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Something slammed into Regulus’ ribs, jolting him awake. He reached for his sword as the shapes in the shabby inn room clarified in the dark. The beds where Alfred and Drez were sound asleep, the hole-ridden curtain over the discolored glass window, and the table and two chairs beneath it. Satisfied it was just Adelaide’s elbow that had awoken him, he set the sword back down on the rough wooden floorboards.
The old inn wasn’t pretty, and the flat, straw-stuffed mattresses stank of body odor. The thin wool blankets itched. But it was indoors and boasted one of the cleanest taverns Regulus had seen. Rain had started shortly before they arrived at the royal town of Crelburgh at dusk, and they had arrived exhausted. Anything was better than sleeping in the rain.
Adelaide shifted beside him. “Won’t.” He squinted at her in the feeble light. She curled into a ball, her eyes squeezed shut. “No.” She tossed over on her back and kicked his knee.
“Ad?”
“Please,” she whimpered, her eyes still closed.
Oh. A deep heaviness settled into his chest. He gently shook her shoulder. “Wake up. Come on, wake up.”
“Leave him alone,” Adelaide mumbled. Her terror tickled his mind as he touched the bare skin of her arms.
Regulus sighed and closed his eyes, trying not to panic. Instead, his panic increased when her nightmare leapt into his mind. Figures stood outlined in eerie green light as he looked out of Adelaide’s eyes.
A rope bound Adelaide’s hands together, the palms against each other, and disappeared into the darkness. The sorcerer stood before her, both hands gripping the Staff of Nightfall. Carrick stood next to him, one hand on Alfred’s shoulder, the other on Tamina’s shoulder. Alfred and Tamina knelt with their wrists chained.
“I made you a promise, mage.” The sorcerer extended the staff toward Alfred.
“No! It’s not their fault! You can’t do this!” Adelaide lunged toward her parents, but something caught on her neck and yanked her backward. “You’re not king yet.” Desperation rang in her voice as she stared at the tip of the staff hovering over her father’s chest. “You said after you were king!”
“I am king.”
Adelaide’s eyes flicked up to the sorcerer. To the crown on his head that hadn’t been there a moment before. “No. No!”
Regulus forced his eyes open and the nightmare vanished. “Adelaide! You have to wake up.” He shook her, but she didn’t open her eyes. “Wake. Up!”
Her eyes opened wide, the whites stark in the darkness. She grabbed his arms and her fingers dug through his sleeves as she looked around.
“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe. Your father and mother are safe. The sorcerer and Carrick aren’t here.”
Her face relaxed and she leaned into him. He stroked her back, her chest heaving.
“Wha goin’ on?” Alfred mumbled.
“Nightmare,” Regulus said. “You can go back to sleep.”
Alfred mumbled something, and a few moments later, his breathing deepened again.
“Wait.” Adelaide pulled back to look into his face. “My parents?” She bit her lip. “Did you...see my dream?”
“I closed my eyes while touching you. I didn’t mean to,” he added, hoping she wasn’t offended. “It just happened.” She didn’t respond. “Do you want to talk?”
She shook her head.
“Okay.” He wrapped his arms around her. He could feel her heart still racing. “If you change your mind, I’m here.” He held her while her breathing and heartrate slowed and wished he could do something more.
“Kirven...” Adelaide’s voice was barely a whisper. “He promised to torture my family in front of me until they went mad from the pain. And you. But not until after he’s king, so I thought we could stop him. But... I don’t know if we can.”
His fingers brushed against her bare arm. The fear and hopelessness he sensed seemed so unlike the woman who just a couple weeks ago looked at him and said she would help free him. Who said if the sorcerer went back on his word, they would find another way together. She had been through so much, and it made his heart feel squeezed and hung out to dry.
“I’m not giving up.” Regulus rubbed her back. “You have endured so much. Don’t give up now.”
She nestled closer to his chest. “It’s just...hard.”
“I know.” Etiros knows just how much.
Adelaide reached under his right sleeve and her fingers rubbed the scars from his attempts to remove the sorcerer’s mark. “How did you stay strong and keep hope for two years?”
“I didn’t.” He sighed. “Dresden wouldn’t let me give up. He...”
Honesty. He needed to be honest. He had seen all Adelaide’s fears, all her pain. He couldn’t hide his from her. Maybe it would help, somehow, to know she wasn’t alone.
“Shortly after I took the oath, I refused to rob a cathedral. The sorcerer...if he’d maintained control a few seconds longer, I would have murdered Dresden. Harold barely escaped, too.” Regulus gulped against the lump lodged in his throat. “I went to the cathedral after that. Killed an innocent monk. While I was gone, Dresden somehow convinced Harold to stay. Later, Dresden found me after I tried to cut out the mark, and when that failed repeatedly, tried...” His mouth felt dry. “I tried...”
His throat closed as the locked-away memory came crashing back, along with the recollection of his pain. His wretched hopelessness, fear, and self-loathing.
“Please, Drez.”
“I won’t. Don’t ask me to.”
“I’ve tried everything else! I—I need you to behead me. Please. Please.”
Dresden had taken Regulus’ bloody sword and tossed it aside. Bits and pieces of what Dresden had said echoed in his mind. “This isn’t how you win. I’ll help, Regulus, I promise. This is temporary. You’re more than your failures, mistakes, your worst moments, or the sorcerer’s actions. You can’t leave me. I’m not abandoning you. You’re my friend, my brother. The world is a better place because of Regulus Hargreaves, and I won’t see the world become worse by losing you.”
Adelaide sucked in a breath and pulled away, but before her skin left his, he sensed it wasn’t out of shock or disgust. She simply couldn’t bear feeling his emotions.
“Reg...” She clapped her hand over her mouth and looked toward Dresden. “I didn’t mean to...” Her voice was jagged and raw, and a hint of moonlight caught in the silent tears on her cheeks.
Oh. No. “You...saw?” He wiped away his own tears.
She threw her arms around him. “I’m sorry.”
Regulus now understood how horrified Adelaide had been when he accidentally spied on Carrick’s attack. The realization she had not only seen him at his lowest and most vulnerable, but lived his memory of it, crushed him. But Adelaide didn’t turn away. He leaned into her embrace, but avoided touching his skin to hers, careful not to flood her with his emotions again.
“I lost hope,” he said past his tight vocal cords. “I saw no way forward, and the guilt...”
She rubbed his back and arms and moved closer against his chest. Comforting and accepting him as his emotions choked him. Her unflinching love soothed his battered heart.
“But Drez didn’t abandon me or judge me,” he continued quietly. “He never stopped believing in me. He was always nudging me forward, insisting I keep living my life like it was normal, because it would be someday. He came up with a mantra to ground me when my thoughts got too dark. And he got me Magnus. To ‘give me a reason to leave my room.’” Which did help, actually.
Regulus shifted. Part of him felt exposed and ridiculous. Part of him was relieved to tell her, to talk about it.
“I’m glad you have him,” Adelaide whispered.
“Me too.” He licked his lips. They still tasted salty from the afternoon of sea breezes. “No one is strong all the time, Ad. Even tigers run from fire and hunters.” He kissed her hair. “That’s why we all need each other. I thought I was being strong by separating myself and putting up walls. I thought I was protecting my friends. But Dresden was right. Being a lone wolf made me weaker, not stronger, and only hurt the people I care about.”
Adelaide squeezed him tighter.
“I don’t expect you to be fearless.” Regulus stroked her hair. “But I hope you’ll stand with me and try to do what’s right. Together.”
After a moment, she responded. “Thank you. For being honest.” She felt for his hand in the dark and gripped it, and her determination, heartache, and love poured into him. “I think I can manage together.”
