Chapter Nine

“Jade?”

The soft query in Han’s voice made her melt. She moved away from the door, turning to face it warily as he entered and closed it behind him. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” she said flatly. “Can you apologize to Tristan for me and take me home? Having my lesson here was also an epically bad idea.”

Han took a few steps toward her but before he could say anything, Cat entered the room.

Jade barely stopped herself from swearing at her and telling her to get the hell out. She wanted to be home. Alone. But Cat started speaking before she could say anything. Which turned out to be a good thing because it kept her from making a fool of herself—again.

“I don’t know what happened in there, but do I need to kick Tristan where it counts?”

With that, Cat did exactly what Jade needed. And she probably had no idea. Jade let out a breath and relaxed with it. Her mouth quirked up in a half-smile. “Not this time. I’ll take a rain check though. Maybe you could tell him I’m sorry, but I’m not feeling well?”

She snorted derisively. “Whatever, Nerd. I’m not buying it, but maybe he will. Was kinda looking forward to some ass-kicking, but whatever.” She paused and looked at her for a moment, then nodded her head once. “Adios.”

Han looked at her silently while Cat left the room and closed the door behind her. “What happened?”

She crossed her arms and looked mutinously at him.

He blew out a frustrated breath. “Listen, señorita, you’re the one who insisted on dancing in the wedding. I am willing to go the extra mile for this because Beck is like a brother to me, so whatever I need to do for you to make it happen, I’ll do it. But you need to make up your mind and stop wasting my time if this is too much for you.”

She turned away from him, rubbed the locket between her thumb and forefinger before she combed her hands through her hair. She couldn’t think clearly when she looked at him. She got too caught up in the view.

What did she want? Could she do this or was she kidding herself because, deep down, what she actually wanted was to spend time with Han? And if that was her motive, she was well and truly screwed. She took a few deep, slow breaths in an effort to relax but it didn’t work. Complicated thoughts and feelings swirled around inside her like a tornado. She couldn’t latch onto anything that might ground her. Not even the locket did the trick this time.

“Right now, what I need is for you to leave me alone, Alejandro.” At least she managed to get that out calmly and quietly, but she knew her tense shoulders and clenched hands told a different story. “I need a minute is all. Just—could you please go?”

She swore he growled in frustration before he closed the door behind him. She collapsed into a chair, but too agitated to stay there for long, she was back to pacing the room within moments.

She felt split in two and each half was having an almighty row with the other. She desperately wanted to move on from her past. To be around people without being ever-vigilant about getting too close. Most of the time it seemed like an impossible dream. But then there was Han, who could get close and her issues melted away. Maybe it wasn’t so impossible after all. Then this. A perfectly normal guy, wanting no more than to help her learn some dance moves, and she was on the verge of a meltdown. If she’d never met Han, she’d be in the comfort zone of her little bubble right now, in blissful ignorance of the crazy emotions a single human being could arouse. A place where her issues for the most part no longer existed, and she lived a fairly satisfying life.

She stopped pacing. Her heart thundered in her chest as anger exploded and eclipsed everything else. Anger at her mother for dying and leaving her. Anger at her stepfather for coping with his loss in such a horrible way. And anger at herself for regressing when faced with the stress of getting close to a man. Anger at her therapist for telling her she wouldn’t be completely healed until she faced her anger. But who was she supposed to be angry with?

The walls started closing in on her. She needed air. She needed space to move. She opened the office door and marched down the hall. She wanted out of here. Now. So badly she was stupidly oblivious to the fact she was a white girl in East L.A.

She headed down the sidewalk in a random direction, her shoes slapping the pavement so hard the noise echoed in her head. She sucked in air like she was suffocating and scrubbed away the tears that made it difficult to see. Stupid tears.

Why did her mother have to marry that disgusting, selfish man? Why did she have to die and leave Jade to pick up the pieces? To deal with raising Lexi alone, forcing Jade to grow up too soon. But worst of all, to be exposed to the lascivious desires of her stepfather. Damn it! She didn’t want to have this hate and anger. It merely gave other people power over her. And until Han came along, she thought she was over it. Had all that time and money spent on therapy been a joke? No. She grabbed her locket, opened it and looked at the picture for a moment before closing it and letting it go. She knew there would always be times when there were too many stressors and she regressed. That was normal.

She was jerked back to reality when someone grabbed her arm and yanked it so hard her momentum spun her around to face them. Her personal space bubble was being invaded way too often of late.

Cat.

“Are you really that stupid?” Cat’s gaze roamed her face, saw the tears. “Tristan did try to pull something. Or was it Han? Only a guy could get a girl crazy enough to make mistakes like the one you just did, coming out here by yourself.”

“What?” Jade desperately tried to come to grips with the present and her eyes eventually focused on the view behind Cat. Trashed out cars abandoned on the side of the road, worn out old buildings covered with graffiti, corrugated metal fences topped with rings of barbed wire and painted with street art. “I guess I am stupid.”

Cat let go of her arm and shook her head in disgust. “White chicks. Think they own the world and can do whatever they want.”

“Not this one. I wish I could do whatever I want. And right now, that doesn’t include going back to the studio. But it’s the smart thing. Thanks for the wake-up call. I owe you one.”

Cat shrugged a shoulder and the look in her eyes softened. She shook her hair back off her face. “Whatever. I’ll hang with you if you want. I know what it’s like to need to escape.”

Jade hesitated. She didn’t want to come across as ungrateful. It was a huge deal that Cat had offered to stay with her, even come after her for that matter. It sucked that what she wanted more than anything right now was to be alone.

Cat’s eyes hardened as she snorted with disgust and stepped back a pace. “Never mind. I get it. Not the right type for you to be seen with. Even in my ’hood. What an idiot I am for thinking you were different.”

“Good lord, Cat, not at all. The fact you came after me is enough to make me cry.” Then, when Cat wrinkled her nose, she said, “Not that I will. I’m lame, but not that lame.” Jade smiled faintly and looked at her for a moment before looking down at her hands. She was wringing them together and hadn’t realized it. “The smart thing for me to do is go back to the studio, but what I really want is to be by myself. Outside. On a beach.”

“That I can help you with. If you’ve got money or a bus pass.”

“I do but it’s in Han’s car. Never mind. I guess I need to put on my big girl panties and go back.”

“Well, you can’t go anywhere alone here, that’s for sure; you’ll get killed or attacked, or worse, but I have an idea where you could go.”

Jade raised her brows, the vice around her heart easing a bit. “Really?”

“Señor Alejandro’s garage.”

“It’s locked.”

“Yeah, but I have the key.”

“He gave you the card key to his garage?”

“No. He has no idea. And if he finds out I have one, you’re going to pay.” Cat gave her a hard look then swore in Spanish. “What is it with you? You get me to do things I don’t want to do.”

Jade stiffened, and the look on her face made Cat laugh wickedly. “I have no clue. It surprises me as much as it does you.”

“Whatever the hell it is, it works on Señor Alejandro too. He’s…Hell, I don’t know, suave—softer—around you.”

“If you watched one of our dance lessons, I think you wouldn’t feel that way.”

“Whatever. Just keep your damn mouth shut.”

Jade held up her hands. “Your secret’s safe with me. But how did you get his key if he didn’t give it to you, and how does he not know you have it?”

“What, you think because I’ve had a weak moment with you, I’m telling you all my secrets? Do you want to do this or not?”

“All right. Geez. You’re as mercurial as Han. Anyway, if you can get in the garage, I have access to my purse. Which means I can catch a bus to Venice Beach.”

They returned to the studio and went to the underground garage without running into anyone except the receptionist at the front door. Cat pulled the card key from the pocket of her sweatpants, opened the door and walked in like she owned the place.

“You come here often?”

“Mmmm…Sometimes. Mostly when Señor Alejandro isn’t here.” She scrunched her nose. “When my mom has customers.”

“Customers? She runs a business out of your house? Which I’m guessing you don’t like.”

“Technically. A cash business that gives her extra income.”

“Han said she was an exotic dancer.”

“That too, though she’s going to have to give that up soon. Middle aged exotic dancers don’t go over very well. Hell, you can’t be that innocent and I know you’re smart. Think about it.”

“She sells herself.”

Cat nodded and shrugged like it didn’t matter, but the look on her face said she cared a lot. “She brings men home from the club for extra cash. So she can buy tequila.”

No wonder Han had a soft spot for her and wanted to do everything he could to make her life better. “Does that make you angry with her?”

She shrugged again. “Thought this was about you and your meltdown, not me. My turn to give you the third degree.”

Cat closed the garage door and stepped closer.

Han wasn’t the only one who had a soft spot for Cat. And she could ask herself the same thing Cat had wondered about her. What was it with these two that drew her out of her shell? “Fire away.”

“What’s the deal with Tristan? Did he try to pull something?”

Jade crossed her arms and turned away from Cat, rubbing her biceps like she was suddenly cold. She’d never talked to anyone about her past other than her therapist and now, in the space of a few weeks, she’d not only told Han, she was on the verge of telling Cat. But this was a good thing, wasn’t it? With Cat it might help Jade get closer to her, help her put her life on a different path so she could do better than her mother.

“It wasn’t Tristan. I—have some issues. Because of something that happened when I was seventeen.”

“Oh, you have issues. Poor little gringa. My mother is an exotic dancer and a whore. Get over yourself.”

Jade clenched her teeth and turned back to face Cat. “My mother died when I was seventeen and my stepfather couldn’t keep his hands off me. In order to protect my twelve-year-old sister, we moved out. I took care of her until she was old enough to be on her own.”

Cat swore in Spanish. “I guess no one’s immune from life taking a dump on them.”

She dropped her hands and fisted them at her sides “Han is the first man to touch me who doesn’t give me the creeps. And I’m pissed. I don’t want to freak out when someone like Tristan gets too close.”

“Are you mad at Han? He shouldn’t have brought you here in the first place.” She crossed her arms. “Maybe we should form a Men-Are-Jerks club.”

Jade let out a little laugh, though laughing was the last thing she felt like doing. “That’s the thing. Right now, I can’t sort out my head enough to know who I’m mad at, why I’m mad, or even what I’m supposed to be feeling right now.”

Cat raised her brows but didn’t say anything. Jade raised her fists and pressed them into the sides of her head as though that might make the feelings go away, but it did nothing, so she dropped them.

“Who are you mad at, Nerd?”

“Damn it, I feel like I’m mad at my mother, but she didn’t do anything wrong. Still, why did she have to marry that disgusting, selfish man? Why did she have to die and leave me to pick up the pieces? To deal with raising Lexi alone, forcing me to grow up too soon. She left me, Cat, to be mauled by my stepfather. It’s not fair! And then I look at you and Han, and everything you’ve had to deal with, and I think I’m ridiculous for letting it bother me so much.”

Cat crossed her arms and sighed. “This world sucks, and I’ve had a lot of experience with how this world can suck. It makes me angry, too. Sometimes really angry. That’s another reason why I come here. It’s better than doing something stupid that would make my life suck even more. Like be a gang whore. But that doesn’t minimize what happened to you. Some people just have more crap dumped on them than others. Get mad at your mom or whoever else you feel mad at. You have the right to. There’s stuff in here you can punch too, if you want. Hell, punch Han’s truck for all I care. Sometimes you need to get it out in a way that doesn’t make your life worse.”

Tears sprang to her eyes, even slid down her cheeks. Angry tears, but in the anger was admiration for Cat’s insight. She was tough. She had to be tough to get by in the neighborhood she lived in. But she was smart too.

“Damn it, Cat! I don’t want to cry. It’s stupid and doesn’t fix anything. I know that for a fact. And punching Han’s truck will hurt more than it will help.”

“So scream, or whatever it is you need to do to get it out. I’ll leave you alone so you won’t feel so inhibited.” She sighed. “I don’t want Han to kick me out of the group, so I better go back for a bit at least. I’ll let him know he needs to leave you alone to buy you some time. I’ll get back here as soon as I can and if you still want to go to Venice Beach, I’ll help you.”

“Thanks, Cat. I owe you big time. Seriously. Come to me for anything, anytime. I’ll give you my phone number and address.”