts to Luca and Byron, who exchange a look.
I can see it in their eyes—they already care about him far too much to ever let him go, just like I did the first moment I met Storm and Angie. From the moment I saw Storm at that party, I knew she was my future, despite her complicated past and how broken she was, how reluctant she was to let me in.
Grief doesn’t follow a linear timeline, and Jude’s recovery from what’s happened to him won’t be, either, but if anyone can help, it’s the people around this table.
Savage inclines his cup toward us. “To the Hawkes. Merry Christmas, everyone.”
“To the Hawkes,” the chorus goes up, and everyone takes a sip.