Chapter 19

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“Glad to see you decided to live,” Carryn said with a brief smile. “What is it, Marc?”

“Half a mutiny,” he said, wincing as he spoke. Everything hurt. Shalis, who sat with him, squeezed his hand.

“Meaning? I don’t really have time—”

“If you don’t watch him, he’ll walk out the door, take a ship, and leave,” he said and that gave her pause. She didn’t believe it at first, but then she nodded. “Maralt pushed him. Hard, Carryn. He’s not going to be able to listen to reason. Everyone else is going to go along with him, right or wrong, because they are so angry about what happened, about Xavier and Roth, and what Maralt did to Garan, they can’t see where the mistakes are being made.”

“And you can?” she asked.

“Whatever you’re not telling him is one of them. Trying to convince him he has to wait for Alexia and Creal is another. It’ll kill him to wait here. The only thing that’s going to save you, him, the whole damn operation, is movement, slow and in small increments toward Cobalt where he won’t notice so much the passage of time. Start with that first thing, tell him what he needs to know, and it might make the difference between all of us living and all of us dying like you keep seeing.”

“Habit,” she said. “Fear and knowledge of things to come. If I tell him everything I know, the world could end. So, how does one decide?”

“Carefully,” Marc said, believing her. “Better ahead of time, than when it’s happening, when there’s no recourse but to react.”

“That’s the point,” she said, but she didn’t seem so certain anymore. “Maybe it’s true, what I so much want to be true, that he’s strong enough. I saw fear of it in Maralt. For the first time. He was afraid of Dynan. If I’m wrong though and Maralt only made me think he’s afraid in the hopes that I’ll say something that will tilt the balance of destiny toward him, I’d rather err on the side of caution.”

“And that’s convoluted to the point of paralysis, Carryn, by what you don’t know,” Marc said. “None of us have all the answers. The future isn’t decided. Not yet.”

She agreed with that, but Marc couldn’t tell if she could take the advice. “I’ll go see what I can do about this semi-revolt you’re worried about.”

“You better hurry, or it’ll be a full blown charge, the consequences be damned.”

He watched her leave, afraid she wouldn’t hurry enough. Shalis curled up next to him, nestling her head against his shoulder and hugging his arm. “Do you always have those kind of conversations with her, where neither of you really know what you’re saying to each other?”

Marc laughed at that and all the circumspect ambiguity they so frequently used with each other. Carryn was a master of the vague and imprecise. It was maddening, but true at the same time. Through Dynan, he’d seen the vision of the Throne Room. Even then it seemed like a piece of the tableau was missing. It was Carryn’s vision, or so it seemed, but Marc wondered if it wasn’t Maralt’s. It had an outside source kind of feel to it, but he didn’t know enough about her other visions to tell what was different about this one. Thinking about it made him tired and gave him a headache.

When he opened his eyes again, Dynan sat at the foot of the bed, staring at the monitors overhead. There was a kind of anger there that Marc hadn’t ever expected to see directed at him. Dynan grew angrier still when he realized Marc was watching him.

“Glad to see you decided to stay with us,” he said, mirroring Carryn’s earlier sentiment without seeming to mean it. The words were halfhearted.

Marc watched him for a moment longer, his own smile less than genuine before nodding. “When are you leaving?”

“Tonight. How did you know?”

“I didn’t think you’d wait and I didn’t think Carryn would be able to talk you out of it.”

“You think I should be talked out of it?”

“No, that’s not what I said.”

Dynan stood, backing toward the door. “I have a meeting. I just wanted to see how you were doing.” He nodded before abruptly leaving the room.

Marc watched him go, thinking that he knew why Dynan was angry. There wasn’t really anything he could do about it. He couldn’t be blamed for what didn’t and couldn’t have happened two years ago with Dain. He was lucky to be alive and knew it.

He breathed, relishing the sensation and the fact that it didn’t cause him any pain. With each subsequent attack he survived, he thought he’d experienced the utmost pain he could tolerate, each time proving himself wrong. He shook his head and tried not to think about it.

He realized he was angry too. It was a slow, simmering boil that his life was nearly taken away, and he found in that anger a new resolve. He wanted to see this through to the end. Whether or not Dynan accepted it, he would need help fighting Maralt and his carefully schemed plan.

His own death was part of it. There was something else there, something, or perhaps someone, he couldn’t quite put a name to. Whatever, or whoever it was, also played a central role in Maralt’s schemes. There remained the nagging sensation of missing information. They needed to learn what it was.

He also felt his presence would be especially important. Maybe it was personal gratification he sought, but he wanted to see Maralt’s expression when he saw that Marc was alive and realized that his plans weren’t nearly so perfect.

Marc breathed deeply, surprised and again thankfully lucky that the long gash across his middle was only deep in a few places. He shivered then, an involuntary reaction to memory; the talon, dripping with thick ooze, lowering with deliberate slowness, then cutting through skin.

From stem to stern, he thought, pushing the covers down. He felt lucky that his insides were still where they were supposed to be. He raised himself to his elbows, waiting to see what happened. A small pain in the gut cautioned him to move slowly. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, using momentum to help him sit up. Nothing really screamed at him, tore, or otherwise came un-patched.

“What are you doing?”

He looked over and saw Shalis watching him. She’d moved to the other bed in the interim, probably so she wouldn’t get caught sleeping with Marc. “I’m seeing how it feels to sit up,” he answered. He considered it. “And it’s not all that bad.” The small pain grew to a medium sized one, running from hip to shoulder. “Not that great either.”

Shalis rose, crossing to his side. “You shouldn’t even be awake, Marc. Lie back down.”

“Dynan is leaving tonight and I have to go with him. I’ve got to be on my feet by then.”

“Pushing your strength to the limit so quickly isn’t the way to go about it.” She gave him a gentle push. “Conserve.”

He thought about it for a moment, and gave in. The medium pain threatened to grow to a large encompassing one. “All right but you shouldn’t be up either.” He eased himself back into several pillows, smiling as Shalis pulled the bed covers up and around him. She smiled in return, sitting beside him and took his hand.

“I don’t want you to go.”

He nodded to that, acutely aware of how afraid she was of everyone dying. “I have to anyway.”

“This doesn’t seem like Dynan at all. He was always the one to think things over before deciding what to do. He has it so firmly in mind that Loren is going to die that he’s only going so he can die with her.”

He couldn’t deny that either. “That’s why I have to go.”

“And how, exactly, are you supposed to survive it when you can barely sit up.”

“I feel all right.”

“Yes, but it doesn’t seem possible that you could recover so quickly. You weren’t awake all night wondering if you would live or die.”

“Maralt made a mistake. I have to keep getting in his way. He keeps trying to kill me and he keeps failing. I have to make sure he knows that he’s failed again. Keep him off balance somehow. The only way I know to do that is to show up when he won’t be expecting me.”

“Do you think he knows what’s happened between us?” Shalis asked, her eyes lowering.

“He didn’t pay much attention to me once he had me. Just used me to get to Dynan.”

“He won’t like it if he finds out how close we’ve become.”

“The fact that you’re alive is eating at him. So I hope he does find out.”

“That puts you in a lot of danger.”

“I’ll be all right. I’m more worried about Dynan.”

Shalis nodded. “You realize if something happens to him, I’ll be in the same position he’s in now, about who I can be with. At least until Garan is of age. I’ll have to be Regent.”

“Then I’ll just have to make sure nothing happens to Dynan, won’t I?” He smiled at her, then pulled her down beside him, holding her. “And Dynan was worried we wouldn’t get along.”

“You know he is my big brother. He’s not likely to—”

“Approve?” Marc laughed. “He’ll just have to get over it.” He stifled a yawn then, triggering one in Shalis. One of the after-effects of an adept attack that he had yet to conquer. Extreme exhaustion. “Sorry. Looks like you need to sleep more than I do.”

Geneal entered the room and shook her head. “No, not more,” she said, eyeing Shalis. She moved to the bedside and took Marc’s wrist in hand, indicating to Shalis that she should move back to the other bed. Shalis only frowned at her. “There is another room across the way where you should be,” Geneal said when Shalis didn’t move. She received an impertinent Royal frown, but she got up.

Marc looked up at Geneal as she administered to him. “You know, I’m feeling a lot better.”

“Don’t start,” she said. “I know Dynan is planning on leaving tonight. I know you want to go with him. I’m still thinking about it and we’ll see.”

“Are you going?” he asked, undaunted by her tone.

“Yes.”

“Will Shalis be all right here without you?”

“Medically? Yes, she’ll be fine. It won’t be so easy emotionally if you won’t be here.”

“She understands.”

“I’m sure she says so. It won’t be easy. Sleep while you can, Marc. No arguments. No one else will be in here to bother you. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Will you bring me a new set of clothes?” he dared ask.

Geneal eyed him briefly. “I said we’ll see.” She hesitated. “I should warn you about Dynan.”

Marc nodded. “I know.”

“Give him a chance to figure this out for himself, Marc.”

“I think I understand well enough what he feels like right now. Maralt pushed him pretty hard.”

“He pushed you too. We’re all the walking wounded right now. I’ll be back in a few hours and I’ll decide then whether you’re going or not.”

Geneal left them and the moment she closed the door, Shalis got up and got back in bed with him. “You’re going to get me in trouble.”

“I’m allowed,” she said, pulling an extra set of covers up around her. She fit herself back into the crook of his arm and smiled. “I don’t want to be away from you.”

He kissed her forehead and agreed. He would have said so, but a soft knock came at the door, followed by Gaden Ahreld peering in. “Sorry,” he said and came in. “I wanted to talk to you. To you both.”

Marc thought he knew what this was going to be about and discovered Shalis thought the same thing. He nodded, pointing to the end of the bed. Gaden rubbed his hands, bit his lip, and sat down.

“It’s okay, Gaden,” Marc said, hoping to put him at ease.

“Not really,” he said. “I mean, you two are fine with me. Not that you need my permission, obviously. I’m just ... I don’t know what I’m saying. You know everything, don’t you?”

“That you slept with her when she was twelve?” Marc said, his narrowing over it. “Yes, I found that out.”

Shalis heaved a sigh. “He was only fourteen. We were both children and we didn’t know what we were doing.”

Marc laughed at that. “I’m not making a judgment.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Make it or not,” Gaden said, “I don’t have a problem with what happened. I said yes. She said yes and everything that happened after that happened, and it was great. I’m not ashamed of it. Yes, we were very young. That’s not why I’m here.”

“All right,” Marc said, wondering what he was here for then.

“I’ve managed to keep Dynan from knowing about this all these years. I mean, back then when we were together, I thought I was as good as dead. When they found out that I kissed her that was the end of it. Dain, Dynan, Kamien, and then all the Surrogates came to me and said no.”

“I knew it,” Shalis said.

“You can imagine what fun that was. I lived in terror of them making the bigger discovery. As far as I know, they never found out. I’d really like to keep it that way with Dynan. That’s all I wanted to say.”

“All right. Sure. I won’t be the one to tell him.” Marc shook his head, not really caring about something that happened so far in the past, but at the same time an almost irrational desire to get up and beat the crap out of Gaden threatened to take hold. It was a sensation that seemed to come from without and weren’t his own feelings. He shook his head over it.

“That’s all I want,” Gaden said and Shalis heaved another sigh. “And don’t tell Boral either. Please.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” Marc said.

“You better not,” Shalis said and sat up to look down on him, before she turned to Gaden. “You know I was with Maralt later. I had to and I want you to know the only thing that made it endurable, Gaden, was thinking of you instead. I always did.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m here. I’m alive. I survived it, due in some part to you. You’ve always treated me the way I wanted you to, not because you had to, but because you liked to be around me. When you gave me a compliment, you really meant it. I was completely in love with you for it. So if Dynan finds out and gets upset, which he has no right to do, just so you know, I will set him straight.”

Marc laughed at that and Gaden found a smile. “I don’t doubt you will,” he said. “But I still don’t want him to know.”

“Yes, yes, I know. He won’t.” She leaned back, pulling the covers up again.

Marc waved him to the door. “We have to sleep.”

“Right. Thanks Marc,” Gaden said and moved to leave them. “Your Highness.”

“Go away.”

“You coming with us, Marc?”

He nodded to that. “I am coming with you.”