IT WAS DURING the next morning, while George Steele was doing a round, that Tabitha learned that Marius would be operating on four days that week, and when she enquired why, George mentioned that Mr van Beek was due to go on a short lecture tour in five days’time and intended to clear as much of the waiting list as he could before he went.
‘Oh,’ said Tabitha, ‘he’s not coming back! Will you be able to manage on your own, George?’
She didn’t really care in the least if George could manage or not, but she had to say something—anything, to take her mind off the fact that Marius was going away and she wouldn’t see him.
‘Of course he’s not going,’ said George patiently. ‘Only for a week—Sweden, I believe—it was arranged long before he heard from Mr Raynard. He’ll come back and take over again until the Old Man’s on his feet.’
The Old Man himself substantiated George’s statement himself when Tabitha paid him her morning visit. He was sitting up in bed, surrounded by an untidy welter of case notes, screwed-up pieces of paper, several lists and a calendar. He thrust an impatient arm out as she approached the bed and shot most of the clutter on to the floor.
‘Tut-tut,’ said Tabitha severely, ‘you’re by far the untidiest patient we’ve ever had.’ She picked everything up, sorted it neatly and laid the little pile back on the bed.
He glowered at her. ‘Stuff,’ he tapped the lists with an impatient finger. ‘I want to get these sorted out for Marius—you’ve a busy week ahead of you, my girl, so make up your mind to that.’
Tabitha tucked a pillow in exactly where he needed it most. ‘I don’t mind,’ she said sunnily, and gave him a broad smile because Marius was coming back and so the day had turned into something wonderful; a week would go quickly enough, and however hard Mr Raynard tried, he wasn’t going to be fit to return to work for quite a while yet.
Mr Raynard gave her a suspicious look. ‘What have you got to look so pleased about?’ he demanded. ‘Had a weekend in Paris?’
Before Tabitha could reply to this pleasantry, Marius spoke from the door.
‘Not Paris, or for that matter, a weekend. Just a very delightful day swimming and doing nothing. We enjoyed ourselves.’ He smiled and gave her a friendly nod and then ignored her, going over to the bed to pick up the lists scattered upon it. He cast his eye over the first of them and asked: ‘Which days shall you want me to operate? I’d rather like to be free on Thursday.’ He looked at Tabitha as he spoke. ‘Sister?’
‘That’s fine,’ she said quickly. She had a day off herself on Thursday. She stood silently, wondering how he was going to spend his day. Mr Raynard did more than wonder; he asked: ‘Got plans, eh? What are you going to do?’
‘That is something I shall leave my companion to decide,’ said Mr van Beek smoothly, and gave Tabitha the ghost of a smile. She went away presently, a prey to chaotic thoughts. Could he possibly be going to ask her out again—he could have found out that she was free on Thursday easily enough; the off duty list was in the office. Even as she savoured this delectable idea, her common sense told her that it was extremely unlikely. She went into the office and stared at her face in the mirror on the wall.
‘What a fool you are,’ she chided her reflection. All the same, she decided to buy the bikini that very day; if she missed dinner she would have time enough.
She got back to work with a bare minute to spare to find Marius in the office, sitting at her desk. As she went in he got to his feet, remarking idly: ‘What a lot of housekeeping you appear to do—doesn’t it bore you?’
She took the sewing book, the repair book and the request for repair book from his hand. A little breathless, she stammered: ‘No—not at all—at least…’
He didn’t allow her to finish. ‘You’ve been shopping?’
She went faintly pink, although she kept her voice matter-of-fact enough.
‘Yes. On theatre days I always have an evening, you see, and the shops are shut by the time I get away.’
He nodded and then pointed out. ‘But you have days off, don’t you? Surely you could shop then?’
She wasn’t going to tell him that she spent those, or the greater part of them, helping Meg to give the flat a weekly clean. Meg wasn’t old, but neither was she all that young any more. Without the subject being mentioned between them, Tabitha had gradually taken over the heavier jobs, which weren’t all that arduous in the little flat, but they took time, and when they were finished she usually took Meg out for a run in the car. Her days off weren’t exciting, nor were they wholly her own.
Marius was at the door. ‘Nice of you not to make a fuss about Thursday,’ and when she lifted her nondescript brows in surprise, he went on: ‘Oh, you could have done, you know. Not enough staff—altering the off duty, laundry not back—I can think of a dozen good reasons why you should object if you wish.’
Tabitha examined the laundry book in her hand with great care. ‘But I don’t object,’ she stated calmly—far more calmly than her heart was beating. ‘As it happens it’s most convenient, as I have the day off myself.’
Marius put his hands in his pockets. He said suavely: ‘Yes—I know. I looked at the list. What do you think of Knotty?’
The change of subject was so abrupt that she took a few seconds to adjust her thoughts. ‘He’s doing very nicely. There’s still a little discharge around the stitches, but he has almost no pain, and begs for crutches.’
Marius took his hands out of his pockets and opened the door.
‘Yes, he’s mad keen to get on his feet again. I should like him X-rayed, this week and—er—Mr Raynard too. Leave a couple of forms out, will you, and ask George to do the necessary.’
He nodded rather vaguely and went out, shutting the door gently behind him, and Tabitha sat down at her desk, still with the books clutched in one hand and the bag containing the new bikini in the other. She had been greatly daring telling him about her day off, and he had known all the time. If he had wanted to take her out, he had certainly had the opportunity to say so. But he hadn’t. She cast the books on the desk with a thump and flung the bag pettishly into the corner of the little room.
The next two days were busy; the lists were long and heavy, and, she thought wearily at the end of the first day, she might just as well not be there for all she saw of Marius. It was true he paid a visit to the ward after he had finished the list, but then he was his other self—the surgeon intent on his patients and nothing else; there was no trace of the placid, almost lazy man who talked idly about anything under the sun other than his work.
Wednesday was worse, because one of the student nurses had a sore throat and had to go off duty, and an emergency was admitted who died before anything other than emergency treatment could be done for him. Marius and George were operating when the case was admitted and although Marius had come down almost immediately, there was really nothing to be done. Tabitha, consoling the young wife as best she could over cups of tea in her office, was seized with frustration at the futility of their efforts, and when the girl’s mother arrived and she was able to hand her over to someone else’s care, she took the tea tray to the kitchen and washed up the cups and saucers, giving vent to her feelings by crashing and banging the crockery. She had just smashed the teapot into wet tea-leafy fragments all over the floor when Marius came in. She gave him a furious look, said ‘Oh, damn,’ and on the verge of tears, bent to clear up the mess. He bent to help her and after one look at her unhappy face, said gently:
‘I know how you feel. I’m sorry there was nothing to do for that poor chap.’ He shoveled the bits tidily into the bin under the sink and went on with deliberate briskness:
‘That first case—he bled a lot in theatre—I think he’ll be OK, but keep an eye on him, will you? George has all the details.’
He walked to the door and held it open for her and then went to the ward door and opened that for her too. She thought that he was going in with her, but he stayed where he was. He spoke casually. ‘I shall be seeing Mrs Crawley and Lilith tomorrow—have you any message for them?’
She remembered then that the next day was Thursday. She might have known that he would go and see Lilith, but all the same, disappointment left its bitter taste in her mouth. She had been a fool, indulging in wishful thinking; she wouldn’t do that again. She found her voice and was glad to hear its normality.
‘No, I can’t think of any, thank you. I hope you have a pleasant day.’
She gave him a brief glance and a smile that barely curved her mouth and flew into the ward.
Friday and Saturday followed the exacting pattern laid down by Tuesday and Wednesday. When she spoke to Marius, and that seldom, it was to do with the patients and nothing else, and on the Saturday evening when he came to do a final round after theatre and spent quite some time with Mr Bow and Mr Raynard, she was careful to be busy as far away from him as possible. So she only had herself to blame when from behind Mr Prosser’s curtains she heard Marius enquire from Betts where she was, and when Betts told him, his voice, telling the nurse not to disturb her but to convey his regards. She took so long over Mr Prosser afterwards that that astute gentleman actually fell as silent as she had become; only as at length she pulled the curtains back did he say: ‘Well, Sister, we’ll miss that Dutchman—a nice chap even though ’e’s a foreigner. I ’ear ’e’s coming back.’
Tabitha paused at the foot of the bed. ‘That’s right, Mr Prosser—he’s only going for a week.’
She was conscious, as she spoke, that she had said that as much to comfort herself as to enlighten Mr Prosser. Later on, when she was home, sitting with Podger on her knee, she had to admit to herself that as things were, it could make no difference whatsoever to her whether Marius was away for a week or a year. At least, she corrected herself, it could make no difference to him.
The week was unending, and made worse by a visit from Lilith one evening, ostensibly to bring some fruit from Chidlake—something she had never done before, and it was obvious to Tabitha within a very few minutes that it was more than the fruit which had brought her stepsister. Lilith settled down in her chair, accepted the cup of coffee she was offered and embarked on a meaningless chatter which Tabitha considered a waste of time. But she sat quietly, listening to Lilith’s talk forced as she did so to admit to herself that Lilith looked prettier than ever in a dress that must have cost a great deal of money. Tabitha sighed soundlessly; if only her father had left her provided for… She roused herself to hear Lilith say: ‘It was gorgeous—Marius is such fun even though he’s so much older, and we get on so well, just as though we’d known each other all our lives. He’s sweet with Mummy too, but of course it’s me he comes to see.’ She gave Tabitha a sharp look and Tabitha steeled herself to look serenely back.
‘Yes,’ she agreed, ‘he seems very nice. But isn’t he a little old for you, Lilith?’
She shouldn’t have said it. Lilith smiled, a smile very like her mother’s and one which Tabitha dreaded. ‘Sour grapes?’ she queried on a little laugh. ‘Poor Tabby, it must be ghastly to be as plain as you are.’ She studied Tabitha with her head on one side. ‘You’ve done something to your hair and I do believe you’ve got makeup on your eyes—how Mummy will laugh when I tell her! About Marius—I’m going to get him, you know. I’m not quite sure about marrying him, not until I know if he’s got enough money, but he’s marvelous at taking a girl out, and he looks at me—you know,’ she laughed again and murmured cruelly, ‘No, of course you wouldn’t know. He’s very interested in Chidlake too—he thinks I love it, but you just wait, if I do decide to marry him, we’ll never go near the place again. He can work in Wimpole Street or wherever it is.’ She broke off to ask: ‘How much do doctors earn—I mean doctors like Marius?’
A wave of rage swept over Tabitha. Here was Lilith coolly considering marriage with Marius and she didn’t know the difference between a doctor and a surgeon! She said evenly:
‘Mr van Beek is a surgeon—he specializes in orthopaedics. I have no idea what his income might be.’ She couldn’t resist adding: ‘How should I? I’m not in the habit of being on such friendly terms with the consultant staff.’ As she said it she recalled the Sunday she had spent with Marius; that at least was something Lilith didn’t know about. She said slowly: ‘Aren’t you being mercenary, Lilith?’
Her stepsister laughed. ‘What a fool you are, Tabby. Why shouldn’t I have an eye to the main chance? You’re quite soft with your silly out-of-date ideas. I shall marry someone with plenty of money, and if he’s as good-looking as Marius, so much the better.’ She got up and stretched. ‘I’m off—you’re not exactly lively company, are you, Tabby?’
‘Why did you come?’ Tabitha asked with curiosity.
Lilith giggled. ‘Oh, my dear, I should have thought of it, but when Marius was at Chidlake the other evening, we walked round the garden and he remarked that of course we kept you supplied with stuff from the garden. I said yes—I should have been a fool to have said anything else, shouldn’t I? Now I can tell him that I took you a whole basketful and he’ll think that I’m a sweet, thoughtful little sister and fall in love with me just a little bit more.’
Tabitha had nothing to say to this, although she longed to speak her mind, but if she did, there was the danger of Lilith guessing that Marius was something more than just another consultant. She held her tongue until Lilith had got into her sports car and driven away, and then went into the kitchen, where to her own surprise she burst into tears and mumbled the whole sad story into the ample comfort of Meg’s bosom. She felt better when she had told the whole; and sniffed and gulped for a little while before she spoke.
‘Oh, Meg, if only I were just a tiny bit pretty, so that he’d look at me—he looks at me now sometimes, but only because he’s giving me instructions about a patient or something, and even when we had that lovely day together he stared at me as though—as though he were sorry for me.’
‘Rubbish,’ said Meg. ‘Was he the one who told you to change your hair-style?’
Tabitha lifted a puffy face. ‘Yes—so you see…’
‘I see nothing, Miss Tabitha, but he must have looked at you long enough to have seen that a different way of doing your hair would make you look prettier.’
Tabitha sniffed. ‘Dear kind Meg—but don’t you see that he only said that because I’m Lilith’s stepsister and he wanted me to like him so that I’d be on his side? He may have thought that as I was older she would ask me for advice—about him, I mean—so that she’d fall in love with him.’
Meg said rubbish again, rather more forcibly. ‘Miss Lilith’s incapable of falling in love,’ she declared roundly, ‘and Mr van Beek, now he’s not a man to need pushing when he picks himself a wife.’ She handed Tabitha a large snowy handkerchief. ‘Dry your eyes, love, we’ll have a cup of tea and you’ll feel better; that girl always upsets you, drat her.’
She went to put the kettle on and busied herself laying a tray. ‘He’s always been very nice to you, Miss Tabby.’
Tabitha sat down at the table. She said in a stony little voice:
‘He’s nice to everyone, Meg—old and young and plain and ugly, even that awful woman where Mr Bow lived—you see, he’s kind. Sue says he never loses his temper while he’s operating, and he’s not impatient. The other day her new junior brushed against him and he had to re-scrub and re-gown, and he just told her not to worry—anyone else would have torn the poor girl apart. And the men like him.’
‘And you like him too, don’t you, love?’
Tabitha poured tea for the two of them. ‘Yes, Meg.’
Meg sipped her tea. ‘Love’s never wasted, Miss Tabby—there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it now, but there surely will be.’
Tabitha put down her cup. She had gone a little pale. ‘Meg, how did you know?’ She put her cup down with a little clatter in its saucer. ‘Meg—no one else—he—?’
‘No, Miss Tabby love, but I’ve known you all your life, haven’t I? I can’t help but know. But if you don’t want to talk about it I won’t say another word.’
There was no sign of Marius on Monday morning; it wasn’t theatre day, but there was the out-patients’ clinic at two o’clock; it looked as though George Steele would have to take it as well as examining the new patients who were filling the empty beds. Tabitha had had her coffee and was explaining for the hundredth time to Mr Bow why he couldn’t walk for a few more weeks when she heard the swing of the ward door and then Marius’s unhurried step, so that she had time enough to compose her face into its habitual calm before he reached her side. He said at once:
‘Are you very annoyed with me? I should have been here a great deal earlier.’
She achieved a smile, bade him a polite good morning and went on: ‘I hope your lecture tour was a success.’
‘I believe so—though I don’t feel I’m the one to ask. Is there anything new in?’ He wasn’t looking at her, but smiling at Knotty. Tabitha had turned away to ask Rogers to telephone George Steele, now she looked at Marius and said pleasantly: ‘Yes, sir. Mr Steele will be here in a minute. I expect you would like to talk to Mr Raynard.’
Mr van Beek’s mouth twisted at its corners, but all he said was:
‘To be sure I should. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to do a round, Sister.’
She nodded rather austerely and went away to get Jimmy on to his legs; he had a walking iron now, and a new, lighter plaster, and was going home that afternoon. Naturally enough, he was in tearing high spirits, so that Tabitha became a great deal more cheerful herself; she was chuckling over his grossly exaggerated picture of how he intended to stump down the aisle at his approaching wedding when he interrupted himself to say: ‘Of course you’ll come, won’t you, Sister—and you, sir?’
Tabitha hadn’t heard Marius—he was standing behind her and said readily enough: ‘Of course—I shall be delighted.’ He smiled at Tabitha, who pretended not to see. ‘That makes two invitations we have jointly accepted, does it not, Sister?’
Tabitha looked up from her task of fitting a thick sock over Jimmy’s large foot. ‘Two?’ she queried blankly, ‘jointly?’
Marius said gravely, his eyes twinkling: ‘Yes—this invitation we have just accepted for—when was it, Jimmy?—two weeks today—and Mr Prosser’s kind invitation to sample his fish and chips.’
She felt a little glow of pleasure spreading itself under her apron bib. ‘Oh, yes—I didn’t think you were serious.’
‘I was. When you are ready, Sister, I should like to do a round.’
The round proved to be a lighthearted affair. George, glad to have a load of work taken off his shoulders, was inclined to be talkative, Tommy was always cheerful anyway and Marius seemed glad to be back. Knotty and Mr Raynard, sitting propped up side by side, had been left until last and when the party reached them it seemed obvious that they were prepared to settle down to a lengthy chat with these two gentlemen. The vexed question as to how much longer both should stay had to be threshed out, and as for some reason best known to themselves, and presumably Marius, they wished to leave at the same time, it took a good deal of discussion for them all to arrive at a date some three weeks ahead. This done, the talk degenerated into a lively exchange of opinion on the joys of sailing, the vagaries of the weather as applied to that sport, and the uses of a pair of bumpkins on a small sailing boat. Tabitha, who hadn’t the least idea what these might be and in any case wanted to get on with the patients’ dinners, took a cautious step backwards in the hope that she could drift away unnoticed.
But not quite, for Marius said: ‘Yes, do go, Sister—we’re wasting your time, I’m afraid.’
Dinners were over and Tabitha, leaving Staff in charge, went to her own meal. The men had gone at last, still talking, nodding polite, rather vague thank-yous as they went. She had the impression that they hadn’t really seen her; whatever it was they had been talking about must have been of the most absorbing interest. Tabitha thought this over while she ate her cold beef and salad in an absentminded manner.
‘Sickening for something?’ Sue wanted to know. ‘You look peaky.’
It was Mary, the women’s medical ward sister, who asked: ‘Has that handsome Mr van Beek been running you off your feet? Not,’ she added, ‘that I would mind him running me off mine. I only see him in the distance—he looks fab.’
‘He is,’ put in Sue. ‘Every theatre sister’s dream come true, and nice with it—not exactly a lady’s man, though—none of that “Come hither, girl,” stuff. What do you say, Tabby?’
Tabitha agreed with her friend, thinking privately that it would be nice if she could have disagreed. She smiled at Sue as she spoke; she had a great many friends in hospital not one of whom had ever referred, even obliquely, to her plain face. Even now, Sue had managed to imply that she had as good a chance of having a pass made at her as the prettiest girl there. Tabitha suddenly felt almost pretty; it was surprising what a few kind words could do to a girl’s morale. She went back to the ward feeling positively thrilled.
The ward was fairly quiet; Tabitha caught up on her books and then spent an hour showing the newest student just how traction worked and why, and then because she was off at five she decided to have a cup of tea in the office and not go down to the dining room; she could be planning the next two weeks’ off duty while she drank it. She made her way up the ward and paused by Mr Raynard and Mr Bow, sitting with their heads bent over a map.
‘Planning to run away?’ she wanted to know.
Mr Raynard gave her a considered glance. ‘You might call it that,’ he agreed, ‘eh, Knotty?’
Mr Bow coughed. ‘Yes, I suppose one might put it like that. Tell me, Sister, how is my dear Podger doing? It is so kind of you to have him, I fear he may outstay his welcome.’
‘Not he,’ said Tabitha cheerfully. ‘He’s quite happy—or as happy as he can be without you. Meg loves him.’
‘Meg? Ah, yes, your companion and housekeeper. I am indebted to you both.’
‘He’s no trouble, Mr Bow. We’re glad to have him until you’re able to have him again.’
Mr Bow and Mr Raynard exchanged glances. Tabitha thought they looked like small boys bottling up a secret. ‘That, I hope, will not be too far distant, Sister,’ said Mr Bow. His rich sonorous voice sounded gleeful.
Tabitha prepared to move on. ‘I know,’ she replied, ‘three weeks at the earliest.’ She walked away and then came back to stand by Mr Bow once more. ‘I don’t know what your plans are, Mr Bow, but if you want any help I’ll be glad to do what I can, and if it’s beyond me, I’ll get the social worker to come and see you.’
Mr Bow smiled gently. ‘You are a kind and thoughtful young woman,’ he pronounced, ‘but I believe my future is already in good hands.’
Tabitha nodded and went on her way quickly, otherwise it might look as though she was curious—which she was. Marius had fixed things for his old friend, she supposed. Doubtless she would know nothing more until she was asked to return Podger. Perhaps Mr Bow was going to stay permanently with Marius, but this wasn’t a very fruitful line of thought because she hadn’t the least idea where he was living. He seemed to spend his weekends with the Johnsons, but he surely didn’t go to and fro each day, and he didn’t live in the hospital or she would have heard about it through the grapevine. She pulled the off duty book towards her and looked unseeingly at its neatly ruled pages, ready for her to fill in. She was aware that she was wasting too much time thinking about Marius; it simply would not do. No effort on her part to attract him would stand a chance against Lilith’s pale beauty; besides, she didn’t know how to set about it.
She sighed loudly and was glad to be interrupted by Mrs Jeffs coming in with the tea tray. There were two cups on it and Tabitha asked idly:
‘Hullo, who’s having tea with me?’
‘Mr van Beek, Sister. He popped his head round the kitchen door and asked if there was a cup to spare. Men need their tea,’ she added comfortably. ‘I did a little bit of buttered toast for you both.’ She beamed at Tabitha and turned round as there was a knock on the half-open door and Marius walked in. ‘That’s right, sir, you come in and keep Sister company—there’s nothing like a nice cuppa and a chat.’ She gave them each a motherly smile and squeezed her plump person past Marius. ‘Too fat, aren’t I?’ she remarked cheerfully, ‘but my hubby says he can’t miss a pound of me.’
She chuckled richly as she shut the door.
Tabitha had had plenty of time to acquire calm. She said now in the tones of a polite hostess: ‘Do sit down, Mrs Jeffs makes a lovely pot of tea and there’s toast too.’
Marius settled himself in the only other chair in the little room.
‘Mrs Jeffs treats me with all the cosy warmth of an affectionate aunt,’ he observed.
‘You don’t mind, I hope? You see, she’s not had any training, only what we’ve been able to give her, so she’s not very well up on hospital etiquette. She has a husband and sons and several grandchildren and I expect she forgets you’re a senior member of the staff. She doesn’t mean…’
He crossed one leg over the other, taking up most of the available space in doing so. ‘Why should I mind? Mrs Jeffs is a treasure and it’s delightful when someone forgets who I am—there are those who don’t.’
He looked at her with a little mocking smile and she went bright red. The mockery went, leaving only kindness. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you, Tabby. You must find it difficult remembering to call me sir in hospital and then treating me just like anyone else outside it.’
Tabitha handed him the toast. ‘Well, yes, I suppose so. Are you glad to be back?’
‘Yes. Lecturing is all very well when you can do it in one place all the time. I keep forgetting where I am.’
She laughed. ‘Do you talk in English?’
‘Sometimes—sometimes German or Dutch, according to where I am. Why do you look so pale?’ He bent an intense gaze upon her. ‘Aren’t you well?’
Tabitha choked on her tea. ‘Yes, thank you. I—I didn’t know I looked any different from usual. You’ve a long list for tomorrow.’
He studied her carefully before he replied. ‘All right, don’t tell me if you don’t want to,’ he remarked mildly. ‘Yes, it is a big list, the first case will take quite a time, but that’s the only one presenting any difficulties. George and I should polish off the rest quickly enough. You’ll be on all day?’
She nodded. ‘Until the evening.’
They drank their tea in silence after that while Tabitha sought vainly for some topic of conversation. It was a pity that she could think of nothing at all to say; she wasn’t in the least surprised when he got to his feet and said: ‘Well, thanks for the tea and the peace,’ and was gone before she could so much as say goodbye.
The week passed and the weather, warm and bright, showed up the ward’s old-fashioned drawbacks so that everybody, staff and patients alike, was inclined to be a little irritable. Marius came and went, good-natured as always, seemingly unaware of the tiresomely old-fashioned surroundings. But then he was free to go at the end of the day’s work in the operating theatre; it was the nurses who had to stay, working in the out-of-date sluices, walking with tired feet up and down the bare wooden floors. There would be, in some distant future, a splendid new hospital, equipped with every modern aid to nursing which could be devised. Tabitha, writing up the Kardex in her stuffy office, wondered how many years it would be before it was built and if she would still be at St Martin’s then.
She laid down her pen at length and went to do her last round. Jimmy had gone, of course; she would be going to his wedding soon. The man in his bed was middle-aged and a little aggressive and she missed Jimmy’s cheerful face; it would be nice to see him married, though. She had bought a new hat for the occasion, a large floppy one with a wavy brim which she considered suited her very well because it hid her face. It was a pretty shade of pink and would help to liven up the rather plain oyster colour silk dress she intended to wear. She had arranged a day off for the wedding so that she would have plenty of time to drive to Bradninch where Jimmy lived, and for a little while at least she had wondered if Marius would suggest that they should go together, but he had said nothing; possibly he had forgotten all about it, for village weddings, she deduced shrewdly, were by no means the only social occasions in the lives of such men as Marius.
She went slowly down one side of the ward and just as slowly up the other, giving her attention to each patient in turn until she came to Mr Bow, who was sitting up in bed making knots with a short length of rope.
‘What are you doing?’ asked Tabitha. ‘Did the physio people give you that to do?’
‘I’m practicing seamen’s knots, Sister, and Marius brought me the rope. A good idea, don’t you think?’
‘Well, yes, I suppose so if you like such things,’ said Tabitha. ‘At least it keeps your fingers supple.’
Mr Bow executed something complicated with admirable dexterity. ‘Indeed, yes.’ He gave her a brief glance from his blue eyes. ‘I am very comfortable, thank you, Sister.’
Tabitha felt herself dismissed, so she said good night and moved on to Mr Raynard’s cubicle. He was deep in a book, but he put a finger carefully in its pages to mark where he had got to and said: ‘Hullo, Tabby Nightingale, still dragging your weary feet from bed to bed?’
‘Well, really,’ she responded indignantly, ‘you make it sound as though I’ve got varicose veins or bunions! You and Mr Bow are very quiet this evening—aren’t you speaking?’
‘Good lord, girl, what queer notions you do get into your head. Of course we’re speaking, but at the moment we are occupied. How is he getting on with his knots?’
Tabitha looked a little bewildered. ‘Very nicely, I imagine. Why is he doing them?’
Mr Raynard darted a quick look at her curious face. ‘You’ll know—any minute now.’ He held his book up for her to see. It was a treatise on coastal navigation and made no sense to her at all.
‘Are you both taking a course on sailing?’ she hazarded at length.
‘You could call it that—and then again, you couldn’t,’ said her chief obscurely. ‘My wife’s late, she promised she would be here.’
Tabitha began to walk away from his bed. ‘Mrs Raynard’s coming through the door now,’ she said. ‘Good night, sir.’
She paused for a word with Mrs Raynard and went on her way towards the ward door. Another fifteen minutes and the night staff would be on; already the two student nurses were doing a last round of the ward, filling water jugs and collecting papers which their readers had refused to hand over earlier in the evening; there was no one very ill. Tabitha decided to go to the office—it was hot there, but it would be nice to have a few minutes to herself. She was at the door when it was swung open from the other side and Marius came in; when she would have passed him with a civil good evening he caught her arm with a ‘No—we want you by Mr Raynard’s bed for a few minutes.’
He spoke without urgency, but there was no escaping the gentle grip on her elbow. She would have liked to have asked why as they went back down the ward, but there was no time, only, as they approached Mr Raynard’s bed, she was able to observe that neither he nor his wife looked in the least surprised at her return.
‘Of course,’ grunted Mr Raynard, ‘I don’t like the idea of doing this in public as it were, but Marius has the idea that his suggestion needs our combined support.’ He fixed Tabitha with a gimlet eye. ‘You’ll not be able to disobey me, my girl.’
Tabitha’s bewilderment grew, mixed with a vague annoyance as she watched Marius scoop Mr Bow out of his bed and into the wheelchair by it, and trundle him briskly into Mr Raynard’s cubicle. She said tartly: ‘I shouldn’t count on that, sir,’ and he roared with laughter before saying:
‘Go on, Marius, before Tabby gets cross.’
Marius was facing her across the bed. He said in his usual placid voice: ‘It’s not fair to tease you, Tabitha. We—that is, all of us here—want you to accompany us on holiday. Mr Bow and Mr Raynard will still be partial invalids even in a couple of weeks’ time, but they have a crazy idea that a week or two’s sailing is just what they need. They’ll neither of them be much use in a boat, but Mrs Raynard crews and you have done some sailing, haven’t you? It seems to all of us ideal if you would help us out by coming along as well, to keep an eye on them both and be company for Mrs Raynard. There’s plenty of room in my house for all of us and the boat will take us easily enough, though heaven alone knows where we shall stow two plastered legs.’ He paused and then said with a smile: ‘The whole thing’s a little mad, isn’t it, but if anything goes wrong they’ll at least be in good hands. There’s just one other thing—do you suppose Meg would mind looking after Podger for a few more weeks? I promise you it won’t be much longer than that. I’ve another lecture tour in about two months’ time, after that Mr Bow will be permanently settled and Podger can rejoin him.’
The silence almost shouted at her when he finished speaking. Not only were those around the bed waiting on her answer, she was aware too that those nearest them in the ward were straining their ears, and that the two student nurses had been tidying the same bed on the opposite side of the ward since Marius had begun to speak; all the same, she had to stop and think. She recognized the fact that it was a matter of convenience that Marius should have asked her to go with them. Both gentlemen would need help to a limited extent and some restraining influence; not by the wildest stretch of the imagination could she suppose that Marius’s invitation had been offered for any other reason. She asked at length:
‘How long should we be gone?’ and saw the sudden gleam in Marius’s eyes. ‘If I should go,’ she added hastily, and he laughed.
‘Three weeks at the outside.’
It sounded wonderful, but there were still several things she had thought of. ‘I’m not booked for a holiday until September—and who will do your work, Mr Raynard?’
The Old Man’s face assumed a cunning expression. ‘Ah, this is where we have used our undoubtedly intelligent brains. Provided—I say provided, Tabby, you agree to come—we have persuaded the powers that be, to allow the ward to be emptied so that it may be brought up to date and redecorated—heaven knows it’s long overdue. It will take about ten days, that leaves George a few days to get the patients transferred; the rest he can cope with in the surgical annexe and then fill this place up again ready for Marius when we come back.’
‘And when are you going to start work, Mr Raynard?’ Tabitha wanted to know. ‘You won’t be able to manage the theatre…’ Mr Raynard showed his splendid teeth. ‘Quiet, girl! I shall do very well. George will be here to do most of the work when Marius goes. I’ve got it all thought out, so don’t distract my thoughts.’
So Marius wouldn’t be coming back; at least, only for a very short time. Then presumably he would go to Chidlake, to Lilith. One of Meg’s endless fund of quotations came into her head, quite unbidden. ‘A bird in the hand…’ Marius was hardly a bird, but it seemed to Tabitha that for once there was some point in the saying. She looked around at their faces; Mr Bow, bearing the satisfied look of a Father Christmas who had successfully weathered yet another Christmas Eve; Mr Raynard looking like a thundercloud—which meant nothing at all; his wife, who caught Tabby’s eye and smiled as though she meant it, and Marius, seemingly placid and unworried as to what she would say. But the look he gave her, although it was both these things, also contained the certainty that she wouldn’t disappoint either Mr Raynard or Knotty. She said, looking at him: ‘I should like to come very much.’
Later, sitting in the flat, talking it over with Meg, she wondered if she had been wise to accept. After all, there were other nurses—she said so out loud to Meg, who pointed out in a practical voice that there wouldn’t be much sense in taking a stranger with them—someone they wouldn’t know and probably wouldn’t like either. Meg knew all about Mr Raynard’s peculiar temperament and she knew about Mr Bow too.
‘Poor old man,’ she said kindly, ‘you can’t expect him to take to someone he’s never met before—why, it would spoil his holiday.’ She looked at Tabitha’s downbent head. ‘That’s why they asked you, Miss Tabby. They know you’ll put up with Mr Raynard’s tantrums, and his wife likes you.’
She didn’t mention Marius at all, and neither did Tabitha.
A couple of days later when she had the opportunity to speak to Marius she asked what arrangements she should make. She had already been to Matron, to be told that Mr Raynard had already spoken personally to that lady, who said with an unwonted degree of friendliness:
‘Of course I agreed at once, Sister Crawley, provided you yourself wish to accompany the party. It seems to me to be a very good idea, and an excellent opportunity to have the ward redecorated and modernized while you are away. I shall come down to see you in a day or so; I daresay you may have some ideas about colour schemes and so forth.’
She nodded gracious dismissal and Tabitha went back to the ward where she found Marius and George drinking coffee in her office. It was then that she asked what she was expected to do next.
‘Nothing,’ said Marius lazily. ‘At least, get your passport up to date if it isn’t, and I suppose women buy clothes.’ He looked at George. ‘Do they, George?’
George, being a married man, said that yes, they did and he couldn’t think why, for old clothes were the only possible wear on holiday. This remark naturally led to a discussion as to the best type of holiday, and Tabitha, seeing that she wasn’t going to get anywhere at all with her own affairs, excused herself, saying with a tinge of sarcasm that there were those who worked; a remark which was quite lost upon her hearers, deep as they were in the joys of fly fishing.
She had better luck with Mrs Raynard, who happened to visit her husband that afternoon. The two of them spent ten minutes comparing notes about what they should take with them so that Tabitha’s mind was set at rest upon that important point at least, although no one had, as yet, told her how they were going. When she had asked Mr Raynard all he said was:
‘Good grief, girl, Marius will see to everything—why do you fuss? You’re all alike!’
‘In which case,’ said Tabitha, thoroughly put out by this unfair remark, ‘you can quite well do without me, and I certainly don’t care to come if I’m to be bawled at every time I open my mouth!’
The last word came out as a small scream, for she was firmly caught round the waist from behind. She didn’t need to ask who it was and her first thought was that it was lucky that they were in the cubicle and not out in the ward. ‘My solemn promise,’ said Marius’s voice in her ear, ‘that if the chief puts you out I shall personally take him out into deep water and drop him overboard. I shan’t need weight—that plaster will do very well.’
They all laughed and he let her go, whereupon she turned smartly on her heel and made for the door, where she paused to say: ‘There are two new cases in, sir—would you like to see them, or shall I ring for Mr Steele?’
He didn’t answer this but asked instead: ‘When are you off, Tabby?’
‘At six.’
‘I’ve had no opportunity to talk to you about the journey to Veere—perhaps this evening?’
‘No,’ said Tabitha too quickly. ‘I—I’ve a previous engagement!’ She gave him a direct look, for after all it wasn’t really a lie; she had promised Meg that she would help her make jam. Marius returned the look with one of his own and although his expression was politely regretful, she was fairly sure that he was laughing at her. ‘Some other time,’ he murmured gently. ‘And now what about these patients?’
Some other time was a vague term rendered useless by a sudden avalanche of work, for a local building site sent in two men, one with a fractured spine and the other with a crushed pelvis; then there was the postman whose brakes had failed on a steep hill just outside the city, and the retired naval officer who, like Mr Raynard, had come a cropper in his garden and fractured his patella into so many pieces that all Marius could do was to remove them—the old gentleman would be a little stiff in the knee, but as he was well over seventy, this drawback wasn’t too severe. There was a little lull after that so that there was time to catch up on the paperwork—time for Marius to seek her out too.
Which he did one afternoon as she sat making out the papers of the patients who had been admitted for operation in two days’time. He asked from the door: ‘May I come in?’ and then, before she could do more than nod: ‘You have a day off tomorrow, haven’t you—unless you’re going to put it off again?’
She had done just that earlier in the week because Rogers’ young man had had a birthday and wanted to take her out to celebrate. ‘No,’ she said sedately.
‘Good. I’m going to Chidlake, come with me—we can talk on the way.’ He came a little further into the room. ‘You can give Mrs Crawley and Lilith a surprise.’
A fine surprise, thought Tabitha, feeling sick at the thought of the fun they would have at her expense. She drew a breath. ‘I—I don’t suppose you know that I—we don’t get on, that is we haven’t many interests in common. I don’t go home often.’ She was drawing a cat with enormous whiskers and a curly tail on the blotting paper and didn’t look up.
‘Of course I know,’ said Marius quietly. ‘I’ve been—er—told. But my dear good girl, even if that is the case, surely you can be civil to each other at least on the surface—think how much easier it would be when you went home.’
Tabitha drew a kitten beside the cat, concentrating fiercely upon it. There was a great deal she would have liked to say, but her thoughts couldn’t be put into coherent words—besides, Lilith would have said all there was to say and he would be biased already. She muttered: ‘I daresay,’ and started on another kitten. Marius sat down and she listened to the chair’s protesting squeak—one day it would give way under him and she would have to explain to Matron…no, he wouldn’t be here long enough for that. She sighed and gave the mother cat a bonnet with a feather.
‘You’re afraid,’ said Marius very softly.
She put her pen down and sat up straight and faced him squarely, her plain face animated into near beauty by her rage. ‘How dare you?’ Her pleasant voice was a little shrill but well under control. ‘Until you came I had my life planned and everything was…you’ve done nothing but…I was safe…’
‘In a rut, with your hair sleeked back and your nose buried in your work, just because a long time ago somebody called you a plain girl.’
‘Oh, but she meant it,’ Tabitha gabbled wildly, ‘and I am.’ She went on furiously: ‘Can’t you see you’ve stirred me up? I was happy before.’
‘Happy? With your broom and no chance of a glass slipper?’
He got up and pulled her out of her chair and held her hands in his.
‘Tabitha, shall we not be friends? After all, I expect to see a great deal of you in the future and we can’t go on like this, at loggerheads, for ever and ever.’
Tabitha stared ahead of her at his white drill coat; it was stiff and spotless, showing a glimpse of a silk tie. If she raised her eyes just an inch or so, she could see his face, but she had no intention of doing that; she was thinking that when he married Lilith it would be so much more comfortable if they all got on well together. She imagined herself in five or six years’ time, spending her holidays in London, or wherever Lilith decided to live, looking after the children while Marius took Lilith on some splendid trip. She said in a bewildered voice: ‘Could we be friends?’
She felt his hands tighten on her own. ‘Yes, Tabby.’ He let go of one hand and lifted her chin and gave her a long look, then kissed her on the cheek—a nice brotherly kiss, thought Tabitha, even in her limited experience. He smiled suddenly and with such charm that she closed her eyes for a second. ‘You’ll come with me tomorrow, Tabitha. I promise you it will be all right. Will you trust me?’
‘Yes.’ She moved away so that he let go her other hand too, and swallowed the lump in her throat which threatened to choke her. ‘What time do you want me to be ready?’
‘About ten or thereabouts, if that suits you. What about Meg? Can we give her a lift somewhere?’
‘I don’t know. I’ll ask her. She might like to visit her sister, only there’s Podger—we try not to leave him alone too much.’
He didn’t seem to find this ridiculous. ‘Supposing we come back directly after tea, that wouldn’t be too long for him to be on his own, would it?’
Tabitha thought not and added diffidently: ‘You know, unexpected people for lunch aren’t always welcome—shouldn’t I…?’
Marius said positively: ‘No, you shouldn’t.’ He got up again and went to the door. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ He smiled very kindly as he went.
Tabitha told Meg all about it when she got home later that evening and was surprised when she said: ‘And a better friend you couldn’t have, Miss Tabby. You be glad of his friendship, love, it’s not what you want, I know, but mark my words, nothing but good will come of it.’ She looked at Tabitha with affection. ‘You’re a spirited girl, your father always said you had pluck—now’s the chance to show it. You be thankful he wants you for a friend, Miss Tabby.’
But Tabby, doing her best to be thankful, only succeeded in being very miserable indeed, but Meg, asleep in her own small room, wasn’t to know that.
It was a heavenly morning. Tabitha got up early, took Meg a cup of tea and then started to tidy the house because Meg had said that she would like to visit her sister at Ottery. She came downstairs presently and cooked their breakfast, and they ate it together in the kitchen while Podger emptied his saucer under the table, then presently when they had washed up together, Tabitha went back upstairs to finish dressing. She put on the dress she had worn the last time she had gone to Chidlake—the one her stepmother had considered wasted upon her. Tabitha looked at herself in the mirror with a touch of defiance; it was a pretty dress and despite Mrs Crawley’s opinion, she intended to wear it. It was a soft shade of apricot, sleeveless and round-necked, exactly the right kind of dress for such a lovely day, and as if he had known she needed reassuring about it, when she went downstairs Marius, who had just arrived, said ‘Hullo, Tabitha, that’s a pretty dress, and it suits you,’ which remark caused her to smile with relief and pleasure, for Marius wasn’t a man to flatter—at least, she amended to herself, she didn’t think that he would flatter her, so that his remark was all the more to be appreciated.
They stopped at Meg’s insistence and had coffee at her sister’s house and by the time they had walked round the garden, admired the pet rabbits, the goat and a great many hens and chicks who lived in the paddock at the back of the cottage, it was almost midday.
‘What time did you say you would arrive?’ asked Tabitha anxiously.
‘Twelvish—my dear girl, do relax, we’re almost there.’
It was true, they were—they flashed past All Hallows school and very shortly afterwards Marius turned the Bentley down the familiar lane which led to Chidlake. When they came to the bend at the top of the hill, Tabitha said: ‘Please will you stop for a moment, Marius—it’s such a lovely view.’ It was; the sun sparkled over Lyme Bay highlighting the cliffs until they faded, miles away, into distant Portland Bill. Nearer, the village lay half hidden below them with Chidlake a little above it, old and tranquil in the sun. Tabitha sighed without knowing it and Marius said quickly: ‘It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I miss this in Holland—it’s lovely there too, but in quite a different way.’ He talked casually about his own country as they slipped down the hill and through the gates, giving her time to collect herself, and when he helped her out of the car he kept a hand tucked beneath her elbow, and that was how Lilith, running out of the house, saw them. Before she could speak he said cheerfully: ‘Hullo, you beautiful girl—I’ve brought Tabitha with me. She’s been working much too hard and she needs a little of your sea air.’
Tabitha watched Lilith’s face crumble into sheer rage and then quickly rearrange itself into a welcoming smile as she slipped an arm into Marius’s, looking up into his face with a charmingly proprietorial air.
‘Marius, how lovely to see you!’ She turned to Tabitha, the smile still upon her lips but temper still blazing in her beautiful eyes.
‘You too, Tabby—such a surprise to see you. You come so seldom, and then only after we’ve begged and begged.’
Tabitha thought of several retorts to this remark; they were all quite unsuitable, so she kept silent, contenting herself by freeing her arm from Marius’s grasp; it was like trying to prise herself loose from an iron vice and just as impossible, for his hand tightened its gentle grip as they walked, the three of them, into the house.
Mrs Crawley came out of the drawing room as they went in, a welcoming smile already upon her face. Like her daughter she kept the smile there even when she saw Tabitha and said lightly: ‘Marius, how very nice—and Tabby too.’ She looked at her then, and Tabitha saw how cold her stepmother’s eyes had become. ‘A pity you didn’t let me know you were coming—so awkward for lunch….’
‘My fault,’ declared Marius instantly. He still had hold of Tabitha’s arm and now she was glad of its reassuring grip. ‘Tabitha didn’t like the idea of taking you by surprise, but I overruled her—after all, she is one of the family.’ He smiled as he spoke and looked placidly at the three of them. ‘Besides, she has some news for you—it seemed a good opportunity to tell you.’
‘News?’ queried Mrs Crawley sharply, and looked so apprehensive that Tabitha had a moment of wicked delight. ‘Well, do come in, and you shall tell us over drinks.’
She led the way into the drawing room, but before Tabitha could sit down she was sent off to the kitchen to tell the cook that there would be one more for lunch, and when she got back the drinks had been poured and Lilith was sitting with Marius on a settee at the far end of the room, and her stepmother was in her usual chair by the French windows. She said at once: ‘Come over here, Tabitha, and tell me your news. Your drink is on the table, bring it with you.’
Tabitha started across the room, wishing with all her heart that she had never come. Lilith and Marius were too far away to join in any conversation she might have with Mrs Crawley; she would have to tell her without any help from Marius, and she could imagine just what her stepmother would say. She had reached the table when Marius spoke.
‘As it is I who persuaded you in the first place, Tabitha, I think I should have a share in the telling.’ He had got up as he spoke and she found him beside her. As he piloted her across to where Mrs Crawley was sitting he looked over his shoulder and said: ‘Come on, Lilith,’ and she got up reluctantly and joined them too. Presently when everyone was settled again, Mrs Crawley asked: ‘Well?’
Marius was at his most casual. ‘There are two old friends of mine in Tabitha’s ward, on the mend with broken legs. They are coming to stay with me for a week or so in Holland. Mr Raynard’s wife will accompany us and we have persuaded Tabitha to come too and keep an eye on the two invalids.’
Lilith, who had arranged herself gracefully on a chair close to Marius, sat up. ‘What? But she can’t—she’s got her ward to look after.’
If Marius found her remark strange he gave no sign but said merely:
‘That is all arranged. Tabby is due for a holiday anyway—it won’t be all work, you know.’
Lilith rounded on Tabitha. ‘Why didn’t you tell us?’ she wanted to know, and Tabitha, who had been sitting as still as a mouse, holding her tongue because she thought that Marius would deal with the situation far better than she could, thought she had better answer.
‘I’ve only known for a short time and I didn’t think you would be interested.’
Mrs Crawley gave a tinkling laugh. ‘Tabby, how sly of you!’ She said it nastily, and Tabitha went pink and bit her lip for fear her mounting temper should escape and spoil everything. Marius came to her rescue.
‘Not sly,’ his voice was bland. ‘We saw no point in telling anyone until we had settled everything—anyway, she made the journey here today especially to tell you.’ He smiled across at Lilith, apparently unnoticing of her sulky face. ‘I knew you’d be delighted, Lilith—I seem to remember you saying how you hoped that Tabitha would have some fun this summer.’ He got up and went and sat on the arm of her chair. ‘After all, you get more than your fair share of that, don’t you? But I suppose that’s natural with a face like yours. It seems to me that there is always a queue of eager young men waiting to fulfil your lightest wish. A mere middle-aged bachelor like myself doesn’t stand a chance.’
Tabitha watched Lilith’s good humour return under Marius’s skilful flattery while she attempted to deal with her own very mixed feelings. To begin with she was sure that Marius’s remarks about Lilith’s concern for her fun were pure fiction and she didn’t much like being designated as a hard-working woman in need of a holiday, and did he have to flatter Lilith quite so outrageously? She looked up and caught his eyes on her and could have sworn that there was a gleam of laughter in them. But he said nothing more and it seemed as though her stepmother and Lilith had accepted his explanation, though grudgingly. She watched while he got to his feet and pulled Lilith out of her chair, saying: ‘Anyway, now I’m here, come and show me the garden; something must have grown since I was here last.’
Tabitha watched them go outside, arm-in-arm. Probably the moment they were out of sight, she thought bitterly, Marius would kiss her stepsister. A pain which was almost physical filled her chest so that she caught her breath with its sharpness; she had been unhappy for a long time, but this was a different kind of unhappiness; she wanted to get up and run away from it. Instead, she turned an interested, rather pale face to her stepmother who was speaking. ‘They make a delightful pair,’ she observed complacently, ‘Lilith couldn’t do better for herself. I hear he’s very rich and well connected, and being so much older than Lilith she will be able to do exactly as she likes with him.’
Tabitha felt sick. She said carefully: ‘Lilith’s lucky to have found someone to love so early in her life.’
Mrs Crawley laughed shortly. ‘Love—who said anything about love?’ she wanted to know. ‘Lilith has the good sense to want a rich easy-going husband. Only a fool like you would start drooling about love.’ She frowned. ‘I can’t say I’m delighted at your news—why should I be? On the other hand, perhaps it’s a good thing. Some other girl might have gone, but you’re just a nurse who works for him and I suppose you’ll be employed as a sort of mother’s help. He sees you every day, so you’re quite commonplace to him, and anyway, you aren’t exactly exciting, are you, Tabby? I should hardly call you a threat to Lilith’s future.’
She smiled—the smile Tabitha couldn’t bear—so she got up so as not to see it and said: ‘Here they come—shall I go and tell Cook she can serve lunch?’
Lunch went very well, though it seemed to Tabitha that everything was a little unreal, for she and Lilith and her stepmother were all playing parts while Marius, entertaining them with casual charm, appeared not to notice their stilted politeness to each other. All the same it was a relief when after the meal her stepmother suggested that she might like to go upstairs and pack any clothes she might need for her holiday. Tabitha, who had no clothes upstairs, nevertheless agreed because she could see that it was a ruse to get her out of the way; she was even more sure of this when Mrs Crawley announced that she would rest for an hour or so. They went upstairs together, and presently Tabitha, standing in her little room by the window, heard the purr of the Bentley’s engine, and by craning her neck was able to watch Marius, with Lilith beside him, drive away.
She sat on her bed for quite half an hour, wondering if she should back out of the trip to Veere, but in the end she decided against the idea. It seemed certain that Lilith was going to get Marius, and as he didn’t appear to mind being caught, there was nothing to do about that. But there was no reason why she shouldn’t have a holiday. She would be able to see Marius every day and whatever happened afterwards, she would have that to remember. She went downstairs and out into the garden and started to weed one of the borders.
They left soon after tea, although she had half expected that Marius would want to stay later, despite his promise. He and Lilith had come back at the end of the afternoon, laughing and talking in the most friendly way, but Tabitha detected a faint uneasiness in Lilith’s manner as well as an expression of bewilderment on her face, and her heart leapt with foolish delight because that must mean that Marius hadn’t asked her to marry him.
They didn’t talk much on the way back; it was only as they were approaching Ottery that Marius said: ‘Well, it wasn’t so bad, was it? You would have had to have told them sooner or later, you know—they would have got to hear about it somehow or other, these things get around. It will be easier for you next time you see them….’
Tabitha interrupted him: ‘Is that why you went to all that trouble—making it easy for me?’
‘No trouble, dear girl,’ he gave her a sidelong glance. ‘I intended you to tell them yourself, but you looked’—he paused—‘anyway, since I asked you to come in the first place, it seemed hardly fair.’
He stopped the car outside the cottage in Ottery. ‘By the way, I thought you had some clothes to bring back?’
Tabitha blushed. ‘Well—no, I haven’t anything at Chidlake. It was just so that you and Lilith…’ She was interrupted by his laugh, which was one of genuine amusement.
When they got back to the flat he got out of the car to help Meg and then opened the door for them and Tabitha said uncertainly: ‘Well, do come in if you’d like to,’ and led the way to the kitchen where Podger was waiting for them. Tabitha picked him up and Meg, after a glance at her, said comfortably: ‘I’ve a dozen of the freshest eggs in my bag. How about scrambling some of them for supper?’
‘If that’s an invitation, I accept,’ said Marius. ‘If someone will show me where everything is, I’ll lay the table.’ Which he did while Tabitha fed the cat and made the coffee and Meg set to work with the eggs. They sat down presently and ate their simple meal, and when Meg produced a large jam sponge, as light as a feather, and a bowl of cream they ate that too. The talk was of everyday things, and Meg, who could be discreet, asked no questions about Chidlake or its occupants, but wanted to know about their holiday instead. They all washed up afterwards and when Tabitha went to the door with Marius, he said: ‘That was the best meal I’ve had for a long time,’ and then, ‘A very nice ending to the day, Tabby, though I can see that I must have patience for a little longer.’
She thought he was talking about Lilith—who surely hadn’t refused him? She said kindly: ‘Don’t worry, I’m sure you won’t have to wait.’
He kissed her on the mouth and she guessed that he hadn’t meant to do so. ‘I’ll remind you of that one day,’ he said, and got into the car.
Tabitha went back to the kitchen and helped Meg get ready for the morning. She told her a little of her day at Chidlake, and Meg heard her out with patience and then said: ‘There’s many a slip, Miss Tabby dear, and don’t you worry your head over the things your stepmother says. Hard words break no bones,’ she added comfortingly.
Who cares about bones, thought Tabitha, going to her bed, it’s my heart that’s been broken. She undressed quickly and got into bed, where she lay awake for a very long time wondering why Marius hadn’t proposed to Lilith, and alternatively, why Lilith, who had seemed so keen to marry him, hadn’t accepted him if he had proposed. It was a question she would dearly have loved to have answered. Unfortunately there was no one to do so. She would have to go on guessing.