“If you get any more rigid, you could pass for a corpse.”
Forcing my body to relax and take a deep breath, I scramble for a coherent sentence to answer her, but nothing comes to mind. Why is she asking? Does she have an interest in him and is worried about our relationship? I let go of her hand and rub my roiling stomach.
“Wow, I don’t know if your silence or body is more telling.” She props her head on her palm, digging her elbow into the bed, and stares at me. “Spill it, Franny.”
I give her a sideways glare and continue to stare at the ceiling. “Why are you asking?”
“Because you’re my sister and I care about you.”
“Care, as in you think I will get hurt? Because he couldn’t possibly be interested in me? Or because you’re attracted to him?”
The silence lengthens and the twelve-inch gap between us feels more like a mile.
So much for the sisterly comradery of a few moments ago. Tears prick behind my eyes and I stare fixedly at a popped nail or screw pushing the sheetrock out in the ceiling forming a tiny circle.
Grasping my chin, she turns my head toward her. “Francine Dawson you are a beautiful, courageous, smart, wonderful, woman and any guy would be lucky to have your interest.”
Her scowl pinches her eyebrows together and wrinkles her forehead. “You keep making that face and you will get premature wrinkles.”
She rolls her eyes and lets go of my chin. “You sound like Mother.”
The cringe is followed by a shiver of dread. “Please don’t say that.”
“You know people say it’s inevitable that daughters end up turning into their mothers, right?”
“That will not happen. Not to me at least. You, I’m not so sure about. You already resemble her and have the perfection aura that surrounds you.”
“I’m not perfect by any means. I’ve told you the mess my life is in.”
“It doesn’t make you any less perfect, it probably makes you more so because you were married to such a scum bag and stayed at a job you hated. How did you do it? I wouldn’t have had the strength.”
“It wasn’t strength, it was weakness. I was afraid to leave. You’re the strong one because you would never have stuck around.”
Rolling over onto my stomach I rest my cheek on my folded hands. “You’re not weak, Luce.”
“How about we make a pact? You’ll tell me I’m strong when I’m feeling weak, and I’ll remind you how wonderful you are when you’re starting to doubt yourself, deal?”
She holds out her hand for me to shake and I grasp it with my own. “Deal.”
“Good. So now will you tell me what’s going on with you and Mitch?”
“What makes you think anything is going on? You were the one on a date with him.”
“It wasn’t a date and you were the one he left with.”
“What do you mean it wasn’t a date?”
“He showed up here looking for you after you had already left with Bobby. When I said as much, he asked me if I was hungry.” She shrugged. “I was bored more than anything, so I went along with him. I’m not sure how he knew you were at the inn, but I don’t think it was a coincidence we ended up eating there.”
Mitch was looking for me? Why? Because he was jealous, or because he was worried I’d screw up my date with Bobby and he wanted to be there as a friend to rescue me?
Studying her expression, I ask, “So you’re not interested in him?”
“Of course not! I just filed for divorce. The last thing I’m thinking about is getting involved with anyone. Although he is quite handsome and charming. He had Mom and Dad completely dazzled the other night at the club. He did it all so effortlessly too. You should have been there.”
“I wasn’t invited. You must realize Mom has decided the two of you are perfect together. She’s practically planning your wedding.”
“Mom can be overzealous but I promise you there is nothing going on between Mitch and me. Nor will there be.”
“Okay, so you’re not interested in him. It doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in you.”
“Trust me, I know when a guy is interested, and he has shown zero signs. I get the distinct friend vibe from him.”
“What were you two doing in the park together?”
“We weren’t together. At least not at first and not for long. I was feeling sorry for myself and went for a stroll in the park and ended up sitting on the bench sniffling. I heard giggling and I twisted around to see Mitch surrounded by a group of teenage girls. He posed for a dozen or so selfies with them before spotting me on the bench and excusing himself from the bunch to come over to me. He could tell I was upset and sweetly asked if there was anything he could do. When I said no, he told me he’d never been married, but he’s been through breakups before and even if they’re ending for all the right reasons, it’s still an ending and it’s okay to mourn the loss.”
She sighs. “He was incredibly sweet and kind. Then he made me laugh telling me a story about the time an obsessed fan followed him into the men’s room.”
I just fell head over heels in love with Mitch.
It hurts, it’s a real physical ache, but it’s also a yearning and hope that burgeons inside me.
The fear and heartbreak that Mitch and Lucinda are falling in love is gone.
“Hello? I’m still waiting for the details. You two have obviously been spending time together and unless I’m wrong, you are interested in him, right?”
Grabbing my pillow and burying my face in it, I groan.
I roll over with a sigh and fluff the pillow under my head. “He was my first kiss and I’ve never gotten over him.”
“Wait a minute, how was he your first kiss? I realize you haven’t dated all that much, but you have dated.”
“It happened when I was thirteen and he was fourteen.”
“You’ve known Mitch that long? How come I didn’t know that? Where did you two meet?”
“We met on the beach. His parents had rented a place on the lake for the summer. I was on the town beach shaping a lump of clay I had painstakingly scooped up from the bottom edges of the rock that protruded from the water approximately ten feet from shore. Gritty sand and gray clay covered my pink and white striped swimsuit. A shadow appeared over my shoulder asking me, ‘Whatcha doing?’ He squatted to inspect my creation and after stumbling over the first few words as I stared at the dark-haired boy, I hesitantly explained the process of digging out the clay, shaping it, letting it dry in the sun. We spent the rest of the summer together playing on the beach and exploring the town. Mitch and I were together almost every day. He came back the next two years. I lived for summer. Then he left, after giving me my first kiss, and I never heard from him again.”
“How did I not know this? Do Mom and Dad? Does anyone in town? I would think they would have put up a sign: Vacation spot of Mitch Atwater, or something.”
I chuckle. “Mrs. Roberts is the only one I’m aware of who does, I don’t think anyone else in town knows or remembers.”
“Wait a minute, he’s the scrawny boy you were always disappearing with!” Frowning, she got the pinched look again. “You were just a kid, what was he doing kissing you?”
“Luce, I was thirteen. How old were you when you got your first kiss?”
“It depends. Exactly what kind of kiss are we talking about?”
We’d been sitting on the end of my dock dipping our toes in the water after spending the day together as usual. No one had been home. My father was still working then, and my mother was off doing whatever she did all day. Lucinda had gone away with a friend so I had felt safe bringing him home to have a snack. Afterwards, we’d wandered outside and ended up on the dock. I’d smiled at him after splashing his leg with water and he’d leaned over and kissed me. It lasted only a second.
“The kiss was entirely innocent, just a quick peck on the lips really, but it meant the world to me.”
It was the only kiss he gave me that summer, but my heart had already fallen for him even before he gave me my first kiss.
He’d left the following week.
“Well, that’s okay then.”
A soft snort of laughter rattles in my chest. “And how old were you when you received your first kiss?”
“Never you mind. Tell me more about your relationship with Mitch.”
“There’s not much more to tell. He left at the end of the summer and I never saw him again until a few weeks ago. I wasn’t even sure he would remember me.”
“Obviously he did.”
“Yes, but as his buddy, not someone he could be interested in romantically.”
“Are you sure about that? He seemed inordinately concerned over you at dinner and he rushed you away from Bobby the first chance he got. What happened when you got to his apartment? I mean you are wearing what I assume are his T-shirt and shorts.”
Heat steals over my face.
“That blush is certainly telling. What happened Franny?”
“Not what you think. I mean he gave me his clothes to change into because my dress was a mess. We didn’t—you know.”
“What? You didn’t have sex?”
“No, we didn’t.”
Lucinda rolls onto her stomach and crosses her feet in the air behind her. “Franny, have you had sex before?”
My face burns. I close my eyes and count to ten hoping to cool my cheeks.
“No, but if you launch into a lecture about the birds and the bees, I will be justified in killing you.”
“Duly noted, but if you ever need to talk—I’m here.”
“Thanks.”
“So, have you made any overtures towards Mitch to let him know how you feel?”
“Not exactly.”
“Define not exactly.”
Operation fake girlfriend and fake crush come spilling out in a torrent of words. Her eyes get wider and wider as the story unfolds.
When I am done, I cross my arms over my eyes and wait for the shock to wear off and my sister to respond.
“He’s been teaching you how to kiss?”
I nod without dropping my arms.
“With tongue, hands and full body contact?”
“Yes, what’s your point?”
“My point is unless he’s a real son of a bitch and taking advantage of you, then I can’t see any other plausible reason to take it so far unless he is interested in you. Back to the full body contact part, you are aware guys can’t exactly hide when they’re aroused?”
I drop my arms and stare at her.
“Yes, I mean he was not unaffected.”
“Okay, and I haven’t gotten the impression that Mitch is the type of guy to take advantage.”
“No, of course not.”
“Then the evidence speaks for itself.”