Several months have passed, and we’re closing in on Thanksgiving, and Christmas will be just around the corner. Life has been blissfully calm. Dad’s started managing the club for Leo and seems to be loving it. When Leo first asked, Dad put up a bit of a fuss. He thought Leo was doing it out of pity for an old man.
Leo took Dad outside for a walk, and half an hour later, plans were set in motion. There’s been more of a skip in Dad’s step since then, and I’m relieved. No matter what I was trying, nothing was helping Dad to get out of his funk.
Apart from this crappy flu bug that I can’t seem to shake, all has been pretty wonderful. Leo’s stayed home for two days to look after me, and I finally convinced him to go to work today. He only agreed when Anna said she would drop by to check on me.
After Anna insisted on making us a cup of chamomile tea to settle my stomach, we sit on the sofa to catch up.
“Maybe Leo’s right. You should see a doctor,” Anna says after I struggle with another wave of nausea.
“I know. I know. I really thought I would be over it by now. It’s been almost a week,” I tell her, dropping my head back onto the throw pillow in the corner.
“Maybe I should ask Reno to get our doctor to come here.”
“If my stomach would just stop roiling for a while, I could take myself in,” I tell her. My stomach doesn’t stop, and within moments, I’m rushing to the toilet and heaving up the tea I drank. I can’t seem to keep anything down. My belly is empty again.
Anna is on the floor next to me, wiping my face with a warm towel, her phone in the other hand as she tells Reno to send the doctor now. After she helps me back upstairs, I drift off to sleep until the doctor arrives.
While checking me over, he asks, “Any muscle aches?”
“Not really.”
“Fever?”
“No.”
“Just the vomiting and nausea?”
“My breasts are sensitive,” I reply.
“Lucia, you’re a nurse. Have you not considered you may be pregnant?” The doctor looks at me with a gentle grin.
“Oh my God! How can I have missed that?” I quickly do the math on my last cycle and look up at the doctor. “I missed my last period.”
“Before we go any further, let’s make sure you’re pregnant,” he says and takes a blood sample. “If you are, we need to deal with the nausea. You need to stay hydrated. If it’s something else”—he lifts the vial—“this will tell me.”
It sounds like a herd of elephants running up the steps, with Anna calling after them, “The doctor’s in there. Leo, slow down. She’s fine.”
“I’ll decide if she’s fine.” I hear his gruff tone, and before I can warn the doctor to keep quiet, Leo pushes through the bedroom door.
He looks down at the vial of blood in the doctor’s hand. “What’s that for?” he asks loudly. “What’s going on?”
“Relax, Mr. Conte. I’m going to run a few tests and should have an answer in an hour.” The doctor turns to me. “Either way, Lucia, I will be back. You cannot get dehydrated, and we need you to be able to keep something down. Dry crackers seem to help. Try those.”
“What are we dealing with?” Leo asks.
“With any luck, it’ll be a reason to celebrate,” the doctor says, but Leo looks like he’s going to pass out, going ashen.
The doctor leaves, and Leo drops to sit by my side. “Leo,” I call his name quietly. His eyes gaze into mine. “Are you all right?”
“Fine,” he replies, but I don’t believe him. “Celebrate what?” His voice is hoarse and low.
“It’s not for sure. But I may be pregnant,” I tell him. Leo doesn’t say a word, just nods. Then suddenly, he snaps out of it.
“No matter what, we’ll deal with it,” he says. He stands abruptly. “I’m going to get you some Gatorade. You need to drink.”
He leaves before I can say anything else. I wait for him to leave before tears spring to my eyes, and I sob into the pillow, not wanting Leo to hear me. I’ve dreamt of being a mother. We’ve talked about this, and he was so excited about a baby. I don’t understand what’s happening.
Leo
I ask Anna to take the bottle up to Lucia. Instead of returning to Lucia’s side, I go into my office and pour myself a drink, dropping into my chair behind my desk. I can’t seem to get a grip. Lucia will make an amazing mother. There’s nothing to worry about on that end. Despite all the times I’ve imagined her round with our child, I never realized how hard the reality of it would hit me when it finally happened. Me, a father?
There’s a knock on the door, and even before I respond, Giuseppe comes waltzing into my office. He sees my expression and takes the seat opposite me.
“I know that look,” he says. I tilt my head and jut out my chin to acknowledge his words. “It’s fear.” I still say nothing. “Do you want to know how I know?”
“How?” I ask roughly, not denying it.
“It’s exactly how I felt when Natalina told me she might be pregnant. I thought, Christ, I have no right to be a father.” My eyes widen at what he’s telling me. He’s an amazing dad. “That’s right,” he says, “Lucia wouldn’t be here if it were up to me. I thought, what right do I have to be a father. My father was an asshole. He believed in making a boy a man before he could walk. I hated him and never wanted to be like him. And look at the perils of our world. I was terrified of how I might fail to protect this child from all the dangers Nostra Casa faces. Jesus, I had Reno’s father to lead us, and he was a ticking time bomb. But, do you know what scared me the most?”
Shaking my head, I ask, “No. What?”
“My wife was slowly dying of cancer. I didn’t want her to be pregnant and have this baby take her from me. If she died, I was afraid I would resent the baby,” he says and stands, walking across the room to the fireplace. “Lucia wouldn’t be here if the decision was mine. I wanted to be selfish and keep Natalina safe without considering how much it meant for her to be a mother.”
“It’s not the same,” I say, sighing heavily.
“You can tell me, figlio mio. I swear to you, it will go no further than this room.”
I join him in front of the fireplace and release the frustration building inside me. “Look at me. The son of a drug-addicted punk. My mother was a whore and a drug addict. She left me, uncaring of what happened to me.”
“So what?”
“What if I become like them?”
“You won’t,” he says quietly.
“How do you know?” I don’t even recognize my own anguished voice.
“Because you’re worrying about it. Your parents cared only about themselves. They never questioned themselves. You’re asking yourself the hard questions, and that’s what good parents do.”
“I don’t know how to give a baby a normal family,” I tell him, dropping into a chair beside him, holding my head in my hands.
“Normal? What the fuck is normal anymore?” Giuseppe laughs. “We’re in the Mafia. That’s not normal. Reno’s father tried to murder him. That’s not normal. Sebastian and Dante were abandoned. That’s not normal. There is no normal!”
“A child needs a family.”
“They’ll have a family. A mother who will love them with all that she is. A father to protect them with his last breath. A grandfather that will indulge them. And three uncles who will love your child like it was their own.” I raise my head, and he says, “You know this is the truth.”
“Yeah.” I do, I truly do.
“Family isn’t about the blood we share. You know that better than anyone. Let me tell you why I thought you were the perfect man for my daughter, my treasure. I knew that Lucia would have not only one man protecting her, but four. Every brother you have would make her a priority. When I’m gone from this earth, she’ll have you and your family.” Giuseppe rests a hand on my shoulder.
“You call me your son.” I’ve never brought it up, but I want to know why.
“Because you are. My daughter by blood and love, my son by choice. I don’t say what I don’t mean, Leo. You of all people know this about me.”
“I wish I’d had a father like you,” I tell him honestly.
I can see a lump forming in his throat as he swallows. He clears it gruffly. “You do now.” Then adds, “It’s time for you to go see to your wife. If she’s anything like her mother, she read your expression and is in tears.”
I take Giuseppe’s advice and take the stairs two at a time, opening the door to see Lucia wiping her eyes, swollen and red from crying. I move in beside her in bed, taking her in my arms.
“I’m so sorry, stellina. This is all on me,” I whisper as I kiss the top of her head.
“You said you wanted a baby.” Her wet eyes gaze up at me.
“I did and I do. You know I didn’t come from a good family, baby. A pang of uncertainty ran through me, but a wise man helped me work that out.” I brush my lips over hers.
“Wise man?”
“Your dad.” I chuckle, and she joins in with her sweet laugh. My cell phone goes off, and I see it’s the doctor. “You ready?” I ask as I show her the name.
“Hello, Mr. Conte. Is Lucia with you?” he asks.
“We’re both here, and you’re on speaker.”
“Then let me be the first to offer my congratulations to the new parents-to-be,” he says jovially. Lucia lets out a little squeal of delight. “We still have to address the issue of keeping down food. I have a prescription ready for you. I can have someone bring it over if you like. Have a great day.”
After he rings off, I cup Lucia’s cheeks with my palms. “You are going to be a wonderful mother, of that I have no doubt. You’re going to need to be patient, stellina. I have no memory to draw from when it comes to being a loving father.”
“You’re my everything. This baby is the luckiest little person ever to have you in their life.”
I kiss her softly. “We need to tell your father,” I remind her.
“In a minute,” she replies, and turns our soft kisses into a passionate, sensual lip-lock.
Later that evening, Giuseppe, Lucia, and I are relishing our little secret.
“Are you hoping for a boy, Leo? Someone to follow in your footsteps?” Giuseppe asks.
“I’m good with either. A pretty little girl with Lucia’s eyes would be perfect as far as I’m concerned.” I look down on my wife as she gazes up at me while nestled in beside me on our couch, in the living room.
“I want the baby to look like you,” she says decisively.
“Well, I have decided on an important matter.” I give them both my mischievous grin.
“What’s that?” Lucia asks.
“If it’s a boy, his name will be Joseph Moreno.” Giuseppe’s eyes soften. He understands this is a tribute to him, Joseph being the American version of Giuseppe. He clears his throat and takes a minute before finding his voice.
“Thank you. I’m not sure I deserve such an honor,” he says modestly.
“If it’s a girl, I decide?” Lucia says, raising her brows.
“Nope.” I shake my head.
“What? Why not? You picked the boy’s name. It’s only fair,” she starts to argue.
“I’m sorry, stellina, I’ve already chosen the perfect girl’s name,” I tease.
“Oh, really! Well, lord and master, do I get to hear it?” Lucia crosses her arms over her chest.
“Natalina Lucia. I can’t imagine a more ideal name.” Her arms unfold, and she wraps them around my neck. Her lips find mine in a sweet kiss.
“If it’s a boy we’re calling him Joseph Moreno Leonardo Conte. Because you, my love, are remarkable.”
Lucia
A week later…
I’m so glad that Leo and I talked and got everything out in the open. Although, I don’t think my feet have touched the floor since we found out. Leo is carrying me everywhere I need to go. I finally convinced him that we had the nausea under control.
We arranged to have Reno and Anna, Sebastian and Olivia, and of course Dante over for dinner to give them the good news.
Before we do, Leo pops a bottle of champagne, but fills my glass with ginger ale. Olivia notices my glass immediately and exclaims, “Oh my goodness, you’re pregnant!” Anna and Olivia jump out of their chairs and come to hug me. Reno throws his arm around Leo, and the men huddle off to the side, joking and laughing about watching Leo change diapers.
Leo and I exchange looks from across the room. My man is happy, his smile shining brilliantly and aimed right at me.
Leo
Three Weeks Later…
“I’m so sorry to give you this news, Mr. Conte. Your mother was found this morning in an alley outside a bar. She passed away, sir, of a drug overdose,” the police officer tells me over the phone.
I listen to the officer give me the details of my mother’s death. “I’ll have someone come to retrieve the body,” I tell him. When I hang up the phone, I find Lucia standing in the doorway of my office. She immediately runs to me, tightly wrapping her arms around my waist.
“I’m so sorry, my love.” Her voice is muffled against my chest.
“It was expected, Lucia. I never for a moment thought Martina would get clean. I gave her the opportunity because it meant so much to you.” I hold her close to me.
“We need to make funeral arrangements,” she says softly.
“No one will come.” It’s sad but true. Martina has no friends left after her erratic behavior.
“We’ll have one anyway,” Lucia insists.
I caved for Lucia’s sake. I told her it would be a simple ceremony by the grave site, and as we make our way from my car, Reno and Anna, Sebastian and Olivia, Dante, Nero and Felicia, Luciano and Grazia, and even Alessio Cassini are all standing there, waiting for us. Giuseppe is off to the side and comes to walk the rest of the way with us.
“Family sticks together, figlio mio,” he says.