Follow the Holy Spirit
IF YOU ARRIVE at the conclusion that you need emotional healing, and that many of the problems you face are a result of bad roots from the past, you may become anxious to get rid of those roots of the problem so you can be made well. That is understandable, but it is important to allow the Holy Spirit to lead, guide, and direct you in that healing process.
God has already sent Jesus Christ to come to earth and purchase your complete healing. Once that was accomplished, He sent His Holy Spirit to administer to you what Jesus bought by His blood.
Jesus told His disciples that it was better for them that He go away to be with the Father, because if He did not go, the Comforter could not come (see John 16:7). The Comforter is the Holy Spirit. In The Amplified Bible version of this verse Jesus calls the Holy Spirit our Counselor, Helper, Advocate, Intercessor, Strengthener, and Standby. During your recovery process, you will need to experience every facet of the Holy Spirit’s ministry.
SEEK ONLY GODLY COUNSEL
Don’t run around seeking counsel from just anyone. Pray first, asking the Lord whether it is His will that you go to another human being for counsel, or whether He desires to counsel you Himself.
In my own life I have had many, many problems, yet I never went to anyone else for counsel with the exception of one time. On this occasion I visited a lady in ministry who had been abused herself. I do not mean to discredit her, but she really was not able to help me. It was not her fault; she simply was not anointed by the Lord to do so.
God is not obligated to anoint what He does not initiate. So often people run to others without following the guidance and leadership of the Holy Spirit, and it never bears good, lasting fruit. When you are in trouble, go to the throne before you go to the phone.
I do not mean to suggest that it is wrong to seek counsel. I am just suggesting that you pray and allow the Lord to lead and guide you through the Holy Spirit. Let Him choose the right counselor for you. Just because a person has been through what you are going through, or is a close personal friend, does not mean that individual is the right counselor for you. So I repeat, pray!
I am definitely not saying that you should not seek counsel just because I didn’t. We all have different personalities. I happen to have a strong, determined, self-disciplined, goal- oriented personality. These traits helped me to keep moving toward my objective, which was emotional wholeness. Others may need someone to help them along a bit, someone to assist them in setting goals for themselves and to keep striving toward those goals.
It is vital to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is the best Counselor. Either He will help you directly, or He will guide you to someone through whom He can minister to you. In either case, you should ultimately look to Him for your help. Even the counsel that other people may offer you will not become rhema (a personal revelation from God) to you without the help of the Holy Spirit.
It is also important to realize that God has different calls on our lives. Since He has called me to teach His Word, it was better for me to receive the truth I needed directly from Him. However, that is not a rule for everyone.
THE MINISTRY OF THE HOLY SPIRIT
Another reason the ministry of the Holy Spirit is so important is found in John 16:8 in which Jesus says that it is the Holy Spirit Who convicts and convinces of sin and of righteousness.
Most people who have been abused are shame-based individuals. (The topic of shame will be discussed in detail in a later chapter.) They feel bad about themselves. They do not like themselves; therefore, they experience a lot of guilt and condemnation.
It is the devil who brings condemnation; the Holy Spirit brings conviction. (There is a difference. I welcome conviction, but I resist condemnation—and so should you.) Only the Holy Spirit, through the Word of God and His power to change, can convince a shame-based person that he has been made righteous through the shed blood of Jesus Christ: “For our sake He made Christ [virtually] to be sin Who knew no sin, so that in and through Him we might become [endued with, viewed as being in, and examples of] the righteousness of God [what we ought to be, approved and acceptable and in right relationship with Him, by His goodness]” (2 Corinthians 5:21).
Jesus referred to the Holy Spirit as the Spirit of Truth and assured us that He will guide us into all the Truth—the whole, full Truth (see John 16:13). Jesus also said that the Holy Spirit will prompt our memory: “But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you” (John 14:26). Both of these aspects of the ministry of the Spirit are major areas of assistance for those who are in recovery from abuse. Such people must get out of their denial and face the truth. There may be things they have forgotten because they are too painful to remember, things that will have to be recalled and faced during the healing process.
If the person in charge of the recovery is not led by the Spirit, he sometimes can take the abused person through the process too quickly. If too accelerated, it can become more painful than the person can handle.
I remember a girl who once came to me in a prayer line. She was very upset and extremely emotional, almost panic-stricken. She began to relate to me that every week when she went to visit her counselor, it was so painful that it was almost more than she could bear. In her anxiety, I heard her say several times, “It is just too much; it hurts so bad, I cannot stand it.”
At the time she was speaking, I was praying and asking the Lord to help me so I could help her. I was actually concerned that she might become hysterical right there at the altar. Suddenly I received an answer from the Lord. I felt that probably her counselor was not sensitive to the Spirit and that she was having this young woman face issues so fast that her mind and her emotional system were unable to handle it all.
When I said to the girl, “Listen to me, I think I know what the problem is,” she quieted down long enough for me to share what God was saying. As she listened, she immediately began to get some relief. She agreed that what I was describing was exactly what was happening.
I shared with her that during my own healing process, the Holy Spirit led me to many different resources for guidance. The first was a book that my husband suggested I read. It was the testimony of a woman who had been abused as a child. Until that time, I did not think that any of my problems were a result of my past.
That book was so difficult for me to read. When I came to the part in which the woman began describing in detail how her stepfather had sexually abused her, the memories, pain, anger, and rage began rushing up in me from somewhere deep inside. I threw that book on the floor and loudly exclaimed, “I will not read this!”
Just then I heard the Holy Spirit reply, “It is time.”
I had been attempting to walk with God for several years when this event took place. Why hadn’t He led me to something that could have helped me sooner? The answer is because it was not time! The Holy Spirit knows precisely the right timing in our lives. I always say, “Only the Spirit knows when you are ready for what.” In other words, the Spirit of the Lord is the only One Who knows what it will take to help you, and when you are ready to receive that help.
It may come in the form of a book, a certain speaker, or a friend who says just what you need to hear at the moment. Or it may come through a personal testimony, or even a direct dealing from the Lord Himself. Today may be God’s appointed time for you as you are reading this book. If so, God will use it in some area in which you are hurting at the present. It may be the beginning of your recovery, the next step in that process, or even the finishing touch in your long struggle for wholeness.
Many people who come to me for prayer for emotional healing are concerned and even distraught because there are portions of their childhood that they cannot recall. They have been on what I call “digging expeditions,” trying to unearth forgotten memories so they can face them, deal with them, and get them out of their system. I tell such people that there are still portions of my own past that I cannot recall. Actually, much of my childhood seems to be filled with blank pages.
I remind people that the Holy Spirit leads us into all truth and is able to bring many things to our remembrance. But we must allow Him to do the leading in this sensitive area. I have put Him in charge of my memory. I truly believe that if remembering something from my past is going to help me, then I will recall it. If it will not help me, is unnecessary, or would even be harmful for me to remember, then I am thankful that I cannot recall it. I believe that sometimes what we do not know cannot hurt us.
Obviously, this is not always the case. Many times people experience great relief by recalling some traumatic event, dealing with it, and then getting on with their lives. Sometimes, if memories have been shut out on purpose and suppressed deep within the recesses of the mind, they will poison the entire system. In that case, the memories must be exposed before wholeness can be established. Yet, here again, it is important to remember that if this process is not done with the leadership and guidance of the Holy Spirit, it can be harmful and actually cause even more damage to already wounded emotions.
The Holy Spirit is gentle, tender, considerate, kind, loving, and patient. Yet, He is also powerful and mighty and able to do what people can never do on their own. The psalmist says, “EXCEPT THE Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; except the Lord keeps the city, the watchman wakes but in vain” (Psalm 127:1). I spent many years of my life waking and laboring in vain. I encourage you not to waste the most precious years of your life trying to “do it yourself.” Seek God and His plan for your recovery. He will lead you one step at a time, and you will be transformed “from glory to glory” (see 2 Corinthians 3:18 KJV).