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Chapter 40
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They sat in a room of stone, empty of furniture except the two chairs they occupied. Carryn adjusted her robes, feeling the ache of her injuries. She was healing, but slowly. She still wasn’t sure of the wisdom of this course of action she’d chosen, or had been chosen for her. She fought an intense desire to go to the Palace, but tried to keep in mind the reasons she’d been told she couldn’t.
“Shall we begin again,” her tutor said. His name was Morr. He was a trained seeker, which meant he was able to help Carryn search her memories for anything her master might find useful. Having two people do this instead of Carryn simply relating the recent experiences of her life was faster and more accurate.
It was also extraordinarily difficult. Morr wasn’t a telepath. While Carryn had been taught all her life that entering a non-telepathic mind wasn’t to be done, with Morr it was condoned and encouraged. Carryn found it difficult to put those teachings aside, even though it was a sanctioned act. It felt strange too, allowing anyone that kind of access to her own thoughts.
“It would help if I knew what we were looking for,” Carryn said as mildly as she could. Everyone else seemed to manage the required placid demeanor with far less difficulty than she usually felt.
“We’re looking for truth. Open your mind to me.”
Carryn obeyed, though with the usual resistance she’d been chided about before. Here, in this place, there shouldn’t be any need for any barriers, except she’d spent too many years cultivating a highly effective guard against attack. She found it extremely difficult to simply drop what had kept her alive for so long.
“You’re getting better at this,” she was told.
“Thank you.”
“From where we left off?”
“Yes.” Carryn remembered that easily enough. As demanded, she’d been recounting every detail she could recall of the years spent in exile. Exhausting work, she discovered, as many of those memories were difficult to not just relive, but probe every detail. She wasn’t supposed to ask why, but couldn’t help wondering, even as she allowed the intrusion. They’d reached the time of the coinciding attack on Marc, Dynan, and herself, and stopped for rest. Now she took up the retrospection from there.
She was stopped many times, mind probed to the point she felt almost violated. Morr always stopped when that emotion surfaced, apologized, and moved on.
“There is a strong block here,” Morr informed her. “Around the entire event.”
Carryn nodded, well aware of it. She had tried on a few occasions to get beyond the obstructing wall on her own and always found it impossible.
“Not of your doing,” she was told.
“No.”
“Then who?”
“I always thought it was my brother.”
“No, not him. Another.”
That revelation shouldn’t have come as a surprise to her, remembering her fears that another adept existed among them and recalling her denial of it as well. She realized that there was another adept, living when she thought him dead. Dain Telaerin.
“Dain Telaerin lives and breathes at the Palace. This is reminiscent of a joining. At the time, he was too far to contact you in this way.”
“Was he? Or did Maralt bring him when he went to Cadal?”
“A possibility. Dangerous though, to bring the twins so close together.”
“Maralt was torturing him.” Carryn felt that so strongly, remembering the pain she felt, the fear and dread. She understood it now, and saw it more clearly for what it was. “He was trying to get away.”
“A forced joining? If this is true, the High Bishop will need to examine the possibility.”
“Not forced. I allowed it.”
“Why?”
“Because...” She hesitated. “I don’t know why. I just did it. I thought I needed to.”
“And why would you think you needed to open yourself to such an intrusion without knowing who it was at the time, or the purpose behind it?”
“He was desperate.”
“You know that now. But then?”
“He pulled in so fast and hid himself, that I felt I shouldn’t question it. I didn’t.”
“The High Bishop needs to know of this.”
“I’m going to try and reach him.”
“You shouldn’t. This complicates—”
“Complications or not, I’m going to. If Dain is here, he may be able to help us. If not, he must be returned. Dain Telaerin doesn’t live and breathe at the Palace. My brother does, subjugating Dain’s will for his own survival. He rejects the most basic of our tenets. Such an abomination shouldn’t be allowed.”
“And you think I’m not aware of this.”
Carryn quickly reined down her anger and felt her teacher’s gentle admonishment more keenly. They were always telling her to work harder on controlling her temper. “Forgive me.”
“The High Bishop should be told of this possibility before any contact is attempted. The consequences must be studied and logically thought through. If Dain is indeed present within your mind, then the exact methods he used to get there should be examined. If it is deemed he used force, there may be no alternative but to efface his presence. The High Bishop alone will make that determination.”
Carryn nodded, emptying her mind of all the arguments she felt forming. “Shall we go on then?”
“No. I feel this must be resolved. You know so little. It is very dangerous to carry the persona of another inside yourself for so long. He may have been forcing his will to yours all this time without you ever knowing it.”
“Not Dain.”
“You wouldn’t believe it so, naturally. He obviously wouldn’t want you to know. Remain here. I will speak with the High Bishop now.”
Carryn waited until he’d physically left the room and that the mental contact between them was fully broken. She concentrated, searching her mind for the familiar barrier, and found it quickly. “Come out. Dain, I know you’re in there. Come out and let me see you.”
She felt the slightest decrease in resistance and moved closer. A crack appeared, the merest slit opening. Carryn smiled and waited him out. She felt the courage it took him to do this much, and didn’t want to press him. Though she felt a need for quick action, she wouldn’t do anything to force him to go any faster.
“You’re safe.”
“None of us are safe,” came the slow answer. “None of us.”
“We’re protected here. Maralt doesn’t know I’m here.” Dain looked at her and the wall vanished around him. Carryn smiled, holding out her hand. Slowly, Dain took it. Carryn pulled him in, held him, reveling in the fact that he lived, that this part of him at least was safe from Maralt’s tortures. “I thought we lost you for good, and then again when I saw what Maralt did to you. I’m so sorry, Dain. For not knowing.”
“How could you? It doesn’t matter now anyway. How is Dynan? Is he all right?”
“He fights to live. I don’t think he’s ever stopped that battle since you were taken from him.”
“I have to go to him, Carryn.”
“I know you want to, but at the moment that’s impossible. I think it would be too much for him right now. Dain, he may not survive.”
“He won’t if you leave Maralt up there in the Palace with him. I have to go.”
“Not now. Marc is there. You don’t know him.”
“I know him well enough. I’m with him too. It’s hard to tell from here.”
“With him? How?” She thought she knew.
“I don’t know.” He looked around the room they inhabited in Carryn’s mind, identical to the one her body resided in. Dain frowned at the surroundings. “Where are we?”
For a moment, Carryn thought to go somewhere else, to avoid the High Bishop, but again, knew that was forbidden. She thought she might be in a bit of trouble for this action. “A safe place. I can’t tell you. It’s forbidden for you to know just yet, and I’m likely to get in trouble for letting you out.”
“Why aren’t you at the Palace? I don’t understand.”
“You will in time. I’m doing everything I can to help them,” she said. Another thought occurred. She remembered seeing the two lights within Dynan. “You’re with him too, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“The three of us.” She nodded. “Maralt must have had you on board the destroyer when he attacked you.”
“I was on Muri.”
“You couldn’t have been. He may have wanted you to believe it, so you wouldn’t know how close to Dynan you really were. Otherwise what you did wouldn’t be possible. There are limits, you know, though you’ve stretched the boundaries by your actions farther than we thought possible. There will be another to talk to you about this soon. Don’t fight him. He won’t hurt you. He has to know how you accomplished this.”
“I don’t know how. I ran, that’s all. I was trying to get away. I found you. I found Dynan and this Marc fellow. That’s all I know.”
“How did you get inside without our knowing it?”
“Self preservation? I saw what he was going to make me do. I couldn’t stay and let him. I couldn’t.”
“Most of you didn’t it would seem. This is beyond my understanding, Dain, which is why you should allow him to see. He’ll be able to tell what you did and how you did it.”
“Perhaps you should have remembered that before you took it upon yourself to find out,” the High Bishop said, entering her mind. “You go too far, Carryn Adaeryn.”
Carryn felt Dain’s surprise both when she bowed her head in obeisance and that the High Bishop of Cobalt stood before them. She was surprised Gradyn revealed himself. Dain didn’t understand it, but he felt the power of the man, and feared what he would do to him. Carryn wished she had more time to assure him of his safety. He could leave her, just as easily as he had come in.
“What are you doing here?” Dain asked of him. “Where are we?”
“You’re in the temple, Dain,” Gradyn said and then frowned. “He is not complete.”
Carryn nodded. “He says he is also with his brother and Marc Talryn.”
Carryn saw by the High Bishop’s expression that this was unusual indeed, felt his curiosity growing, and hoped he would forgive her impatience. The High Bishop grunted, glancing at her briefly before approaching Dain. “Will you submit to me?”
Dain backed up a pace and Carryn moved in front of him. “A difficult question to pose so quickly. You’re aware of what’s been done to him.”
“Do you protect him from me?”
“I’m not afraid of you,” Dain said when he was.
“From himself,” she said and held a hand up to stop Dain. “I submit to you because I understand you. He does not. Will you allow him that understanding, or take my word that he didn’t use force to save himself?”
“I’ve been told this, but I’m not sure how that could have been possible. You don’t understand what this could change.”
“I allowed it. I must have known on some level that it was him. I would never reject such a plea for help from him.”
“I need to see it, to be certain, Carryn.”
“Then you may find him not so much unwilling as unable. He knows me. Perhaps if you allow me to show you.”
The High Bishop plainly didn’t approve, but nodded anyway. “Very well. You may begin.”
Carryn held out her hand to Dain again. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. No matter the consequences.” She looked to Gradyn Vall, who responded with a frown of weariness. Carryn thought this might be the last indulgence she would be allowed. “Come with me, Dain.”
