Chapter 24

I was still dreaming of a different future, but trapped in the present even more so with Monika’s disappearance. In my distress, I had gone from the cardboard to Richard’s apartment.

“You’re not responsible for all the missing persons in London,” Richard said.

“But Monika is different. Like family in a way.” Her disappearance was driving me frantic with worry. My whole life and few possessions were in Richard’s flat, except for the pebble. I carried that everywhere in my pocket. I already had a considerable collection of my favourite CD classics and a few books on music. Sometimes I felt it was strange that my music had been amongst my treasured possessions.

In amongst the books I had my one favourite picture taken at my graduation, of my mother, father and Helen. If I looked at the picture they all came to life and Helen moved a little towards me to hold my hand. She was warm and loving then and I could not have imagined the tragedy which would envelop me within four years of this happy day. In the picture mother was reaching over to fix my gown and father stood tall and proud without moving a muscle. I still had not got the courage to put the photo on top of the shelf.

It was after midnight when I left Richard’s. I stood by the river looking up at the Eye. My head ached and I really did not feel well. I had been trying to look out for Monika and had failed her. Perhaps there was some explanation about her disappearance but the knock on my head had been real. I was still lightheaded.

“Are you alright?” Sr. Gabriel asked when I reached the dining room the next morning.

“Thank you,” I said but I just sat there quietly in my favourite corner and made my way quietly up the narrow steps and back onto the street.

That evening I started to walk along the riverside. The Eye was moving slowly, its huge bulk standing out ominously against the night sky. Lifeless and all-seeing. I stood on the embankment. My heart was pounding as I stood cradling Monika’s phone in my hand.

I dialled and finally reached Sara. “Any news,” I asked.

“No nothing. I was just going to phone you to ask you the same question.”

She didn’t know anything and was as alarmed as I was. We agreed to meet again at her place in Rotherhithe.

“Let’s think of all the possibilities,” I said. “There was violence in the way I had been manhandled. This was by someone who was capable of anything.”

Maybe she knew more than she was saying but I didn’t think so. There was something trusting about her. For one thing she had allowed me to visit her in her own home.

She hesitated for a long time. “The last day I saw her was the night before she disappeared,” Sara said.

“What did she way?”

“Nothing unusual.”

“Any indication that she had plans to more out?” I asked.

“No, she would have told me. I was the only friend she had.”

That night I continued to search for Monika but I had become more and more concerned. The traffic accelerated after the traffic lights. It was a freezing cold night. I zipped up my anorak and pulled the collar up over my ears. I kept running to warm myself searching every nook and cranny.