Stretching his arms behind his back, Rhain watched the men dismount and Helissent walk slowly to the woods to relieve herself.
She moved more slowly than she had yesterday and he knew she was hurting. As he had before, he didn’t acknowledge her pain or injuries.
But he couldn’t ignore it. He was too aware of her hurting and it pained him. What could he do? He knew what happened the last time he touched her and he wouldn’t order the task to someone else. Not after he felt as he did when Carlos stood too close to her.
He might not be able to ignore her, but he could ignore his men’s glares as he sat on a boulder and pulled out his mother’s necklace from the pouch around his waist.
This necklace had been his focus for five years and would be for what remained of his life. As ever when he saw the silver glinting, everything came flooding back to him. The way his mother was in the last moments of her life, bloodied and in pain.
‘Did you have to behave that way with her?’
He didn’t raise his head at Nicholas’s taunt, nor did he put the necklace away. Nicholas, who only knew he searched for the pendant, but not why, had seen it many times before.
‘A few kind words would not go unnoticed by her…or the men.’
He should have known Nicholas wouldn’t walk away. The man was relentless, forging in where he didn’t belong, where it wasn’t safe to go. It lost him an eye once and still he did it.
‘She demanded she travel with us and I allowed that.’
‘Travel with us, but not to be ordered about. Last night you stormed into the camp and ate like some brute. She made that delicious soup and you didn’t even thank her. Instead you pointed to her and demanded her to get on with her own business because she was slowing everyone down.’
He had been rude. Something about the woman chafed him with emotions he hadn’t felt in years, if ever. He was no better than his brother had been when he met his wife.
His brother…his cousin. Would he never learn or remember? He had no brother. His life wasn’t what it once was; he wasn’t what he once was. Apparently it didn’t matter when the emotions were the same and all of them futile.
She hadn’t been slowing them down. With the fire going and the food cooked, they’d readied the horses and themselves far more quickly than they would have on their own. As a result, they left earlier today and were almost to Tickhill Castle.
But all her helpfulness didn’t matter when he’d seethed with jealously all evening and might have got even less sleep. All because Carlos had at first backed away from her, only to then step in front of Helissent as if to protect her…from him.
He had burned to confront the man, but instead forced himself to ignore the implied meaning and then watched as Carlos gave Helissent his blanket and shared kind words and his attention.
He shouldn’t care. They would soon arrive in Tickhill, which was just as good a place to leave her. They didn’t have to travel to York. He’d be rid of her and the complications she represented.
‘It may be a fortnight before we reach York,’ Nicholas said. ‘Even you couldn’t be that cruel for that long.’
He couldn’t be that cruel now as he searched the woods for her return. His eyes had been drawn to Helissent as she readied for bed last night, too. As she sang a song absent-mindedly under her breath. Quietly, haltingly, he knew she wasn’t aware that she sang it.
It was a song he didn’t know even though he heard her sing it in such a way at the inn. A song he was certain no one would comprehend simply because Helissent sang the song so abysmally, it would have hurt his ears if she sang it any louder.
The other men noticed as well, but they simply gave her amused looks. He couldn’t seem to keep his eyes away from her. The song did something to her features, calmed her in a way that wasn’t there before and it only intrigued him.
When Nicholas cleared his throat, he returned his gaze to his friend.
‘We should arrive in Tickhill before evening,’ he said.
Nicholas’s lips thinned. ‘So that’s the way of it. Does she know?’
‘There’s no point. Tickhill has what she needs.’
‘But certainly not you, or me and what the men need. We already agreed to avoid the castle in case Reynold had spies there.’
‘We can’t ignore it now since I won’t take her to York. She’ll have a place to sleep and kitchens to cook in. Everything she could find in York.’
‘As well as your benevolence since the King owns it. You’ll no doubt assure she’s taken…and kept inside.’
‘She won’t be a prisoner there.’
‘No. But Tickhill happens to be the most formidable fortress in this entire region with highly trained soldiers for protection.’
‘She doesn’t need protection, or didn’t you take care of those men well enough?’
‘I won’t rise to that taunt.’ Nicholas crossed his arms. ‘If you feel this strongly about dropping her so soon, I wonder why you brought her in the first place. You didn’t even tell her what you did that night.’
‘Tell her what? That I gave the villagers coin to care for her? Shatter what little pride she has because people had to be paid to be kind to her?’ It still burned Rhain that he’d had to do it, when those people should have cared for her regardless of his money. ‘Plus, you know that money gives no guarantee that they could actually protect her. It was merely a…precaution.’
‘A precaution that alleviated your guilt for leaving her.’
‘I have no guilt; her travelling with us practically guarantees Reynold will kill her.’
‘Consequently, you leave her to Tickhill’s care. She won’t agree to it, you know. She said she wanted York and she doesn’t act like a woman who would settle for something she doesn’t want.’
No, she didn’t, but it would be safer for her in Tickhill. The more time she spent with him and his men meant more time Reynold could discover her.
‘She’s never seen Tickhill, perhaps it would suit her.’
‘It would certainly suit you,’ Nicholas said. ‘You and I know why your temper’s too finely honed, but that woman, who was brave enough to fight those men, and the punishing pace of travelling here, does not.’
‘I am no more nor less than I’ve been.’ He forced his hand to stop clenching the necklace. ‘And I have no time for your amusements.’
‘Ah, but I’m wondering if you intend to lock me up in Tickhill to protect me as well. But until that delightful point, we have a half-a-day’s ride full of tension, resentment and anger ahead of us.’
‘All the more reason to leave her at Tickhill. And I thank you for the idea of leaving you behind, too.’
‘It’s not her who will continue this discord, it’s you. The men don’t like how you treat her.’
‘I don’t care what they think as long as they obey orders.’
‘You know orders don’t work with them. It’s the only reason they’ve banded together instead of tearing themselves apart, or setting their sights on tearing apart this country.’
Rhain’s gaze returned to the necklace in his hand. The workmanship was exquisite, but he hardly saw it without deathly images. The mercenaries’ skills were like the workmanship of the necklace, beautiful and deadly. ‘I earned the right to lead them.’
‘One on one, yes, and your connections have made the venture most profitable for them. But if you keep your frowns, they may mutiny.’
Rhain wasn’t used to Nicholas mincing words. It had always been he who used words for weapons, for prodding. Who pieced them together because he liked the way they flowed. Until that day when all words were yanked out of him and he practically choked on the lie his life was.
When he learned his brother was in fact his cousin and his mother and father weren’t Lord and Lady Gwalchdu. When he learned he was a bastard with a terrible secret flowing through his blood.
‘Tell me what you want and get it over with.’
‘Isn’t it obvious?’ Nicholas said. ‘She is a lone woman, but injured and has suffered greatly in the past. Instead of being afraid of mercenaries, she’s tended their wounds and fed their bellies. Hence my counsel to you is stop frowning at her unless you intend to get killed by them instead of Reynold.’
He didn’t frown at her any more than anyone else. It was the situation, the outstanding questions of his family that might never be put to rest, that shortened his temper. It wasn’t the woman or the attention of his men.
Yet, it still burned in his gut remembering how Carlos looked at her, how she touched his arm to inspect his wound…
Nicholas chuckled. ‘I like watching you struggle. It’s refreshing.’
Rhain knew he frowned then. ‘You think I like her.’
‘I know you like her; in fact, I’d wager that it’s something else. I don’t blame you, she can cook like no one I’ve ever known. Imagine what her fare would be like if she had a decent kitchen, and money for finer ingredients.’
‘You think I like her for her food?’
Her food was exceptional, even when it consisted of only dried meat and water. But it wasn’t the food that made him watch her. It was her. After he tasted her soup, he knew why she stayed bent over the flames though it pained her. He could taste it with every bite; she loved cooking.
‘So it’s some other reason you growl and bite?’ Nicholas’s expression feigned thought. ‘Is it her wounded manner? Or how she carries on even though you know she hurts and yet she’s brave and strong and…sweet.’
Rhain clenched the necklace and welcomed the bite of the metal. A part of him seethed at Nicholas’s words.
The other part feared Nicholas wanted her for all those reasons he listed. Or even Carlos. Carlos, who didn’t have Devil’s blood in him, and didn’t have a madman after his head. Carlos, who had money and could care for Helissent the way he never could. Why was he thinking he ever could? He deserved no one and would release her to someone else’s care at the earliest opportunity in case he forgot…or lost whatever fight was going on inside him.
To do so, he had a simple plan. To praise the benefits of Tickhill until she thought it her own idea to stay.
‘Leave me alone in this. You know even if it’s true, I can do nothing. We jeopardize her enough as it is without someone overhearing this conversation that could be interpreted in the wrong way.’
‘Interpreted by whom? By Reynold and his spies? Are you saying if it wasn’t for Reynold, you would be different than you’ve been for five years? All this time, women have been rubbing against you and you haven’t spared them a glance. Yet with her you are. You even listen to that dreadful song she constantly sings.’
‘Enough,’ he growled. ‘I’m a dead man, why bother with these questions?’
‘Because you’re a dead man and for some reason you’re coming alive again.’