To Cecile
3 × 1 = 3
3 × 2 = 6
3 × 3 = 9
3 = US
Afua + Vonetta + Delphine
1 = You
Cecile
3 × love
4 U
Happy Valentine’s Day!
It was Fern’s card, but we all signed our names.
Even though our house is only blocks away from the school, Pa led me around to the front passenger side of the Wildcat, jammed the key in the door lock, and told me to get in. The seat covers were cold when I slid over to unlock the door on the driver’s side. I was glad to have my royal blue coat, fur and all.
Vonetta and Fern stood in the doorway, watching. Mrs. appeared and shouted, “Delphine! Wait!” She had something pink and square in her hand. Pa yelled, “We don’t have time for that. She’ll get it later.” Pa’s lips tightened. “That woman.”
“Get what, Pa?” I asked.
“Some mail I picked up. It’ll be there when you get back.” He said it like, “Case closed.”
I sat back while Pa revved up the Wildcat. On top of butterflies, on top of wanting to go to the dance and not wanting to go alone, I was anxious about what would be waiting for me when I got back.
Papa looked grim, like he was driving me to the state prison, so I didn’t press him on what Mrs. had waiting for me. Then I smiled. Big. It was a valentine. Of course it was! I almost didn’t care who it came from. A kitchen-printed card from Cecile. A Jesus card from Big Ma. Even a dime-store card from Uncle Darnell, wherever he was. No matter what happened at the dance, I still had a valentine card to come home to.
Vonetta, Fern, and Mrs. huddled in the cold and waved from the door as if I was going to a ball far, far away, but the truth was, they’d still be able to see the Wildcat when we got to the school. The headlights came on and the Wildcat shimmied out of the parking space.
The dark arrived early. It always did that time of year. By six o’clock it seemed like midnight. The insides of our car hadn’t warmed up yet but it didn’t matter. We’d be there in less than two minutes. I turned the rabbit-fur collar up around my face, against the chill, and wrapped my arms around my waist for the butterflies. We were a block away. I saw kids walking up to the school in pairs and in groups. Some got out of cars. No one walked alone.
Pa and I sat at the stop sign. When it was safe to cruise ahead, Pa put on his blinkers and turned left toward Atlantic Avenue. He pulled the car over but kept the engine running.
He waited for the Atlantic Avenue El train to pass overhead, and told me, “You don’t have to go to this school dance.”
Mrs. had straightened my hair with Big Ma’s hot comb and gave me a flip bang. When I whipped my head to face him the bang was full of bounce and poked me in the eye. I brushed it to the side.
“Papa . . .”
“It’s just you and me, Delphine. We can see whatever’s playing at the RKO Theatre. Get a bag of popcorn. Some Good & Plenty. Like before.” He drummed his fingernails against the steering wheel.
I hadn’t had my father to myself in so long. Not to spring out of bed to warm up his dinner when I heard his key in the door. Not to sit in the front passenger side of the Wildcat. For a second, I liked the loneliness of it. The two of us sitting in the cold on Atlantic Avenue. I felt like I’d never have this chance to have him to myself again.
“Just you. Just me,” he said. “Up to you, Delphine.”
I loved being there with my father, but I chose a long time ago. I was going to the sixth-grade dance, whether anyone asked me to be their special date or not. The worst thing was to not go at all. It would be like everyone else was in the sixth grade and I was in the fifth. That was how Rukia would feel on Monday when everyone else came in still talking about the dance. As sure as I was dressed, my hair looked good, and the dance was going on right around the corner, I knew I wasn’t going to the RKO Theatre with my father.
Pa stopped drumming and turned toward me.
I still had my father all to myself. Even if for a few blocks. A few minutes. I knew I could ruin the magic around us, but I had to ask him what Cecile wouldn’t tell me. What only he could tell me.
“Why didn’t you marry our mother?”
I took him by surprise. He sighed. Shook his head. A sad, slow shake. I couldn’t tell if he was angry at me for asking or mad at himself for being caught off guard.
“That’s not for you to know,” he said.
I had ruined it. My father was trying to rescue me from being a long-legged wallflower and all I had done was make him mad. Or sad.
Still, a stubborn streak showed on my face. He must have seen it and knew I wouldn’t stop asking.
“Look at you, Delphine,” he said, trying to not be mad at me. “Pretty dress. Hair done up like Diana Ross. . . .”
Tell me, Pa. Please tell me.
I had to know. For me, and for my sisters. “Did you love Cecile, Pa?”
Another sigh.
“I love your mother, Delphine. I do. That’s all you need to know,” he said.
He glanced at his mirror before pulling the Wildcat out of its spot and making a U-turn. I thought we were going back home. That I had pushed him further than a girl should push her father. Instead, we circled around to get back to the school. I guess Pa just wanted to take the long way.
I saw Evelyn Alvarez and Anthony walking up to the entrance, trailed by Evelyn’s three teenage brothers, her chaperones. The Alvarez brothers waited out on the sidewalk until she and Anthony were inside. If Evelyn went with Anthony, then Michael S. must have asked Lucy.
Pa double-parked our car just outside the entrance. I checked the mirror to see if I could get out, but Papa pointed his finger at me and said, “Stay put.” He got out of the car, walked around, then opened the passenger door and held out his hand. I couldn’t stop smiling. I tried to act like I couldn’t see other kids and Evelyn’s brothers watching my father taking my arm and escorting me like he was Nat King Cole, but I could feel them all watching.
As we walked toward the door, he said, “Delphine, you need to also know you’re a lady. It’s always a lady’s choice and never the other way around.”
I didn’t know if he was telling me how to behave at the dance or if he was telling me why he and Cecile never married. I still said, “I know, Papa,” just the right way, although I didn’t know a thing.
He bent down and gave me a peck on the cheek. “Have a good time, princess.” I kissed him back and then I went inside.