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Between the memory of the torture, the collar leaching her magic, and the gnawing in her stomach, Adelaide felt lightheaded and dizzy, even lying on the ground. A night and most of a day had passed since the sorcerer had left her in the shed. She’d slept poorly. It was impossible to get comfortable, and fear of Kirven and his torture haunted her dreams. She grew weaker with each passing hour. Worse, she reeked, although she could now ignore the scent of urine. So far, she had managed to avoid defecating on herself. But she had begun to worry whether her magic would return when she got the collar off. How she would remove it, she didn’t know, but she would find a way.
At this point, she was even too exhausted to be angry. She had spent part of the morning trying to escape the ropes, or even to stand up and hop her way to the door with the idea of breaking it down. When that proved futile, she had sat with her back against the wall, her rage building, lashing out at everything that had gotten her to this point. At the center of which, in the moment, had seemed to be Regulus. Adelaide finally understood why Mother had been so angry with him.
Regulus had gotten her involved with the sorcerer. Regulus had made an enemy of Nolan Carrick. Regulus was the reason Nolan had found Kirven and was now unstoppable. Regulus had the idea to split up, hadn’t been there to help her when Kirven attacked. But as the pain in her empty stomach increased and the day dragged on, her anger cooled.
Regulus hadn’t wanted to serve Kirven. He hadn’t wanted to take her to Kirven, either. And Adelaide had made an enemy of Nolan, too. She had agreed to splitting up. Maybe the person who deserved the blame for her predicament was herself.
In the end, she decided to blame Kirven. He was behind all this pain. Everything—her years of hiding her magic, Regulus’ pain, her capture, Nolan’s immortality—came back to him. That spark of righteous anger kept her from utter despair. Sooner or later, someone would come, that’s what Kirven said. They’d have to untie her, and she would make her escape. She would find Regulus. And somehow, someway, they would see that Kirven didn’t hurt anyone else.
Adelaide was lying on her back, watching a bat trying to find its way out of the rafters, and wondering what it would be like to fly and if insects tasted any good, when the door to the shed opened. She squirmed to a sitting position and squinted at the influx of evening sunlight and the figure outlined in the doorway.
No. Not him.
“Gracious, Adelaide!” Nolan dashed forward and knelt next to her, brow wrinkled.
“Don’t touch me!” Her voice croaked. Why did he have to come himself? Adelaide wriggled away, her heart racing. He grabbed her shoulders, looking her up and down. She hated the involuntary whimper that caught in her throat. But unlike Kirven’s, Nolan’s touch didn’t hurt.
“Did he hurt you?”
“As if you care.” Her stomach twisted and emitted a strange groaning sound.
“I care. He left you like this?” Nolan sounded surprisingly upset. “Have you eaten?”
“Yes, he left me like this. And how could I have eaten?” She wiggled her fingers by her shoulders.
“Hold on.” Nolan darted out of the shed and returned a moment later with a bag in hand. He pulled Regulus’ dagger from the back of his belt and cut the ropes off her torso. Adelaide groaned as her arms fell to her sides. She would have clawed his eyes out if her cramped muscles had allowed her to move her arms.
He took a wineskin from the bag and offered it to her. “Water?”
She tried to reach for it and moaned. Her muscles prickled everywhere they weren’t numb. Her arms didn’t want to obey.
“Here.” Nolan poured water over her chapped lips. She felt ridiculous, but thirst got the better of her pride and she gulped down the water. He placed the wineskin on the ground and picked up her right arm.
“What are you doing?” She jerked her arm, her eyes widening, but he didn’t let go.
“Relax, love.” He started rubbing her arm from the shoulder down.
She tensed, but eased as feeling returned to her arm. Fine, let him help. It would only restore her strength faster.
“Better?”
Adelaide didn’t want to admit it, but it was. She nodded, and he moved to her other arm.
“Kirven told me your magic is back. I’m happy for you.” He stopped massaging her arm and brushed his fingers over the collar. “You wouldn’t have to wear this if you joined us.”
She shifted away. “You’re not happy for me. You think having a wife with magic will make you more powerful.”
Nolan returned to massaging. “What can I say? I’m attracted to power.” He finished rubbing her arm and kissed her shoulder. She jerked away with a shudder. Nolan sighed and pulled a few pieces of jerky out of his bag. She devoured them, not caring they were dry and tough.
“I like your attire.” He handed the water over, and she begrudgingly accepted. His gaze wandered over her. “Very enticing.”
She threw the open wineskin at him. Water splashed his face, and she smiled with satisfaction at his irritated frown. She lifted her chin, trying to look as dignified as possible. “I need to relieve myself.”
His nose wrinkled. “Pretty sure you already have.”
She blushed and he snickered, making her face heat more. “Laugh when you’ve been left bound in a shed,” she muttered.
“All right, all right.” He picked up a long piece of rope from the ones he had cut off her torso and tied it to the loop in the side of the collar, next to the lock. “I’m not going to let you just run off,” he said in response to her withering look. He cut the ropes off her ankles.
It took Adelaide a couple tries to stand on her aching legs and numb feet, but she managed it with a little assistance from Nolan. He picked up his bag and wineskin and waited outside the door while she relieved herself.
“Done yet?” he called. She scowled as she exited the shed.
A few maple trees were spaced between little groves of ash and birch. A soot-blackened wooden frame of what might have once been a cottage stood several feet away. She sucked in a deep breath of the fresh air, appreciating anew the warmth of the sun and the coolness of the evening air on her skin.
Nolan gave her a once-over. “Come on. You need to clean up.” He strode off, the rope attached to the collar leading her after him. “There’s a stream down here.”
“Fine,” she said through gritted teeth. However, she was thankful for the opportunity to rinse off her clothes.
Nolan stood on the bank next to her boots while she sat in the shallow stream and attempted to wash off some of the smell. He leered. “This might be easier if you took your clothes off.”
Heat covered her head from scalp to collarbones. She turned away and scrubbed more furiously at her fitted trousers. He just laughed.
“I’m going to kill you.” The words spilled out before she thought better of it.
He stopped laughing. “First, that’s a rude thing to say to your knightly rescuer and future husband. Second, you must have missed the part where I can’t die.”
She glared over her shoulder. “I’ll try cutting your head off. I’d like to see Kirven heal that.”
His lips pursed. “We really need to work on your attitude. Plotting to kill your betrothed is frowned upon.”
“We are not betrothed.”
“Yes, we are. You agreed, remember? Besides, if we’re not, why am I sticking my neck out for you?”
She stood with her back to him and squeezed excess water out of the skirt of her suede tunic and tried to press water out of her trousers. “What are you talking about?”
“Prince Kirven would have killed you if not for me. You’re welcome.” He paused, as if waiting for a thank you, but he was not about to get one. “But His Highness isn’t interested in threats to his power. I told him I can control you, but if you misbehave, he won’t hesitate to kill you. And that’s not what I want.”
Adelaide turned, water dripping from her trousers. “Don’t pretend this is you being self-sacrificial.”
“I can protect you easier if you marry me.”
“I don’t need or want your protection!”
“Really?” He lifted his brows. “If that’s true, why were you bound on the floor of an abandoned shed?” He pulled on the rope. The collar pressed against the back of her neck and she stumbled out of the stream toward him. “If you didn’t need my protection, you wouldn’t have a magic-suppressing collar around your neck.” He drew her in until she was standing in front of him. She stared down at the grass poking up between her toes.
“Look at me, Adelaide,” he pleaded. She clenched her jaw, annoyed at his constant playacting. “Please.” With a huff, she looked at him. “Stop fighting Kirven and marry me, and I can and will give you anything and everything you can possibly desire. You won’t have to wear this collar. You can use your magic. You want tutors in magic? I’ll send to every kingdom to find the best ones. You want silks? I’ll order dresses in every color in any style you choose. You want exotic fruit? I’ll send to the edges of the known world for them. You want to travel? I’ll take you anywhere. You want to meet your mother’s family? I’ll find them for you. What do you want, Adelaide? I’ll make sure you have it.” He looked at her, his eyes gentle, begging. His love-sick puppy act sickened her. “Just love me.”
She crossed her arms. “I want this collar off.”
“Once we’re married. After you’ve sworn your loyalty to me in front of witnesses.”
“Now.”
Nolan sighed. “I try to be your knight in shining armor, and you act like I’m the dragon. You’ll see. I can be cruel, I know, but only when necessary. I won’t be denied or disrespected. But I can be kind.” His blue eyes shone with affection that caught her off-guard. “I can be the man you deserve, Adelaide. The man you need.” He rubbed the back of his fingers down her arm in a soft caress.
She shivered, and not just from the cold of her wet clothes.
“I will give you all the riches of the world. I will fill you with ecstasy and live for your pleasure, if you let me.”
He ran his thumb over her cheekbone. Adelaide swallowed back the bile pushing against her throat and turned her head away. She stepped back, but the collar dug into her neck, keeping her close to him.
“Stop fighting me.” Nolan’s voice dropped to a seductive murmur. “We could be unstoppable. We could do anything. Let me in, Adelaide.” For a moment, the tenderness of his tone took her aback. Gentle longing filled his eyes. His ability to lie, to play a part, astounded her. No wonder he had seduced so many. Only because she denied him did she have the displeasure of seeing his true nature.
“Untie the rope at least. Please.” She tried to look harmless and innocent as he regarded her, lips pursed.
He shook his head. “You’re not ready yet.”
“I’m not going to marry you!” Adelaide grabbed the rope and turned to run. Nolan’s grip was too strong, even with her sudden movement. She released the rope and stood erect with her back to him.
“I am your destiny, one way or another.” His voice hardened as he grabbed her elbow, his fingers digging in around the joint, and wrenched her back around. She bit her tongue to keep from crying out. “You can sit in splendor at my right hand, or you can kneel at my feet. The choice is yours. But either way, you will be mine.”
Nolan lifted her chin, placed his other hand on her back, and pressed his lips to hers. Her skin itched with disgust as she stood momentarily frozen. He kissed her softly, then more forcefully when she tried to pull away. She pushed against his chest, but he locked his arms around her. His hand on the back of her head held her in place. She squirmed and thrashed, her arms pinned between their bodies, trying to break away. Her lips hurt from trying to deny the press of his mouth. His lips left hers and she gasped in a deep breath. He brushed a kiss against her jaw.
“Be mine, Adelaide.” He kissed the side of her neck above the collar.
“Stop,” she rasped. She shook as she pushed against him. She couldn’t breathe.
Nolan lifted his head. His eyes glinted with hunger. “Why don’t you want me? How can I be driven mad with the thought of you, and you won’t spare a glance my way?” He kissed her shoulder, ignoring her struggling. “You fill my dreams; your smile steals away my concentration. I see you when I close my eyes, and it’s not fair.”
His mouth hovered above hers. With his hand still holding the back of her head like a vise, Adelaide couldn’t turn away. Her heart pounded against her chest and she pressed her eyes and mouth closed.
“You’ve gotten under my skin,” he murmured. “Some half-Khastallander girl with skin the color of dark amber, the product of an alliance between a lord rich with the spoils of war and a merchant’s daughter. You aren’t topping any list of most wanted maidens.”
How flattering. She pushed her head back against his hand to no avail.
“You were just the answer to my marriage predicament, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I desire you with every fiber of my being, with every bone in my body.” He gave her a quick peck on her closed lips, then pulled back. She risked opening her eyes.
Nolan watched her, his eyebrows pinched. “Does no part of you desire me?”
Adelaide clenched her jaw. “No.”
She sent a burst of magical energy out of her palms and into his chest. It was tiny for how much effort it took, but he stumbled back, his arms slipping and allowing a small space between them. She sent another shockwave and he let go as he staggered backward. Dark spots danced in her eyes, and she shook her head, trying to clear away the dizziness. She swayed and leaned forward, supporting herself on her knees.
Nolan straightened, face flushed and eyes dark. “I’m tired of you!” He pulled on the rope and she fell to her knees on the grass. “I’m tired of you fighting me! I’m tired of you choosing that scarred bastard mercenary over me! I’m tired of losing to that stuck-up mongrel nobody who doesn’t deserve his title or castle and certainly doesn’t deserve you. I’m tired of wanting you and being denied. I’m tired of you acting like I’m some cruel monster.”
“Then stop behaving like one!” She sounded braver than she felt. Those small uses of her power had drained her, and she didn’t have much energy left to so much as stand, let alone fight. That scared her, because she didn’t know what Nolan would do next. Etiros, protect me.
“You think me cruel?” He strode toward her. Adelaide tried to crawl backward, but he drew in the rope, stopping her. “So be it. If that’s what you want, I can show you cruelty.” He backhanded her face, making her cheek sting and throb. “I can be your monster.”
“Nolan, please...” In spite of herself, a sob tore from her throat and tears squeezed out of her eyes.
He knelt in front of her, his expression softening. “It doesn’t have to be like this.” He wiped a tear off her cheek with his thumb. “Stop fighting me.” He grabbed her waist and pulled her closer.
The truth sank into Adelaide’s chest like a rock. She couldn’t fight him. Not right now. Not for long, anyway. She wanted to be strong, but she was exhausted. The collar drained her, leaving her weak. Weak, tired, and scared. She hadn’t recovered from Kirven’s torture yet. Nolan’s strength dwarfed hers, and even if she wounded him, he would heal. This wasn’t a fight she could win.
She wanted Mother. She wanted to be a little girl again, watching with fascination as Mother sewed a new dress for her in a Khastallander style and told her Khastallander fables. Back before she knew the extent of the world’s cruelty. When she climbed too high in the trees and cried and Mother crossed her arms and said if her brave little tigress, her shiraa, could get up, she could get down.
Nolan’s hand gripped her thigh as he forced her onto his lap. As numbness settled into her chest, she didn’t feel like a tigress. She didn’t feel brave. Mother had raised her to defend herself, and she couldn’t. Give me courage, she prayed. Give me strength. Protect me. Her mind raced, searching for a way to stop him. Suddenly, she remembered Regulus’ dagger, stuck in the back of Nolan’s belt. She needed to stall him. To distract him long enough to get ahold of the dagger. His hands roamed as he leaned toward her.
“Nolan.” Her voice came out in a croak. She cleared her throat. “Nolan, I...I’ll marry you.” He froze. “I just need—more time.” She gulped against the lump in her throat. “I’ll marry you.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I’ve heard that before.”
“Please.” She blinked back a few stray tears and edged her hand toward his waist. “You’re right. I’m not ready. But I won’t... I won’t fight you. On, on our,” she exhaled slowly to steady her voice, even as the words killed a part of her soul, “on our wedding night. If you wait.” She met his eyes. “Please.” Please don’t let him notice, she prayed as her hand hovered near the back of his belt.
His eyes narrowed. “What about after our wedding night?”
“I’ll...” She licked her dry lips. She would have to lean toward him to reach the dagger. “I’ll be a dutiful...affectionate wife.” Cold clawed at her insides.
A slow, self-assured smile pulled at the corner of Nolan’s lips. “Swear it.”
“I promise.” Adelaide leaned forward as she reached around behind him. Her fingers brushed the hilt of the dagger. With a quick pull, she freed it from his belt and slashed toward the rope, her heart pounding. Nolan caught her wrist, stopping her before the blade met the rope. She looked from the dagger to his eyes, her moment of bravery spent. He watched her with eerie calm, his mouth drawn into a hard line. His hand clutched her wrist so hard she feared her bones would snap.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, his silence more unnerving than shouting. “I...I panicked. I’m sorry.”
He pulled her hand away and she dropped the dagger, hoping he wouldn’t break her wrist again. “Why, Adelaide? Why don’t you want me? Why do you continue to fight me?”
She shook her head, too tense to say anything. Nolan pushed her back onto the ground with force that hurt her shoulders. He grabbed the dagger and stood, still holding the rope. The sun had nearly set; dusk gathered around them. The first stars stared down from the darkening sky; cold, distant, and uncaring.
Nolan turned the dagger over in his hand. “I’m of two minds, Adelaide. Part of me wants to keep trying to be your knight, to show you I can be compassionate. To give you time to accept the inevitable.” He crouched and put the edge of the dagger to her throat, right above the collar. “The other part of me is done trying to win you over.”
You were trying? She tried to move her neck away from the blade, but his hand followed her. She lost her balance and fell back, propped up on her elbows. He crawled over her, the knife still pressed to her throat. The metal rested there, one faulty move away from opening a wound that, in her weakened state, she wouldn’t be able to heal. Her stomach twisted, threatening to push up the jerky.
“Nolan, please...”
“Do you have any idea how frustrating you are?” He released the rope to trace the top edge of her tunic. His fingers stopped at the ties of the bodice.
Adelaide curled her fists, her nails digging into her palms. Her breaths came in rapid, shallow gasps. Stop, please, make him stop. “I’m sor—”
“You’re maddening. I’ve had ladies throw themselves at me. I’ve had women beg me not to stop.” He tilted his head. “But the problem isn’t me, or even you. You want me, you just don’t realize it yet.” He leaned back, returned the dagger to his belt, and picked the rope back up.
Every muscle in her body was taut as a drawn bow as she watched him, hope a weak spark in her shuddering chest.
“When Hargreaves is dead, when he’s no longer confusing you, you’ll finally see me. When I’m the only thing between you and Kirven’s wrath, you’ll realize how generous I’ve been. You’ll come crawling. You’ll beg me to take you. And when you do...” Nolan leered and leaned closer, his voice teasing. He ran his fingertips down her spine, and she shivered. “You’ll wish you had given in sooner.”
Not likely. Adelaide bit back the retort, careful not to stir his anger again. She fought to keep her expression blank and not betray her disgust and terror. He seemed to have decided to stop, at least for the moment, and she wouldn’t risk antagonizing him into changing his mind.
