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Natalie was dizzy from the turmoil of her emotions. Sure, gratitude was mixed up in it, but she knew that wasn't the true reason she'd launched herself at Rafe. The true reason was what she'd just confessed.
She wanted to live.
She'd put much of her life on hold because of Shyla, either anticipating her next cry for help or trapped by having to deal with the fallout of her sister's actions to the exclusion of her own needs.
Maybe it was time to let at least some of her guilt go.
Rafe hadn't said a word. She held her breath, waiting, watching. Who knew what calculations were going on behind that proud forehead?
His hands on her hips, he pressed her away. Her heart sank. He didn't want her, not like she wanted him. He only felt sorry for her. That was why he'd kissed her back.
Without a word, he took her by the hand and led her out of the room. She had to trot to keep up with his long, sure strides. At the end of the hall, he drew her into what was obviously the master bedroom.
Her heart rebounded out of the depths of her stomach into her throat. He stopped at the foot of the massive king-sized bed with its charcoal cover, took her free hand, and placed both her palms on the bare skin of his chest. Her fingers spread, the crinkly hairs tickling between them. A dull, rapid thudding reverberated behind the wall of muscle.
Still without speaking, he tucked his hands under the waistband of her shorts—his shorts—and paused. He'd obviously discovered she was bare underneath. Sucking in a breath, he slipped them off until they puddled on the floor. She stepped out of them and flicked them away with her toes.
The T-shirt and hoodie she wore were more than adequate to cover her. They were longer than some dresses she owned. Used to own.
She squashed that pathetic thought and lifted her gaze from her contemplation of his chest to his face.
Whatever he saw in hers seemed to please him. The faint lines of concern around his eyes softened and a tiny smile curled the corners of his mouth. “Is this what you want, Natalie?”
“Yes.” She barely breathed the syllable. “This.”
He shrugged out of his shirt and it joined the shorts on the floor. His shoulders were broad and straight, and his torso tapered to a slim waist. A swimmer's build. The silver and black hair of his chest narrowed into a thin line that disappeared behind the front of his trousers.
Trousers that did little to hide his erection.
She palmed him through the fabric. He hissed and his hips jerked forward into her grip. The overly long sleeve of her sweatshirt fell over her hand and she pushed it out of the way with irritation. It fell back down again. She released him to cross her arms over her body and grasp the hems of both the hoodie and T-shirt. They were so huge it was no struggle to divest herself of them at the same time. In an instant, she was naked.
Red flushed the harsh bones of his face and his eyes glittered. “May I?” He reached for her glasses. She nodded, and he slipped them off her nose and placed them on top of the high dresser behind him.
Thank god she was near-sighted. As close as Rafe was, she could still see his expression. She didn’t want to miss a single moment of this night.
Without touching her, his hands traced her shape, from shoulders to breasts to hips to core. Gooseflesh followed his motions as if he had stroked every inch. She arched her back, her nipples pointed and ready, begging for more.
He obliged. His big hands closed over her breasts, engulfing them. His palms were heated brands and she moaned, swaying forward. Electric sparks of desire zipped along her nerves. Dampness bloomed at her centre. This was exactly what she'd wanted...to feel alive in a way she never had before.
Because she’d never been with Rafe before.
He bent over her, his chin brushing the crown of her head. She felt his words as much as heard them. “Undo my pants.”
She hurried to obey. Her fingers slid behind the fastening at the waistband and his stomach muscles clenched. With a fumbling flick, she released the button and gripped the zipper tab. Protecting him with one hand inside the fly, she lowered the zip and freed him.
His length was hot and heavy, silky and strong. His fingers squeezed her breasts when she clasped him in both hands, his breath panting hot on her hair, fluttering the strands.
“You feel so good.” She rubbed a thumb up the pulsing vein to the crown, unable to take her eyes off him. “You're gorgeous.”
“Hah.” It wasn't a laugh so much as an exhalation. “I don't know how long I can wait.”
“No need on my account.” She was ready. So ready. She lifted her chin and scraped her teeth on his collarbone. “Condom?”
He froze. “Shit.”
“No condom?” She was going to die if he wasn't inside her soon.
“Don't go anywhere.”
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FOR A MAN WHO PRIDED himself on being prepared, Rafe was a goddamn idiot. He'd known he was attracted to Natalie for weeks now. Why hadn't he bought condoms just in case?
Because he hadn't wanted to jinx it? No. Because he hadn't believed she'd ever allow him to get this close.
If he'd let himself hope and it never happened, it would have killed him.
He left her standing there, flushed, naked, and staring, paced with undignified haste to his ensuite, and scrabbled through the drawers.
It had been more than a year since his last sexual encounter. His partner then had been a doctor doing a three-month locum rotation at the hospital. She had been the perfect candidate—attractive, intelligent, business-like when it came to sex, and with a built-in expiration date.
He unearthed a lone foil packet tucked at the back of a drawer, clutched it, and returned to the bedroom—
—to find Natalie sprawled against the pillows at the head of his bed, legs wide in abandon, fingers stroking herself.
He stumbled to a stop, his knees weak, his stare locked on her beautiful, glistening centre.
“I see you found one. Thank god.” Her voice was low, throaty, and relieved. “What are you waiting for?”
He could have watched her forever. His cock disagreed, bobbing hard and demanding against his belly. Quickly he shoved his pants off, ripped open the packet, and rolled on the protection. Her eyes gleamed and she ran her tongue along her lips.
With a lunge that would have done an adolescent boy proud, he launched onto the mattress and crawled up her body. How someone so much shorter than he could be exactly the right fit was a mystery he could unravel later.
Searching for control, he kissed her, tasting her sweetness and heat, building the tension past it's already unbearable level. She wriggled and moaned beneath him, her fingers digging into his buttocks, urging him to move up.
To move in.
He surrendered to her wordless command. Braced on his elbows, he nudged his cock to her entrance. She opened her legs wider, lifted her hips, and pushed.
Her heat pulsed around the tip of his shaft. Clinging to control, he slid deeper, excruciatingly aware of every clench of her muscles, every gasp of her breath.
She clutched him, her heels hooked in the back of his knees, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. “So good.”
He flexed his hips, grinding gently against her. Her head dropped back and her eyelids fluttered closed. “Yes.”
When he withdrew, she moaned. “No.”
“Don't worry.” He brushed his lips on her forehead. “I'm not going anywhere.”
He advanced and retreated, advanced and retreated, setting a rhythm that coiled in his blood, snaked down his spine. She followed his lead, muscles relaxing as she welcomed him in, contracting when he pulled away. Her eyes remained closed and a frown settled between her brows. He kissed it, hunching his back to reach, and driving himself even deeper.
Her release was a matter of quiet intensity. He held her as she quivered, rocked, whimpered, and then softened beneath him. He held still, his hardness engulfed in her silkiness, until her eyes opened.
With a tenderness that unmanned him, she touched his cheek with trembling fingers. “Rafe.”
He swallowed, biting back emotion.
She drew him down until all his weight rested on her. Her lips on his ear sent shivers fluttering over his skin. “Now, Rafe. Take me like you need me.”
And he did. He let himself go as he never had with anyone else, slamming home into her encompassing wetness, urged on by her pressing fingers, gripping thighs, encouraging words. Not once did he think about finesse, about technique, about performance.
She offered herself, and he took her, unashamedly, whole-heartedly.
And when he shattered, she held him as he shook, as he shuddered...
As he lost his soul to her.
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NATALIE'S NOSE WAS pressed into Rafe's armpit. He'd stretched his arm over his head to brace against the headboard, and at the end had collapsed on her as if he’d been shot.
Her lips curled in a Cheshire grin. She had done that. Driven him to such distraction he'd lost all control. Inhaling, she sucked in the scent of man, of sweat, of sex.
And with smug wonder, felt desire stir inside her once more. Maybe all she'd needed to regain the lustiness she’d lost after her divorce was a near-death experience.
Whatever the reason, she'd just had the best sex of her life.
With lazy strokes, she trailed her fingers over the bumps of Rafe's spine, feeling the muscles flex and shiver. With a groan he slid to the side. “Be right back.”
He rolled to the edge of the mattress and headed to the ensuite, staggering slightly.
Her grin widened.
Water ran for a moment and then he reappeared, bracing his forearms against the door frame and glaring at her. “What the hell have you done to me? My legs feel like spaghetti.”
“Me?” She stretched, arching her back and pointing her toes. His gaze swept up and down her, as tactile as a caress. “I didn't do anything.”
“Minx.” He crawled up from the foot of the bed, stalking her like a lion.
Then crumpled face down next to her. She giggled.
He twisted his neck to reveal one dark eye, the eyebrow above quirked in suspicion. “Did you just laugh at me?” His voice was muffled against the sheets.
“Of course not.” She snorted again.
“As soon as I get my strength back, you'll pay for that.” His eye closed. “I keep forgetting I'm not as young as I used to be.”
She shifted to her side and snuggled next to his torso, lifting a bent knee to rest on his taut ass and laying her cheek on his shoulder blade. “Could have fooled me.”
His back rose and fell with his breaths. Her heart, still beating heavily from exertion, thudded in her chest. Her eyes drifted shut, and for a few minutes she did nothing but be.
It was wonderful to be alive.