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Ellie, at twenty-two, was taking a break from dating. She said it was to restore back her faith in love and mankind. She had been in a few short-term relationships before. She affectionately referred to her ex-boyfriends as the four deadly horsemen.
Each of the biblical four riders represented an element before the prophesied apocalypse. They were war, famine, pestilence, and death. The horsemen in Ellie’s relationships had similar characteristics.
Her first boyfriend came riding into her life, on a figurative red horse. She was fourteen, and the relationship lasted three weeks. They broke up over a video game, as he wouldn’t concede to being defeated by a girl. She grew tired of his combative nature, and excessive competitiveness, saying that it only ignited her own anger and bad mood.
Her second boyfriend, she said, was the rider on the black horse. She broke up with him at seventeen, because he wouldn’t share his food with her. The last straw in the relationship was when she made sandwiches for both, but he ended up eating everything unapologetically, leaving her hungry and famished. Ellie said that she wouldn’t tolerate being with someone as selfish and greedy as him.
Her third boyfriend was after high school, and at nineteen. I didn’t even get to meet him, as Ellie found out through an incensed ex, that he was a notorious cheater, and had multiple ‘girlfriends’, at any given point. Within a month, she sent him riding away on his white horse, out of Ellie’s life for good. The cheat kept his player ways and continued to be a source of pestilence in the community.
I got to meet her last boyfriend, but it surprised me when they had broken up after only seven months. I asked Ellie if she had been unfair to him, and to ask how he became the last of the four horsemen.
“But Brad was nice... he was such a gentleman. He wasn’t like any of your other boyfriends. Why did you break up with him, Ellie?”
“It wasn’t who he was, but what he did, that made me break up with him.”
“I don’t understand. I met him a couple of times, but he was always friendly. I can’t imagine him doing anything bad to anyone.”
“No, technically he didn’t mean to harm anyone else, and I agree that he was perfect in every other way.”
“Then why did you two break up? Why do you keep calling him Death on the pale horse?”
“Cassie, do you remember your conversations with him?
I thought back to our conversations, but remembered nothing unusual... except there was this one thing.
“Ellie, I remember that there was this one weird thing. I kept sneezing whenever he talked. But that was me, and not him.”
I remember when Ellie first introduced me to Brad; I kept interrupting our introduction by a series of sneezes. He could barely finish a sentence in front of me, without being interrupted by my sneeze. Come to think of it, that happened every time he came over.
“Cassie, that was part of the reason I broke up with him.”
“So, you broke up with him because you thought I was allergic to him?" I asked, confused.
“No, dummy. You weren’t allergic to him. He was a smoker, and you kept sneezing because of the lingering smoke smell coming from his clothes.”
Ah! Now it made sense. I was very sensitive to any smoke, and couldn’t help sneezing if it was in my vicinity. One of my many charms, besides being hopelessly indecisive.
“His smoking was the deal breaker? I think he really liked you, Ellie. He could have quit. Did you talk to him about it?”
“He had told me he was a smoker on our first date, but I didn’t mind it at first because he was so cute. I thought he would eventually give it up, but he kept smoking, cigarette after cigarette, on our dates. I finally had to break up with him, when all I could smell was cigarette smoke.”
“That is a bummer. What a lousy habit to get stuck with. It is unfortunate he could have been such a catch too.”
“Yeah, I know, but it was his decision to keep smoking. I had to decide what was best for me, and my health.”
“I understand now, Ellie, that you didn’t randomly break up with him. So, are you still going to take a break from dating?”
“Yes. It will probably be for the best right now. I still have the memories of the four horsemen to deter me from doing so at the moment. After all that, I can’t deal with a dating apocalypse!”
We both looked at each other glumly. We were both warriors from the dating world, with our own scars from the battles.
“Why is dating so hard, Ellie?”
“I wish I knew Cassie, I wish I knew... ”
“When will it get better?”
“I guess we will just have to sift through the bad to reach the good. Maybe a break isn’t such a bad idea, once in a while.”
I saw Ellie deep in thought. I asked what she was thinking about.
“I have already named my ex-boyfriends, after the four horsemen. I was thinking, what else could I name the new ones after? The seven deadly sins?”
“Seven deadly sins? Oh no, Ellie! I hope you won’t have to deal with a bad boyfriend, ever again!”
“You are right. It is better to think positive. Amen to that!”
“Ellie, do you think there is such a thing as the One?”
“Hmm... I know that some people believe in such things... ”
“You sound pessimistic?”
“No, I am just tragically aware that people are people.”
“And?”
“People are bags of emotions and feelings, including frustration, annoyance and disappointment. It is too much to say someone is the One, unless you can be the One for them too.”
“That makes sense. We shouldn’t put all our hopes onto one idea or person, unless we will commit and sacrifice for them as well?”
“Or Cassie, we could just delude ourselves into thinking we are both the Ones, and live happily until we die?”
“That could work as well.”
We both looked at each other and smiled at our conclusion.
Truth be told, no matter what Ellie said, she was a hopeless romantic at heart. After her break from dating, she will be back to her optimistic self again. Her heart was too big for setbacks, or resentments, in finding love.