14
Kalajoki, Finland
One more day.
The words echoed in her mind, taunting her as she carefully buttoned the wooden buttons on her best dress. He had asked her if he could take her out to dinner to say goodbye.
She shivered, pulling her red, hand-knitted cardigan over her shoulders. Who knew if she'd see him again? After what had happened with Henrik, she was well aware that life was tenuous. And even if they did see each other, it wasn’t as if they were, well...anything.
Her heart began to pound. Could he be her boyfriend? They had only just met and he was leaving for who knew how long. But he could be. Yes, she was willing to admit it that he could be. "Don't even think like that right now," she whispered to her reflection in the dingy mirror on her dresser.
A soft knock sounded on her bedroom door.
Anna turned around. "Hi, Mama." She allowed her mom to smooth out her hair.
"Matti is waiting for you in the parlor."
Anna pursed her lips together, willing herself to keep it together and hold her emotions in check for one last night.
"Anna…." Mama's voice trailed off.
"It's all right." Anna put on her bravest face. "I'm all right."
She slipped her practical black pumps over bare feet and pinched her cheeks to bring some redness, some cheeriness. She glanced in the mirror one more time, measured herself, liking what she saw. No stockings, but at least she looked somewhat presentable. Tucking that wayward strand behind her ear, she turned and sauntered into the parlor. "Hi, Matti."
He leaned over and whispered into her ear. "You look beautiful, Anna."
She turned and waved goodbye to her parents, who stood by the stove with barely contained smiles.
"I'll have her home by ten, sir. And don't worry. Your little girl will have the best of care."
"Have her home by nine, sergeant." Her father smiled.
"Yes, sir!" Matti gave a mock salute and lead Anna out the door. "I thought about taking the horses, but it's so lovely out, would you be up for a walk?"
"Why, of course, soldier boy, as long as you keep your eye out for horse poo. I'd hate to stink at dinner."
"I do not need a stinky date." Matti tentatively looped his arm through hers. "I'm so glad we met, Anna Ojala. And just in the nick of time—you with your big plans to go to America. You would've had those Yanks lining up for you."
Anna's laugher came out jingling and melodic, just how she felt when Matti was around. As if music burst around her, inviting her to sashay through a meadow, or something sappy and romantic like that. Rolling her eyes at her poetic thoughts, she couldn't help but giggle again.
No one had ever made her stomach flutter like this before. Even talk about going to America didn't bother her tonight. In fact, the only thing that bothered her was that niggling reminder that he was leaving tomorrow. And she may never see him again.
"So, where are you taking me?"
"Well, considering the fact that there's only one restaurant in Kalajoki, I'm sure it will come as a surprise to you that I’m taking you to Iida Merenelävät."
"I knew it. I figured it out as soon as you turned onto Pääkatu Street."
"Brilliant detective skills."
While sauntering up the lane to the tiny house that served as both Iida Niskala's home and business, Anna explained that Iida had recently moved the tables out of the center of the room to make room for a dance floor. She said it was her effort to boost morale in town, although she thought it was perhaps more of an excuse for Iida to dance. Rumor had it she had been an amazing dancer when she was younger.
Regardless, anyone could see that Kalajoki needed a morale boost. The mixture of defeated soldiers on leave and peace treaty refugees certainly hadn't brought Christmas in May.
Iida led them to a corner table.
Matti pulled out a chair for Anna before sitting down on his own and unbuttoning the top button of his uniform. He raised one corner of his mouth in a forced smile. "Can I tempt you with a soda?"
"That'd be great." Luxuries like American soda were a rare treat in Anna's world—in fact, she had only tried the soda once in her life.
Iida hurried off with their drink orders.
Anna turned her attention back to Matti. "Are you scared to go?" The words slipped out before she had the chance to censor them.
"Yes and no. I'm not scared to fight. I know it will be hard—cold, miserable, and terrifying—but I also know it's right. We can't lose Lake Lagoda and the rest of Karelia. But I don't want to leave my family. Or...you."
Anna choked back a lump. Was it possible that he felt that same flutter of hope when he thought of her? Maybe they had a chance to be something more than...well, more than whatever it was they were right now.
Matti broke through her teetering emotions with a handsome grin. "Would you care to dance?"
Oh, goodness, she wasn't exactly a graceful dancer. She'd square danced with Kaino on sunny lakeside afternoons but never in public. And never with a man. What if she fell all over herself? Or worse, stomped all over his toes? She wasn't exactly known for her grace and rhythm. Anna let out a soft sigh and looked at Matti. Those big blue eyes.That soft smile. How could she say no to him?
She couldn't. She grabbed his hand and led him onto the dance floor. Turning, she gazed into his face, handsome even in the dim light, and did her best to act as though she knew what she was doing. Holding up her palms with a shrug, she allowed him to wrap his hands around her waist.
"So, Miss War Committee Sock Making Queen," he whispered. "How are you feeling about everything?"
Anna drop her gaze, suddenly self-conscious about her bare legs. They had spent all winter knitting socks for the soldiers, which left very little time and supplies for making her own unmentionables. What if she brushed against Matti with her bare legs? How embarrassing.
He pulled her closer, yanking her out of her reverie. He didn't seem to care about her bare legs. Or that the music was scratchy. Or even about her inability to dance with any semblance of coordination.
No, tonight, her solider boy didn't seem to care about anything but her.
He hummed softly in her ear along with the saxophone solo playing on the record. Matti's soft humming soothed her, relaxed her. Soft as the whisper of a thousand promises—a lifetime of gentle moments, stolen kisses, simple yet strong love. Promises she wasn't sure could ever come to be.
"You're a good dancer, Matti. I think I need lessons."
Matti beamed. "My mom taught me. She said it would come in useful someday. I guess it has."
"Well, maybe I should have her teach me. Then you can come back and I can really show you how it's done."
He pulled her to his side, spun her around the floor so quickly her feet left the ground.
“Ahh!” She clung to his shoulders, trying to maintain some semblance of balance and grace. "I hope I don't stomp on your toe."
"Wouldn't be the first time."
Anna punched him in the arm. "Not fair. You drag me out onto the dance floor and then insult me?"
He spun her around in a circle, dipping her backward before pulling her up to him, his face so close his warm and sweet breath caressed her.
"Nice move. You’d think you planned that."
"Maybe I did." He gave her that schoolboy smile—the one that made her insides melt and her guard drop. She searched his eyes, wondering if his emotions matched hers, looking for a sign that this was real, that it would last.
Instead she saw her brother Aabel.
She skittered backward and smoothed her skirt, frowning at Aabel as he walked up behind Matti. "Aabel. What are you doing here?" This was supposed to be her night. Hers and Matti's. Why in the world would her brother be in the restaurant?
"I'm sorry Anna. Matti." Aabel's words rushed out, the strain in his voice punching Anna in the stomach. "But a message came for Matti. It was marked urgent so Mama had me race down here." He held out a small cream telegraph page, his hand trembling.
Matti grabbed and unfolded the thin paper, frowning as he read the page. He looked up at her, his eyes dark. "Anna. I'm so sorry, but I have to go. They're calling our unit back to Helsinki a day early."
"Early?" The word stuck in her throat. "But you have one more night."
"No, it doesn't look like it. It looks as if they want me on the last train out tonight." He glanced at his watch and closed his eyes. "It leaves in less than an hour. I need to go now."
Anna slumped against the wall as Matti walked over to their table and slipped his arms into his navy jacket. He left money on the white tablecloth and then turned back to Anna.
"I'll escort her home, Matti. You go ahead." Her brother stepped beside her, placing his hand on her shoulder.
"Anna. I'm so sorry." Matti wrapped his arm around her in an awkward side-hug. Just minutes ago, he had almost kissed her. Now he hardly touched her.
So much for Matti as a boyfriend.
Anna swallowed hard. Would she ever see him again?
"Anna?" His voice sounded pinched now. "I didn't want to leave like this, but I don't have a choice. Will you promise to write?"
She took a deep breath, bit her lip, and willed herself not to cry.
He turned and ran out the door, seemingly desperate to make the last train out of town. More like the last train out of her life.
Trying not to cry, she hooked her arm into her brother's elbow and began to walk home. Had the last three weeks been nothing more than a misguided dream?
Or the biggest mistake of her life.