“Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”
—Barbara De Angelis
Love and kindness are the guiding principles of the type of society I want to live in. I believe kindness is one of the most important qualities we can have. It’s what can lead us out of the screaming and yelling and negativity that characterize our current atmosphere, which is anything but kind.
But lovingkindness is not just a guiding principle, an ideal, and a goal. I believe it should be the leading edge of the way we actually connect with one another.
And I’m not just talking about women! We shouldn’t regard kindness as a positive attribute only of women. It’s an attribute of admirable men, too—strong admirable men. Because it takes great strength—maybe especially if you’re a man—to think enough of yourself to put yourself out there in the world as kind and caring. So many men think that if they’re kind, they just may get walked on or over. But it takes true strength to be sure of yourself and not so terribly worried and fearful that people will think you’re weak or wishy-washy if you’re kind.
All—and I mean all—the truly strong men I have known in my life have been kind. They don’t mistake cruelty or inattention or steeliness as necessary hallmarks of masculinity. They think enough of themselves as men to be kind to others. Kind fathers raise strong daughters, and kind fathers raise strong men who feel good about themselves.
The fact is, things are changing. Being a good father has become an accepted attribute of good men. Today when I go out for a walk, I see men pushing baby carriages. I see them carrying diaper bags, showing up in record numbers at school functions, and showing up in equal numbers at their daughters’ and sons’ games.
I hear men talk about their emotional intelligence. I hear men talking about their children and how they want to be more attuned, more involved, and, yes, kinder.
So I want to shine a light on men who are talking openly and honestly about their experiences as fathers, about what they learned from their own fathers, and about how they’re using what they’ve learned to help others. I want to shine a light on fathers who are leading from a strong place: a place of kindness.
Build me a son, O Lord, whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past. . . . Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the weakness of true strength.
—General Douglas MacArthur