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Pali dropped off Norah and Cassie at the beach house. The housekeeper greeted them at the door and pointed to a pu-pu platter of luscious-looking hors d’oeuvres atop the sparkling glass and wrought iron table on the porch, overlooking the crashing waves of Kailua beach. Norah dropped down onto a comfortable chair, and Cassie lay on a chaise longue as their Mai Tais were delivered.
Norah suspected Cassie was wired tight so she figured she would help her to loosen up. She smiled at her. “What’s your analysis?”
Cassie had been holding back her frustration. It reminded her of her explosions with Bill when he was alive. She felt her stress level skyrocket and then sensed that the dam was ready to burst. She was about to find herself out of control. “These people are crazy. Kapono is on a wild goose chase. He is playing with fire. The FBI and the CIA will be after him—and then us if we keep our wagon hitched to this star.” Cassie felt the blood rush to her face. She flapped her arms in a grotesque and contorted spasm. She made a motion with her hand as if she were pushing the experience away. Her face became redder and redder. She let out a torrent of piercing squeals that penetrated the air and cascaded into screaming, “Ooooph...what the fuck does this wild goose chase have to do with reincarnation? I can’t take this any longer. Are you crazy? This is no good...no good. I want out. You will ruin my reputation—and my life!”
Norah felt as if she had been hit with a round of bullets and braced her body to repel the onslaught. She did not want to deal with the intensity of Cassie’s stored-up fury. Trying to defuse Cassie’s wrath, she spoke softly, acknowledging that Cassie had a point. How was all this related? She realized what a saint Bill must have been to deal with these unexpected outbursts.
Cassie de-escalated. “This reincarnation stupidity that you’re so ready to believe is shoving us into a fucking political quagmire,” she squawked.
Norah calmly replied, “You know that the personal is political. Isn’t that a basic for feminist therapy—that counseling involves examining cultural, societal, and political processes to determine how to solve personal issues?”
Cassie resumed yelling, “Do not try to humor me. Fuck you. You are just a bitch. Do not tell me how...” then stopped abruptly. Embarrassed by her own behavior, she abruptly jumped up and ran out of the room, leaving Norah gaping after her.
Norah pondered whether Cassie might be right. Did her own hopes to survive after death color her thinking about reincarnation? Maybe, but she wanted to believe in reincarnation because she was a typical American death denier who could not face the idea that there was nothing beyond this life. Honest discussion about death was anathema. Try discussing the end of life at any gathering, and your listeners will shush you and tell you that you will live until you’re 120. And if you don’t change the subject, people drift away from you. Aging women and men used plastic surgeries and Botox to mask any obvious reminders of inevitable growing old. Religions had a narrative for the afterlife: total denial and keep on living in a happy haven—if you play the game right. The lack of deep and substantive exploration stifled Norah.
Given such death denial, Norah asked herself why so many Westerners found it unfathomable to believe that sentient beings recycle after dying. She had been brought up Catholic, which meant disavowing any belief in reincarnation because it was heretical. Yet, after age sixteen she doubted the God of Christian religions was real. Stories about the old man in the sky did not meet scientific scrutiny.
Larry flashed through her mind. He had been her partner for so many years; would they meet again? Where did the cycle of magnetic draw and then revulsion that they had felt toward one another come from? Was this sequence an artifact of prior lives? Life with Larry had been grueling. Their unhappy relationship had taken its toll on her. She did not want a fractious future life so she tried to avoid it. In retrospect, she wondered how much she had contributed to the misery in the marriage. She was ashamed to admit that life was so much better after Larry died. Relief was an antidote to misery.
Tussling with Cassie’s reluctance to open her mind to exploring the possibility of an afterlife was like scuffling with Larry. She didn’t want to repeat this cycle with Cassie. Was it hard-core skepticism? Or was it fear of the unknown? An hour passed. Norah approached the door to Cassie’s bedroom and knocked.
“Can we talk?” asked Norah.
Cassie opened the door. “Okay. I’m calmer. Let’s discuss this over a glass of wine.”
They sat on the veranda overlooking the ocean. “I’m so worried about our involvement in this project. I’m afraid we’ll be thought of as flakes and fools. Should we be associated with such nonsense? I respect and care about you, but perhaps you need to count me out of this one,” said Cassie.
Norah said, “Since when did you become a scaredy cat? Can you just leave our project hanging? How about taking a wait-and-see attitude until we find out what’s really going on?”
“I know the truth. There’s nothing after we die. Bill left me because an aneurysm in his heart blew. There is no mystery, no enigma, no inscrutability. His poor eating habits and lack of exercise brought about his demise. Period. End of story. Bill is no more. I will never see him again. I have told you already I can no longer follow you on this wild goose chase.”
Norah felt as if Cassie had gouged her with a spear. “I’m sorry you feel so put out and negatively passionate about it. Is there anything I can do to help you hang on for a little longer? Antonio is eager to support us in this project—whatever happens. Is there any way I can convince you to carry on with this just a teeny, teeny bit longer?”
Norah’s plan seemed to be working. Playing Bill was calming Cassie down. As Cassie noted desperation in Norah’s eyes, she did not want to hurt her. She also remembered she needed a friend more than ever since she was alone and lonely, but she knew it was time to be straightforward. “Norah, let me be candid, please. I don’t care about the money from Antonio. Is it possible you are blinded by the benefits and the money involved in this project? Consciously, you believe you are searching for the truth. But you’re strapped for cash. I’m not. That may be the difference. Are you losing your scientific objectivity? It’s not intentional, I know. It can happen to the best scientific investigators. Just think it over. I have never been the right person for this job. I’m glad we’re almost at the end of our work. But all right, if it means that much to you, I’ll finish exploring Antonio’s story with you in the next few days and help you write the report that is due next week. However, you have to be the one to deliver it. I have said all I have to say. I see no evidence to convince me that reincarnation is real. I’m sorry. I’m also tired and want to go to bed. Can I say goodnight now without upsetting you?” Norah nodded in the affirmative as Cassie slowly went inside to her bedroom.
Feelings of emptiness enveloped Norah. Tears streamed down her face. The road would be lonely without Cassie on the journey with her. Her soul searching told her that Cassie was wrong about the money blinding her. Sure, the money was a dream come true, but in her very bones she saw the project as a green light, an almost mystical opportunity to indulge her intuitive side to explore the supernatural and other ways of knowing the truth. Norah’s mood lifted. She told herself she would not give up on Cassie. This was a passing argument. They still had a few days together in Hawaii. She’d approach Cassie again after she had cooled off. But, at the moment, Norah knew she was on her own to discuss the results with Antonio and Alicia. The rest of the week wouldn’t be easy, and it would be a long ride home.
Coming to Conclusions
At 5 p.m., Norah arrived at Antonio’s apartment. Alicia opened the door and smiled. “Welcome back! This is the day.”
Norah felt defensive. “Cassie and I came to very different conclusions. We decided it would be best to give you and Antonio separate reports. I have hers in writing, and I’ll discuss mine with you.”
Alicia seemed unfazed. “Sure. I appreciate your honesty and your ability to speak your own truths. Your differing views will create more questions and discussion and probing. That could be good.”
Antonio dashed into the room. “Well, what did you conclude?”
“Not only do I have my own interpretation,” explained Norah, “but I consulted with experts preeminent in research into reincarnation. The results of the findings are complicated.”
Antonio grabbed Alicia’s hand and let out a hearty chuckle. “Complicated! You are off to a good start.” Alicia and Norah responded with a giggle and soon all three of them were laughing so hard tears were rolling down their cheeks.
“And no doubt Cassie, whose major contribution was to add skepticism to the nth degree, is so doubtful she couldn’t really participate in a decisive report. So you’re here on your own?”
“Oh, yes,” Norah breathed a sigh of relief. “Cassie’s focus has become rather narrow. And she’s angry at me for encouraging her to examine this phenomenon, which she called ‘research lunacy.’ But she is a valuable asset to the project. Her skepticism keeps me on my toes. However, I didn’t succumb to her pressure.”
Alicia complimented Norah, “We knew you were the true scientist. We have the utmost confidence in you.”
Norah blushed and felt more comfortable. It was as if the tension she had been feeling was being peeled off layer by layer.
“Let’s hear it,” said Antonio.
Norah launched into her report. “The experts on reincarnation critiqued my findings. They use solid, rational methods of investigation. I have consulted them whenever I needed advice and it helped me carry out our project as objectively as possible. They know Westerners can be skeptical about the topic of reincarnation. But also consider that polls show that around 25% of Americans do believe in the possibility of reincarnation.[19]
“Now, let’s look at your story, Antonio. We begin by picking apart the reasons not to believe what you recollect. That allows us to be as skeptical as possible. I found that your story is difficult to corroborate because there are no living witnesses. It’s possible that your information about your previous personality came from something other than reincarnation. Here is where we consider all sources, so don’t take anything personally.”
“Agreed,” replied Antonio.
“Here are some alternatives. You could be lying. You could have read about it. You may have heard about it from some other person or persons. You can have what the experts call cryptomnesia, which means you really forgot where the information came from; it’s an honest mistake that people make. They attribute their memories to an incorrect source—in this case, yourself. Or you could even be telepathic or clairvoyant. In the end, we’re left with the uncertainty we all wanted to clear up. With that said, let’s thrash out some ideas that support your story.”
Norah cleared her throat and continued. “Your stories that you tell us about your early experience follow the pattern reported by children who claim they are reincarnated. It begins with a young child talking about his or her current memories of a past family. Here’s how it proceeds. It is a big shakeup for the parents and opens up a mixed bag of emotions. American parents tend to respond with shock and confusion. They may feel rejected by their own kid. Or they worry that their child has a mental health problem. Or they may believe their child is highly creative and making up a story. They may even silence the child. In any case, they’re apt to deny or ignore their kid’s claim. They tend to veer away from exploring the possibility that the story could be true. As a result, the kid picks up these negative messages and may feel ashamed, afraid, or embarrassed and stops speaking about the experience in order to avoid parental disapproval or anger. Antonio, your description of how your mother reacted to your claims is typical. She stopped you dead in your tracks. No more discussion for young Antonio. But you still had the memories in your head and you still had to deal with them.”
Antonio nodded and smiled. Norah had struck a chord with him.
“If a family lives in a culture that accepts reincarnation, parents are more willing to explore the child’s story and even talk about it with others. They may ask experts to help them investigate. Some research teams have accumulated a number of convincing cases.[20] For example, a family wants to know the truth. They ask for help from the researchers. A professional researcher visits the family to explore the child’s story. And these experts have found a number of cases in which the facts do support the child’s claims. For example, if Mary is the only living person who knows that her great-grandfather buried his wedding ring in the back yard after his wife died, and Mary’s son, the so-called reincarnate, tells Mary about this, she is taken aback. How could a young child know this except through the memories he tells Mary about—watching from his window one spring day as a man dug a hole, pulled a gold ring off his finger, then threw it in the hole and covered it up with dirt, all the while crying. This would be evidence that the child’s memories are real. Unfortunately, we could not confirm facts in your case as soon as you remembered them. And since your mom is dead, we can’t ask her if she remembers that you told her you had lived before. We can’t go back in time.”
“This makes sense,” Antonio interjected. “I get it. It’s an interesting approach to studying this field.”
“Absolutely. Scientifically minded, serious reincarnation researchers use the tools of the historian, the lawyer, and the psychologist. In your case, to accept the claim that you lived as Maleko, we must assume that you knew nothing from any outside source about the Hawaiian life and politics that took place more than a century ago. You never read or heard about it. We have to trust you on that. So we can verify that the personal information you gave us about the events you participated in in Hawaii comes from your personal experience, we corroborated it by delving into the history. Your version of your experience with the overthrow and the characters involved was perfectly consistent with documented historical information. Cassie and I compared what you told us with facts that we were able to track down and unearth while we were in Hawaii.
“What is particularly convincing evidence is the details you reported about the lives of Kealaula and Mark...Maleko. The trajectory of their lives is not common knowledge. We searched in the archives of the Department of Health and did find a death record listed for Maleko in 1896. The record verifies that a male named Maleko died on the day you said he...you...did. Only the names, the date of death, and the district of Honolulu are included. But there’s no record of Kealaula’s death. And there is no clear mention of either of them in any official Kingdom of Hawaii documents. But we did find some references in a letter from Queen Lili’u. She writes about her attendance at a wedding for two beloved young people at the time you claimed you were married. Now, just because there are no official records about you does not mean they don’t exist. It was confirmed loudly and clearly that Lili’u’s foes stole, destroyed, and even tinkered with many of her writings and diaries. It’s difficult to tell if Lili’u wrote more about her relationship with your past personality and the person you claim to be your wife, Kealaula. This is not a lot of evidence, but it is suggestive that your claims could be true.
“Your profile also differs from those who claim to have lived an earlier life in that most children who remember a previous life forget the memories when they reach adulthood. In your case, the memories became more numerous and stronger. Another point is that the interval between Maleko’s death and your rebirth is much longer than is typical in these cases. So, while Cassie and I cannot categorically prove you were reincarnated, the information we have found does support the idea that something has happened in your life that is ‘different’ and seems significant. Could there be some unexplained but real forces at work? We can only wonder.”
Norah handed the thick spiral-bound report to Antonio, who embraced it eagerly.
“Cassie and I have done what we can. We have completed the assignment. Our work is now over.” Norah felt so much sadness that her heart hurt as she acknowledged that her work was over. She had come to feel as if Alicia and Antonio and Cassie and herself were a professional family. Parting from them was sorrowful. She told herself to be appreciative of the time they had shared.
Antonio smiled as he flipped through the 200-page document. “I hope your job is not finished. I hope it’s just beginning. Alicia and I would be honored if you and Cassie would stay on as consultants. We recognize how ambivalent Cassie is, but we want her to keep on as a member of the team. I’ll let you guide the decision making.”
Norah felt her blood rush to her face. Continuing this work would be heaven. She had grown to love studying the possibilities of the supernatural, and unlimited funding made her life idyllic. Norah eagerly said yes to Antonio, jubilant over the realization that they had bonded and were “ohana.”
“Let’s discuss our revamped strategic plan, Norah,” said Antonio. “Your report is our inauguration into a grand project. Alicia and I will dedicate the next month or so to seek out meaning in all of this and determine what role we should play. In the United States, the supernatural is often dismissed as an amusing fiction best left to fools to examine. If you think you were fearful of ridicule from your academic colleagues, just wait. Touting these topics will make me and Alicia the laughingstocks of the business world. But—money is power, and we have plenty of that to encourage people to listen, even if they are smirking behind our backs.
“I’m convinced I lived previously as Maleko. I know it deep down inside. But I need to understand what value my knowing about my prior life might have. Do the memories of prior lives and loves push us forward? And when memories come in dribs and drabs, how are people supposed to cope? Are we evolving our consciousness? Are we headed toward the light or the dark? And if we ignore these memories, if we ignore our inner voice about them, what happens?”
Antonio took Alicia’s hand. “We’ll travel to Hawaii and immerse ourselves in its culture to become more aware of all of this. We want to discover what we need to know to pull this mystery together—if that’s possible.
“And this is only the gateway to a more ambitious plan that Alicia and I have been tossing around,” he said to Norah. “We’ll begin planning when we return.” Antonio smiled at Norah conspiratorially. “In the meantime,” he continued, “take a break but keep on the lookout for any interesting information you can share with us. And let’s hope Cassie makes up her mind to commit to us full force. We will meet up again in a month or so with a plan.”