Chapter Twenty-Four

I take a sip of my bourbon. It stings more than usual.

Or is the sting from Apple’s words?

If she’s telling me the truth—if she was actually there—then she knows what went on between Addie and Braden.

She knows what I’ve been trying to get out of Braden for weeks now.

She fucking knows.

And then my own thoughts haunt me.

Didn’t I just promise myself, after talking to Braden this afternoon, that I’d give him the space he seems to need to tell me everything?

On his terms?

In his own time?

If I get the story from Apple, I’m breaking my silent promise to Braden.

Damn, though. She’s here. Now. Ready to tell me what I’m dying to know.

Ready to tell me…

I almost lost Braden after Betsy told me what she knew. Then I did lose him because I couldn’t tell him why the neck binding was so important to me. But he loves me. He made love to me. And I love him more than anything.

I still haven’t quite figured myself out, but I’m on my way. It has to do with punishment. Dire punishment that I feel I deserve. Rosa is right.

Braden is right.

Braden means everything to me, and if he finds out I got his story from someone else, he may never forgive me.

Right now, he and I have a chance. I’m well on the way to being able to answer his question, and he’s not pushing me for information.

That’s why I promised not to push him, either.

If I let Apple give me her scoop, I’m betraying him.

“You were there,” I echo her words.

“I was.” She takes another sip and winces. “Soda water tastes like shit, but it’s color and preservative free.”

“You don’t drink?”

She shakes her head. “Not since I was a kid. I’m sure you’ve heard all about the parties Addie and I used to throw.”

“Not really.” Just the one where Braden and Ben showed up, and Addie became obsessed with Braden.

“Yeah, they were legendary. Once I got into Zen Buddhism, I stopped all the alcohol and drugs and began treating my body like the temple it is.”

“I see.” Except treating the body like a temple apparently doesn’t negate ink and piercings. But hey, all God’s children…

“Anyway,” she says, “the whole thing with Addie and Braden started at one of our parties. The folks were out of town, and Add and I had just finished high school.”

He deserves the same respect he’s granting you, says the little angel on my shoulder.

She’s willing to spill everything, chants the devil on the other side. You want to know. You know you want to know. It’s been killing you.

“Anyway, that’s how it started. I’m not sure how, but Braden and Ben Black ended up at one of our parties.”

I hold up my hand. I can’t do this to Braden. “Stop. Please.”

“Why? You want to know, right? Of course you already know how incredible looking they both are, so they were a big hit.”

“A couple guys from South Boston?”

“Yeah, weird, right? But somehow they found out about our shindig, and they showed up. Addie and I were barely eighteen, and we were intent on slumming it a little that summer. Braden and Ben Black were the perfect candidates.”

“How did she and—”

He deserves the same respect he’s granting you, says the little angel on my shoulder.

She’s willing to spill everything, chants the devil. Everything.

I take another sip of bourbon. “ “I can’t listen to any more.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“I wish I were, but I made a promise to myself that I’d let Braden tell me this stuff when he was ready.”

“He won’t be ready,” Apple says. “Ever.”

“How do you know that?”

She doesn’t reply. Just takes another sip of the soda water she hates. Then, “I’m trying to help you.”

“I know, and I appreciate it. I really do.”

“Tell you what.” She finishes her soda water. “I’ll take you home. You have my number. If you change your mind, I’m here.”

“Why do you care about telling me this stuff?”

“I already told you. The enemy of my enemy, sweetheart.”

“Addie and I aren’t enemies.”

“You may not think so. She does.”

“Why? I’ll never have her following.”

“Doesn’t matter. You have something else she wants. Something she’s always wanted and could never have.”

“Braden?”

“Partially, yes.”

“Braden and I aren’t even together right now, so I no longer have him.”

“He’s really into you, though,” Apple says. “And Addie knows it.”