10

Kalajoki, Finland

"What is the matter with me, Kaino? His family moves into my house as refugees and a week later, I can't stop thinking about him."

Anna flung herself backward into a pile of hay in her father's hayloft and let her body sink into the itchy pile. Frowning, she allowed herself a few moments to let it all sink in.

After Henrick, she had sworn she would never again allow herself to feel like this for a man. Yet here she was, doing it again. Only this time it was worse. Every time Matti came near she got all sweaty and fluttery. She pictured the large words she had scrawled across the pages of her journal just last week.

Forget about getting married. Make your own plans. You don't need a husband anyway.

Good advice. Advice that Anna should probably heed right now, because she wasn't about to give up her plans to move to America for anyone.

Even Matti Ranta.

"I've never seen you like this, Anna. Your Soldier Boy must be handsome."

"Yes, Kaino.Handsome.And stubborn and pig-headed and dead set on fighting in a war that will do nothing but bring pain and destruction to Finland."

"And tall and blond and walks with a smooth swagger, as if he just knows what he wants and how he'll get it?"

"That's about right. How did you guess?"

"I'm pretty sure he's swaggering toward us right now."

Anna shot up onto her elbows, quickly brushing yellow strands of hay off of her dress. She turned toward the direction Kaino stared.

Matti walked straight toward them, wearing a pair of military-issue khakis and a white shirt, looking as dreamy as ever.

She moaned.

Kaino laughed. "He is handsome, Anna."

She tucked that wayward strand of hair behind her ear. For the ten thousandth time, you’re not looking for romance. Not now, not ever. She pasted an all-business smile onto her face and vowed to be calm and collected around Matti.

"Hello, Matti. This is my friend Kaino Korkonen."

Kaino stood, tossed her long, blonde braid behind her shoulder, and leapt down out of the hayloft before doing a quick curtsy. She held out a slender hand. "It's good to meet you, Matti. I've heard a lot about you."

Anna glared at Kaino, blushing. Matti now knew she had been talking about him. As if this situation could get any more awkward.

"Hello, Kaino. It's a pleasure to meet you." Matti shook her hand and then turned to Anna. "Your brothers are taking me out to the river to go fishing, and I was wondering if you would like to come along."

Anna's mouth dropped open as she tried to think of an excuse that wouldn't sound as desperate as she felt. As nice as it would be to spend the afternoon by the water, her fragile emotions couldn't withstand an afternoon with Matti. Especially if just being around him for two minutes made her feel all giggly and irrational. "I can't. My mom needs me in the kitchen."

"I already asked her. She said you could come along as long as you promised to bring back some fish for her to fry up for dinner."

She quickly turned to Kaino, pleading with her eyes. "Kaino was just telling me that we hadn't had much time together recently so I would hate to leave…"

Kaino interrupted before Anna could finish. "I'll come with you guys. Let me just run home and grab my fishing pole. My mom would love some fish for dinner tonight."

"Great," Matti shouted, already turning to head back to the barn to grab poles and bait. "Come on, Anna! Your mom said she was packing us a picnic lunch to eat while we fish."

Less than an hour later, Anna sat wrapped in a hand-knitted afghan in the shade of an old spruce tree next to the Kalajoki River. She pulled the blanket tighter and shivered in the cool spring air. Anna tried not to stare at Matti, standing less than twenty meters away with a fishing pole leaning against his knee.

At least they would have plenty of fish stored up and canned for next winter. And they'd need it, too, since it was looking as though the Rantas would be staying with them for much longer than any of them had previously expected.

There hadn't been any retractions to the peace treaty. No one was admitting a mistake or calling for all Finns to return to Karelia as Anna had hoped. Instead, the news was full of tragic stories about families like the Rantas losing everything. With each passing day, it became clearer. Finland would get sucked into this war. That or half of her population would be left homeless.

Anna turned her gaze toward Matti and her heart ached for him. He had lost so much. And he had so much more to lose. Anna was a bit proud of him.

Standing there all strong and confident by the water, stubbornly dead set on fighting, Matti was passionate. She would give him that. And honest and kind and…well, his blue eyes were so light that they almost looked violet. His pale skin almost glowed in the early afternoon sunlight. His blond hair was mostly straight but curled a tiny bit above his ears. Would his commanding officer require him to cut it so it wouldn't curl out from under his uniform cap?

He carefully strung a herring head onto his hook, explaining to her brothers that fresh fish heads and guts were the very best bait when it came to catching the biggest trout.

"Eww!" they all screamed, but then followed Matti's lead and strung their own hooks with a variety of fish entrails. No one seemed to ever doubt a word Matti said.

Except for her, of course. Fish guts. Gross.

Anna turned her head toward Kaino, who dozed on the blanket, her unused fishing pole propped against a tree. A lot of help Kaino was today.

She must look pretty silly sitting on the blanket staring at them while they fished. She was a perfectly capable woman…who was scared away from the water by a few fish heads. Standing, Anna buttoned her coat, grabbed her pole, and found a spot far enough away from the boys so she wouldn't have to smell their fish guts. She dug a chunk of dried herring out her dad's bait bag and strung her hook with civilized bait before dropping her line, hoping that maybe the peace and quiet of the river would clear her racing mind. It did nothing of the sort.

She quickly went through her mental list of the reasons she didn't want a man like Matti. He was a down-home Finnish country boy who planned on living his whole life here. He wanted to settle down, have a family. He wanted to fight for home and country and all that.

She had different plans. Bigger plans.

She wouldn’t stay in Finland. Not where war had stolen everything she had dreamed of. No, she would move to the United States and go to art school. She would get a great job and settle down in a cozy house somewhere and…well, there was no room in that plan for a man like Matti. Even one who made her heart race with a crooked smile.

"Catch anything, Anna?" Matti's calm voice interrupted her racing thoughts.

"Nope. Not a thing."

He held up a string with seven beautiful trout. "Well, we caught more than enough for dinner tonight, plus several to can for winter."

Anna tried to smile, slightly annoyed that his fish guts were actually working. No wonder he was so confident. It seemed as if he was always right about everything.

"Mom will be happy to have fresh fish for dinner."

"Yes. I'm sure…" The conversation trailed off, neither of them knowing what to say or how to say it.

The air seemed to flicker whenever Matti was next to her…as if the bright lights from the aurora were flashing around them, in and out through their conversation. She couldn't breathe when he was around. He turned toward her, giving her that heart-melting smile she had come to know as Matti's gentle hello.

"Anna." He plopped down beside her in the damp grass, careful not to get tangled up in her unmoving line. The trickle of the river seemed to go silent. As if time stood still for them, for their conversation.

She waited for him to finish his thought, the cool breeze making her wonder if summer would ever come to Kalajoki. Certainly not today.

"I know you don't like this war. I know you don't like anything about it. And if I'm being honest, I don't either. But I've always felt it was my duty to fight. To fight for Finland, for my family. Until…"

"Until what, Matti?"

"Until you. Now I wonder if it's all worth it."

Anna's heart sped. What might it be like to be in his arms? To be safe, protected, loved. She should get up and run far away. But she couldn't.

Not when she had never felt like this before.