In this really crazy and original story, Bonnie gives us a logical end point of some magic. And a love affair just not normal in any way. A perfect type of Pulphouse story.

Bonnie writes in a variety of genres. Her popular Whisper series is contemporary fantasy and her Teenage Fairy Godmother series is written for teens. More information about her writing can be found at https://www.bonnieelizabeth.com/

He should never have let her talk him into a traditional wedding service. Didn’t she know that he loved her beyond all reason, beyond sense, beyond death, which would do them part no matter what his heart told him. No matter what his heritage insisted upon.

Eddie waited outside the chapel in outside of Las Vegas proper, a large white silk bag more suited to a bride than a groom at his feet. The chapels in Vegas were too crowded, too many people all waiting to be married, but this place, out on the desert along the highway that brought drivers from California, stood lonesome and waiting for couples too desperate or poor to marry in the city.

The low, square, white building was unremarkable but for the large sign in bright golden lights advertising weddings. It sat on a lonely stretch of road that the main highways bypassed. Enough cars still used it that their tires and the hum of engines were a blank white noise beyond the driveway and parking lot. A slight breeze blew against Eddie’s elegantly tailored black jacket that kept him a little too warm for the day.

It might be a scenic place, if you liked the desert, but over the last years, in his hunt to find his wife, Eddie had become tired of desert scenes. He would be glad to leave it to others, unless, of course, Lisa wanted to see more desert, though he doubted it.

Raphael waited with him, the bloodhound looking sorrowful, though with his wrinkles and jowls the look was pretty typical for him. A bone or food made him look just as ready to cry. In January his black fur shouldn’t be getting too hot, but Eddie had planned ahead and had a collapsible dish of water waiting at the dog’s feet. So far, Raphael had ignored it, paying more attention to the cars that drove by on the highway.

The place smelled heavily of lilies, which reminded Eddie of funerals, not weddings. He hadn’t ordered flowers but clearly the people before him had, which was too bad. There’d been a crowd a few minutes ago, but now the parking lot was nearly empty but for the elongated Hummer limousine in white and gold that waited and two other small cars, one a red Honda Civic that looked ready to fall apart and one newer model Ford Fiesta in a shade of neon green that looked like something a cartoon ghost might vomit up.

Eddie’s own truck, a nondescript blue Ford F-150 that had seen better days but wasn’t yet ready for the scrap heap, sat parked under the single scraggly tree in the corner of the lot. Fingers of shade were growing longer over it, and Eddie hoped that when he and Lisa emerged from the chapel that it wouldn’t be too warm.

Laughter came from inside the chapel where the bride and groom finished their photos before following their friends off to whatever venue they had chosen for a reception. This chapel didn’t offer such amenities, which was likely another reason it was so quiet and the hosts were a little flexible in their rules.

Weddings in Las Vegas were big business among those who didn’t want to invite every person they’d ever met and be shamed in front of their Facebook-only friends for not inviting the virtual community as well.

Not that Eddie had friends on social media, nor was he completely certain what Facebook was. He was that old-fashioned. Lisa might have liked it, but when she’d disappeared, taken by the Southland Stalker, Mark Zuckerberg had yet to wish to know the names of cute girls at his college. Hell, he’d probably still been in elementary school, too young to worry about girls.

Lisa had been gone that long. It had been two months after their wedding, a big traditional affair. They’d married in Charlotte, where Lisa’s family was from, in a huge church wedding because that’s what you did in the South in the mid-nineties. The dress had been a sleek, figure-hugging thing that that was all lace and silk and Lisa had worried about sweating for the photos the entire time.

Her mother had hovered around with powder and her maid of honor, also lightly sweating—no matter the jokes about glistening not sweating, it was late June in the South, after all, and the temperatures were setting records—tried to dab away any tiny drops of sweat that beaded Lisa’s hairline. Eddie hadn’t cared, but Lisa had. She’d expected the fans and the air-conditioning in the chapel and at the reception hall next door to keep up with the heat, but with nearly three hundred people at the wedding and high temperatures outside, the air-conditioning had been unable to keep up. No pictures were taken outside.

Eddie had always pictured the Vegas desert as being hot, but here he was in the winter and he was only pleasantly warm. Lisa would have preferred this. In fact, the air was so dry, you probably couldn’t sweat out there. The moisture would be sucked from your skin before it could form.

The dryness was something Eddie had been fighting for the last few years. The Southland Stalker had refused to give up where he’d buried the bodies. Eddie had started looking at places around the home he shared with Lisa outside of San Diego and moved further into the desert as time went on.

Just a year ago, he’d gotten a lead when more housing had been built up outside of Phoenix and they found a cache of human bones. At first, they hadn’t tied it to anyone in particular, though like everyone else who had lost a loved one to the Stalker, he’d demanded that Lisa’s DNA be matched to the bones. It had come up empty, but two other families who had lost loved ones to the Stalker had had hits.

That was when Eddie had gotten Raphael. It was going to be a long search in the desert. The police had looked nearby but could not range too much further out without more leads.

Needles in haystacks were nothing to bones in the desert. Given that the Stalker had worked areas all over Southern California, it was completely possible that he’d dumped some bodies overboard into the ocean. If Lisa was out there, Eddie would never find her. It made his heart hurt to think such things and he’d refused to give up.

Raphael whined at him as the couple exited from the chapel along with a young woman so thin that she might have been a resurrected body and a man only slightly heavier. The bride was in a full wedding princess-dress complete with layers of lace and trim of pearls, or beads that looked like pearls. There were even crystals along the neckline which shone in the sun. Her dress was off-the-shoulder, the only concession to the potential heat. Her dark hair was done up with white flowers and more shiny crystals. Her rounded face glowed with happiness.

The groom looked barely old enough to drive. His gray suit was a bit too small for him, tight around the waist though the shoulders were fine. The pants just brushed the top of his shoes and Eddie wondered if the suit was his or if it was rented. The other young man, probably the best man, looked marginally older and his suit was a better fit. He walked with a confidence the groom lacked.

The skinny young woman picked up the train on the gown as the foursome walked towards the limo. A large man more suited to a mob boss’s bodyguard than a driver got out of the vehicle. The bride smiled at him as if they were old friends. Eddie wondered who the girl was but averted his eyes when the mirrored sunglasses on the driver turned in his direction.

The bride and groom and their entourage got in the limo and the motor of the car started with a soft purr that grew louder after just a few moments. Soon enough it joined the background noise of the cars along the highway, a natural white noise machine that would keep out unwanted sounds in the background.

Glynis, the petite red-haired woman who had talked to Eddie just yesterday about a private ceremony, stepped outside and smiled at him. “Is she here yet?”

Eddie nodded.

Glynis looked around, confused.

Eddie picked up a white silk bag at his feet. It was just over two feet long and soft with lace edging. He’d had it specially made for Lisa. Raphael stood up, aware that they were going to move. He lapped a bit of the water at his feet, the sounds loud in the parking lot that suddenly felt too silent for the festivities that were about to happen.

It took only a moment for Eddie to empty the dish and lead Raphael into the chapel. He paused at the entrance to let his eyes adjust. The lower half of the walls were painted white and the upper half had mirrors on them, between white rounded pillars touched with gold leaf. Though that brightened the room, the dark red carpet and the lack of direct sun made it hard to see. The aisle was short with white pews on either side. Pink lilies sat at the front of the altar, which was really just a big white counter with a gold strip around the sides.

Stained glass windows let in some light behind the altar, the images more floral oriented than religious, though perhaps the white slashes at the corner were meant to be angels hovering above a field of lilies.

Eddie carried his white bag up the aisle. Raphael followed, his leash tugging on his neck only slightly. He knew to behave inside buildings though he was far less obedient when off-leash outside.

“We can’t do a ceremony if your intended isn’t here,” Glynis said. Her white suit was immaculate and she had a small corsage of three pink mini-carnations. The minister, a balding man with a thick horseshoe-shaped mustache once black but now shot through with gray, waited near a pulpit to the left side, engrossed in whatever he was reading. He had on long white robes with a gold and red stole that draped around his neck and fell almost to the floor like the robes.

“She’s here,” Eddie said smiling. He opened the white bag and pulled out a femur. It was a pale cream, darkened slightly from the time in the dirt. Eddie caressed it with his hand. From the moment Raphael had found it in the desert, Eddie had had a feeling about this bone. There’d been another long bone connected, which he’d sent out to have DNA tested and his hunch had been right.

He’d finally found Lisa.

He’d spent nearly a month washing it, keeping it clean, keeping it warm and dry. He’d even slept with it in the bed next to him, careful never to roll over on it lest it shatter.

“That’s a bone,” Glynis said. The man who would officiate the ceremony, minister or lay person, looked up frowning.

“It’s hers,” Eddie said. “We had traditional vows until death us do part but death came so early for her—the Southland Stalker, you know—that it seemed wrong to break us up. I want vows that say we’ll never be parted.”

Glynis was trying to smile. The strain on her face was evident even to Eddie. He’d talked about an unusual wedding. What had she expected?

“I’m Pastor Eugene,” the big man said holding out a hand.

Eddie took it gratefully and nodded at him. “Eddie Brimley. This is…er…was…my wife, Lisa.”

Eddie was holding out the bone. Raphael was looking at it like he was hoping for a treat. Eddie hoped the dog wouldn’t grab the bone and take off with it. He didn’t want Lisa in any pain and Raphael had big teeth.

Of course, he shouldn’t worry. Raphael had never bothered the bone when it was in the bed with Eddie at night.

Pastor Eugene looked at the bone and at Eddie. He exchanged a long look at Glynis. Soft music started in the background, Pachelbel’s Canon, if Eddie wasn’t mistaken. Lisa would like that. She loved the music, though by now it was probably considered hopelessly old-fashioned.

“How can I marry someone who can’t answer the questions I ask?” Pastor Eugene asked.

“Think of it as a renewal of vows,” Eddie pressed. “She said yes once.” With that he pulled out a form from the bag. It was their original marriage license. He also held Lisa’s death certificate as well as the last driver’s license she’d ever held. She looked too young for him now.

Pastor Eugene nodded slowly, thinking about it. “I guess we can do that.”

Glynis smiled, settling herself in the front row. She made a quick call on her cell phone and a young man in khakis and a pale blue button down shirt walked through a cleverly concealed door behind the pulpit. His dark hair was slightly messed up as if he’d just risen from a nap and his face needed a shave about two days ago.

He nodded at Eddie, smiling a little.

“Is he marrying his dog?” he whispered to Glynis.

Glynis shushed him.

The music came up louder as she played with something on her phone. Technology was really amazing now. Once, Glynis would probably have had to sit at the piano and play or else change out records or maybe CDs to get the effect. Now, just a press of a button. It always amazed Eddie, though he really was too young to be so amazed.

Pastor Eugene went and grabbed a book. Eddie noticed he made some notes. Then he started talking about love and finding each other. He recited that this was a sacrament between two people. And standing before him was Eddie Brimley and his wife Lisa —

“Where’s Lisa?” the young man hissed.

“Shhh.”

—who wanted to renew their vows.

Raphael looked at Eddie as if he had a sense of the momentous, romantic thing that was happening, his large, sad eyes adoring.

Eddie felt his eyes welling with tears. He remembered his first wedding and how he’d cried then, too, tears of joy. Lisa hadn’t cried, though her lips had trembled as she spoke their vows, pledging that she would love him and honor him until death did them part.

If only she hadn’t said “until death do them part,” Eddie thought. He should have demanded the minister take out those words. After all, he knew better. But Lisa had so wanted a traditional ceremony. Eddie hoped that this pledge and these words would right that wrong.

“Because some pledges can’t be undone by death, a love that continues on forever, until the end of the world,” Pastor Eugene finished up saying. “I pronounce you and your lovely wife as holding a continuing sacred pledge.”

Eddie shuddered at the inclusion of “at the end of the world,” but figured that was a long way off, at least he hoped so. He didn’t want anything to break the pledge to Lisa again.

He hugged Lisa’s femur to his chest as the pastor finished pronouncing their continued sacred bond. He wanted to kiss it but worried about what the minister and the two witnesses would say.

While he had hoped for a certificate of marriage, Eddie was unsurprised to find that one wasn’t forthcoming.

He smiled at Raphael before pulling the final item from the white bag. A long, black-handled ritual knife.

He swiped it across the windpipe of the pastor, letting the blood flow over Lisa’s femur.

“Lisa Brimley, once again my wife, vows that were never broken, I call thee forth!” Eddie called.

As a fourth generation necromancer, Eddie was certain of his result, particularly given the gushing fountain of blood from the minister.

Glynis was squeaking in her seat. Eddie turned and slashed her throat and then turned to the young man who was already running out of the chapel, the blood on his blue shirt falling in a red sash, like a macabre wedding accessory.

It was too bad, but Eddie had plenty of blood to bring back his beloved. Now that they were related again, the length of time she had been dead shouldn’t matter at all.

Eddie had always been hampered when bringing back the dead who were more than a couple of weeks gone, unless they were family. Now that Lisa was family once again, she should hear his call and come back to him. He could almost feel her in his arms.

“Lisa Brimley! I call thee back!” Eddie shouted again.

Raphael began to lap up the blood that was puddling on the floor near where the pastor had fallen. Glynis was no longer sitting in the first pew but lying over on her side, eyes wide open in shock at her own death.

Eddie felt a little badly about it, but he wanted to be sure that he’d made enough of a sacrifice to the gods of death to bring back his beloved. Certainly, they, like him, would not want to let her go.

“Lisa Brimley! I call thee back! Come back to your loving husband!” Eddie’s voice was loud enough to echo off the walls of the empty building.

Seconds passed while the blood slowed from Pastor Eugene’s neck. His robes were now mostly red and the stole was barely golden at all. The white pews in the front were splattered with blood as was the altar behind the pastor.

Eddie began to get nervous about the timing. Shouldn’t Lisa have returned by now? He thought back on his necromancer training. The oldest relative he’d called was his great-great-grandfather, the first necromancer in his family. He’d come quickly, but then again, he knew what they were so he would be waiting for a call.

Eddie’s heart was pounding. His hands felt warm and sweating, or maybe it was the blood. He looked around for a place to wipe the knife. Raphael noticed him and whined, backing up from the pool as if he worried that Eddie would slit his throat too.

As if he could do that, after the dog had found Lisa’s femur.

No, he couldn’t fail. Lisa not returning the first time he’d tried the ritual had to be because of the phrase “’til death do us part.” He’d reversed that.

Eddie was going over the words, certain that they’d said that he and Lisa were married until the end of the world, not just death.

Still he waited, looking at the bone, willing it to morph into his beautiful wife, wondering if she would have aged like him or if she would still look as she did when she’d been murdered.

Raphael slinked back to the far end of his leash, hunching over, trying to make himself small. He let out the tiniest of squeaks. The dog was terrified.

Eddie watched him, wondering. He hadn’t been that terrified in the desert when he’d killed the two men he’d hired to go looking for more bones. Maybe something was happening.

Eddie thought he heard a movement behind him.

He whirled, afraid the young man who had run away had called the police and they’d arrived already.

Nothing.

He turned back and a man stood there. He wasn’t very tall, barely taller than Lisa had been, and she’d just been tall enough to tuck her head under Eddie’s chin. He was slightly rounded, with blond hair going to gray and an oval face more suited to a laughing than seriousness. In fact, it appeared he wanted to smile at Eddie but was doing all he could to keep from raising the edges of his lips.

“Eddie Brimley?” he asked.

“Yes.” Eddie said, wondering who this was. He readied his knife, glad he hadn’t dropped it as he’d done in the first ritual.

“I’m Kevin, apprentice God of Death, and I’m here about your request,” the man said.

Eddie frowned. He hadn’t heard of Kevin, apprentice God of Death before. The man seemed a bit old to be an apprentice. And he looked nothing like a god of death, though perhaps that was because he was still an apprentice. Maybe the scythe, the skull-like face, and the heavy black robes came with being promoted.

“What do you mean? I called my wife, Lisa Brimley,” Eddie said.

“That would be Lisa Elaine Watkins Brimley,” Kevin said looking at his palm at something too small for Eddie to see. Did even the gods of death have handheld technology now? And better than that of Earth?

“Yes,” Eddie said.

“Sorry,” Kevin told him. “Lisa has refused your request, just like the last time. Last time, she figured you’d give up but now that you’re re-married, she’s sent me to file for a divorce.”

“What do you mean?” Eddie said. “We loved each other.”

“It says here…” Kevin said, looking down at his hand. Did he blush a little when he did so? “That she’s met someone. She hopes you’ll move on too.”

“And if I don’t want to?” Eddie asked.

“Then you will remain bound to your sacred contract with her femur and you’ll be unable to find someone else. You and her bone will go together to eternity as that’s what you’ve actually married. Lisa was long gone and had no say in this particular ceremony.”

“You mean I killed all those people and she wasn’t even interested in coming back?” Eddie almost yelled. He felt as if Kevin had punched him in the gut, his innards threatening to leak out through loosened bowels and it took all his willpower to hold himself in check. The pain of this betrayal was unbearable.

Kevin shrugged. “Sure made us pretty pleased. Nice deaths, by the way. Good technique with that athame, but I recommend you get out of here before the cops come. Mic, in those cute khaki pants, is halfway down the highway and someone’s bound to stop sooner or later. Or call the cops on him. He is splashed with blood.”

Eddie sighed. “I just can’t believe she’s met someone. Are you sure?”

He felt tears welling, thinking how horrible it was to be separated from Lisa. All that had kept him going was the thought that he’d be reunited with her in the afterlife, if not this one. Still, he’d been hoping for this one. Hope peeked its head up in the form of denial. Surely Kevin was wrong. What kind of a name was Kevin for a god of death either? And only an apprentice?

“Sorry dude. Happens to the best of us,” Kevin said, shrugging.

“What does it mean that I’m bound to her femur?” Eddie knew he was grasping at straws as a way to keep Lisa close, but whatever it took. He wasn’t ready to give her up. How many years had he searched for her remains, hoping to bring her back? How long had he imagined kissing her just one more time?

“You’re bound to the femur. Likely it won’t appreciate another person in your life in that way,” Kevin said.

Eddie had no idea what the apprentice meant. He put the knife back in the bag, picked up the bone, carrying it carefully out to the car. If this was all he had from his beloved, then this was what he would take.

Raphael followed behind him, glancing back where Kevin was no longer standing.

Maybe another time. A better minister. A bigger sacrifice.

Eddie drove into Las Vegas, finding a cheap motel. He’d planned on taking Lisa wherever she wanted to go, envisioning a night on the town in a fancy hotel, but with just the bone, he didn’t care.

The hotel just off the strip in an area that looked more populated with working girls than with tourists was just fine with him. In fact, he’d not had a woman since he’d decided to search for Lisa, keeping himself pure for her.

He set the femur down on one of the two double beds in the run-down room. It was dark with brown carpet that was darker in splotches. Raphael seemed reluctant to touch anything in the room. The smell of old urine and possibly a backed-up toilet should have warned Eddie, but he didn’t care at that point. The worse the accommodations the better. If he wasn’t worthy of Lisa’s love, then he was worthy of nothing.

Eddie left the room and flagged down one of the working girls. Trixie was a pretty thing, or had been a year or two ago when she’d likely started her career. Her dress was too short, showing a little too much of her ass that was beginning to go flat and boney, and her breasts had clearly had surgery at one point because they were perkier than anything else.

When Eddie brought her into the room, Raphael whined. Eddie ignored him.

“What a nice doggie!” the girl said with a false sense of cheer. Clearly she was terrified of Raphael the way she refused to go farther inside.

“Don’t worry. He’s not much of a voyeur,” Eddie said.

Trixie smiled a little uneasily.

Eddie pulled out some cash and handed it to her.

“Well then,” Trixie said, “let’s get to it.” She began to undress.

Eddie pulled her over, guiding her hands to undressing him. He was just getting into it, imagining Lisa with him, loving him, celebrating her return with him when it happened. Trixie had been on top, riding him, making all the right noises that Eddie was too depressed to note were less enthusiastic and more done by rote, when she suddenly tensed and fell forward onto his chest.

For a moment, Eddie was proud that he’d shocked the working girl with his prowess. Probably all that saved-up energy.

And then the bone fell on her head again. Nothing welded it. The femur stood there on its knuckled end, facing Eddie. If it had arms they’d be on the bone’s hips, not that it had those either.

Then it flew up and knocked the girl over the head again. And again.

Blood began to flow.

Eddie backed out of his position, no longer aroused.

He squeaked tiny little squeaks.

The bone moved towards him and hit him over the head.

Eddie tried to cover the back of his neck, worried he’d be found face down on the bed with the bleeding hooker, whose eyes were staring off into the distance, dead.

The bone moved off and stood on one end.

Eddie got it then.

He was married to the bone.

And it expected fidelity.

He sank down onto the bed for a moment. He’d need to change clothes again. Even Vegas was going to notice the blood.

Raphael was whining. The bone leaned over the bed as if to look at the dog. Eddie felt a thrill of fear inside him. He was going to have to find a no-kill shelter for Raphael. Clearly the femur wanted him and him alone.

As he changed clothing to leave the cheap hotel, Eddie figured it was fitting that the bone wanted that kind of devotion. It was the way he had always felt about Lisa. The bone may only have been one small part of his beloved, but it really deserved nothing less.