Breathe
“Let your heart breathe, sweet soul.
Breathe until you remember life’s beauty again.
Breathe as much as you need to,
until you remember your own beauty again.
Take as much time as you need. The world will wait.”
— s. c. laurie
A conscious breath is one of the purest experiences of self-awareness because it instantly brings a gentle awareness to your body and allows your precious lifeforce to flow untethered. Your breath is the spirited, life-giving pulse and rhythm of your being; breathing is an act that is automated and yet completely and blissfully under your control.
In this first important step, I’ll guide you through ideas, stories, and practices to help you anchor into the sweet nothingness of your sacred breath.
Stifling Religion
to Breathtaking Spirituality
I spent the first half of my life tucked inside a swaddle of religion. It was restrictive and uncompromising and made it kind of hard for me to breathe.
Religion taught me a lot from a young age. It gave me an easy relationship with Great Spirit, access to Jesus and Mother Mary, the tools to pray, a community who cared about me on a Soul level, scores of friends, and a love of storytelling. Going to church was great for my spirit in so many ways. But after twenty years of hearing the same messages, it all began to feel unnecessarily fearful and profoundly condescending. Eventually, I became sure of a few things: I wasn’t a “sinner,” I didn’t need to be “saved,” there is no fiery hell in the afterlife, and we’re not judged for everything we do “wrong.”
I needed to leave. I needed to breathe. So, I flew free.
I gave up the hold that religion had on my life and created space to hear myself, see with open eyes, and live from a curious heart. I began the search for what could bring meaning and divinity into my heart without the limiting, patriarchal strings attached.
There I was, twenty years old, confused, wide-eyed, completely naïve, and craving something I couldn’t even name. I’d love to say that I reached out for help and slowly, gracefully, found my way onto a richly creative and inspiring spiritual path, but instead I waded through the murky waters of alcohol, drugs, smoking, casual sex, and other flavors of desperation and self-disrespect. I was trying to feel good to numb my past and liberate my heart. But I had a palate for irreverent adventure, so I rebelled consistently against my better judgment.
Some days I could hear the call of my heart singing like a forgotten bird in the night, but I was working hard—too hard for my sensitive nature. I was drinking way more than my body could handle. I was dabbling in drugs. And I was confusing sex for acceptance and love. With all that going on, there was no space left to listen.
Eventually, and after much heartache, I slowed down. I began to tune inward, just a touch. I felt the flickering flames of self-love. I met the man who’d be my husband and found sex with only one person to be the most liberating sexual act of all. I realized drugs were far too much trouble for a sensitive Soul like me. I calmed down around alcohol (though it would take me a long time to be free from it). I left the eighty-five-hour-a-week job … and I found yoga.
Every time I rolled out my yoga mat, I unfurled a little more of my crumpled Soul. Every time I struck a warrior pose, I unleashed the goddess within. Every time I breathed with the postures, I found my true power. One morning, a friend invited me to her yoga class. It was heart-opening and rather blissful. Afterward, we went back to her place for a cup of tea.
She pulled out a deck of tarot cards for us to play with, which triggered a defensive religious response that gratefully and quickly subsided. As I shuffled her well-worn cards, my heart whispered, Show me what it means to live spiritually, soulfully, with the presence of Great Spirit but without religion, with heaven but not hell; show me a way. Soon enough, a handful of cards were laid before me by my intuitive friend. The Celtic Cross. My eyes mesmerized, my Soul stirring, each card was flipped over, each message loud and clear, each answer absorbed into my whole being with previously unknown delight.
I can’t remember all the cards from that day, but for as long as I live, I’ll never forget the very last card: the Hermit. Standing alone at the end of a cliff, the Hermit scared me. He looked old, sad, and alone. I thought this meant I’d live a long and lonely life, but my friend calmed me with her insight. She said I’d go solo on my spiritual adventure—that I’d find the answers within.
That reading changed everything, though I couldn’t imagine how profoundly at the time. It was the day my spiritual journey really began. Ever since then, I’ve carved my own path: stubbornly, joyfully, imprecisely, organically, selfishly, wildly, courageously. And finally, as I live according to my truth, I can breathe easy.
The Joy of Slow, Mindful Breathing
My prayer is that all beings live free and breathe easy. If your life doesn’t afford you the pleasure and freedom of deep, satisfied breathing, I want to help and encourage you to regularly fill your precious being with full, conscious breaths—the kind that will bring your whole self back to life. From here, the guidance for your life will flow to you much easier. When you breathe, sit gently upright to give your body the best chance at breathing well. Breathe in through your nose until your belly is full—from the pelvic bones up—and then expand your chest with fresh air, too. Now let it all out really slowly through your nose or mouth—whatever feels good. Sigh if you need to. For some, this will be natural and easy; for others, it may take some time to get used to full breathing. Be patient with yourself.
Breathe it all in; let it all out. Slowly, slowly, at your own pace. Keep going until you can feel the gentle power of your lifeforce moving through your whole being. Until you can feel the breath breathing you—your spirit moving your body from within your gut, into your heartspace, and to your brain, stimulating your instinct, intuition, and insight to work freely. Let the breath bring flow into your energetic, emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical systems.
Your breath is the ideal place to start with any intuitive process because it connects you instantly to the energy of your body and draws you out of incessant thinking. Your intuition comes from your physical body and the spirited energy within and around you, not from your logical thoughts. Slow down to breathe, and you will also allow your vagus nerve to facilitate peaceful, healing communication within.
The English word spirit comes from the Latin spiritus, meaning spirit, Soul, courage, vigor, and to breathe. The breath has long been associated with courage and vigor as it summons an inner strength when deep and conscious. It unfurls tension and resistance. It carries you into the present moment where all things are available and possible. Your breath cannot be seen; it connects you to a feeling of nothingness, the most simple and freeing practice of all.
As you keep your deep breathing practice going, let’s bring in some visualizations. You might want to imagine what you’d like to breathe in and what you can let go of with the out breath. A few ideas to try …
Breathe in peace, breathe out fear.
Breathe in harmony, breathe out conflict.
Breathe in healing, breathe out tension.
Breathe in joy, breathe out anger.
Breathe in sovereignty, breathe out unworthiness.
Breathe in oneness, breathe out judgment.
Breathe in love, breathe out love.
Breathe in. Breathe out. There is so much joy to be found in a slow, delicious, full breath. When you find comfort and bliss in your breathing, you’ll never search outside of yourself for them again.
Deep Breaths: A Portal to Wisdom
Every breath is a collaboration between your rhythmical, cyclical, and intelligent body and the rhythms, cycles, and intelligence of Mother Earth. Breathing in draws air into your lungs, whose job is to absorb the available oxygen so that your body can thrive with fresh energy. Breathing out releases carbon dioxide, a biodegradable waste.
If a deep breath is the sweetest route to bliss, then chronic shallow breathing is the swiftest path to stress. Shallow, unconscious breathing is unfortunately the default setting for many; yet it has countless negative, stressful consequences on the mind, body, and Soul. If you continuously breathe this way, your body is always prepared to fight or flight. In this state, you use limited lung capacity, which can cause a build up of toxic carbon dioxide in the blood.
Deep breathing lowers the diaphragm that lives between the lungs and the abdomen to allow the lungs to draw in more air. When you expand the belly, you’re not actually bringing air into the gut, you’re creating space for the diaphragm to drop down so that the lungs have maximum capacity. This increases the levels of oxygen in the blood and nutrients in the cells as well as produces more endorphins: natural pain-relieving chemicals.
You’re more likely to experience greater emotional stability and overall wellness when you breathe deeply because deep breaths also strengthen and stimulate the vagus nerve. When your vagus nerve is strong, it sends a signal to the brain that all is well in your body. When your body is strained, it sends a signal to the brain indicating that you’re in a stressful situation, and the brain commands the body accordingly. This means temporarily or indefinitely switching on the sympathetic nervous system, which keeps you safe by dilating pupils, increasing heart rate, shortening breath, and utilizing other functions designed to deal with a real or imagined threat.
The strange thing is, we’ve reached a point in our evolution as human beings where we spend most of the time with our sympathetic nervous system activated. This means we’re living in fight-or-flight mode, making us chronically stressed and on edge. Technology, fast-paced lifestyles, disconnection from nature and our bodies, and the never-ending search for perfection are the main contributors to this global anxiety. Debt. Chemicals. Bills. Conflict. Screens. Expectations. News. Social media. Noise. Traffic. Fear. Disease. It all adds up to a relatively rough time on this once-serene planet.
While you’re in this state, your instinctual guidance may be uncertain or fearful, while your intuition may not come through so easily. Stress is not a fertile foundation for wholehearted living; it’s difficult to hear your heart when your body thinks it’s on high alert to stay alive. Although this stress state should be temporary, many people live with stress constantly, compulsively, and unconsciously. If you’re focused on being incessantly switched on, pushing your limits, always being available, or carrying a heavy load, you are living in fear. While in this state, it would be nearly impossible to live intuitively.
That’s why deep breathing and other calming, grounding exercises are so important to hear the guidance within. They are the portal to the inner wisdom of your entire being.
• Ritual •
My favorite breathing exercise is so simple and yet extremely effective for those times when I feel stressed. It’s called box or square breathing, and it’s easy to remember and use wherever you go. All breaths should be in and out of your nose, not your mouth. This allows for slower, calmer breathing and more oxygen to enter your body. Simply count to four as you breathe in, hold your breath for four, breathe out for four, and hold for four again. Don’t push yourself to hold your breath if it’s uncomfortable; simply play with the speed until you find a rhythm that feels really nourishing, then you can slow it down when you’re ready.
Conscious Pauses for Presence
Take time to mindfully connect with your breath each and every day; it will do more for your intuitive life than you could imagine.
A daily conscious breathing practice creates space for your presence, where your intuitive self can emerge and truly flourish. When you set aside time to get in touch with your beloved breath, you are creating a sacred, conscious pause that will allow the intuitive magic to unfold from inside you, the earthly instinct to hold you strong, and the mystical insight to seep into your being.
With a regular breathing practice, you begin to live in soulful, aligned motion every day. Meditation becomes simpler, deeper. Upsets are less of a big deal. Joy is found in unexpected places. Fluidity and creativity are easily accessed.
Let your deep breaths work their magic in your meditations, body awareness, daydreaming, exercises, communication, decision- making, emotional reactions, and eating. Anytime you find your belly feeling constricted, your chest tight, or your mind overworked … breathe.
Any kind of conscious pause that allows you to reflect on your inner world and all that it has to offer is one worth pursuing for the sake of flourishing wellness and self-awareness. If you like routine, choose a time of day that you would like to set aside as your conscious pause. It could be in bed or on the bus, after yoga or before lunch; put it in your phone as a quiet alarm to remind you to pause every day. Try five minutes of deep belly breaths to calm your body, invigorate your mind, and connect to love. Try it with your eyes open or closed while seated, standing, or lying down; go with what works in the moment.
Take notes in your journal after your conscious pause if an insight lands that you want to explore or simply remember.
• Practice •
As you explore pauses for breathing, you may want to gently and curiously observe your breath without judgment. Any improvement on the quality of your breathing will organically bring you closer to your still and eternal nature from which your centered intuitive guidance can come to you with ease.
How do you normally breathe? With your belly or chest? Fast or slow? Is this creating a calm awareness in your being? If not, how does it make you feel?
How does your body want to be breathed? What feels most nourishing to your body?
How does your body, mind, and Soul feel after a session of soft, deep breathing?
When is the best time of day for you to pause and breathe deeply? As soon as you wake up, just before bed, or as you sit down to eat? How will you remind yourself of this new ritual so that you will honor it each day?
Higher Awareness
and Earthy Experiences
In 2017, I went through an intensely uncomfortable transformation. My body became more acutely sensitive than ever. My psychic abilities were unlocked further. My sleep was a hot mess. My friendships were all shaken up. And the book I’d been writing for years had to be filed away under “maybe not.”
It was overwhelming, confusing, and painful. Every time I felt alone or ostracized, every time I couldn’t sleep at night, every time I questioned my purpose, my breath would become shallow, and I would fall into a dark cycle of fearful thinking.
Thanks to an understanding of and fondness for meditation and breathing practices, I eventually found my way back to my breath and into my body. Anchored in the breath, I felt reassured in an unspoken way that everything was perfectly fine in a messy yet divinely orchestrated way. It was all an important part of my journey; I just had to surrender to it.
Using my breath as an anchor gave me greater space and perspective in everything that was happening in my life. The breath soothed my body and nudged me toward all I needed to know to bring myself back into alignment, balance, acceptance, surrender, and, ultimately, joy. In the depths of a full breath lay many answers to the mysteries of my suffering.
Breathing helps me understand and appreciate what’s really going on. I slow down to my quiet inner rhythm where I can simply and powerfully be. I witness without reaction.
As you find your own natural breathing rhythm, your energy will become lighter, brighter, and clearer. This is a sumptuous feeling, so your ego may want to fight it. Don’t be scared of living high; you’re simply returning to your natural state.
As the breath takes you into a higher vibration along this conscious journey of awakening, you’ll need to keep yourself grounded. Grounding is essential, because the more time you spend in the higher realms in communion with your Soul and Spirit, the more you need to feel into the earthiness of your existence—into your body and nature and the physical realm. It’s a necessary balance for living on earth as a conscious creature.
There are many ways to do this, but however you can get your bare skin on Mother Earth will suffice. Gardening, beach runs, bushwalks, saltwater baths, eating cooked root vegetables, skinny-dipping, camping, and tree-hugging are all powerfully healing and will bring you back to your body. I also adore beeswax craft, eating with my hands, clay masks, wearing clothing made from natural fibers, and healing with crystals.
Mother Nature holds space like no one else. She grounds your energy. She dissolves your confusion and pain. She wraps her arms around you until you’re okay. She shares her wisdom in many profound ways. And she is the reason for our life-giving breath.
If you become too obsessed with breathing and meditation practices, you might feel flighty, ungrounded, and blown about every which way. When this happens, look for ways to ground your being according to your needs and your inner guidance.
Keep in mind that your Soul is always naturally guiding you, so don’t overthink it. Your inner wisdom will show you how to live with a healthy balance between higher awareness and earthy connection, between giving and receiving, a simple energetic exchange that your breath mirrors so succinctly. Your heart is the midpoint to higher living and earthy grounding; let it guide you well.
Awakening the Lifeforce of Your Spirit
In the early days of awakening the breath, you may find that something else awakens inside you. Your thoughts may feel raw and honest, sleep habits may change, your body may require different foods, or you may be more psychic, empathic, or receptive. This is your lifeforce stirring, opening you to your Soul on a vibrant new level. You might feel sparkly, bright, and more conscious. You may also feel tentative, uncomfortable, or awkward. It’s okay. Growth can be weird. Transformation is rarely comfortable. Conscious living means shedding old, cosy, and fearful ways of thinking and being. Breathe through it. Witness it and accept it for what it is. Do your best not to resist or overthink what is happening. If awkward becomes painful, find a spiritual mentor, join a healing circle, invest in energy healing, or see a professional counselor.
As you connect to your inner wisdom, you will create a greater awareness of self and awaken to your truth. It’s impossible not to. This is all part of spiritual awakening. Waking up can happen at any time. For some, it’s an overnight wake-up call. For others, it’s a slow, organic process, sped up a little by children, partners, illness, grief, career change, or other transitions. Waking up happens for many reasons. Mostly, it’s your mind and body aligning to your Highest Self and responding to the pull of your Soul.
Here are some signs of awakening:
• You question everything.
• You begin to trust yourself first.
• You follow your heart over your head.
• Your happiness comes from within, not externally.
• You set boundaries in place where there once were insecurities.
• You connect to something bigger and you recognize oneness.
As I’ve seen regularly in my own life and in the lives of clients and friends, the biggest block to awakening, expanding, and strengthening your inner connection is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of your own greatness. Fear of what other people will think. Fear of releasing attachments to all you have and know.
As simple as it may sound, the best antidote to fear is deep breathing and fueling your thoughts with love. Keep breathing and believing that the unknown is full of abundance and magic. Keep breathing and believing that you are worthy of greatness on all levels. Keep breathing and believing that the right people will be there to support and adore you. Keep breathing and believing that what is aligned with your Soul is worth deep transformation.
Many of us fear failure, a feeling that can paralyze the breath and disconnect us from our wise selves. But there’s no such thing as failure when you’re on your path. When things go “wrong,” it’s simply the universe moving you in a different direction. When you feel like you’ve failed, take a big, compassionate breath, tune in to the truth of what’s really happening, and look for the gift in the situation. Don’t freeze in fear. Nothing is wrong. Take time to acknowledge that and always come back to love. This process is meant to stir up your foundation so that the seeds you sow will grow into the most abundant, rewarding, satisfying, and loving life possible.
• Ritual •
If you find meditation difficult, take a moment today to be still while repeating an affirmation. By consciously expressing your gratitude and embracing your breath, you’re training your body to flow with the breath while welcoming new beliefs. Slow living may not be possible every day, but a deep breath is always accessible in any moment. Try one or all of these if you like, or create your own with words from your heart.
I am worthy to consciously awaken and live a self-aware life.
I am grateful for my lifeforce and proud to be me.
I fully express myself every day.
I love my body with every breath.
I slow down to the speed of my Soul.
I am safe to travel to the depths of my being.
I accept all of me, however that looks and feels today.
I adore the life I have created.
I am open to receiving guidance with every breath.
Awareness and Acceptance
of Your Whole Self
Belly breathing opens you to a richer awareness of your whole self. When you become aware of all of you and embrace yourself exactly as you are, without labeling or judging, a gentle but radical shift is created in your life.
As you get to know and love yourself deeper, your ego will still be there, hoping to put you back in your place in the seat of fear where it can control you. It might remind you to stay small, to stop thinking you’re “so spiritual,” or point out what’s “wrong” with you that needs “fixing.” It will also try to undermine your breathing practice, giving you ten things you could do instead to be more productive.
Notice whatever messages arise from the ego without argument, then go straight back to being blissfully aware. Keep at it. Keep witnessing, accepting, loving, and showing up for your whole self and your wild breath.
The ego makes anything new sound scary because it doesn’t like change. I’ve heard many clients talk about their concerns along their Soul’s path, but I can see it’s usually the ego talking.
They’re scared they won’t hear their own inner wisdom clearly … so they deny it.
They’re scared they won’t like what they hear … so they block the flow.
They’re scared they’ll have to do everything they hear … so they hesitate.
They’re scared that others will think they’re selfish … so they keep following the crowd.
Here’s the thing: once you’ve accepted all of yourself (there will be many opportunities throughout this book—and your life—to practice this), you won’t have anything left to fear. That sounds radical because it is. Knowing yourself is a lifelong journey of discovery, acceptance, and love. It’s a journey that allows you to release the fears that are holding you back from living your most abundant life.
Like anything you try, the process will become easier the more you practice. Keep breathing, and no matter what comes to your heart and mind as you breathe, accept it. Accept the anger, jealousy, confusion, frustration, anxiety, bitterness, embarrassment, worry, guilt, shame, despair, disappointment, stress, tension, and anything else you’ve been taught is “bad,” then let it go. This is the beauty of breathing through difficult emotions: the breath becomes the vehicle through which we are able to release heavy emotions and come back to love.
Welcome all this difficulty and negativity, along with all your sweet positivity, with open arms and let it move through you with the breath; let it all dissolve in its own time in the well of love inside. Keep breathing. You’re an amazing being.
• Practice •
As you keep progressing through your journal—or however you enjoy connecting with the prompts in this book—you may be noticing where fear comes in and tries to trip you up and where love comes in to boost your confidence and vibration. Keep noticing both without attachment. Simply be honest. In all things, be loyal to your truth.
How are you being called to anchor into your body today? Does your body need to stretch, eat differently, dance wildly, sing loudly, or have a bath? Feel into your body and allow it to communicate its needs and desires to you.
How do you cultivate peace in your daily life? What brings peaceful thoughts to mind? What makes your body feel immersed in ease? How is your Soul wanting to give you access to deeper contentment?
What powerful emotions have been swirling inside you today? What messages or gifts do they have for you? What thoughts are you attaching to the emotions that aren’t necessary or helpful? Can you simply let them be and let them go?
When it comes to self-awareness, is there anything you’re scared of? What does your Soul have to say in response? What does love have to offer your fears? Close your eyes and ask the wisdom within what it wants to tell or show you.
• Ritual •
Prayers are visions, requests, yearnings, hopes, dreams, or desires come to life through words. When I pray, I sit in silence and gently focus on my deep breaths until words come from my being and wash through me. With prayers, I tend not to beg for anything, but to instead give thanks for everything while authentically acknowledging my highest desires.
I wrote this prayer for you to witness your awareness and awakening from a sacred point of view. Say this prayer anytime you wish to open to your inner wisdom, your magical presence, with gratitude and eternal worthiness.
As my stillness sacredly awakens the lifeforce of my Soul
May I accept myself and know my truth
May I value my voice, my time, my energy
And may I feel connected to the whole through each breath.
May my sacred heart guide the way
As I lean into each precious moment before me.
Through the willingness to be present
I access a portal to the deepest love.
I am grateful for all that is
For all that I have experienced
And for all that shall be.
So it is.