It was supposed to be my quiet weekend all to myself. Everyone was going to be gone. Kai and the others were all going to Chicago to enjoy the rare three-day weekend we had. I was okay with them all being gone, though. I was still mildly upset with Kai. I wasn’t sure I could even call it being upset. I was more like jealous. Kai had met Quinn’s mom. Not only that, she’d gotten along with her and even had plans to go to lunch with her. I missed Marie. She had been almost a mother to me after I lost my own. I loved her, but I just couldn’t go see her after Quinn left. I thought about her frequently that first year of college. I would come home over breaks and often get to the end of her driveway before I’d talk myself out of it. Then they moved, and I never got the chance to renew my friendship with her.
I tried to not let it bother me when I agreed to go to Kerri’s for a games night. I even resigned myself to partnering with Quinn. The others were starting to complain about not being partners with their loves. The funny thing was that together as partners we dominated about any game they threw at us. Any game except Hand and Foot. We had yet to win even a round at that one. During every round dumbass Quinn would attempt to keep a book of red threes. We never, never, closed them. We never even came close to closing them. The last time Reed was giving him crap about it, Quinn just winked at me and stated that one of these times his luck would change. I’m not sure if that was directed at me or not, but the wink made me sigh inside. Everything after that was just a blur. It all just seemed like a dream. I remembered the idea of what happened, but I couldn’t quite recall the details. The plus side of not remembering the details was that I didn’t feel like I was completely lying to Beau about what I had done that night. I just told him I had been to Kerri’s for games night.
Beau was out of town again, possibly in Texas. I wasn’t sure. He was gone all week and didn’t expect to be back anytime soon. I missed him but I was so happy to have the time to myself without anyone around. I needed to get some homework done. I also planned to give my apartment a thorough cleaning. I hoped to see Jason at some point during the weekend, too. I missed him and I still needed to tell him about Quinn.
Friday night I came across a weekend-long marathon of my favorite TV show. It had been a few years since I had seen it, and decided to sit up and reacquaint myself with it. It was one I had watched all the time with Quinn. In fact I hadn’t ever seen the last season of it or any of the reruns when it went into syndication because it was just too painful. Friday night, though, I decided enough was enough. I watched it until I fell asleep on the couch.
Saturday morning, I was startled awake by a particularly loud crack of thunder. We were under a severe storm watch for most of the weekend, another reason I think Kai wanted out of town. She hated storms, and always wanted out of town when we were in for a big one. As my heart calmed back down I looked around the living room, trying to determine what time it was. The sky was dark from the storm, so I couldn’t tell. The TV was on, still playing the same show. I recognized this episode as one that was really good. I waited for the commercial to go to the bathroom and check the time. It was just after nine. I figured I probably wouldn’t get back to sleep for the day.
I grabbed a pop and headed back to finish the episode. I curled up on the couch under my favorite soft pink blanket. It was old. It had been on my bed in since I was little. It was my security blanket. Many days I’d spent cocooned in its cozy warmth. It had seen me through both the loss of my mom and Quinn. It was one of the few reminders of Quinn that I kept around. We snuggled under this very blanket several times while we watched TV or movies. I tried to not let myself dwell on that thought again.
I was drawn into the story on TV. It was one of the more complex mysteries. While I could remember who’d done it, I couldn’t remember how it was solved. I figured there were about ten minutes left of it when someone knocked on my door. I smiled widely with the thought that Beau got into town earlier than he’d planned and had come to surprise me. I imagined us curled up on the couch together, watching the rest of the marathon. I wondered if he ever watched it. I ran my fingers though my hair, I regretted not having brushed it while I was in the bathroom. I looked down at my clothes. I still had on my black yoga pants and an old sweatshirt of Kelly’s that I’d cut the neck and sleeves off of. It wasn’t what I normally wore when Beau was over here with me. I shrugged and figured it wouldn’t be on long anyway.
I briefly entertained the thought of answering the door naked. Kerri would be proud of me doing something so daring. Of course I couldn’t do that. If I tried that, it would be the landlord or something. I heard some serious coughing coming from the other side of the door. I opened the door to find a hacking mess under a red plaid blanket. I furrowed my brow trying to make out who was under it. The coughing stopped and Quinn turned around. He was pale, and his eyes were kind of glassy. I could hear his every snuffled breath. He looked and sounded miserable.
“Quinn? Are you okay?” Obviously he wasn’t. Wait, what is he doing here? He’s supposed to be in Chicago. I answered my own question with, “Are you sick?” No, he’s coughing up a hairball. I mentally kicked myself for that stupid question.
“Sylvia,” his voice was so raspy that even I cringed at it. “I’m very sorry to bother you, but with everyone gone I didn’t know who else to ask.” He coughed into the side of his arm again.
“What do you need?” I was surprised that he was actually at my door. I had a vague recollection of Quinn walking me to my door after games night, but I didn’t know if that had really happened. I wasn’t sure if I should ask him in, but he looked like he could collapse at any moment. “Come in here,” I urged as I ushered him in.
He took a couple steps and stopped to cough again. “I just wanted to know if you had some cough medicine. I coughed all night and I just really need to sleep this cold away.” His voice just sounded raw.
“Oh, that sucks. Yeah, I have some. Sit down while I get it.” I went back to the bathroom to look in the medicine cabinet. I had a whole bottle of Nyquil. I quickly brushed my hair while I had the chance. I could hear him coughing the whole time I was in there. The poor guy. He sounded really bad. I knew from experience that Quinn rarely got sick, but when he did it was bad.
I brought the Nyquil out to him and paused on the way. He was sitting on my couch with his head thrown over the back of it. He looked so vulnerable like that. My heart ached. I wanted to go over and run my fingers through his uncharacteristically limp hair and just comfort him. He turned his head and saw me and gave me a weak lopsided grin.
“Ah, you’re an angel.” I smiled back and walked towards him. “Really, Sylvia. I can’t thank you enough for this.”
As he stood he pulled the blanket tighter around him. I realized then that he was shivering. I kept it fairly warm in my place, so I knew it couldn’t have been that. He had to have had the chills. I was really worried then. “Quinn, I don’t think you should be alone. Have you called Marie?” Surely his mom would come if he was sick.
He chuckled a little but it turned into a cough. “I’m a big boy now. I don’t need my mommy to come running for just a little cold. I just need some cough syrup and some sleep. Besides that, I wouldn’t want her out in this storm.” I had to agree with that. The thunder and lightning hadn’t let up at all. I wouldn’t have wanted that either.
That was when I made a snap decision that I knew I would regret later, but the words were out of my mouth before I could stop it. “Well, I’m here. I could stay with you awhile.” His chocolate eyes went wide in complete shock.
“What?”
“I mean, you know, just sit with you to make sure you’re okay and all.” I stumbled over the words with embarrassment. I was looking down at my foot twisting against the carpet. He didn’t say anything, so I looked up at him. He stared at me with a mix of consternation and what I thought could be relief. I don’t know why, but I quickly added, “I mean I’m not doing anything and, well, you really shouldn’t be alone.” What I wanted to do was get him a hot cup of tea with honey and lemon for his poor throat.
“If you want to. But really, you don’t have to. I would be boring company. I will probably just take this and sleep.” He held up the Nyquil bottle I had given him.
“That’s okay; I’ll just bring my work with me. I planned to get caught up on it this weekend.” I suddenly looked forward to staying with him. Really, it would be okay. He’d likely sleep, and I could get my work done. It would be a win-win situation for both of us.
“Um, okay. Thanks.” He turned and headed to the door.
“Give me a couple minutes,” I called out to him. I wanted to get a few things together. He stopped to wait for me, leaning against the door. He looked so awful. I had just seen him the previous morning and he didn’t look that bad. His normally uncontrollable hair was lying limply across his forehead. He was scruffy like he hadn’t shaved in a couple days. He was even paler than I was, yet he had bright red cheeks, signaling a fever. What bothered me most, though, were his lifeless eyes behind his glasses. I hadn’t seen him with glasses on since he’d come back. He always had his contacts in.
I hurried back to my kitchen and grabbed the ingredients for the tea. My books and laptop were all still in my bag, so I didn’t have to get anything else together. I added the stuff from the kitchen and threw the strap over my shoulder. “Okay, I’m ready,” I said as I turned my TV off and picked up my keys. I followed him out the door, and locked it behind me.
I had never seen the inside of his apartment. I knew it was a mirror opposite of mine: L-shaped living room, with a small dining area in the hook of the L. I knew the kitchen was to the right of the dining nook, and further down the hall that ran between the two would be a bathroom on the right and his bedroom at the end. I just didn’t expect it to be decorated so simply. I had seen Marie’s work before and figured she would have it a veritable showplace.
I took my time looking all around. I was astonished at the lack of items in the room. The walls were painted a coffee color but were completely bare. He had a large black leather sofa in the middle of the room. It was facing a metal and glass entertainment center. There was a large TV and speaker system on it. I rolled my eyes. Of course Quinn would have a sweet set up. He’d always liked his electronics. The TV was on what looked to be CNN. There was a laptop sitting on top of a coffee table that matched the entertainment center. The table was covered with used Kleenex. I wrinkled my noise and glanced at Quinn, who was watching me intently. I pointed at the mess on the table.
“You need to clean up your own messes, though. I’m not a nursemaid.”
Quinn smiled, “Right away. Anything else?” I shook my head.
He headed to the kitchen; I followed him, telling him that I was going to make him some tea. I put my bag on the dining table and got out what I needed. He reached into the cupboard under the sink and came up with a plastic bag. I watched as he set it on the counter and read the directions on the Nyquil bottle. He pulled out a shot glass and poured himself a shot’s worth of the nasty green liquid. I wanted to gag for him. I knew how bad that stuff tasted. He slammed it back quickly, as if it were a shot. He winced and shook his head.
“I hate that stuff. It tastes like black licorice. I can’t stand that, either.” He filled a glass of water from the fridge. The apartments came with appliances but none of them had fancy fridges like his. Kai and Kerri both replaced theirs for bigger ones like this that had built in water and ice dispensers. I still had the plain old white one with a burned out light bulb.
I stood in the doorway of the kitchen, waiting for him to leave. These kitchens were small, and I didn’t want to accidentally bump into him while I made the tea. “Why don’t you go lay down? I’ll bring you the tea when it’s ready.”
Quinn nodded and thanked me again. I was relieved when he went to the couch instead of his room. I didn’t want bring him anything in his bed. I went about getting the tea ready. I chose the right cupboard on the first pick. I smiled at the fact that he had his dishes in the same location I did. I filled a cup for him and decided to make one for myself, too. I put them both in the microwave and went back to the dining table to wait for the water to heat up.
Quinn had cleaned up the Kleenex mess. He lay on the couch, still wrapped up in the blanket, and flipped through the channels. I unpacked my bag, setting all the books on the table. I had to write an in depth analysis comparing and contrasting the works of the Bronte sisters. I knew all the works well, so I didn’t expect it to be hard -- just time consuming.
The timer on the microwave went off, so I went back in and added the honey and lemon to Quinn’s cup. I set mine on the table and brought his over to him. He was coughing again and I really hoped it would help. He truly did look exhausted. He was still flipping through channels. What is it with guys and remotes? Why can’t they just find a channel and leave it there? He paused long enough to take the cup from me and give me an appreciative grin.
“Drink that. It should help your throat. Then try to get some sleep. I’ll just be right over there doing some work.” I pointed to the table. “Do you mind if I plug my laptop in? I should be able to connect to my network from here.”
“I don’t care. You do what you need to. If you can’t get a connection let me know and you can log into mine.” His eyes were so heavy. I momentarily wanted him to lay his head on my lap and let me run my fingers through his hair until he fell asleep. I shook that thought away and headed to the table to get started on my work.
About ten minutes later Quinn finally quit flipping channels. “Hey, look what’s on.”
He had it turned to the show I was watching earlier. “It’s on all weekend. I started watching it last night. I never did see the last season. Did you?”
He was lying on the couch, all stretched out with his feet hanging off the edge. He shifted up a bit to look over at me. “No, I gave up on it. Maybe we can catch it this weekend.”
Wait, what? We can catch it this weekend? I wasn’t going to be there the whole weekend. I glanced up at him, wondering what he was thinking. When I didn’t answer he lay back down and I turned back to my laptop. I couldn’t concentrate, though. My mind was at war with itself. What am I doing here? I’m in my ex-boyfriend’s apartment, alone with him. I have a boyfriend. I shouldn’t be here. He’s sleeping now. I should just go home. But he’s sick. I can’t leave him alone like this. I’ll just wait here and when he’s feeling better I’ll leave. I replayed that argument over and over in my mind for the next couple hours while Quinn slept. I finally gave up completely on getting any work done. I closed the laptop and put it all away. I went over and sat on the floor by the couch and watched TV.
I slipped out during a commercial to run home and take a shower and pick up a couple things. I wanted to make him some chicken soup, but he didn’t have anything except TV dinners, frozen pizzas and cereal. No wonder the guy was sick. He wasn’t eating healthy enough. I got everything I needed and brought it back over to his place.
He was sitting up on the couch, bent forward with his head in his hands. When he heard the door he jerked upright. “I thought you had left me. I mean, I woke up and you were gone and I didn’t see your stuff here so I assumed you’d gone home.” His throat sounded a little better, but it was still scratchy.
I couldn’t help but smile at the hopeless-little-boy look on his face. “I just went home for a shower and to get real food for you. Seriously, hot pockets and cereal? You need to eat better.”
“Yes, Mom.” He smirked at me.
“If your mom knew you were eating that crap she would have a fit. I’m surprised she doesn’t make you come home for dinner every night. She used to be so adamant that you be home to have dinner as a family.” I fondly remembered dinners at Quinn’s on the nights that I didn’t make dinner for my dad. We would all sit around the table and talk about our day and what was going on in our lives. It was just what I remembered family dinners could be like, and I loved being part of it.
“She would love that. She always complains that she doesn’t see me enough.” He rolled his eyes and looked over the bag I was carrying with interest. “So what’s in there?”
“Just some stuff to make chicken soup for you. Nothing helps get over a cold like chicken soup.” I went into the kitchen and got started. I had thawed out the chicken breasts in the microwave at my house while I was in the shower. Now I just had to cook them while I chopped vegetables. I was working away and didn’t notice Quinn standing in the doorway watching me until he started talking.
“So you still like cooking, huh?”
I glanced over at him. He looked so much like he used to. His hair was lying over his forehead as if it too were too tired to stick up. He was wearing his glasses. I thought they were the same ones he’d had in high school. There were definite changes, too. The way the plain white t-shirt he had on clung to him. I could see the faint definition of muscles in his arms and chest that had never been there before. I wondered what his chest felt like now. I bit my lip and turned away. I had to stop these thoughts.
“Yeah, I still like to cook. I used to cook for everyone more, but I’ve been pretty busy lately.” I thought of Beau and how he didn’t like getting together with my friends. He did like it when I cooked for him though, and told me so often.
Quinn let out a snort. I thought I heard him mumble, “Held prisoner, more like it.” I should have said something to him about that comment, but I really didn’t want to argue with him today so I let it go.
“What else do you like to do now?” He still watched me as I started to add everything to the big soup kettle I’d brought over. I had to really think about that. I really hadn’t done anything for myself other than read in so long.
“I guess just reading. I like to hang out with Kai and Kerri. I could do without the shopping trips and the makeovers, but I always have a good time with them. You haven’t met Jason, but I like to spend time with him.
I finished adding the water and spices to the pot and left it to simmer. I washed my hands and then turned to Quinn, who had moved further into the kitchen. He was now very close in the too-small kitchen, which shrank even more while we were in there. I searched his face, trying to read his mind. He appeared to be deep in thought. He was staring right at me but I didn’t think he was actually seeing me.
I took that moment of his inattention and really looked him over. Even sick, he was impossibly handsome. To me, he had always been handsome. I knew others didn’t see him like I did in high school, but it was always there. His current hair cut fit him much better. His jaw was much more defined now, too. Before I realized what I was doing, I reached out and ran my fingers along it.
His eyes flashed to mine and I quickly pulled my hand away as if it were burned. “I’m sorry, you were so lost in thought and I just...” I trailed off, not really having an answer to what I was doing.
His gaze lingered on mine a little longer. Both of us seemed to have trouble pulling away. I felt my heartbeat pick up, and my breath hitched. I lowered my eyes to his lips. They were slightly parted. I wondered if they still felt the same. Did he still taste the same? At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to find out.
Quinn let out a soft sigh. “So how long until the soup is done?” That effectively snapped me out of my fantasy world and back into this one.
“Um, a little while yet.” Quinn’s eyes held a hint of disappointment. Whether it was because the soup wasn’t ready or something else, I couldn’t say.
“What do you want to do while we wait? Did you finish your work?” Quinn asked as he walked out of the kitchen.
I let out a big breath, and wondered what had come over me. I followed Quinn out of the kitchen. “I gave up on my paper. I’ll work on it later. We could just watch some TV. I think it’s about the middle of season one. You were so off on your prediction of how it would end.” I chuckled remembering his guess at the ending.
We sat on his big, black leather couch, one on each end, the gap in the middle mirroring the gap in our relationship. We spent the rest of the afternoon on that couch, watching TV and talking about trivial things. We even ate our soup sitting there. Over the course of the afternoon and evening, that gap closed a little more with each passing hour.
It was getting late and I should have gone home, but Quinn’s fever was back and I couldn’t leave him like that. He had been sleeping on and off for about three hours, but it was a restless sleep. He woke up shivering and I went to get him another blanket.
His room was similar to the living room. He had minimal furnishings and the walls were unadorned. It was done in the same black and tan color scheme as the rest of the apartment. I wondered again at his lack of trappings. He didn’t even have pictures on any of the walls, or anywhere for that matter. Not even of his parents. The most he had on any wall was a clock in the dining area. I made note to ask him about it later.
There was a loud crack of thunder as I brought the blanket out to him. The storm had let up in the early afternoon but was back in full force. The lights flickered and went out. Great, no power. Now what do we do? “Quinn?” I tried to feel my way to the couch without tripping over everything. I was clumsy enough with the lights on. With them off, my chances of injuring myself and others tripled.
“I’m still here on the couch. Just go slow. You’ll find it.”
I did take it slow, but still managed to stub my toe on the end of the couch when I reached it. Quinn laughed when I swore at it. I handed him the blanket and he wrapped it around himself. We sat on the couch in the dark, neither of us said anything. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable. It was actually peaceful. The wind and the rain raged outside and the thunder was deafening. The worst of the storm must have been right over us. The lightning lit up the room and allowed us each occasional glimpses of the other.
At some point I became aware that Quinn was still shivering. Even the extra blanket hadn’t helped his chills. I knew full well that I shouldn’t do it, but I quietly said, “Quinn, come here. Let me help you warm up.”
“I’m f-i-i-i-n-n-e,” He whispered with his teeth chattering.
“No, you’re not. Let me help.” I moved closer to him and wrapped my arms around him. He was stiff in my arms at first. Slowly, he started to relax. “Are you getting tired again? Your cough has been a lot better. Maybe you’ll be able to sleep tonight.”
“Yes, I’m tired. How about you? You’ve been so helpful today. I can’t thank you enough for being here, taking care of me like this. You really didn’t have to do it.”
“I know, but I couldn’t leave you alone in this state, either. Now stretch out and get comfortable. You sleep while you can. I’ll go home when you’re doing better.” We shifted around on the couch until I had my back pressed against the back of the couch and my arms around Quinn in front of me. It was a little awkward with him being so much taller than me. I didn’t care though. I just wrapped my arms around him and pulled the blanket tighter around him.
I felt Quinn slowly relax into sleep. Occasionally his muscles would twitch and make me smile. I was torn apart as I laid there holding him. The guilt ate at me. What would Beau say if he knew where I was? It was all innocent. I was just helping a friend. I would do the same for Kai or Reed. Would I? Would I really hold Reed the same way I was holding Quinn right now? I told myself yes, but the voice in the back of my mind snorted in disagreement. I tried to push all the thoughts away. I didn’t want to think of any of it right then. I had been here with him the whole day, and no matter what I thought or did that wasn’t going to change. He still needed me there.
I drifted off to sleep with hazy thoughts of how good being there felt, how right everything felt at that moment. I dreamt of Quinn out at our old farm. He was holding me and telling me I was his world and about all the things we were going to do together. I smiled at my dream Quinn and sighed, “I love you, Quinn,” as I lay my head on his chest. I snuggled closer to him on the couch as we both dreamed on.
God, my neck hurt. And my hips. Wait, what are my legs around? I opened my eyes and to see two brown pools peering into mine. I blinked. I must still be asleep. Nope, they’re still here. Then I remembered where I was. I was still on Quinn’s couch, with my body completely wrapped around him. His face was so close to mine that our noses were practically touching. I could feel his breath across my lips. His arms were around me, holding me close. I was pretty sure I knew exactly what was pushing against my hip. I sighed. It felt so good being there, but it was so wrong.
“Good morning.” Damn, his voice was sexy. It was barely audible, and not because he whispered. Unfortunately, it sounded like he was losing his voice.
I gave him a lazy smile. “Good morning.”
He pulled back slightly and traced my face with his eyes. He took a deep breath and let it out as he said, “I should let you go.” I was sad when he moved to get off the couch. It had been so long since I’d felt like that. Been held like that. I knew the right thing to do -- the smart thing to do -- was to get up out of his embrace and out his apartment. Knowing this, I still offered, “I thought I should stay and make you breakfast.” He gave me a speculative look. I looked down, avoiding his gaze. I didn’t want him to read too much into the offer. “I mean, all you have is cereal, and that’s not going to feel good on your sore throat. I could make you something else.” I peeked up at him through my lashes. He had on his little half grin and a twinkle in his eye. Damn, he knew.
“I would love to have breakfast with you, Sylvia,” he rasped out. I cringed, and went to make him some more honey and lemon tea. He stopped in the doorway of the kitchen. “I’m going to take a shower. Will you be here when I get back?” He actually looked worried.
“I should be. I want to run home and change and grab a couple of things to make.” I didn’t look at him while I answered. I kept myself focused on filling the cup and putting it in the microwave. “I’ll leave your tea on the counter in case you’re done before I get back.” I gathered together what I needed for the tea. When I looked over, he was gone.
I heard the shower come on as I took the cup out and added the teabag. I let it soak as I folded the blanket left on the couch. My internal monologue started back up. Sylvia, what are you doing? There is no reason you should even be here now. Now you’re staying for breakfast? How much longer are you going to let this go on? He’s Quinn Lobato. He broke your heart when he left. Yes, but he’s back. Not for you, he isn’t. It is nothing but a coincidence that he’s even here. If you weren’t in the same building he wouldn’t even know you were still on campus. It’s not like he searched you out. But he does know and he hasn’t once acted like he wants anything other than friendship. We can be friends. Friends don’t spend the night together. They do when one needs the other. With a sarcastic snort, the voice went quiet. By the time I remembered Quinn’s tea, it was fairly strong. I added extra honey, hoping that would cut down on the bitterness. I left it on the counter and went home.
I briefly debated on a shower. I decided I could skip one for now. I did need to change my clothes. I didn’t think I would need to go anywhere later, so I threw on a different pair of old sweats. It was amazing Kai hadn’t confiscated these yet. She hated the old blue ones. It wasn’t because they were holey or even because they were sweats. She hated them because they had “QSHS” across the butt. She questioned the sanity of those in charge at my former high school when I explained to her that these were part of our gym uniform. I grabbed an old cream color tank top and one of my dad’s old flannel shirts to go with it. I ran a brush through my hair and pulled it back up into a bun. I brushed my teeth and added some deodorant and body spray. I may have skipped a shower but I wasn’t going to smell like it.
I wasn’t sure what to make him for breakfast. I wanted to make sure it could be easily swallowed. I looked at the oatmeal but that seemed so boring. In the end, I took all my eggs and cheese. I had left the unused part the onion from the soup in Quinn’s fridge yesterday. I wished I had fresh mushrooms, but settled for canned. I put everything in a cloth grocery bag and headed back to Quinn’s.
I could hear the opening and closing of drawers from his bedroom and figured he was in there still getting dressed. I blushed, catching myself picturing him naked. I mentally kicked myself for going there and went to the kitchen to make the omelets.
While I cooked them, Quinn came out and drank his tea. He set the table. We didn’t say anything until we sat down together to eat. Quinn took one bite and closed his eyes and moaned. “Sylvia, I don’t think I can ever let you leave. I’m going to keep you here just so I can eat this well every day.” Between the moan and the smile I felt myself clench and my breath catch. I cast my eyes down to my food and muttered thanks.
“So, tell me about how you met Kai and Kerrington.” I noticed that he still referred to Kerri as Kerrington. She still hadn’t loosened up around him enough to allow him to call her Kerri. I was sure she would come around and soon be just as friendly with Quinn as the others were.
I chuckled at my memory of meeting Kai for the first time. “It was our second day at the U. I still hadn’t come out of my room to meet anybody, so I had no idea who I was living around. My roommate decided at the last minute not to come, so I had the room to myself. When Kai found out that I had an extra closet, she wasted no time in coming to claim it.” I laughed again, remembering her. “I was sitting on my bed reading when my door flew open. She didn’t even knock. Kai just walked right in and -- you know how she is. She said, ‘I’m Kai. We’re going to be such good friends. Now which closet is empty?’ All I could do was stare at this spunky little thing in purple pigtails with matching eyes. She talked so fast I could barely understand her. I just pointed to the one by the window and looked at her. She then launched into a thousand questions and eventually Kerri walked by and heard her and came in to see who Kai was quizzing. She had been subjected to similar treatment the night before. They met the guys on their way to supper after they left my room.”
Quinn snickered along with me. “I heard about how they all met. Kai truly believes in all that psychic “gift” shit, doesn’t she?”
“Yeah. The spooky thing is she’s so often right that I catch myself believing it, too.”
We talked some more about the others: about how different we all are, yet how we just all work so well together. During that conversation I realized just how much time Quinn spent with Reed and Sloane. I wondered just how much of my past they’d told him about. He seemed to know quite a bit about Jason when I started to tell Quinn about him. It reminded me again that I still needed to talk to Jason. I planned to do that this weekend. I resolved to do it the next day. We sat there talking long after we finished eating. Finally, I got up and gathered the dishes. I watched Quinn load the dishwasher. I knew I was dawdling. I wasn’t needed anymore, but I wasn’t really ready to leave, either. Suddenly my weekend alone just felt lonely.
Quinn finished and closed the dishwasher. “So now what? Wanna finish watching season two?” Hmm, it seemed he wasn’t ready for the weekend to end either. Quinn grabbed each of us a pop and joined me on the couch. It would be a lie to say Beau never crossed my mind. I just chose to ignore it when he did. Yes, I felt guilty but it didn’t stop me from enjoying the time with Quinn. There were still times when the elephant between us made a pass through the room. Something one of us would say would call it out. For whatever reasons we had -- whether it was just to keep the friendly atmosphere up or just because we couldn’t talk about it yet -- both of us let it go without comment.
The afternoon stretched out in front of us, and soon it was evening. I made us an early supper of reheated soup and turkey sandwiches. We started a game of Scrabble, but Quinn had a headache and his throat was hurting again, so we quit. I teased him it was because I was winning. After the game was cleaned up, I started to stand. “I should go so you can get some sleep.”
Quinn caught my hand before I could step away from the table. “Please don’t leave yet.” His eyes pleaded with mine. He felt it, too. I knew as soon as I walked out of his apartment whatever momentary truce we had would end. I knew this weekend had changed how I felt towards him. My anger was mostly gone. Of course the hurt was still there. It was just buried deeper. It reminded me just how much I’d missed his friendship. I couldn’t ever go back to the way things had been, but I could move forward to something new. We were both adults now and could handle a friendship without the past interfering with it. Quinn had been trying to show me that all along.
I nodded and sat back down. “I’ll stay, but you really need to rest. I’ll work on my paper while you go get some sleep.”
My heart squeezed from the smile he gave me. He got up and moved towards the couch. I stopped him by touching his arm. “Go sleep in your room. You’ll get a better sleep there. That way the lights and my constant tapping on the keyboard won’t keep you awake.” I let my hand slowly trail down his arm to his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before I let go.
“Thank you,” Quinn whispered. I found myself staring at his lips, and pulled my gaze away to his eyes. He was still wearing his glasses but I still felt that, even through the glass, we saw right into each other with that gaze. Quinn broke away first. “Just tell me goodbye when you leave. Even if you have to wake me, I want to know.”
“Okay.” I watched him walk down the hall and part of me went with him.
I worked on my paper. It was much easier to concentrate this time, perhaps because Quinn wasn’t in the same room with me where I could hear his every breath. I lost track of time as I worked. Before I knew it, the paper was finished. I still needed to proofread it for any mistakes, but that could wait. I found it was always best to put something away for awhile before I edited it. It was easier to find the mistakes when I hadn’t been staring at the same thing for hours. I looked at the time and saw that it was after eleven. Quinn had been sleeping for almost five hours. I figured it was time for me to go home.
True to my word, I walked down the hall to his room to tell him I was going home. I cracked his door open and spotted him on his bed. He had all the blankets thrown off and was laying there in just sleep pants. His radio was on, and I thought it may have kept him from hearing my light knock on the door. I called out to him. He didn’t answer, so I crept closer to the bed. I reached out to shake his shoulder. He was burning up. I moved my fingers and palm around on his shoulder. My whole hand burned from touching his skin. His fever was back.
“Quinn. Wake up Quinn.” I shook his shoulder lightly. He groaned and opened his eyes, but they fluttered closed just as quick.
“Quinn, I’m going to get you some Tylenol and a cool cloth. I’ll be right back.” I slipped into his bathroom and opened the cabinet. I was relieved to see that he did have some Tylenol. I found a wash cloth in the drawer and got it wet. I went to the kitchen for some ice water. I filled the cup with more ice than water, hoping it would help cool him down faster if he sucked on it.
He was awake when I brought it all back to him. He pulled himself upright and reached for the Tylenol and water. I watched his throat bob as he swallowed them. I took the cup from him and set it on the bedside table. He lay back down and I brought the cool cloth up to his forehead. I moved it gently over his face to cool him down. He let out a sound that could only be described as half moan, half sigh.
He reached over and grabbed my hand and put it on his chest over his heart. At first all I noticed was the feel of his heart beat. It wasn’t slow but it wasn’t racing, either. The rhythmic beat was slightly fast and irregular. Then I noticed how hot his chest was, too. I ran the cloth along his jaw passed his neck down to his chest. As I rubbed his chest down I became aware of just how hard his chest had become. His abs weren’t quite “chiseled,” but they weren’t too damn bad, either. I flicked my eyes back up to his. Thankfully, his were shut. His head was thrown back on the pillow, exposing his neck. I watched his Adam’s apple bob again as he swallowed. I continued to move my hand with the cloth over his chest as I examined his face. His jaw was tight. It was much more sculpted than it used to be. He didn’t shave that morning, either, so he had at least a couple days’ growth going. It intrigued me. He never really let it grow like that in high school. I wondered how it would feel against me.
I snapped my mind back to what I was doing. He was sick and I was ogling him. I should have been ashamed of myself. The cloth was warm already, so I went back to the bathroom to re-cool it. I brought it back and sat down beside him on the bed as I started the cooling process all over again. The light from the bathroom was shining through the door, right in to Quinn’s eyes. He covered them with his arm and I got my first real good look at how muscular his arms had become. His fist was clenched, causing his forearm to tighten up even more. I’d never asked what he did to bring about the changes. I didn’t want him to think I had noticed.
As I stood to go cool the cloth once more, my eyes fell on the glass of ice water. The ice had barely melted. If I put that in the cloth it would take longer to warm up. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I realized quickly that once the ice did melt, I’d need to rinse the cloth out to avoid soaking everything. I thought maybe it would just be better to use the ice directly on his skin. That way it would dry off faster than it would with a wet cloth constantly leaking. I went back to the bathroom and squeezed it out and brought it back with me just in case I needed it.
I closed the door most of the way when I came back in so the light wouldn’t bother him. I sat down next to him and ran the first of the ice cubes over his chest. He sucked a breath in and pulled his arm away and raised his head to look at me. His eyes were heavy lidded as he gazed at me. He opened his mouth but all that came out was, “Sylvia.” His voice was so low. I realized the ice was gone, but I was still running my hands in soft, slow circles over his chest and stomach.
I stopped and started to pull away when Quinn’s hand came over the top of mine. He held my hand and continued to use it to trail against his body. His eyes never left mine as he pulled my hand down lower. I hesitated when I felt the soft waistband of his pants. I looked into his eyes, questioning him. I wanted to make sure he was aware of what he was doing. I was damn sure of what was happening, yet I felt powerless to stop it. Quinn made a whimpered choking sound. “Sylvia, I don’t have the strength to fight this anymore.”
He tugged my hand lower, placing it right over his length. This, too, was burning, just like the rest of his body. I gasped. “Quinn, you have a fever. This is not something we should be doing right now.” Or ever. He groaned, and dropped his head back. Then he moved, flipping me back on to the mattress, much quicker than someone with a fever should be able to.
“Sylvia, it’s more than just the fever that has me burning.” His face was over mine, just inches from my mouth. I could feel his hot breath over my lips. I knew it was wrong. I knew I should not be there. I should not even have been considering this. But at that moment, nothing was going to stop me from kissing Quinn Lobato.
I reached my free hand up to the scruff of his neck and pulled him to me. His lips were hot against mine, yet they were so soft. He barely touched mine. I parted mine slightly to encourage him. He deepened the kiss but still kept it soft. I felt his fire pour through that kiss onto my lips and into my mouth. Slowly it crept on, burning me as it went. His hands joined in, sliding up under my shirt. They seared me as they moved up my side. I was burning with him, for him.
His tongue sought out mine, twining around mine, not battling mine for control but dancing with it. I moaned against him and he pulled back a little, not taking his lips off me but just moving them to my jaw. He shifted slightly, allowing his hand room to slide from my side to gently cup my breast. His move freed my hand that had been trapped between us. I moved it up from his waist, over his hip and up his back. The feel of his muscles all hot and hard under my hand had me groaning and raising my hips to his.
He slipped a leg between mine and glided the hand that had been lightly massaging me back down my stomach and over my hip, stopping once he reached my thigh. He wrapped his long fingers around it and hitched my leg up, bringing his leg closer against me. He stroked my thigh and hip as I arched into him. I needed to feel the heat and the friction of him against me. I could feel him, so hard, pressed against my hip.
His mouth was at my ear. He took a small slow swipe around the outer edge, causing me to shudder. I felt his hot breath as he whispered, “I’ve wanted this, Sylvia. I’ve dreamt of this. I don’t even know if I can trust that you’re really here.” He slid his teeth over my earlobe and pulled it gently.
“Quinn, this is real. I’m here.” Oh, I’m most definitely here, I thought as his lips came back to mine. His hand came back up to my shirt this time, trying to push it off. He forgot about the flannel over the top. I moved my hands off his back to tear at the outer shirt. He realized what I was trying to do and brought his hands up over my collarbone and to my shoulders, pushing it off for me. One hand he tangled into my hair and the other he ran down my arm to my hand. He used my hand as his own again. Together we pulled the tank top up over my head. He disentangled his hand from my hair and cupped my face. I just wanted to nuzzle into his hand.
His thumb brushed over my lips, and I had to taste him. I opened my mouth and slowly ran my tongue over his thumb. I could feel the ridges of his fingertips under my tongue. I could taste the salt of him. I wanted to taste more of him. I sucked his thumb into my mouth, closing my lips around it, curling my tongue around it. Quinn let out a little hiss that had my insides tightening. I slid my mouth off his thumb and licked at the next finger. I started at the base and dragged my tongue up the entire length of his long, long fingers. I sucked that one in, just like the last.
“God, Sylvia,” Quinn practically growled.
He brought his mouth down to my chest. He didn’t even wait to take my bra off. Just settled his open mouth over the ice blue satin covering my tip. It wasn’t long before he was pulling at it with little nips. He pulled his wonderful fingers from my mouth when I opened them to let out a sigh. He traced his finger along the exposed skin under my bra before pushing up under it. Those magic fingers went to work on me, pinching and kneading, twisting and flicking. He pulled the straps off my shoulders and bared me to him. I felt more than heard the rumble from his chest. “Sylvia, you are so beautiful.” He brought his mouth down to me and rubbed his jaw against my skin. I loved the feel of his stubble as it brushed across me. It was rough and slightly scratchy, but it sent little tingles shooting through me.
I arched my back and reached back to unhook my bra. He hooked a finger around it and pulled it off and dropped it somewhere beside the bed. By then I was losing myself to him. I was writhing against him so hard; I could feel the heat of him. I wanted to wrap my hand around him. I pushed at his pants, getting them off his hips and as far down as I could. Quinn raised his hips to assist me in the effort. I took the opportunity to wrap my hand around him. I tightened my grasp and slid it up. His pants were still around his thigh, but I managed to snag them with my foot and pull them the rest of the way off.
I continued to pump my hand around him. He was so impossibly hot. His skin was so smooth. I wanted to feel that heat against me, in me. As if he read my mind, he moved his hands down to my pants. I curved against him as he pushed them off my hips. He moved away from me as he pulled them off. He trailed his hands all the way back up, from the arch of my foot, around my calf, behind my knees, and up the insides of my thighs. I was yearning for him. I needed him. I burned for him.
Finally, he made his way to where I most wanted his touch. He lazily ran one finger over me. I arched into him, begging for more. He made a second pass, adding a second finger. Both just traced over me, barely touching me. I shivered at the feel of his fingers ghosting over the satin of my panties. His husky voice was pure sex as he groaned out, “Sylvia, you are so wet for me. I just want these off you and feel your skin against mine.” With that, he tugged my panties down and I wiggled my legs, sliding them off.
Quinn leaned in for a kiss as he curved his fingers around me. His lips took mine deeper this time, yet just as sweet. The kiss was hot but the fire didn’t need to travel through me this time. I was already a raging inferno. He used one finger to slide in between my lips and stroked up and down along my slit. After a few passes, he stopped right on my clit. He rubbed slow circles around it, and I was dying for more. I thrust my hips to him, but he continued to torture me with the slow circles and easy kisses. It may have been torture, but it was a sweet torture. He was building me up, and I knew that when I released it was going to be huge.
Everything started to tighten. My hand was back around him, my grip tight around him as I felt it approaching. Quinn knew my body so well. It was like he hadn’t forgotten anything. He slid two fingers in, hooking them against me as he thrust them in and out. My breath matched the pace of his fingers. When his thumb came down pressing on my clit, I was lost. I called out his name as I tightened all around him. He slowed his strokes as he brought me back down.
I was still slightly panting as I looked him in the eye, telling him that I still needed more. I needed him inside me. Even though it was fairly dark in the room, there was still enough light for me to see his eyes. They were a mix of lust and something else. I wasn’t sure what, but I was sure they were telling me how much he wanted me too.
I looked away and hated the fact that he had to reach over to get a condom out of his nightstand. I had always been on birth control so we never worried about them. I heard the rip of the package and felt the bed move. Quinn positioned himself between my legs. He cupped my face and turned me to look at him.
“Sylvia?” He breathed the question. I knew he would stop if I said so. But I was too far gone. I wanted him at that moment more than I’d wanted him at any point in my life.
“Yes.” It was all the answer he needed. With one smooth thrust, he was in and it felt like home. All my senses were alive. I could smell our scent mixed together when I took a deep breath in. I tasted his mouth on mine, his tongue again calling mine out to play. I could see his eyes gazing into mine. They were black in the dark, but still as intense. I could feel the heat and hardness of his body against mine. My hands rubbed at his back and clutched at his arms. He was thrusting slowly, teasing me, feeling me. And somehow, with all that consuming me I still managed to catch the faint strains of a guitar and a soft melodic voice breaking through my consciousness, as Deep Blue Something sang the words, “You say that we’ve got nothing in common. No common ground to start from and we’re falling apart. You’ll say the world has come between us. Our lives have come between us still I know you just don’t care.”
In that moment, my heart began to cry again. I pulled Quinn tighter to me to drown out the song. To drown out the world. All I wanted to know and feel right then was Quinn. I kissed along his neck, loving the taste I’d remembered a hundred times over. Our lives may have come between us, but in that moment they were joined together, even if it was just briefly.
Quinn’s voice pushed the song from my mind. “Oh, Sylvia. I just want to stay here forever with you, in you.” He let out a small moan and he began to thrust faster. I was there with him. Between his hands, his mouth and the feel of him moving in me, I felt the fire building again. I met him thrust for thrust. I was so close and I needed him. He growled my name and I went over the edge. I bit down on his shoulder as I grasped him to me. I felt myself still spasming around him as he pulled back and thrust harder into me, once, twice, and yet again. He threw his head back. His brow furrowed, causing the veins to pop out. He let out a loud groan and I felt him jerk a little and knew that the fire had consumed him, too.
He was still breathing deeply as he bent down to kiss me. His lips were ever gentle against mine as his fingers stroked my cheek. “Sylvia,” he sighed once, and then pulled away from me. It felt like he pulled the condom off and dropped it on the floor beside us. He turned on his side and reached for me. He pulled me to him and nuzzled his face into my hair. I felt him take a deep breath and I smiled at the thought of him breathing me in.
We didn’t say anything as we lay there in the dark. Neither of us wanted to ruin the moment. I lay there, tangled up in his arms, and stroked his hair. I thought about how it felt to be there with him wrapped around me, holding me so close that I not only heard his heartbeat as it slowed, but felt it as well. I knew he was asleep from his even relaxed breaths. I realized he wasn’t as hot anymore, that somewhere in the middle of all that his fever had broken. I squirmed out of his embrace just long enough to pull the covers up around us. I didn’t want him to get chills in the night as the sweat from our bodies cooled against us. He pulled me back to him. Even in his sleep he wanted me near. I drifted off, too, with the line, “well that’s one thing we got,” echoing in my head.