President of Archeological Indifference
Vice-President of Truth
Secretary of Statistics
Minister of Celebrity Injustice
Chief of Staff & Serpent
Blessed Page-Turner of The Great Book
of Misdeeds and Over-Estimations
Bishop of the Great Climate War
Minister of the Deteriorating Sky
Baron of Epic Boredom and Self-Indulgence
ALL GATHERED NOTABLES
I greet you on behalf of The Great Almighty
who was unable to pull himself from
what many are calling the greatest un-scripted reality show of all-time
the very conducting of your lives and attitudes.
We are very proud of the success of our show and network.
Not only have we successfully created
“racists” “bigots” “arrogant country-men”
“patriots” “heart-less capitalists”
but we have also maintained our position as
The Misbegotten, The Pure of Heart
The Heavenly Dove, The Docile Lamb
and The Forgiving Wife.
If Our Great Almighty
could be with us this evening
He would surely want each and every one of you
to know that He graciously accepts your inability to pay your rent
and that He is willing to allow you to do some of His work
so that we might lesson the gaps between the employed and unemployed.
It’s not easy to sit back and allow
countless genocides, watch innocence murdered
see trickery and deceit over-ride common-sense and human compassion
and keep one’s thumb held, steadily
on the remote control.