“Let’s not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around in awareness.”
—James Thurber
I’m aware that my family is changing. It’s been hard for me to watch Christopher, my youngest son, graduate from high school and get ready to go off to college. Yes, I’m super proud of him and happy he’s so excited to be embarking on this next great adventure. But it’s also been bittersweet for me. He’s the youngest of four, so his departure marks the end of an era in my life.
For years, I’ve revolved my own life around the lives of my kids, Katherine, Christina, Patrick, and Christopher. My days have been packed with early morning and afternoon carpool pickup times, homework sessions, sit-down dinners, runs to Staples for school supplies. My calendar has been packed with football games, dance recitals, parent-teacher conferences, birthday parties, basketball. My weekends have been joyful, because my children and their friends have so often congregated at my home to do homework, play games, laugh, and socialize. I’ve loved it all.
As this chapter of my life is winding down, I want to be incredibly present for my youngest child’s final week of school events. Prom, senior class gatherings, goodbyes to all the parents and kids I’ve shared so much with. I don’t want to miss a thing. I want to take it all in. I want to be present, really present, both for my son and for myself.
Being present in the moment requires focus—at least it does for me. I find myself ruminating about the future or the past so often that it takes a conscious effort to make myself mindful of the present, to focus on the now.
As Christopher’s last week of high school unfolded, yes, I was thinking back over how his life has also unfolded—but I promise, I didn’t miss a thing that was going on that week. As I watched him go to his senior prom, I could accept with my own eyes and mind that he’s no longer the baby boy I held in my arms. Now he’s a gorgeous, strapping young man, loved and admired by so many for his heart, his nature, and his amazing character.
So I’ve been present every step of the way. I know I’ll struggle with the emptiness that his leaving will create. I know I’ll cry. But I also know that if I’m super present, the memories I create will endure and comfort me far into the future.
Your conscious presence in your own life is powerful. It’s a gift to be present—a gift for you and for whomever you share your days with.
This has been Christopher’s week. Wish me luck. Oh, and buy stock in Kleenex. I’ve been going through boxes of it.
Dear God, family is so rewarding. Help us to keep our family first above all the demands in our lives and to create an atmosphere where we can grow in our love for one another. Bring us together as you meant for us to be and help us to enjoy one another and understand one another. May joy and laughter and peace fill our times together. Amen.