Chapter Fourteen

CAMERON

 

Cameron stepped out of the elevator and filtered through the minds on the floors above, below, and the one he was on until he found Nathen, Syn, and his mom. He usually kept himself from reading through Syn’s thoughts out of respect but sometimes caught them without meaning to, much like a scent of perfume on the wind. Syn’s bittersweet emotions enveloped him as he saw her sitting with Julia and Maria, regaling them with memories of when Syn stayed over, almost every weekend when they were younger, and they would camp in the backyard or in a pillow fort in the living room if the weather was bad. He could also hear his mother’s thoughts. She hadn’t focused on shutting him out and the connection made him swell with a myriad of emotions he tried to dampen. She was remembering raising him, and he could feel her love for both him and Syn. He frowned, noting her thoughts kept drifting over to Nathen who had disengaged. He was sitting on the couch paying attention to his phone and ignoring the women, which Maria found rude. She was already worried about him being a vampire and surprised again when he ate a pastry.

Cameron switched to focus on Nathen, who wasn’t interested in the conversation the women were having. His ‘logical’ desire was to step away from any conversation he didn’t find interesting and entertain himself. Cameron chuckled, as this was a typical behavior for many people with autism and made a note to himself to explain to his mother so she didn’t think Nathen was angry at her or purposefully rude. It was just his social ineptness that interfered sometimes. Cameron didn’t mind. He loved Nathen’s direct nature and the fact he never had to guess how Nathen felt or if he was upset or judging him, because Nathen would tell him. Of course, with their connection, there was no guesswork anyway.

“Hey, gorgeous. Got breakfast.” Cameron projected the image of the cooler he was carrying with the six bags of blood he had procured from the blood bank.

He entered the hotel room and smiled at the women, saying, “Morning, all.” He also set a tray of coffees on the table between them. “Want me to microwave some for you?” he silently asked Nathen as he moved to the kitchen.

Cameron could perceive Nathen was happy to see him, though emotions of apprehension and discomfort filtered through. He furrowed his brow but figured he could circle back to them.

“Sure, that sounds great. I can help.”

The women had all smiled and greeted Cameron, grateful for the coffee but looking at Nathen curiously when he responded aloud to something they hadn’t heard. Cameron flinched, feeling his mother’s wall come up, but he found himself surrounded by a cloud of apprehension from her at the same time as Nathen mentally disclosed his side of the conversation he had had with Maria. Cameron had come to learn that memories were fluid, dependent largely on context and emotion and liable to change with experience, different information, or simply time. As he busied himself pouring some of the blood into a mug and putting it in the microwave, he gathered the memory of the conversation from Nathen. It was a simplistic and forthright account: Maria had asked about Cameron and Nathen had told him about Cameron’s traits. Then, the conversation had led to how difficult Cameron’s life had been, that there were things they had done in situations they wouldn’t have done otherwise, and Maria had ended the conversation. Cameron glanced over to his mother who was quietly listening to Syn’s description of Cameron’s chai addiction.

“Gorgeous, I don’t want to probe. What, exactly, did you tell her about the ‘things’ we wouldn’t have done otherwise? She’s…sending off feelings of apprehension.”

Nathen shifted awkwardly. “I said you had a particularly strong survival instinct and had been put in a situation to use it. It was either us or them. But now that I think on it, maybe it’s something you should have brought up. I was just trying to say you are a strong person, despite all the tragedy, and you’re all right. I’m sorry.”

Cameron wrapped an arm around Nathen, chewing thoughtfully on his lower lip as he studied his mother with concern. “It’s okay. I’ll talk to her.”

The microwave chirped, and Cameron retrieved the mug for Nathen, pressing it into his palm before forcing a smile. “So, the plan? Mom, Julia, you two are taking off soon then? Nathen, Syn and I fly out just after sundown and will get a car and meet you at your friend’s house.”

Syn and Julia spoke at the same time, laughed, and Julia went on. “Yes, we were just waiting on you so that you and Maria can have some time, and then we’ll head out. I’ve called ahead, and everyone knows you’re coming. We appreciate your help.”

As she was speaking, Cameron could feel the mutual attraction between Julia and Syn. Having known Syn for over a decade, he could tell all the signs of her having chosen her next “conquest,” but he’d never seen her go after anyone so much older than herself. Julia was his mother’s age but plans for where Syn would be sleeping when they got there were at the forefront of her mind.

Nathen had also been listening to the surface thoughts going through Cameron’s mind. “Huh, she likes MILF’s…”

Spewing the sweetened tea out in a coughing fit, Cameron’s already pinkened cheeks burned a brilliant magenta at Nathen’s mental observation. He quickly excused himself and headed to the bedroom, trying to keep from laughing, and leaving the three women silently tracking his retreat.

“Damn, gorgeous, you can’t do that to me! I’m still not used to you knowing what I know.” He laughed as he splashed water on his face.

Nathen innocently added, “Oh, right, sorry, I just think that’s nice. Looking past someone’s age and seeing them for who they are. Of course, since we know mages live long, who knows how old she actually is. She could be a bicentennial instead of what she looks like.”

Wiping the water from his face, Cameron studied his reflection. He had never thought of his mother’s age, had always assumed she was the same age as everyone else’s mom and even though she still looked like she was in her twenties or thirties, Nathen was right—Julia and his mom could be any age at all. He idly thought about how gross it would be if Julia was a hundred and pictured an old, shriveled grandmother and Syn kissing.

Having retreated to the bedroom to drink the warmed blood outside the view of the women, Nathen was settled on the bed when Cameron came out of the bathroom.

Nathen didn’t share the disgust of the image; his thoughts, instead, focused on the maturity of mind and common interests. Maybe Julia could teach Syn how to crochet or do some other trendy hipster thing popular a hundred years ago. “Thank you for the blood. It’s not too bad when it’s warm. Like a hot chocolate, its soothing, semi-thick and filling with a metallic aftertaste. “

With a rush of adoration and the joy of being able to provide for his lover, Cameron kissed Nathen’s head. “I’m going to go see if I can’t get some time with Mom before they take off.”

*

“HEY, MOM. WANT to go down to the Riverwalk, talk for a bit before you all have to take off?” Cameron asked, entering the living room where Julia and Syn were animatedly engaged. He noticed Maria was sitting back, watching the women with quiet amusement.

Cameron stiffened when Maria’s apprehension filtered over him though she brushed it aside as she stood, forcing a smile. “Of course, mi corazón.”

They rode down the elevator together in an awkward silence. Now that they were alone, Cameron struggled with how to start. How was he even supposed to feel? There was so much he wanted to ask, but fear tickled at the back of his mind. What was he going to say? How would she feel about him and Nathen, a vampire? But he couldn’t not ask. Right? It was a strange feeling, so different than when last saw her. He had been a teenager, trapped between the righteous know-it-all indignation of youth with a need to spread his wings, and blindly believing wholeheartedly in a child’s safety with a parent who he knew was always going to be there. A shattered reality shaped who he was today. And to have her back was almost tangibly shifting. He was reduced to the child who wanted nothing more than to curl up in her lap and be comforted; battling with the raging teenager who wanted to argue; balanced with the adult who could understand her reasoning but did not want to accept it. He mused it was the Freudian id, ego, and superego concepts all in play; but his knowledge of theoretical personality formation didn’t help him at all in this instance.

As they walked silently down the stairs to the river, Cameron debated. He glanced over at Maria who seemed content as she took in the artificial beauty of the waterfront the city had built up as one of its main tourist attractions. He could feel her defenses hiding her surface thoughts. When he was a child, her mental defense against him had been like a brick wall he might be able to climb if he tried, but even then he had a sense of propriety. Now, her defenses were like a sheer privacy screen he could see through if he peered into it. Her emotions were also neutral, likely driven by whatever thoughts she kept from him.

Finally, as they began strolling beside the slow roiling waves, he asked softly, “Mom, what did Nathen tell you?”

She may be able to put up a basic guard against him reading her thoughts, but emotions were a cloud around someone and not easily obscured. Waves of apprehension and concern washed over him even as she said, “He said you’ve grown into an impressive young man. Someone to be proud of. Someone he loves.”

Cameron didn’t want a confrontation. He didn’t want to drive her away or cause an argument this soon after a reunion, but he couldn’t let her go with any negative perceptions of him. When he was a child he had been crushed when she was disappointed with him and he had found himself going to great lengths to please her. She always said he was much too sensitive a child. Ugh, he hated that he felt like a child again!

Cameron opened his mouth to speak and was caught off guard when his mother turned and slid her hands into both of his, holding them tightly. “Aaron, you are my son. And you will always be my son. What has happened in the past…well, that’s past,” she said with a pained look. “I don’t know if not looking for you was a mistake. I’ve thought about you every day and prayed for your safety, your joy. I thought by staying away you would find happiness, and I was right. You’re a doctor. You’ve made a life for yourself. You’re in love. These are things that a mother wishes for her child.”

Swept up in his mother’s outpouring of love, Cameron bit his lip against the swelling feelings that threatened to engulf him. He allowed his mother’s adoration to swirl around him, through him, empowering and healing. Despite the purity of the moment, pain lingered under the surface for both of them, a darkness bubbled. Though his mother’s gifts were in healing the body, and she wasn’t a telepath like he was, he knew she had some minor empathic abilities, so he wasn’t surprised when she preempted his desire to interrupt.

“We’ve both done things in our lives that we have had to do. Things I’m certain we’re not proud of. Mi corazón, let us leave the past in the past? Por favor? I don’t want our future to be colored by our past.”

Maria’s pleading look both infuriated and pacified Cameron. How could anyone’s future not be colored by their past? He was torn between screaming at her for letting him think for almost a decade she was dead and hugging her tightly, petrified of losing her again. He didn’t want to meet her in New Orleans. He could barely stand the idea of letting her out of his sight. But his struggle was dissolved when she pulled him into her embrace, and as he had the night before, he was reduced to the child crying in his mother’s arms. He managed to mutter his fears to her, muffled in her shoulder, “I don’t want to lose you again. I can’t.”

“We won’t, mi corazón. I promise,” she murmured against him and he knew she spoke the truth. Besides, if they did, Nathen could track her magically…

They spent an hour hand in hand, walking along the fitted stone path of the increasingly busy area. He answered questions about his schooling, San Francisco, and his job at the nonprofit clinic. Cameron purposefully left out mention of Impetus and the fact that he’d had to sell his freedom to the Company to find her.

The pair ended up back at the hotel where they found Julia had already packed. After walking them down and loading their car, Cameron steeled himself against the emotions of watching his mother drive away and leaned into Syn, allowing the strength of her embrace to fortify him until they were in the elevator where they could both cry. Cameron’s open channel allowed them to share emotions about the reunion, and their mutual fears of losing Maria again.