“Daddy, Keep Going”
This book is in your hands because I don’t want you—or anyone—to feel the way I feel. After my daughter Meadow was murdered on Valentine’s Day 2018 at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, I wanted answers. At first, I thought getting those answers might help me come to terms with losing her. It didn’t. But my hope is that what I’ve learned will at least help you keep your kids safe.
In ways I never could have imagined, what happened here matters far beyond the city limits of Parkland, Florida. That’s because the Broward County school district was ground zero for a dangerous new approach to school safety that has taken root nationwide. I teamed up with my friend Max Eden, a nationally renowned education policy expert, to write this book in order to help parents understand what’s really going on in our schools.
Before Meadow was murdered, I never paid much attention to what was happening at her school. Why should I have? Who really does?
I had a great life. I had provided a solid middle-class upbringing for my three kids, Huck, Hunter, and Meadow. I never went to college, but I did pretty well in business. Back in New York, where I grew up, I built a great scrap metal company. Then, when I moved down to Florida, I got into real estate. I raised my kids in Parkland and gave them everything I could.
I almost got wiped out when the housing bubble burst, and at the same time I went through a bad divorce. I thought that was the darkest time I’d ever go through. But I rebuilt my life. I remarried. My second wife, Julie, is a brilliant, kind, and wonderful woman. Business was good again. I hit the gym twice a day. My two boys were in college, and Meadow was a few months away from graduating high school and going to college herself. I was ready to ride off into the sunset. Literally. I was planning to sell my house and take my truck and RV across the country to be closer to Julie’s family in Northern California. Maybe I’d buy a little ranch up there.
On February 14, 2018, Julie and I put our bikes on the back of our truck, packed a picnic, and drove out to the Everglades. There’s a great bike loop out there, and you can see alligators and all sorts of wildlife. Halfway through the loop, I got a text from my son Huck saying there were shots fired at Meadow’s school. At first, I thought maybe it was fireworks and someone just thought the sound was gunshots. But then I got more calls saying it was a shooting. Still, I tried to rationalize it: It can’t be my daughter. What are the odds? It just can’t be Meadow. But Julie and I blew through every red light to get back to Parkland.
When I got to Marjory Stoneman Douglas, Huck was already there with his mom. They couldn’t find Meadow. Julie and I decided to check the trauma centers. She’s an ER doctor, and we thought maybe Meadow was in surgery. We tailed an ambulance and police cars to the nearest hospital. When we got there, Julie went inside. I stayed outside talking to the police officers. They told me that Nikolas Cruz was in the ambulance that I had followed. I didn’t realize at the time what that meant: I had seen my daughter’s murderer get wheeled into the hospital on a stretcher.
Julie couldn’t find Meadow, so we decided to try another hospital. We were about to leave when a reporter approached our truck. I showed him a picture of Meadow on my phone and he took a picture of us. That morning, I had thrown on the T-shirt on the top of the clean laundry pile for the bike ride. It happened to be a Donald Trump campaign T-shirt. The photo made the news, and in the next few days I got so much hatred on social media saying I deserved to have my daughter murdered because I support the president of the United States. Some people are really sick.
On our way to the second hospital, someone called Julie saying Meadow was in surgery. I remember wishing that she wasn’t. Now I wish she had been. But she wasn’t at that hospital or any others. Hours passed and it started to hit me that she was dead. Other families who couldn’t find their children went to a Marriott hotel to wait for news. But I couldn’t bear to go there. I knew that the police would find me when the time came. And at 2:15 a.m., they did. They told me what I already knew, but part of me still can’t believe.
Meadow was my princess. So sweet, but so tough. She could be like a supermodel one day and then go off-roading with the boys the next. She was just an all-American girl. Family meant everything to her. She had been dating her boyfriend, Brandon, for three years. He’s like another son to me now.
Meadow lit up every room. So many people told me after her death how kind she had been to them. If she saw a new kid at school, she would welcome them, show them around, and introduce them to people she thought they might like. She was sweet like that.
You know, Meadow’s brothers always wanted to protect her. But a lot of the time, she was the one protecting them. Out of all my kids, she was the one who was most like me. I had to be careful around her because if she wanted something, she’d always get it. And ever since the shooting, she’s been on my shoulder saying, “Daddy, keep going.” She wants me to find all the answers, expose everything that led to her murder, and dedicate my life to ensuring that what happened to her doesn’t happen to other kids.
One week after the shooting, I flew up to Washington, D.C. for a listening session at the White House. When I took the microphone to share my thoughts with President Trump, I spoke from the heart:
I’m here because my daughter has no voice. She was murdered last week. She was taken from us. Shot nine times on the third floor. We, as a country, failed our children.… Everyone has to come together as a country, not different parties, and figure out how we protect the schools. It’s simple. It’s not difficult. 9/11 happened once and they fixed everything. We protect airports, we protect concerts, stadiums, embassies.…
How many schools, how many children have to get shot? There should have been one school shooting and we should have fixed it! And I’m pissed! Because my daughter—I’m never going to see again. It stops here with this administration and me. I’m not going to sleep until it’s fixed. And, Mr. President, we’re going to fix it.... We all work together and come up with the right idea, and it’s school safety.
After that listening session, Trump asked to meet with my family and me. My son Hunter wore a Jewish yarmulke to the Oval Office to represent the strength of our people. I was so proud of him for that. We talked with the president about what happened and what we could do to make schools safe again.
I urged the president to form a national commission on school safety to study the problems and propose solutions. He nodded, then pointed his finger at Hope Hicks, the White House communications director, and said, “I like that. I want to do that.” And he did.
The president also told me about some bills in Congress that could help. A few other dads and I went to Congress and lobbied hard for those bills to become law. We got Congress to pass the Fix NICS (National Instant Criminal Background Check System) Act to improve the background checks for gun purchases. (The background check system played no role in what happened at Parkland, for reasons that I’ll explain later, but this law could help keep guns out of the hands of other criminals.) We also got Congress to pass the STOP School Violence Act to provide funding and training to improve school safety across the country. Maybe that act could have prevented this shooting. I believe it will prevent others.
Then I went to Tallahassee to lobby the Florida Legislature to pass the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School Public Safety Act. You’d think that, after a tragedy like this, our politicians could come together for once. But it was hard for them. Republicans didn’t like the bill because it had the strongest gun control provisions Florida had ever seen. Democrats didn’t like it because of the Coach Aaron Feis Guardian Program. Coach Feis died that day rushing at the shooter with his bare hands. The Guardian Program provides funding for schools to have highly trained armed guards. Because if Aaron had been armed, Meadow would be alive.
I also wanted to do something sweet to honor Meadow, so I started raising money to build a playground in memory of her and the sixteen other victims. Somewhere I can go instead of the cemetery to feel like I’m with my daughter, a place where I can see kids laughing and playing like she used to laugh and play. I organized a motorcycle ride, the Ride for Meadow, and other fundraisers and ended up raising half a million dollars to build Princess Meadow’s Playground.
But I wasn’t going to stop fighting for school safety after getting a few laws passed. I founded a nonprofit: Americans for Children’s Lives and School Safety (CLASS). I use it as a platform to influence legislators and school leaders to #Fixit by adopting policies that make our schools safer. I also went to the March For Our Lives gun control rally on March 24, 2018, in Washington, D.C. The organizers told my son Hunter that he could give a speech. It was such a beautiful speech. Here’s part of it:
The hatred and sickness that fuels a killer to kill innocent students is something most of us will never understand. But that doesn’t mean it’s something we can ignore. We need to be on a mission to stop these monsters before they take action inside our school. We must demand our leaders to help those who are sick. But we must also demand that they protect those of us that are not.…
To my sister who is up there in heaven, I promise you that my dad and I who are here along with millions of people at our side will do our part at making schools safe so that this never happens again. We vow to protect America’s children. We will keep them safe from the killers and all the weapons they use. Until we meet again, Meadow. I miss you like crazy. I love you. We all love you. May you shine on us today and every day going forward.
But after the Hollywood producer running the event read Hunter’s speech, she decided that they didn’t have room for it in “the show.” You see the problem they had with it, don’t you? It was about more than just guns. You have no idea how painful it was for Hunter.
I don’t blame the March For Our Lives student activists for that. That’s on the adult organizers behind the scenes, the same people who weaponized the tragedy to stoke controversy and division and to advance their political agenda. If you tried to talk about anything other than gun control, anything that Americans might actually agree on, they’d attack you. When I tried saying, “Hey, the shooter walked through an unlocked gate. Maybe we can talk about making sure school gates are locked when they’re supposed to be,” people called me a shill for the National Rifle Association.
If the shooter had acquired his gun through a legal loophole, or if a background check had failed and there was some NRA connection to what happened, I would have gone after the NRA. Hard. But when 18–1958 (I don’t like to say his name, so I usually call him by his prison number) bought his guns, he had a totally clean record. On paper, he was a model citizen. In reality, he was a psychopathic felon. Our laws already say that psychopaths and felons can’t buy guns. But he was never institutionalized. He was never arrested. And maybe most important of all: he was never really helped.
I wanted to know everything about why the shooting happened, so I launched an investigation. The more I learned, the less I could believe how much incompetence there was.
I truly mean that. It didn’t even make sense how everyone in Broward County could have been so incompetent. But eventually I figured out the explanation: political correctness.
You could write several books about the failures that enabled my daughter’s murder. You could write a book about the police and how their politically correct policy to reduce juvenile arrests allowed 18–1958 to keep a clean record despite forty-five police visits to his home. You could write a book about the mental health authorities and how they refused to institutionalize him three different times—when he was suicidal, threatening to kill, and obsessed with buying a gun—in the name of “civil liberty.”
This book is about the Broward County school district. It might sound strange to point a finger at the schools. After all, when people think of schools, they think about caring teachers who want to do right by kids. But teachers don’t have much power anymore. They report to their principals, who report to district bureaucrats and superintendents. In theory, superintendents report to locally elected school boards that are accountable to citizens. But citizens don’t have much power over our schools anymore either.
Instead, school superintendents follow orders and cues from federal bureaucrats and social justice activist groups. Those folks view students and schools as statistics on a spreadsheet. They slice every data set by students’ race, income, and disability status, and then blame every inequality on teachers. They view schools as laboratories for social justice engineering and force politically correct policies into our schools based on the assumption that teachers are too prejudiced to be trusted do the right things.
One policy is known as “discipline reform” or “restorative justice.” Activists and bureaucrats saw that minority students were being disciplined at higher rates than white students, and rather than recognize that misbehavior might reflect bigger problems and inequities outside of school, they blamed teachers for the disparity. They essentially accused teachers of racism and sought to prevent teachers from enforcing consequences for bad behavior. They thought that if students didn’t get disciplined at school, if instead teachers did “healing circles” with them or something, then students wouldn’t get in trouble in the real world. Superintendents then started pressuring principals to lower the number of suspensions, expulsions, and school-based arrests. All that actually happened was that everyone looked the other way or swept disturbing behavior under the rug, making our schools more dangerous.
Nationwide, this pressure to reduce discipline is especially strong when it comes to students with disabilities. The bureaucrats and activists think that teachers unfairly discipline them as well. In truth, most students with disabilities are disciplined less often than their peers. The exception is students with “emotional and behavioral” disabilities, which is a blanket label for students who frequently behave very badly. 18–1958 was one of those kids. The ridiculous thing is that principals are pressured to punish kids who behave badly at the same rate as students who behave well. Principals also face pressure to educate students with disabilities in the “least restrictive environment” possible. It sounds nice in theory. But it means pushing troubled kids into normal classrooms rather than giving them the specialized services they need to actually address their issues.
Kids with severe behavior problems are forced into classrooms where they don’t belong, and principals have a strong reason to ignore their misbehavior. This is great for superintendents, who can advance their careers on manipulated statistics. It is fine for principals, who get rewarded for not documenting problems so that their school’s data looks good.
It is bad for teachers, but they have little say. It’s worse for regular students, but they have even less. And it’s the worst for the troubled and disturbed students, who have the least say of all. This is what happened to 18–1958, and it is why the Parkland massacre happened.
His entire life, 18–1958 was practically screaming, “If you ignore me, I could become a mass murderer.” At every critical point in his life, the adults in the school system had a choice: do the obviously responsible thing, or do the easy thing that’s encouraged by these policies. They did the latter every time. Parkland was the most avoidable mass shooting in American history. 18–1958 was never going to be a model citizen, but it truly took a village to raise him into a school shooter. I can’t even say he killed my daughter. They killed my daughter.
18–1958’s story is so bad that, after I learned everything that I’ll share with you in this book, I approached his defense attorney. I said, “Give me all of his education documents and I’ll testify as a witness for the defense about how the system failed him.” I understand that this might sound crazy. This psychopath murdered my daughter, and I firmly believe in the death penalty. But the most important thing is that America learns from what happened so that this never happens again.
Right after the tragedy, people started raising questions about the role that the Broward County school district’s disciplinary leniency policies might have played. Broward had launched the PROMISE program to dramatically decrease student arrests. Students told the media after the tragedy that 18–1958 had committed all sorts of crimes in school without consequence. If he’d been arrested, he could have been prohibited from buying a gun. Or maybe an arrest would have made the FBI follow up on, rather than drop, tips that 18–1958 might shoot up the school. This seemed like an issue worth investigating.
But Broward County Public Schools superintendent Robert Runcie called me and others “reprehensible” for even asking it. First, he said there was no connection whatsoever between PROMISE and the shooter. Then, I guess after someone on his staff actually looked at 18–1958’s school records, Runcie said that he “had never been referred to the PROMISE program nor committed a PROMISE-eligible offense while in high school.” (Emphasis added.) Then he called the whole question “fake news.”
Runcie went to Harvard, so I’m sure he thinks he’s clever. Me, I barely graduated high school. But I knew that if he was saying “while in high school,” it meant that 18–1958 was sent to PROMISE while in middle school. Months later, a reporter proved that. The reporter also revealed that 18–1958 never actually attended the program, but the district didn’t follow up on his absence and couldn’t explain what had happened. The media called this a “shocking revelation.” But I knew it.
The fact that 18–1958 had been referred to PROMISE once isn’t that important in itself. Runcie could have told the whole truth rather than telling a half-truth (or just not looking into it) and then labeling grieving families as “fake news” mongers. But the morning after the tragedy, he blamed the gun, maybe expecting that the media would be content to leave it at that. And they were.
But I wasn’t about to let anyone off the hook. Now that I’ve investigated, I think I have a pretty good idea why the school district didn’t tell the full truth. Part of it has to do with this culture of pathological unaccountability within the Broward County school district. For a bureaucrat like Runcie pushing a social justice policy, the very idea of accountability became politically incorrect.
But more of it, I think, is the fact that these discipline policies had made Runcie a national star and transformed American education. President Barack Obama’s Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan, who was Runcie’s boss back when they both worked in the Chicago Public Schools, forced hundreds of school districts serving millions of students to adopt Runcie’s discipline policies. Thousands more districts serving millions more students adopted the policies because of pressure from other bureaucrats or because the policies were the new politically correct thing to do. And that’s why what happened here matters far beyond Parkland: the policies and the culture that enabled my daughter’s murder have probably come to your child’s school.
I wrote this book with my good friend Max Eden, whom I met when he traveled to Parkland to investigate what went wrong in our schools. Max is a senior fellow in education policy at the Manhattan Institute, a think tank, and he originally thought maybe he’d just write an article. But when I met him, I told him that he should work with me on my investigation. After his second trip here, he told me the investigation had to become a book. I replied, “Let’s do it together.”
Max is a policy and ideas guy. I’m a business and people guy. I told him that if we were going to get readers to truly understand the policies and the ideas, we had to tell the story through people. A lot of this book is told through the team of total strangers that came together in the wake of the tragedy to uncover information that the school district was trying to hide. After your daughter is murdered at school, the last thing you might expect is a cover-up. But there was one in Broward County. I can’t say the cover-up was worse than the crime, because nothing could have been worse than this crime. But it was bad.
This book has four parts. The first part, “Picking Up the Pieces,” tells the stories of my new friends as they grappled with this tragedy and gravitated toward my mission to expose everything. You’ll meet Kim, a Marjory Stoneman Douglas (MSD) teacher who kept all her students alive during the shooting and wants to speak out about what happened, even if it means losing her job. You’ll meet Royer, who came to the United States from Venezuela to keep his kids safe, only for his son Anthony to be shot five times in school (and, incredibly, survive). Royer was one of the first people to point a finger at the school district. You’ll meet Max and read about how his work in education policy brought him to Parkland. And you’ll meet Kenny, the student journalist who managed to expose more of what went wrong in Broward than the entire American press corps.
The second part, “Cruz Control,” is the only part of the book where I’ll use the killer’s name. Because his story needs to be told. It must be remembered and repeated as a cautionary tale of what can happen when everyone in a school system has an incentive to do the wrong thing. The reason he murdered my daughter and sixteen other people was that the system around him was even sicker than he was.
When you read the killer’s story, you might find it almost unbelievable. But maybe the most unbelievable part is that every wrong decision actually makes sense given the school district’s policies.
In the third part of the book, “The Politically Correct School District,” we take a deeper dive into Broward schools. You’ll read about the discipline policies and the PROMISE program. You’ll learn about how school administrators responded to pressure from school district bureaucrats by sweeping problems under the rug to make themselves look good. Then, when anyone questioned them, these bureaucrats hid behind political correctness and accused critics of racism. Even though these policies are doing terrible damage to minority students. Even though we were asking those questions because our children were murdered.
And the fourth part is about our “Fight to #Fixit.” We ran Richard Mendelson, a former teacher at MSD, as a school board candidate. We recruited over two hundred volunteers and knocked on over thirty thousand doors. We explained to voters how the school district had failed, covered up its failure, and was still not taking school safety seriously. We fought hard to elect someone who would fight for accountability and change. I don’t think America has ever seen a school board race like it.
This book is about exposing what went wrong in the schools so that parents across the country can learn from the MSD tragedy, find out what’s happening in their own kids’ schools, and keep their kids safe. School safety shouldn’t have to be political. But I will say this: If, after the most avoidable school shooting in American history, leaders aren’t held accountable and lessons aren’t learned; if the idea that leaders should be held accountable or lessons should be learned has become politically incorrect; and if a school shooting is only permitted to become a partisan issue that divides our country further, then society is basically over.
I want you to read this book, to learn, to think for yourself, and then to take action to make our schools safe again. Because whatever you think about me or my politics, this isn’t really my book. It’s the story of how a group of strangers came together to figure out why this tragedy happened and do something about it. And above all, this is Meadow’s story. Because she’ll never have her own story after high school. A sick psychopath, created by a sicker system, took her from us. But Meadow was smart. She was tough. She was always willing to call out bullshit, and she’d always get what she wanted. She’s still on my shoulder saying, “Daddy, keep going.”
Meadow wants me to expose everything. And she wants us to #Fixit.
—Andy Pollack