Valteri blew out the lantern, his thoughts drifting between Ariel’s innate goodness and her brother’s causticity. How could they have come from the same womb?
He frowned as a familiar tightness settled in his gullet. Would he have been so different from his twin brother had his brother lived?
Would his unnamed brother have been cursed with his deformity?
While it was selfish of him, a part of his being that he didn’t want to think about was angry that his brother had been spared the misery. At least if his brother had lived, there would have been someone else who would have understood his mindset. His anger at the injustice of his life.
Would they have even been friends?
It was a lot to think about. For all he knew, his brother would have been normal and would have been the first to curse him for casting a shadow on his brother’s “normality.”
Weary and cold, he leaned his head against the coarse wood of the stall, and allowed his pain to flow freely through him. All his life, he’d wondered how things might have been had either his father or brother been around.
If his mother had actually claimed him.
Valteri preferred to think that they’d have been like William. Definitely reserved and respectful, but not cruel, fearful, or hating.
Closing his eyes, he could still remember the first time he’d seen William. His brother had ridden three weeks to visit the small monastery where their maternal grandfather had abandoned him. Brother Jerome had often described the fear in his grandfather’s eyes. “Fulbert of Falaise begged us to save your soul, boy, and that’s what we’re going to do!”
They might have saved his soul, but it came at the expense of Valteri ever believing there could be a god who would turn a blind eye to the cruelty of those who served Him, abusing an innocent child.
How could they really save his soul while they condemned their own?
Ignorant sycophants. How could anyone believe their lies?
Yet Valteri could never truly fault his grandfather for his superstition, any more than he could fault all the poor religious shandys who clung to their beliefs. It seemed ever the plight of the sheep to follow after whatever wolf led them.
Not that William, for all his piety, had ever listened to those evil tales. Honestly, Valteri still didn’t understand why his brother had been different.
Other than the fact that Will had never been anyone’s sheep.
To this day, Will hadn’t told him why he’d come that day. William had always attributed it to divine providence.
“I was meant to find you, brother.”
Whatever it’d been, it’d changed his life, as Will had set him free from that monastery hell and put him under the military tutelage of one of his allies. From that day forward, he’d ceased being the poor possessed child the brothers struggled to exorcize, and had become a determined squire. He’d trained harder than the other boys, knowing he must be the fiercest if he was to ever silence their mockery and scorn.
Even though Lord Hugh had been a bastard who had no more love of him than anyone else, he’d taught Valteri everything he needed to go to war.
Aye, he’d cracked a few skulls, but in the end he’d achieved his long-sought peace. No one dared taunt him to his face.
Not even Hugh.
Until now.
“Valteri?”
He jumped at the gentle voice behind him. How had she come upon him without his hearing her?
“I’m here, milady.”
Ariel walked forward into the stable. He felt more than saw her.
The horses immediately quieted as if her presence soothed them as much as it did him. She held her arms outstretched, tentatively searching the area around her, and walked slowly into the darkness where he sat.
The dark shadows where he lived.
Cursing himself for the stupidity, he rose and closed the distance between them. Even more foolish, he took her outstretched hands. Her cold fingers trembled in his and the softness of her skin reminded him of everything he’d ever wanted.
Everything he’d been denied.
“Why have you come?”
“I was worried over you. I kept thinking you’d return, and when you didn’t … I just had a feeling inside that told me to find you.”
He cherished those words. And damned them.
She shivered from the cold, and the wetness of her kirtle that clung to those feminine curves that haunted him, while dreaming and awake.
“You’re soaked through,” Valteri growled, his hands tightening on hers an instant before he released her.
Ariel reached for where he’d been, but found nothing other than blackness, and she feared he’d left her alone.
Until he returned with a blanket, and draped it over her shoulders. She smiled at his kindness.
“’Twould seem I’m forever drying you off.”
She laughed at his gruff tone, and adjusted the blanket, her cheeks warming as she remembered what had happened after the last time he’d chased away the cold.
And at this moment she would happily welcome his touch. Especially the tenderness of his kiss.
Just looking at him, she burned in a way she’d have never thought possible.
“For your kind attention, Lord Gallant, I’d gladly hurl myself into a lake.”
He moved away and she sensed her words had upset him.
She closed the gap between them. “I didn’t mean to—” She gasped as her foot caught against something, and she stumbled.
Suddenly, strong arms surrounded her as she collided with his hard body. Once more, she remembered the night before. His bold caresses.
Fire danced in her stomach.
Would he ever again seek her out, or would she forever be forced to go to him?
“Thank you,” she whispered, reaching up to touch his face.
“Here.” His voice was gruff as he lowered her to the straw-lined floor, and took her hand away from his cheek.
When he started to move away, Ariel grabbed his arm and pulled him to sit beside her. “Nay, Valteri. I would have you speak with me, not flee into the darkness like a demon afraid of light.”
“And what if I were just that?”
Again, she wished she could see his face. But then, perhaps he found comfort in the shadows that he claimed as home.
Perhaps he needed that in order to confide in her.
Aye, since he couldn’t see her, maybe he’d finally open the chains that he kept sealed around his heart and thoughts.
“We both know what you are, milord.”
He snorted. “I know what you think me to be and I know truthfully what I am. You, dearest Ariel, delude yourself with a fanciful image of some kind and noble man, who will rescue you from the clutches of your foul brother.”
She frowned in confusion. “Is that not what you did?”
“Aye.” His gruff voice was full of bitterness. “But in my haste I worsened your situation. Before, you were a treasure any lord would gladly take. Now that you’ve bound yourself to me, you’ll know scorn the likes of which you cannot imagine.”
“Like the Saxon in the hall this night?”
He released his breath in a rush, and for a moment she thought he’d leave.
Then he drew a ragged breath. “His words were mild. Your people are defeated and they fear us now. Even drunk, he didn’t plow the truly callous field of stinging insults that you’ll come to know soon. He knew only too well what crop awaited him, should he sow that discontent and harvest my wrath.”
Biting her lip against the sudden swell of sympathetic pain, she thought over the Saxon man and his remarks. If only she could have prevented them from ever being spoken.
But the real question was how many years had Valteri been subjected to such?
A painful knot closed her throat and she drew a deep breath. Would she ever find a way to touch the heart inside him?
More to the point, would she ever be able to show him what she saw? That he not only had one, but held the kind, gentle heart all men should have.
“Come.” He held his hand out for her. “I must return you to the hall.”
“I’d rather stay with you.”
He shook his head. “You cannot, Ariel. You don’t belong in my world. It would destroy you.”
Ariel started to argue, but was too weary. Valteri was a stubborn man and it would take more than mere words to persuade him to her cause. Perhaps in time she might find a way to reach him, but would he give her that time?
Sighing, she took his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet.
Tired and weary, she followed him through the stable with only the sound of crunching straw and falling rain breaking the tense silence between them.
He pushed open the door so that they could head back to the hall, and paused. Loud thunder clapped and a new burst of rain broke. Winds howled in her ears.
Cursing, Valteri closed the doors with a loud clatter and moved her back. “We’ll have to wait awhile for the rain to slacken.”
She smiled, grateful for the weather’s intervention.
His silence almost tangible, Valteri led her back to the stall. “Rest yourself. I’ll wake you when ’tis time.” He moved away.
“Will you not sit with me?”
She felt his reluctance as he took a seat beside her.
Ariel placed her head on his shoulder. He tensed for a moment as if he fought with himself, then he relaxed and draped an arm over her.
Savoring the rich scent of him, the warmth of his body so close to hers, she closed her eyes and wished for the courage it would take to strip his tunic from him and relive her memories of the night before. But should she try, he’d push her away and leave her longing. I will find a way to reach you, Valteri.
Somehow.
Before it was too late.
“Milady?”
Ariel came awake with a slow stretch. She opened her eyes to see Wace standing over her. Frowning in confusion, she clutched the blanket to her chin and scanned her chambers. How had she gotten here?
“Where’s Lord Valteri?”
Wace grinned. “He left early this morn with several men. He said to tell you he’d return this even.”
Wace wagged his brows, the implication of which she knew full well. “He carried you in at first light and warned me to make certain you were left undisturbed.”
She returned his smile, but it went no further than her lips. Why had Valteri not awakened her as he’d promised?
Did this mean he’d kept her by his side all night? Even though he constantly protested her presence and sought to leave it?
She shook her head over her baffling husband.
Wace looked past his shoulder, into the hall. “I wouldn’t have disturbed you now, milady, but a friar has come and he seeks the lord or lady of the hall.”
Ariel scowled at those words. “A friar, you say?”
“Aye.”
A sudden thought brought a smile and lifted her spirits. This just might be the chance to ease everyone’s fear of Valteri. If she could get the friar on their side, surely the others would see he wasn’t a demon.
Throwing back the covers, she rose from bed.
Ariel hesitated as she realized Valteri had left her fully clothed.
Right down to her shoes.
How odd, indeed. They were married now, and even after the passion he’d shown the night they’d been together, he still acted as if he, the fearless, was terrified of touching her.
“Milady, he waits.”
Nodding at Wace’s insistence, Ariel followed him into the hall. The short, rotund friar immediately stood, his face aghast.
Wondering at the strange reaction, she shortened the distance between them. “Greetings, Brother…?”
“Edred.” He nervously brushed his hand over his tonsure. Redness spread over his cheeks and up to the small shaven circle. He cleared his throat and settled a steely gray gaze upon her. “I received a message from a Lord Valteri two days ago asking for someone to come bless graves and administer last rites. I understand some sort of accident took place?”
Of course he did.
Valteri the Godless had asked for a friar to take care of the needs of his people.
But why had Valteri not spoken up when the Saxon criticized him before all for not having done so?
Because he only defends himself on the battlefield and with a sword. He was wise enough to know that words seldom changed anyone’s mind. Therefore, he didn’t bother to even try them.
No doubt, as a boy, words had only worsened his punishments and criticisms and taught him not to bother.
“I apologize for my delay,” the friar continued. “But there was a poor possessed child who needed my aid and I couldn’t come any sooner.”
“And how was she possessed, good brother?” Belial asked in a mocking tone as he entered the hall behind the friar. He leaned in the doorway, a menacing smile on his lips.
“She was…” The friar paused, then frowned. “How did milord know ’twas a girl?”
Belial shook his head. “’Tis the look about you, good brother.” He joined them in the hall and wound his arm about her waist. “And the untoward look in your eyes when you addressed my fair sister.”
The friar’s jaw began to flop like a fish dumped from his water as he realized Belial had just insulted him. His eyes widened and a wave of anger crashed through Ariel.
“Apologize to the friar,” she said through clenched teeth. “’Tis no need for you to insult him so.”
Belial cast a warning glare to her that sent a frigid shiver of fear down her spine.
Ariel blinked, her mind faltering as another memory surfaced.
“Be nice and sacrifice yourself for me.” The words spun through her head, repeating themselves over and over.
Aye, ’twas Belial’s voice.
Only he’d looked different then. “Milady?” Brother Edred stepped forward and took her arm.
Ariel glanced from him to Belial, whose brow was lined with …
Was it fear?
Yet she couldn’t make herself believe Belial would fear anything.
“My sister has had an accident herself.” There was no mistaking the caution of Belial’s tone. “For days now, she cannot recall herself and is given to spells of dizziness.”
“Is milady poss—”
“Nay, Friar, don’t say that,” Belial warned. “Not in this hall. Such words would bring out the fiercest wrath of her husband, who guards her like treasure.”
Ariel stared at him. What was he trying to do? Strange, indiscernible whispers shot through her head and a part of her told her if she listened carefully enough, those whispers would answer her questions.
Belial brushed the hair from her cheek and her thoughts stilled. A strange glow hovered in Belial’s eyes and one corner of his mouth crooked up. He looked to the friar. “Were I you, Friar, I’d avoid the lady’s presence as much as possible.”
Brother Edred frowned. “How mean you?”
The slow smile that spread across Belial’s face appeared sinister and cold, and a shiver of fear slid to her stomach and clenched it tight. “In due time, brother. But come. I shall show you to the graves and families of the people who need your ministrations.”
Ariel watched the two of them leave, and the hazy images of her mind cleared.
Her brother’s alliance with the friar didn’t bode well. Belial was a wicked man.
Wicked and cold.
Every time he placed a hand upon her, she could feel it in his touch. See it in his eyes.
Over the last few days, he’d made no attempt to speak with anyone other than Valteri or her, and she knew he must have something evil planned to seek the friar now.
But who was he trying to harm?
Part of her urged her to go after them and speak with the friar alone, but another part warned her to stay clear until Valteri’s return.
Belial was right about that much. Valteri wouldn’t welcome finding her in the presence of clergy. Not with the way he hated them and was forever suspicious of their motives.
Heeding that warning, she returned to her chambers to wash and redress.
Valteri reined his horse to a stop. By the looks of his men, he could tell they were ready to return, yet each held his tongue. In fact, as he studied them, he realized not one man among them would even dare meet his gaze.
As soon as he cast a glance at any of them, his subject would avert his eyes.
Bitter amusement filled him. There were some advantages to being well feared. No one dared voice a complaint, but then no one ever approached him for any other purpose either.
He’d never noticed that before. Not until Ariel made him realize just how isolated he’d become. How many nights he’d spent alone without friend, without comfort.
Other than Wace, and even he kept a respectful distance. As his squire, the boy didn’t want to overstep his bounds. And Valteri had always been too suspicious of others to even trust his own squire.
That random thought disgusted him.
But Ariel was different. She sought him out even when he wanted to be left alone. Instead of angering him …
He welcomed her friendship and presence.
Thirty days. Just thirty short days since he’d first seen her and already she’d ingrained herself into his life.
And he hated himself for that weakness. He knew better than to hold tender thoughts for another, especially a woman.
So why couldn’t he block her from his mind?
Valteri winced at the pain in his chest. Never before had the prospect of taking lands appealed to him. Yet to protect and provide for Ariel, he was willing to abide by Will’s wishes.
Why was he so devoted to a woman he’d just met?
A maid who’d become his wife.
Why did he feel a need to protect a woman who should be his enemy? He’d conquered her people and had hated every part of this hellhole country.
Yet for her, he was willing to offer her a protection that he’d only ever extended to one other.
A boy who’d been abused like him.
Maybe it was the cruelty of her brother. The fact that he knew what would befall her if he left her to her own means.
With his lands and blood alliance to William, she’d never again be homeless. Never know the fear of hunger or cold.
That would extend to whatever seed he might have planted within her.
Should Valteri fall in battle, William would make sure that she’d have her choosing of any lord who met her fancy, as she’d be among the richest widows in Christendom. He could secure a promise from his brother that Ariel would have her choice and that neither her brother nor his would ever override her pick of spouse.
Aye, that would be the best for all of them.
Ignoring the part of him that screamed out he should hold on to her with everything he had, Valteri wheeled his horse about. “If there were bandits stealing from the crofters, ’twould appear they’ve fled.”
As expected, none of his men replied.
“Let us return.”
At least that finally restored their glee. They were as eager to part with his company as he was with theirs.
Valteri kicked his horse toward the hall.
As he raced, a sudden dread filled him. He couldn’t wait to be with his wife, and that feeling made him sick to his stomach.
I must never touch her again.
No matter how much she tempted him. If they were lucky enough that she had yet to conceive, he couldn’t tempt any more ill fate.
Gah, I’m afraid of a tiny maid.…
He shook his head at the irony. He’d stood in battle against the best England had to offer without flinching. No scratch had ever marred him.
Now a simple Saxon maid had brought him to his knees. Made him afraid to even return home.
You have to leave her. You know that.
Men only respected warriors, and only as a feared warrior could he keep their lying, gossiping tongues still. With his absence, Ariel’s goodness would win over the people.
In time, they’d forget and forgive her ill-begotten marriage. Provided they didn’t have to look at his cursed form day in and day out.
No matter what, he must leave Ravenswood. In spite of how much his soul argued against it, he knew it was the only choice he had.
The only real hope Ariel had.
One word against his lady, and he’d gladly take the fool’s tongue for it.
If he stayed, it would only be a matter of time before he was forced to murder someone.
Don’t be stupid.…
By the time he returned, Valteri had convinced himself he’d be far better off without Ariel. Setting his mind on the actions he must take, he rode into the bailey.
Children danced about in a frenzied haste, kicking up their feet and more dust than a herd of uncontrolled stallions. Laughter rang out as well as cheers and songs.
What was this?
They hadn’t played in the yard since he’d come here with his army.
Valteri pulled his horse to a stop. Amazed by the sight, he stared at them in disbelief. Not since they’d landed in England had he heard the merriment of children.
Only their screams and curses.
Their prayers for the death of him and his Norman brethren.
Suddenly, the group of dancers broke apart and out of their center Ariel rose to her feet with one child held on her hip, clutching at her braid. His heart stopped. Never in all his life had he beheld a woman more beautiful, more stunning. The sunlight laced through her hair like finely woven gold. Splotches of pink darkened her cheeks, and she smiled the very smile that must make every angel in heaven weep with envy.
His body hardened to the point of pain. He struggled to breathe against the sensation. Once more he reminded himself why a life with her could never be. Why he must never go to her for comfort or release.
But damn it, he really didn’t want to listen to reason right now.
She set the child aside and they joined hands with the others and circled round in a dance. Her voice rang out above the others, more enchanting than any he’d heard before. “If ever a man deserves salvation, because of a grievous separation. Thee shall rightly be that man. For never a turtle in the loss of her companion was at any time more cast down than thee.”
Ariel smiled at the child to her right and drew a deep breath before continuing her song. “Everyone mourns for his land and country when he parts from friends of his heart, but there is no farewell, whatever anyone may say, so miserable as that of a lover and his sweetheart.”
Her sweet soprano melody and words echoed around him, taunting him, consoling him, whispering to his blackened soul, to his craven heart. Savoring each fragile tone, he closed his eyes.
Aye, she was a woman to make any man proud. So why must he, her husband, turn her away?
Because she could never truly be his.
“Fate, you cruel bastard!” he snarled under his breath as he dismounted.
His belly roiling with heated anger, he tossed his reins to a waiting groom.
Pulling off his gloves and helm, he started toward the hall.
“Valteri!”
He closed his eyes in an effort to banish the joy her voice brought. He didn’t want to hear his name on her sweet lips. It served no other purpose than to weaken his resolve.
She ran and grabbed him by the arm, her eyes shining with happiness.
Valteri stared at her, his heart pounding, his body leaping to life.
She was his.
And he knew he could never really have her.
Damn him for it!
Because at this moment, nothing would please him more than to pin her against the nearest wall of the closest darkened alcove and have his way with her.
To let her sweet, delicate hands chase away every hated part of his past until there was nothing left but the two of them.
“Come, milord, you must join us!”
He frowned. “Join you?”
“Aye!” she said with a laugh, pulling him by the arm toward the children.
Valteri shook his head, horror filling him. “Nay, milady. I cannot. I’ll frighten them.”
She hesitated for only a moment before taking his gloves and placing them inside his helm, which she set on the ground. “Pash! Frighten them indeed.”
Leading him by the hand, she laughed and stopped before the children. “We have another dancer.”
Was she insane?
The horror of his past assailed him. No one ever allowed him to play with children. Not even when he’d been one.
Mothers had snatched them up or aside and spat at him the moment they saw his eyes.
Valteri glanced around at the faces and noted their immediate fear and reservation. “Ariel, please.”
A sharp frown drew her brows together as she noted their reactions as well. She released him and put her hands on her hips. She cast each of them a chiding grimace. “Don’t tell me all of you are afraid?”
No one spoke, but he could tell by the terror in their eyes that each and every one of them would rather face Lucifer, himself, than touch him. Valteri started to move away, but a small girl stepped forward.
“I’m not afraid.” She smiled up at him. “If milady says not to be afraid, then I have no fear.”
Before he could move, the little girl reached out and grasped his thumb with her tiny hand. Her touch was as light as a breath of air, yet it sent a wave of pain crashing through him that nearly toppled him.
Valteri stared at her elfin face and the shining dark locks that surrounded her rose-hued cheeks.
“Come, Lord Doubt.” Ariel took his other hand. “We have a dance!”
Still unsure of himself, Valteri allowed them to lead him in their game. He felt like the greatest of all fools as he stumbled through the steps. Never in his life had he danced, and the intricate moves escaped his clumsy feet.
Ariel laughed, then broke from the circle. Taking him by the hands, she leaned back and twirled about with him.
Valteri stared in awe as the rest of the world spiraled in a dizzying blur around them. Only her beautiful face and the joy of her smile was in focus.
And it enchanted him more than he wanted to admit.
Mesmerized by her, he struggled to breathe. Instinctively, he pulled her toward him.
She stumbled in her dance steps and lurched forward with a gasp.
Valteri grabbed her before she fell, but his effort to save her unbalanced him as well. Entwined, they tumbled to the ground.
Her laughter, joined by the children’s, rang in his ears. Ariel lay upon his chest. Her hair that had come free of its braid spilled across his face like a bounty of satin.
He inhaled the warm, sweet scent. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself for a moment to pretend they could have a lifetime of moments like this. That he could look forward to years of such enjoyment and laughter.
She squirmed on top of him until she sat by his side, looking down. Her eyes sparkled like the finest sapphires to ever grace the earth. His body hardened even more.
At this rate, his lust might very well kill him.
But he’d shamed her once with his hated carnal desires. He refused to do so again.
She reeled her hair in and smiled the very smile that melted his wretched heart. “My thanks, Valteri. The ground appears far too solid, and I’m most grateful not to learn for myself what bruises it yields.”
And before he could move, she leaned forward and kissed his lips. Though it was chaste and brief, it set a thousand flames flickering in his belly. His desire trampling his reason, Valteri pushed himself up and captured her in his arms then pulled her back for another, more satisfying kiss.
She gasped, then surrendered herself to him as the children made sounds of their displeasure.
“He’s kissing her! Bleh!”
“Why grown-ups have to do that?”
“It’s so gross!”
Ignoring them, Valteri drank of her warm, sweet lips that tasted finer than all the wines of Normandy. Nothing would give him greater pleasure than to spend eternity in her arms.
Finally, he felt a light tugging on his surcoat. “Milord, milady, the friar comes,” the little girl said, before erupting into giggles.
Ariel pulled away, her cheeks a delectable shade of pink. She gave him a shy smile as she stared at him, her eyes filled with warmth and love.
He’d never thought to receive such a look.
“Lord Valteri?”
That unfamiliar voice pulled him away from his desire to embarrass them both.
Blinking in an effort to divert his thoughts, Valteri pushed himself to his feet. He held a hand out for Ariel and assisted her before he turned to face the friar.
The moment he saw the shriveled little man with his tonsure and brown robes, he had to force his lip not to curl. But nothing could stop the flood of hatred that flowed through him.
He’d spent too many years with so-called brothers of God, who used their title to further their own corrupt ends. Even though he tried, he just couldn’t muster any kindness toward any of them.
If not for his people and their beliefs, he’d banish all such creatures from his lands.
With that thought, he forced himself to be civil and not run the friar through. “Brother Edred, I presume.”
No doubt this was the same cowardly friar who, upon the arrival of Valteri’s army, had run from his hut.
Instead of helping the people who depended on him, he’d made sure to protect his own ass.
They always did.
The little man smiled as he drew closer. “Aye. I’ve come as you…” His voice broke off as he looked up and met Valteri’s gaze.
The look of terror was one Valteri had become more than accustomed to.
“Holy Mother of God!” Edred clutched at the wooden cross about his neck. “’Tis true, Normans are the sons of Lucifer!”
Fighting back the urge to slap that look off the monk’s face, Valteri retrieved his helm and gloves from the ground. He approached the friar. “If we are the devil’s own, then I’d wager that the Saxons are his whore. After all, ’twas your faithless King Harold who took holy vows to support my brother. And no sooner had Edward died than your Harold seized the throne with more lies and treachery.” He raked the friar with a glare. “We are here under papal authority and with my brother, Bishop Odo, leading part of our army. So ’twould seem we represent your God, not your Satan, and that He, Himself, endorses our endeavors.”
Ignoring the man’s gaping, indignant stare, Valteri headed for the hall. So much for his useless daydreams of acceptance. The people of Ravenswood would always demand the presence of clergy, and as long as clergy remained, so, too, would rumors of his birth.
Damn Will for dragging him into this.
Valteri swung open the door with such force that it bounced off the far wall. His fury simmered deep in his gullet.
Even now, he could feel the sting of the brand as it sizzled against his skull, hear the words of Brother Jerome echoing around him. A child no older than five, he’d screamed and cried for them to stop. Had fought against the chains holding him until he had permanently scarred his wrists.
Over and over, he’d stated his innocence.
Over and over, they’d condemned him, taking pleasure in the pain they’d heaped on an innocent child.
So be it.
He’d much rather be associated with the devil than a god who could allow such misery to be given in His name. At least the devil was honest about his treachery. He didn’t hide behind so-called works of charity that masked horrors far worse than any hell.
And yet all he had to do was look at Ariel and he could almost believe in God. Her goodness and beauty had to come from some truly divine source.
Valteri gripped his helm in his hand, and struggled against the urge to throw it into the wall. He must calm himself. The past was just that, the past. The future was all that mattered now.
What future?
Valteri paused, all his fury wilting beneath a bitter, stinging wave of regret and despair. He knew he couldn’t stay and pretend the past had never happened, that people would leave him and Ariel in peace.
Sooner or later, they’d all turn on him.
His only hope would be to take her away and live in isolation. To give up everything he’d ever known.
Ever fought for.
He closed his eyes, trying to imagine her on a farm, her back bowed by years of hard work, her gentle hands scarred and chafed.
Nay, he could no more subject her to that kind of life than he could end his own misery. She was a noble lady and she deserved all the privileges and wealth that title granted her.
Sighing in regret, he knew what must be done. Once William released him from his vows, he would seek another war.