After making them both a cup of chamomile tea, Logan sat down at a table with Alex. “So how’s it going?” he asked. “Rooming with a legend.”
He expected her to laugh, but she didn’t. Instead, her lips thinned, and her jaw tightened.
“That bad?”
Her eyes widened. “No, I don’t mean to make it sound . . . I mean . . .” When she took a sip of her tea, Logan noticed her hands shaking.
“Alex, what’s wrong?”
She studied him for a moment. “Look, you’re the one who led me to God. If I talk to you about . . . spiritual things, will you keep it between us?”
“Sure.”
“What do you know about Kaely’s method of profiling?”
Logan shrugged. “I was told she looks over the facts of a case and then tries to see the UNSUB. Talks to him as if he were sitting in the room with her. Seems to work for her. I don’t have a problem with it.”
“I . . . I watched her do it. Once at the motel and again tonight, just before she left to talk to you and Noah. When she was gone, I tried it myself.”
Logan could tell Alex was upset, but he wasn’t sure why. “Did it work?”
She nodded. “Maybe too well.”
Trying not to sound frustrated, Logan said, “I’m sorry. I just don’t understand. What are you trying to tell me?”
She sighed deeply. “Look, I know you’ll say this was my imagination, but I . . . saw something at the motel. And then tonight, I heard something.”
“Like what?”
“I saw someone sitting in the chair at the motel when Kaely did her thing. And then, a little while ago, I tried it when I was by myself and heard a voice.”
“What did the voice say?”
She blinked several times before saying, “It told me I’m not Kaely Quinn. That I’m no match for . . . whoever it was. And that . . .”
“That what?” Logan asked gently. He wasn’t certain what had spooked Alex, but he knew she hadn’t been the same since Kaely Quinn showed up. Alex had battled demons most people would never face. But now she seemed a little weaker and unsure of herself.
“That I was going to die.”
She watched for his reaction. Although what she’d said frightened him, he tried not to show it.
“Is this . . . demonic?” she asked.
“Probably.”
He leaned closer to her. “Alex, I can’t tell you what to do, but my first question is why are you using Kaely’s technique? You’re a fantastic behavioral analyst. The best I’ve ever worked with. Why do you feel you have to do things the way someone else does them?”
Her eyes narrowed, and she frowned at him. “There’s nothing wrong with learning. If Kaely successfully uses something I don’t, why wouldn’t I want to try it?”
He was quiet for a moment, weighing his words. He didn’t want to offend her. “You’re right. We should all want to grow. We need to increase our knowledge about patterns and behaviors that help us to more clearly understand aberrant personalities. But we’re all different. What works for one person won’t necessarily work for someone else.”
“Do you find Kaely’s technique strange?”
“Well, yes. For me. Maybe for you too. Look, if it works for her, fine. I’m not knocking her. She’s a great analyst. But you need to use the techniques that work for you. And you need to learn more about spiritual warfare. You may have a gift that allows you to see things in the Spirit. A Scripture in Second Corinthians tells us not to compare ourselves with others.” He sighed. “Just find out who you are, Alex. God will show you. Develop your own gifts and ways of using them.”
She hesitated a moment, then said, “I hear what you’re saying, but I really respect her. I . . . I’d really like to be more like her.”
Logan shook his head. “You have an incredible reputation from your time with Kansas City, and I’ve watched your work since you got here. You’re so talented. Why can’t you see that?”
She looked away from him. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re right.” She swung her eyes back to meet his. “I have no one to model myself after, Logan. No father. A mother who checked out on me and eventually killed herself. A mentally ill aunt I had to take care of when I was only twelve. I guess my only identity has been based on my career. But the truth is, I’ve been playing a role for a long time, acting the way I thought someone like me is supposed to act.”
She took a deep, shaky breath. “I know what you’re going to say. That now I belong to God, and He has a plan for me. That I need to be like Him. I understand, and I totally agree with you. But I have no idea what a father is. I have nothing to refer to. I’ve admired Kaely Quinn for a long time. Can you blame me if I see her as a role model?”
“Ever since we started working together, you’ve battled your demons with strength and determination. And then Kaely Quinn comes along and your insecurities find a target. A person who seems to embody everything you want to be. I don’t want you to lose yourself by trying to be like someone else.”
Alex took another sip of tea and then leaned back in her chair. She gazed up at the ceiling for a moment. “You could be right. Maybe I’m trying too hard to pattern myself after Kaely. I just want to be the best I can be.”
“And you will be. But not by trying to imitate someone else. Listen, Alex, please don’t try Kaely’s method again. And tell her what happened, okay?”
“No,” she said quickly, her voice raised. “I don’t want her to know. She’ll think I’m pathetic.”
“I’m pretty sure she won’t. I believe she needs to know. Really.”
“I’ll think about it.” Her eyes narrowed. “So what about the voice? My imagination? Or something else?”
“Did Kaely mention having the same kind of experiences?”
Alex nodded.
“Then it could be either one. The story was in your head. Your imagination may have kicked in.”
“But you think it might have been . . .”
“Demonic? Yeah, it’s possible. But if you don’t do it again—”
“Then it won’t happen.”
“Yes. But again, Kaely knows more about this than I do. I’m sure she wouldn’t have shown you her way of profiling if she’d known you were susceptible to this kind of thing. Most people wouldn’t have had the same experience you had. I really think she can help you.”
“I’ll think about it.” She gave him a quick smile. “Thanks. I really appreciate being able to talk to you about this.” She sighed. “When I was a kid, I saw The Exorcist. I just want to make sure my head won’t start spinning around, and that I’m not going to suddenly spew pea soup everywhere.”
“Well, if you think the pea soup thing is going to happen, could you warn me first?”
For the first time since they’d sat down, Alex laughed. “You’ll be the first to know.”
“Good. I feel much better. I kind of like this sweater.”
She laughed again.
“You heard that Donald Reinhardt may be coming in tomorrow?” Logan said.
“Yeah, I think that’s wise since he’s indirectly mentioned in the message left at Mrs. Wong’s place.” She frowned. “So Monty’s rooming with you? I’ve been worried about him.”
“Yeah. He could have a room to himself, but he didn’t want to be alone. He’s a mess. Especially since he’s having to handle arrangements for his grandmother over the phone.”
“Well, surely he’ll be able to attend her funeral.”
Logan nodded. “Jeff told him he’ll have to be escorted there and back, but they’ll make sure he gets a chance to say good-bye. I’d like to go, but it might not be possible.”
“Poor guy. I’d like to attend too.”
“He called his parents, but it sounds like they aren’t interested enough to show up. I don’t get it.”
“I don’t either, but maybe they just can’t make it.”
Logan shrugged. “Maybe. I’m not going to judge them since I don’t know them, but if my kids needed me, I hope I’d move heaven and earth to make sure I was there for them.” He took a sip of tea before saying, “So have you and Kaely come to any new revelations? Is that what she said you could tell me? The reason she stopped by?”
“Actually, yes.” She filled him in on what they’d been talking about, about who the UNSUB could be targeting next.
“You think he’s after us? Kaely, you, and me?” He shook his head. “I can’t be a target. Even my mother forgets my name sometimes.”
“Very funny. I’m sure that’s not true.”
“That’s a little unnerving. Why you and me? Could it be related to a case we all worked together?”
“Maybe. Or maybe it’s just because he sees us as the opposition. The people looking for him. Tomorrow we talk to Jeff. We’ve been looking at the victims, how they might have triggered the UNSUB, but now we need to concentrate on the four of us.” She stopped for a moment.
“What?”
“It’s just a big shift in my thinking.” She frowned at Logan. “We’ve helped on . . . what? About a dozen cases together? The biggest one involved Adam Walker. But he’s dead. His family is dead. So it couldn’t have anything to do with him.”
Even the mention of their work on the infamous Train Man case made Logan nervous. “Someone from the Circle?” He shook his head slowly. “This doesn’t feel like them. Besides, most of them are peaceful. Just duped.”
“We certainly met some who weren’t peaceful,” Alex said.
“But they were outcasts. Besides, why would they kill John Davis and Evan Bayne? They had nothing to do with what happened with Walker.”
Alex drew a circle on the table with her finger. Logan wondered if she realized it. The Circle, a secretive society that believed the world was inhabited by angels and demons, had impacted both of them. But Logan had moved on. Had Alex?
“You’re right. Davis and Bayne had nothing to do with the Circle.” She offered him a small smile. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. Believe me, I think about them too. Wondering what they’re up to now.”
“Probably nothing. Just waiting for the world to end.”
Although she hadn’t meant it to be funny, it was, and Logan laughed.
Alex’s lip quivered before she laughed too. “Sorry. That was the strangest case I’ve been involved in.”
“Before this one?”
She studied him for a moment. “Yes. The way he’s set this up? It’s diabolical.”
“I agree.”
“Kaely also thinks our UNSUB could be here. Watching us. Or maybe someone working for him.”
“That’s not possible. Everyone here is law enforcement—except for the support staff, and I’m sure they’ve been thoroughly checked out.”
“What about Bradley Summers?”
Summers was an FBI agent who turned out to be an operative for the Chinese, yet the agents who served with him in BAU 1 never suspected him—not for a moment. Washington sent in someone from Homeland Security pretending to be a supervisory special agent, and he was planted into the unit. It took four months, but Summers was finally outed and indicted for treason.
“Summers was an anomaly,” Logan said, his tone a little brusque. Several people in DC had also been involved in the scandal. It was a black eye for the Bureau. The men and women who worked in the FBI were proud of the work they did, and a traitor like Summers was hard to accept.
“I know,” Alex said. “I’m sorry. That was tough on all of us.”
“No, I’m sorry. We all have to get past that. Hopefully, we’ll be able to earn back the public’s trust.” He took another sip of his tea. “Let’s forget Summers and look at this situation clearly. Kaely thinks the UNSUB may have some kind of access to us?”
“We both wonder about it. It’s just a theory, but the UNSUB knows too much.” She pursed her lips for a moment before asking, “Could Reinhardt be a target?”
“I’m sure Jeff’s thought about that. He’ll be brought in safely.”
Alex sighed. “I still feel like we’re the next targets. We all have to be careful.”
“Okay,” Logan said slowly. He paused a moment, then added, “We just need to keep our heads on a swivel.”
“I agree. Maybe tomorrow Jeff will have something encouraging to tell us. Who knows, the UNSUB might have already been caught.”
Logan nodded, but in his gut he knew that wasn’t true. And by looking at Alex, he knew she didn’t believe it either.