ANA
Ana remained in an unsettled state of confusion for the whole day.
The more she pondered what Ryden told her about the houses, the more things made sense. It was why certain families were always seen together and others weren’t. It was why the rife gossip and speculation that high society thrived almost always centered around members of the houses or the nobles associated with them. This new awareness shone a bright light on everything Ana had originally thought, and as she toured each house, it was like she was seeing them for the first time.
At Goldfrost and Thorneshaw, she met privately with Everard, Theodore, Darcel and Rhoslyn to confirm she was in full agreement with the alliance. They were all visibly relieved, but the uneasy feeling that she was letting down her future children never left her. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only thing on her mind.
During their tour, Ryden was very affectionate. He held her hand, brushed her shoulder, pressed his hand against the small of her back, rested his hand on her hip and even kissed her forehead, and each time Ana expected her body to flourish and ripple with pleasure the way it had with Maddoc—to tingle and tremble in all kinds of delicious ways. But it didn’t happen with Ryden, and over the course of the day she grew concerned.
Was she under too much stress because of what had happened recently? Maybe Ryden was under a lot of stress too and his pheromones couldn’t affect her the way they were supposed to. But the more excuses she came up with, the more she remembered her parents. Regardless of what was happening around them, they remained attracted to each other; in fact, during times of stress, they sought out each other for comfort. More than once, she’d seen her mother curled in her father’s lap, with him rocking her as they talked about various problems that they were dealing with—the contact comforting them both. It couldn’t be stress affecting her response to Ryden.
The knot in her stomach grew as the day progressed, particularly when she realized she only had one more night until their wedding night. What if her physical response to him didn’t change? Even though she had been forced to spend nights with Maddoc, she had been aroused each time, even when he had grabbed her roughly and touched her however he wanted. The idea of Ryden touching her made her want to shrink away, and that confused her. Something was wrong.
While those thoughts revolved, Ana went through the motions of the announcement with the houses; gifts were given, compliments were made, and empty promises were hinted at. She kept the smile on her face the whole time, playing the part she had been brought up to play by her parents. Except this time it felt… odd. She felt different and out of place. Only two nights ago she’d spread her legs for one of the most feared and despised men known to the kingdom, found bliss humping on his cock and screamed for more. Since then, it felt as though something inside her was broken, and the rest of her reality was fracturing too.
As they arrived at the final royal house on the tour Ana pushed all other thoughts out of her mind. The knowledge that House Sterling was so combative with the house she was marrying into made her nervous. Even Ryden was quiet in the carriage on the way there.
Once inside, the visit didn’t feel like the other houses. The display of wealth was almost obnoxious, and though everyone made all the right noises and said the right words, a hint of something unsavory tinged the air. Gazes lingered on her too long, and conversation stopped or changed when she moved into earshot.
Keeping an eye on Ryden for a signal of when they would be leaving, Ana forced herself to sip her wine and smile at the women standing around her pretending to be polite, but her mind drifted back to Maddoc, and her nipples began to tingle. She had to wonder whether Betas had the same experience of sex as Omegas and Alphas. Could anyone in the room even understand that kind of intense feeling—uncontrollable, raw, carnal, distinctive?
Then she remembered. There was.
Ana glanced around, looking for the Omega that lived here. She couldn’t recall her name, though she could remember what she looked like when she attended the Omega session a few years ago.
“Let’s not crowd the princess, Ladies,” a smooth voice called out
Ana turned to see Duchess Heloise approaching her, and she froze in place, her whole body tensing. Heloise was known to be one of the most outspoken, rude, and ruthless members of the entire royal assembly. Her eyes were quick and her tongue sharp, even though she seemed unassuming and always held a smile on her face. In court, Ana always winced when Heloise stood to debate or discuss anything—she’d even been rude to Father more than once.
“Congratulations, Princess,” the duchess said, flicking her hand to dismiss the other women standing around Ana. “It’s so rewarding to see our perfect princess on the eve of her wedding day. You have so much to look forward to, but I’m sure you are tired of talking about the wedding.” Her eyes sparkled. “I am curious about why it has suddenly been moved forward. Nothing to do with the Royal Promise, I hope.”
Ana’s heart began to pound, but she kept herself relaxed. She had been expecting something like this. “My wedding has been planned for years, Duchess. Bringing it forward a few weeks is nothing remarkable. I would simply like to enter my twenty-second birthday as Ryden’s wife and mate.”
“I can believe that,” the duchess said, pursing her lips. “But I’m not as foolish as a commoner.” Her eyes narrowed slyly. “Tell me about your nights with the outlaw. I’m sure they were very… interesting. A big, hulking Alpha like that, I’m sure much happened in that room.” She leaned forward. “And I’m sure Duke Ryden is upset about it? Is that why the wedding was moved forward?”
For a moment Ana couldn’t speak. What was she supposed to say to such direct questioning?
The duchess lowered her voice. “You didn’t say the outlaw’s name while you were with Ryden did you? Alphas can be so territorial.”
Ana took a slow sip of her wine, ignoring the heat that flushed her cheeks. If she said the wrong thing, her words would be twisted out of context and Ryden’s reputation would be affected. She thought back to her father and his time in front of the court. How would he deal with it? She just didn’t know. Taking a breath, she thought back to her conversation with Ryden that morning, and a sharp realization came to her. “I don’t know that I’ve ever given the impression that I engage in idle gossip, Duchess,” she said, keeping her voice light. “I don’t. And I don’t appreciate any mention of the outlaw in my presence, for obvious reasons.”
The duchess’ smile faded, and a fierce glare bloomed in her eyes.
“I thought that, this being my wedding announcement, the houses would try to endear themselves to me, not offend me and have me find any reason to exclude them from favorable treatment by the crown when I am queen.”
The duchess’ glare hardened, and her body stiffened, her hands clasping her glass tight enough to make the tips of her fingers white.
“Is that what you wish for? Are you trying to find ways to offend me, Duchess?” Ana asked the question purposefully slowly like she’d seen Father do, then she tilted her head as if pondering her own words.
“No, Your Majesty.” The duchess spoke with formality but through gritted teeth. “I apologize.”
Ana smiled. “Good.” She glanced around. “I’m looking for the Omega that lives in this residence, do you know where I can find her?”
At that, the duchess’ smile returned. “Yes, of course.” Raising a hand, she called over a servant. “Take Princess Ana to see Leoma.”
Ana gave the duchess an obvious fake smile. “Until next time,” she said in farewell.
The duchess returned the smile, with one just as fake. “I look forward to our next talk, Your Majesty.”
Ana followed the servant through the crowded room to double doors on the other side. They headed up a wide, winding staircase until they reached the floor above, then traveled through another wing before coming to a halt outside cream doors with golden handles.
Knocking loudly, the servant waited for a call before opening the door. “Introducing Princess Ana,” he announced before stepping back and allowing her through.
Highly decorated with plush seats, chandeliers, furniture, and golden fittings, the room was an extravagant show of wealth. In the center a young woman sat on a wide soft bench, dressed just as elaborately as the women downstairs. Leoma was outfitted in a maroon gown, heavy jewelry, and her curly cinnamon-colored hair was wound up in a sophisticated plait. Ana was surprised how mature she looked from when she’d last seen her, but they had all been younger.
Excitement burst onto Leoma’s face as soon as she saw Ana, and she jumped up from her seat. She paused, as though she had only just remembered she was wearing a dress and then lifted her skirts so she could walk quickly.
“Princess Ana,” she almost squealed. “It’s such a pleasure to see you again. I cannot believe that you requested to see me!” She stopped in front of Ana, seemingly unsure what to do. She curtsied and then held her hand out awkwardly, but Ana smiled and took both of her hands in her own.
“Of course I’d want to see you,” she said. “Why wouldn’t I?”
Leoma grinned and squeezed her hand. “You are the princess who is going to be queen. What use would you have to see me again?”
Ana laughed. “You’re one of the only two Omegas I know,” she said. “That’s why. We have something unique in common. It’s a shame we don’t get to see each other more often.”
Leoma turned and gestured to the chairs. “Would you like to sit?”
Ana shook her head. “I’m not going to be up here very long,” she said apologetically. “I’m sure someone will notice I’m missing.” She glanced around the room again. “Why aren’t you downstairs with the rest of them?”
Leoma pushed out her lips. “I am to be brought down to greet you in about an hour. I’m not allowed to mingle too freely.”
Ana almost rolled her eyes. “I know that feeling. Being pushed and prodded into various scenarios and being told how to act or what you can do.”
“It so restricting. I cannot even imagine how it must be for you.”
Ana shrugged. “I got used to it from a very young age, it’s normal to me now.” Her voice lowered to a murmur as she spoke, remembering all the times she had sat in her bedroom waiting to be announced to some official or important member of yet another house. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody that I’ve seen you beforehand, though Duchess Heloise is the one who asked a servant to bring me here.”
Leoma rolled her eyes and then tensed as though caught doing something wrong. “I don’t mean to be disrespectful toward Heloise,” she said hurriedly. “She is my aunt, after all. It’s just… I have been disagreeable with her of late, and she doesn’t appreciate it.”
Ana almost laughed, but the sadness settled in her stomach. Ana had been fortunate that she didn’t have to deal with royal house politics as she grew up. And even so, she’d still had the same demeanor as Leoma—afraid to offend and eager to please.
“So why did you want to see me?” Leoma asked. “I’m not very experienced in wedding announcement ceremonies. I cannot believe you get to marry Ryden! He’s the best-looking Alpha in the royal assembly.” Suddenly her face dropped and she slapped her hand over her mouth in shock, her eyes wide on the princess.
“It’s all right,” Ana laughed. “I’ve known Ryden for a long time now; it doesn’t seem like that much of a big deal.” She ignored the sinking feeling in her stomach that she shouldn’t be starting her marriage with such a lack of excitement about her husband.
“Oh,” Leoma breathed, relief on her face. “Sterling women would be upset about me saying that about their betrothed—I think it’s because I’m an Omega and they think every man wants me.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s just Ryden does seem really nice and kind. And he deals with Heloise in a way I’ve rarely seen anyone do before, so that has to count for something.”
Ana‘s brows lifted. “What you mean? Do they talk often?”
“I’m not sure. The last time I saw them both was when they came to visit me.”
“When was that?”
Leoma pouted as she thought. “A couple of days ago, I think? It was completely out of the blue, and I couldn’t figure out why they’d both come.”
Ana stared at her. If Sterling and Redcrest were so against each other, why would Ryden and Heloise be making visits together? “What did they say?”
“They just asked me how I was doing in my lessons and what I’d been studying. Heloise asked me if I’d been paying attention to court events, my understanding of politics in the court assembly, how I was doing in my lessons, and what I knew about House Redcrest and if I had any allegiances there.” Leoma shrugged. “But I don’t know how I would when I’m not allowed to speak to anyone,” she grumbled. “Then Ryden asked me if I was excited about my upcoming pairing and we talked about that for a bit.”
Ana chewed her lip thoughtfully. “I don’t understand why they would be asking that, especially out of the blue.” She squinted at Leoma. “Have you been paired yet?”
“That is what I’m preparing for,” she said. “It’s going to be announced in the next few weeks—I think they were just trying to help prepare me. At least, that’s what Heloise said.” She shook her head and sighed. “I fear I may have made a fool out of myself with Duke Ryden, though. He’s extremely handsome.” She leaned forward, dropping her voice to a whisper. “I don’t know how you’re able to even think around him. He’s the perfect Alpha!”
Ana smiled at her, but a dull gloom sobered her mood. This was exactly how Ana came across to others; innocent, ignorant, and gullible. Leoma was so sweet, but she didn’t know much. She didn’t even realize that her aunt and Ryden being together was unusual. Ana wouldn’t have thought so a week ago either, but it clearly was. Why did everyone treat Omegas this way? She pushed the thoughts out of her mind. “It is exciting when you know you’re about to be paired,” she admitted.
“It is!” Leoma said, grinning wide. “I hope it’s someone as nice as Ryden.”
Ana patted her hand. “I’m sure it will be.” She rose from his seat. “Thank you for seeing me, Leoma. It’s been lovely to talk to you again.”
Leoma blushed. “Thank you, Your Majesty. I am honored.”
* * *
Multiple thoughts dominated Ana’s mind on the journey back to Ryden’s mansion. Ryden seem to sense her thoughtfulness because he didn’t try to engage in any kind of discussion or physical touching like he had on the way there. Ana was relieved about that because she was too tired to pretend.
Dusk had come and gone while they were at Sterling, and the velvety sky was streaked with the fading scores of lingering sun that somehow made her think of her nights with Maddoc. Immediately she pushed him out of her mind.
“You look tired, Ana,” Ryden said, his voice low. “I hope you haven’t been exhausted by today’s visits.”
Ana shook her head. “I will be capable of being married to you tomorrow, Ryden.”
He didn’t respond for a long moment. “This will be difficult for a while, Ana,” he said. “But you will eventually come to terms with what is being asked of you.”
“Don’t you mean what is being asked of our children?”
“Ana,” he growled. Something about the way he said it reminded her of Maddoc, and surprisingly her core clenched.
Ana stilled at the feeling. Was that a reaction to Ryden? Or the memory of Maddoc? She stared up at the sky, remembering two nights ago and his eagerness to fuck her as soon as he entered the room. She didn’t even recall seeing the night sky while in that room with him; she’d never had the chance, even when he had her bent over the window—
“What are you thinking about?”
Ryden’s voice brought her back to the smoothing jerking motion of the carriage. She swallowed, tucking the illicit thoughts away. There were more important things to discuss. “Why did you visit Leoma a couple of days ago?” she asked calmly.
In the semidarkness, she wasn’t able to determine his expression, but something subtly changed in his posture. “Who told you that?”
“Does it matter?” Ana asked.
“Yes, it does.” Ryden said irritably. “I don’t want rumors spreading that I, a Redcrest duke, casually visits members of House Sterling. It will cause problems.”
“You say that as though it’s not true, like gossip to be discarded.”
“I never said that.”
“Then why even bother argue about it. If you don’t want such rumors to spread, then don’t do it.”
Ryden growled again. “We talked about your tone with me, Ana.”
Ana said, leaning forward and seeking out his eyes in the darkness, “I will treat you with the utmost respect that any Omega can give an Alpha, Ryden. I will be the perfect Omega and honor you for the rest of my life. But not if you lie to me. There is never any reason for an Alpha to lie to his Omega, is there?”
In the darkness, the tension in Ryden’s body relaxed. “No,” he said. “That is not the kind of relationship I wish to have.”
“Then explain it to me. Are we at odds with Sterling, or not?”
“We are,” Ryden said, his voice low. “I was visiting the houses to find a solution to our outlaw problem, and it made sense to visit House Sterling to see if there was a possibility of us coming to some kind of truce. Obviously it didn’t work. Sterling is extremely aggressive in the way they deal with every other house. Leoma just happened to be there and Heloise invited me to visit with her. I think she thought she could use her to distract me so I would tell her what we were planning.”
Ana pressed her lips together. That sounded like Heloise.
“I didn’t mean to be defensive about it,” he added. “I was just unprepared for your question. A lot of effort was made to ensure no one was aware of the meeting, beyond me and the person I met with. Unless Heloise told you, there is a security issue.”
Ana sighed. “No, it was Leoma who told me. I don’t think she realized she wasn’t supposed to talk about it. She was excited to meet you.”
“I’ll send a message to ensure she knows not to talk about it. It was during quiet visits like that that I formed the alliance with Goldfrost and Thorneshaw. If everyone talked about them, we wouldn’t have an alliance.”
Ana nodded and leaned back against the carriage wall, the gentle jolting of its movement along the road rocking her. Secrets upon secrets. This was clearly the way of life as a royal, but she didn’t like it, especially if it caused her to question her true mate. Maybe it was a silly thing to think, another remnant from the innocence that she had been steeped into for so long, but she had never seen any such deception between her parents. All she wanted was what they had. Granted, she didn’t see them every single moment of every single day, but she’d been witness to their relationship her whole life, even during some of their private talks. She knew they had disagreements, but never any arguments or suspicions that would cause them to pull away from each other. She wondered if, at the beginning of their relationship, they had had any experiences like what she was having with Ryden. It would be helpful to ask them, but even if she could, she wouldn’t know if they were telling her the truth. There was something strange about the way they lied about the Alpha and Omega stories. If the Atara in the books was not her mother, why would she be so keen to hide them?
Ana hadn’t taken the time to fully think about it because so much had happened. And now she had left her home, Milly, her library, and all of her favorite books, including the Alpha and Omega stories that she only just discovered and had been looking forward to reading. Maybe they would give her answers about her lack of feeling for Ryden.
“Is there a way to collect anything from the palace?” she asked Ryden.
“Such as clothes?”
“No, belongings. I need some books from the library.”
Ryden shook his head. “If it’s an emergency, we will find a way to get it for you, but books can wait. After our wedding you will be moving back to the palace at some point, so you may not need to take them at all.”
“What about Milly?”
Ryden frowned. “Who is that?”
“My lady-in-waiting.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Ana, but we can’t use your father’s staff. You can select a new lady-in-waiting as soon as things are settled.”
Ana bit back the words she wanted to say, trying to ignore his implication that Milly was untrustworthy. Milly was the only one who’d been honest with her, and if she truly couldn’t have Milly as her lady-in-waiting anymore, what would happen to her? Her status had already lowered from the death of her husband; her high-status job at the palace was the only thing keeping her afloat. Ana had said she would do whatever she could to help her, but now she couldn’t.
But Ryden’s words did highlight a fact she couldn’t ignore; the palace was no longer her home, and no matter how much she might think of it as such, she would never be stepping back into it with the same status she had when she left.
Ana had always thought she would embrace change. Less than a week ago she had been looking forward to marriage and all the challenges and changes it would bring. But now the thought left her with a sick feeling in her stomach, and she couldn’t pinpoint the reasons why. Her head had an understanding of how things were supposed to be, but her heart and her body had different ideas that conflicted with everything else, especially after her experiences with Maddoc. She would simply have to go to the library when she returned to find out what was wrong with her feelings for her mate.
For a moment she considered asking Ryden directly, but how would anyone start that kind of conversation? She would be effectively telling him that he wasn’t as attractive to her as Maddoc, since the outlaw was her only comparison.
Ana gritted her teeth as she looked at the window, annoyed at how much Maddoc was still affecting her. She wished she’d never seen him or knew about him, but the memory of him entering the room, his overbearing smugness, and the way in which he handled her body and slipped inside her, telling her how hard she made him, caused such a deep tingle in her stomach that spread along her body until her aching nipples tingled yet again and she was wet between her legs.
“I hope you don’t mind, but your wedding dress has been picked for you,” Ryden said. “It should be at the mansion when we get back.”
Ana nodded, keeping her face toward the window to avoid looking at him, as the shame of her instant arousal for the man she hated made tears come to her eyes. “That is fine,” she said quietly.